Holy crap, Nance and Trey are going to be here tomorrow, and I haven’t scrubbed the baseboards or put a fresh coat of paint on the downstairs bathroom! (Ha!) I’ve warned Nance that the house is a pig sty, but I don’t think she believes me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   I had a busy and productive Saturday, … Continue reading “6/30/08”

Holy crap, Nance and Trey are going to be here tomorrow, and I haven’t scrubbed the baseboards or put a fresh coat of paint on the downstairs bathroom!


I’ve warned Nance that the house is a pig sty, but I don’t think she believes me.



I had a busy and productive Saturday, which allowed for some slacking on Sunday. I love it when that happens. Not only did I have 3,000 pounds of summer squash and green beans to process, I also had to clean the kitchen and move some stuff around and… hm. I sure did think I got a lot more than that done, but at least my kitchen is clean and kind of organized.

Fred suggested that I use the dressing in the 3-Bean Salad recipe to make a 3-squash salad out of some of the summer squash, zucchini, and cucumbers we had. I cubed everything up, added half a sliced onion, and dumped the dressing over it. I made it in the morning and let it marinate all day before we had it at dinnertime. It was really good, but my digestive system disagreed with that assessment, and I got up so many times early yesterday morning to use the bathroom that at 4:30 I finally said FUCK THIS and just got up instead of trying to go back to sleep.

By 9:00 I’d done some laundry, some more kitchen cleaning, taken the recycling to the recycling center, and gotten groceries and was home again. I spent the morning cleaning the kitchen, including both refrigerators, and cleaning out the last couple of cabinets I hadn’t gotten to on Saturday. I moved some stuff around on the counter tops in an attempt to declutter, moved the furniture in the front room around, vacuumed the downstairs, and then spent the rest of the day kind of slacking, along with hanging out with the kittens and doing some more laundry.

One of the things I did on Saturday was make my own laundry detergent. I used this recipe, and it was really pretty easy. For a few dollars, I ended up with two gallons of detergent. I haven’t used any yet (I want to use up the old stuff before I do), but I’ve heard it works well. I didn’t add any scent to mine, because the smell of the Fels Naptha soap is kind of pleasant.



Foods which I have recently made:

Lemon Crisps. They’re like small lemon sugar cookies. They’re supposed to be round, but the whole “roll dough into a tube, refrigerate for three hours, then cut into nice neat thin round cookies” is apparently beyond my skill set. They were good, despite their odd shapes, with a very light lemon flavor. I had thought that they’d be crispy, considering the name, but they were soft. Maybe I did it wrong, I don’t know, but in any case they were damn good.

Sweet Potato-Pecan Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting. These were very reminiscent of carrot cake (maybe because of the cinnamon and nutmeg). I liked them, but Fred LOVED them, declaring the recipe a “keeper”. The pigs also gave them two grunts up. (What? The recipe made two dozen cupcakes. We can’t eat two dozen cupcakes by ourselves, so the pigs – as usual – benefit.)

Also, the three-squash salad I referenced above was really good – I’d probably add a handful of lightly steamed green beans next time – though as I also mentioned, my digestive system wasn’t a fan. Stupid digestive system.



It was with great joy (NOT) that we realized, Thursday evening, that Kara had gone into heat. How, you ask, did we know such a thing? Well, if the super-friendly rolling around and purring wasn’t a clue (she’s always been, after all, a friendly girl), and the yowling didn’t clue us in, the fact that any time we touched her anywhere near her tail she crouched down and presented her back end was what made us realize what was going on.

I think you can bet that by bedtime Thursday I was kicking myself for not taking her to be spayed after her first mini-bout of being in heat a few weeks ago. The yowling of a female cat in need of some attention is ear-piercing, to say the least. I called Friday morning to make an appointment to have her spayed – and made an appointment for the kittens at the same time – and the first available time they had was Wednesday. I went ahead and made the appointment, but told Fred that if Kara got too loud at night, we’d have to set her up in the garage overnight.

Luckily, she’s been settling down at night and not yowling THANK GOD. We’ve taken up the gate at the bottom of the stairs so she can be downstairs with me if she wants, and on Saturday she drove poor Spanky crazy. She’s apparently latched onto the idea that he’s the big stud in the house (poor lonely Momma cat and a houseful of neutered males!) and if she’s in the mood for love and sees him, she’ll flop down in front of him and present her back end. He just looks at her like “I don’t know what you want, but I wish you’d be quiet about it!”


She got going with the yowling and low crawling Sunday afternoon and Tommy (who was laying in a cat bed on my desk) got up and jumped to the floor. Fred said “He’s going to go take care of her!” A minute later, I saw Tommy stomping across the back yard to the patio, looking for some peace and quiet.

Our cats are being remarkably patient with her – there have been some dustups, but interestingly they only happen when one of our cats ventures upstairs during the day when Kara and her kittens are out of the foster room. On Friday I was in the kitchen and heard a loud noise, Miz Poo came flying by all puffed up, and I went upstairs to see Kara all puffed up and sending hate rays toward the stairs. It appears that Miz Poo had gotten too close to a baby, and Kara had to show her that that was NOT okay. Saturday she went after Mister Boogers and scared the shit out of him.

He’s not as badass as he’d like to think, apparently.

So anyway, Kara and the kittens are going to be spayed and neutered on Wednesday (welcome to Crooked Acres, Nance and Trey! Here, listen to a cat in heat! Accompany me to the vet first thing Wednesday morning! Do we know how to PARTY here, or what?!) and then it’s just a matter of waiting until room opens up at the pet store.

(I’m in no hurry for them to go. For the record!)

They’re still occasionally nursing (if you look by River’s (the gray tabby in the middle) right ear, you’ll see Kaylee’s orange ear sticking up). Because I was curious, I timed them this time to see how long she’d let them nurse before she got up and walked off. 90 seconds is all they got – and I managed to get a ton of pictures of them during those 90 seconds. I always grab the camera when I see them nursing, because I always think it’s going to be the last time!


30DSC02386 30DSC02370 30DSC02343

More kitten pics over at Flickr.






2007: No entry.
2006: Must be ’cause I’m so approachable.
2005: Hobbies.
2004: Fred calls Miz Poo “Musty.”
2003: He sighed. “Because everybody knows that 256 (the total number of pages in the book) is 2 to the 8th, which is 2 to the 6th times two squared, which is 64 times 4, so you should print four blocks of 64 pages.”
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Folks, it’s Dumbass Day.


Hey, Rescue Me fans – did you know that they’re doing short “mini-sodes” to tide us over until the next season starts sometime in 2009? The DVR caught the first one Tuesday night, and we watched it Wednesday. And then I watched it twice yesterday. It’s only a few minutes long, but it’s hilarious. I … Continue reading “6/27/08”

Hey, Rescue Me fans – did you know that they’re doing short “mini-sodes” to tide us over until the next season starts sometime in 2009? The DVR caught the first one Tuesday night, and we watched it Wednesday. And then I watched it twice yesterday. It’s only a few minutes long, but it’s hilarious. I think the best part of the show is when they’re all sitting around the table at the station, shooting the shit. I hope all the “mini-sodes” are this awesome.

If you missed it, you can see it online, here.



I’m currently reading The Broken Window by Jeffery Deaver. I’m about halfway through the book (maybe a little less), and it’s making me a bit paranoid. The book’s about data mining, and it’s kinda freakin’ me out, man.

I don’t know that I can ever think of Lincoln Rhyme as a white man, since Denzel played him in the movie.



But seriously? What do you do with pigs?

You spoil them rotten until they get big-ass, then you slaughter and eat them, of course!



I read about a book called “Blue Eggs and Yellow Tomatoes” and thought about you. Have you seen it? read it?

Nope, I’d never heard of it. According to Amazon, it’s a recipe book. Anyone read it? Do I need it?



I’m sorry if this question has been asked before and I missed the answer, but do you feed the pigs sweets b/c it makes their meat sweeter? Or is it just b/c it fattens them up?

Actually, it’s (c) None of the above. We feed them sweets because they like sweet stuff and it makes them happy when we bring them chocolate. I don’t know if it makes the meat any sweeter (I’d guess “no”), but I’m looking forward to finding out for myself!



I am horrified that you would waste good chocolate on pigs. Then again, you will probably be making your ham sweeter. Feed on.

We might eat one or two of the chocolates from the box as we’re feeding the pigs. But I don’t know about “good chocolate” – it’s not like it’s Godiva!



While watching the pig video, I got to gigglin’. I understand giving the indoor pets snacks (I give them to my pets of course!) But I started wondering how many “farmers” go to give their livestock “snacks?” You guys are the best!

It’s the unspoken rule that any animal who steps onto Crooked Acres must be spoiled rotten for as long as they’re around.



Americauna, black crested golden polish – did you ever think you would know so much about chickens?

No! It’s kind of amazing, really – I didn’t expect to retain as much information about the different breeds as I have.



How do you trim the chicken feathers? Scissors or some exotic chicken feather shears?

I have a pair of nail scissors that I got from a manicure kit that I use only for trimming back chicken feathers. I never expected that I’d ever type those words. I was curious and had to go see if there are any such things as “chicken feather shears”, but Google gave me nothin’.



Have you been using your Ped Egg? My feet are looking a little nasty and I wanted to know if it was worth the money.

I think the Ped Egg is definitely worth the money. I have the tendency to use it for a couple of days in a row, my feet look a little better and less dry and scaly, and then I stop using it until the hideousness of my feet bugs me again. Probably if I used it every day, I’d have lovely feet, but I’m far too lazy to do that.



Robyn, have you seen this

I hadn’t – how cool is that!



Your rant about the side door being locked reminded me of Keith from KATG when he gets mad. “OF COOORSE it’s locked! That’s how I WANTED it! GOOOOD!” (read in a Keith- voice). LOL!

Every time they talk about Keith ranting like that, I laugh my ass off because that is exactly what I do. I don’t know WHY, but bitching and ranting like that always (eventually) makes me feel better.



And you should tell folks your scar is from a magic trick gone tragically wrong.

It goes well with the scars I have on my stomach and on my back from having moles removed. I tell people that I was running from the cops, they shot me, and the bullet went in my stomach and came out the back, but did it stop me? NO. Because that’s EXACTLY how much of a badass I am.



Did you have back fat wings before your LBL and if so, are they improved afterwards?

Yeah, I had back fat before surgery and it’s mostly gone now, because the surgeon reached up and liposuctioned the fat rolls under my shoulder blades. It’s much improved, but I think it’ll look even better next year when I have my upper body done.



Wow Robyn, you’re healing nicely! Just curious… do you enjoy swimming? When I manage to get about 30 more pounds off, I’m looking forward to buying a new swimsuit and a pass to the nearest pool. It’s not my size that’s stopping me from going now. My old swimsuit is beyond worn out and the reward of a new suit combined with the joy of swimming is my motivation.

I do enjoy swimming, but I can’t remember the last time I went swimming! For a few years we swam at a quarry in Madison, but it’s since closed, and we don’t have a pool, we’re not near the ocean, and I have no desire to swim in the nearby lakes or rivers. I think we need a pool. And since we’re not in a subdivision anymore, we could have an above-ground pool and no neighborhood organization to stop us!



My mom had knee replacement surgery a few years back. The sutures thing – get used to it. She pulled sutures out of her skin for a couple of years. She mentioned it to her doctor and he said that it happens to some patients. It’s like your body doesn’t dissolve the sutures like “normal” people. My mom said she is just “too sweet”. Mosquitoes don’t attack my mom either. Do you have problems with mosquitoes biting you? I understand the cool gross thing. She’s pulled them out in front of me several times. She said when the sutures work up to the skin, they act like she has a black head. She would squeeze it to pop the suture through the skin and out comes the tweezers. Hers are normally only about an inch long.

I do occasionally get mosquito bites, but I don’t have a big problem with mosquitoes. I have to say, having sutures pop up and needing to be popped like blackheads, well, it’s gross but it sounds kinda cool, too. I can’t help it, I’m a popper!

So since the pet store had a bunch of kittens, sounds like you will get to keep custody of the young’ns a lil longer. I was starting to worry. I figure they will be going to the vet very soon and then off to the store for adoption. I’m sure you are willing to hold on to the kittens a little while longer! I cannot figure out why Kara is still so protective of her babies. You think she’d want to get them out of her “fur” for awhile. Are they still nursing?

The kittens and Kara are going to go to be spayed and neutered the week after July 4th. After that’s done, once there’s room at the pet store, they’ll be going. I expect that the kittens will be going before Kara, and that Kara will be hanging out here for a while. Hopefully, we’ll be able to get her socialized around other cats before space is available at the pet store.

I think it’s mostly habit that has Kara still so protective of her babies.

The babies had a long nursing session earlier this week. What happens most often lately is that they see Kara laying there, they go over and start sniffing around, sometimes they even get a moment or two of nursing in, and then Kara gets up and walks off.




My best friend and I are taking our kids (mine’s 9, hers are 7 and 6) to the Smoky Mountains for a few days. We know we are going to spend some time at Dollywood, but we’d like to do something in Gatlinburg, too. Since you’ve been there 30 gazillion times: What are the MUST see things in Gatlinburg? ARE there any must see things there? Or is it one of those places where just walking around for a day will do? Looks like there are a metric shit ton of Ripley’s-related things!

I’m going to cut and paste from an email I’ve sent out so that I don’t have to strain my brain to remember all this stuff.

I have no idea if this sort of thing interests you, but Zorbing has come to Pigeon Forge, and I’ve already told Fred that if he doesn’t take me Zorbing in Pigeon Forge this summer, I will go there ALONE, because it looks like the coolest thing on earth.

I always recommend that everyone take a day, go into Gatlinburg, park off the main strip, and just walk the entire strip from one end to the other. There are a billion little shops – if there’s something you want, chances are good you’ll be able to find it in one of those little shops. Also, the people-watching is really good!

Places we always, always eat in Gatlinburg are:

The Alamo (we usually go to the one in Pigeon Forge, though, I don’t know why. If you’re looking to drink with dinner (or lunch), you’ll want to go to the one in Gatlinburg, since Pigeon Forge is a dry… city? County? Whatever, they don’t serve alcohol in PF. Or they didn’t the last time I noticed; that may have changed.)

Blaine’s Grill and Bar (on the strip in Gatlinburg)

Bennett Pit BBQ (really good BBQ!)

That’s about it, actually – we try to try out one new restaurant every time we go, but the three I mentioned are our favorites. We usually eat lunch at a restaurant, then get a pizza or sandwiches in the evening because the restaurants tend to be busier in the evening.

Oh! When I was in the area at Christmas a couple of years ago, we had lunch at a Japanese Steak house in Pigeon Forge and it was REALLY good. I can’t remember the name of it, but it’s on the main strip in Pigeon Forge (if you’re in Pigeon Forge headed toward Gatlinburg, it’s on the right side); I highly recommend it.

And a word of advice – if you’re going to eat breakfast, stick to Pigeon Forge and hit one of the pancake houses there (or one of the Cracker Barrels!). There aren’t as many in Gatlinburg, and they always have long, long lines.

Places to visit, off the top of my head – Gatlinburg has a nice aquarium; we’ve been there a couple of times, and enjoyed ourselves even when we didn’t have a kid with us. If you’re up for hiking, the Smoky Mountain National Forest has a lot of nice hikes (though I’ve really only done one, the Laurel Falls hike). If you’re just up for a pretty drive, the drive through the National Forest and into Cherokee is gorgeous on a nice day and there are lots of little waterfalls you can see from the road. Also, the Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail is absolutely gorgeous. I’ve got a thing for waterfalls, and this drive has a ton of them.

Pigeon Forge has plenty of shopping, and they have the Smoky Mountain Cat House and Smoky Mountain Dog House near the Old Mill. We like to visit HHI (totally cheesy) and then walk back to the shops around the Mill, then cut across the street to the Cat and Dog houses.

While you’re in Gatlinburg, if they’re running the ski lift to the top of the mountain (and you’re not scared of heights), it’s totally worth the price; the scenery is breathtaking. And so is the view from the Space Needle in the middle of downtown Gatlinburg.

Okay, that’s all I’m thinking of off the top of my head. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, but those are the high points. It’s been more than a year since I’ve been to the area, and I’m really starting to miss it!

We’ve never been to any of the shows, but I understand they’re good in a kind of hokey way. If you go to one and like it, let me know so I can keep it in mind for the next trip!

Also, Kinzie added:

Been going there all my life. The kids will likely enjoy the rock shops. There are a ton of toy stores and knick-knack places. Pancake Pantry has the Best. Food. Ever. (I recommend the Continental French Toast and the Banana-Pineapple Triumph. INDEED.) and you get to watch them make taffy and candy apples next door while you wait in line. Get some cinnamon bread from The Donut Friar in The Village while you’re there. Go to Ober Gatlinburg and ride the Alpine Slide (3x should be plenty for the kids – maybe just one). There is a lot of people-watching to be done in the evenings on the main strip, if you’re into that. Keep an eye out for magic stores and the like. Indoor mini-golf is fun. And Pigeon Forge has a ton of outdoor places with go-carts and water slides and so forth.

GOD, I WANT TO GO TO GATLINBURG!!!!! Can’t the pigs and chickens and cats take care of themselves?!



Are you trying to lose more weight or just maintain?

I’m pretty happy at this size, so I plan to just maintain.



Will Kara be returned to the shelter along with the kittens?

She’ll be going to the pet store to be adopted, but she’ll probably stay here for a while longer. Hopefully she’ll chill out a little and be a little less feisty with our cats.



There used to be an Amish colony close by and every year they had a big fall festival and sold all sorts of things. I looked forward to going. They weren’t real friendly people, but that was their way. I don’t believe they would hurt anybody.

Yeah, the Amish are known to be very peaceful. I don’t think they’d hurt us, they’re just intimidating. It’s the lack of smiling, I guess. I really think they’re just very reserved and a little shy. Also, I worry about inadvertently offending them so I always make Fred deal with them – and they scare him a little, too. The unknown frightens us both. We are big scaredy-cats, have I mentioned?



Whatcha gonna do with all that junk

All that junk inside your trunk?????????

heh…just kidding! You look really great; and I’ve gotta say, that is a nice ass! Whenever I lose weight, mine just gets flatter and flatter. I got no junk, no junk, no junk inside my trunk…

I’m gonna get get get get you drunk, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump. Etc.

Damn you for putting that song in my head! I’ve been singing Baby Got Back (because I just saw the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel sing it to Emma to make her laugh), and it adapts nicely to a song I can sing to the cats (“I like THAT BOOG and I cannot lie, you other kitties can’t DENY, that when a cat stalks in with an itty bitty hate and a little stump in your FACE, you get HISSY!” and then it kind of breaks down from there, shaddup). But then, I suppose that My Hump, given that “hump” and “stump” rhyme, won’t be a difficult adaptation, either.

I have to say, I don’t think my butt looks bad. It probably helps that I started out with a bubble butt, so I didn’t end up with the dreaded flat ass that people have the tendency to develop after a lower body lift.

Annnnd let’s move on from my ass, shall we?



I’m not a perv or anything (yeah right) but can we see a picture of yer can/tush/butt full on please? I’m curious to know if the ass matches the tummy!

No, I think you guys have seen about as much of my ass as you’re going to. 🙂



Hope there’s time to get this in for the Friday questions: Any ideas on what would cause a ~4 month old kitten to suddenly revert back to nursing behavior? We got Cassie at the beginning of May; she was listed as being 8 weeks and 3 (2?) days when we got her. She never exhibited any nursing behavior at all (except occasional kneading, which all my cats do).

In the last four days, I’ve noticed her being VERY aggressive in attempts to nurse on one particular pillow I have (it’s got a “furry” cover), to the point that I have to shoo her off of it because she’s biting into it and trying to rip the cover off. My first thoughts were that she was losing kitten-teeth and was just looking for something to teethe on, but the more I watch her, it seems like she’s trying to nurse and gets frustrated and starts biting and tearing at it as a result of frustration.

Yesterday and today, I noticed that she has been trying to nurse on the two more tolerant older cats – both male, and not appreciative of her efforts, to say the least. I had to break up a fight this afternoon when Packer finally lost his temper and whapped the crap out of her for several minutes – but Cassie still wouldn’t leave him alone. (Bill has hissed and spat at her a few times, but otherwise just keeps moving out of her way, and Lord help her if she ever tries it on Mr.T.)

Any ideas as to why, after nearly two months, she’s suddenly decided she wants to nurse again? And how I can redirect her to keep her from getting her ass kicked? Based on how viciously she bites, chews, and pulls on the pillow in between attempts to suckle, I can understand the older cats not putting up with her, but I don’t want her to get her ass kicked all the time. I don’t want to have to separate them, either, though, so… Suggestions?

I don’t know what would cause her to suddenly start trying to nurse again (maybe a reader will have some words of wisdom?), but I can tell you that of the nursing kittens I’ve had in the past, they all really like to go for the faux sheepskin beds we have all over the place, like this one. I’ve also heard that they really like anything made of wool. It’s certainly worth a try!



Kittens are doing fine. Kara, on the other hand, is about to drive me batty. She wants the hell OUT of the upstairs, she wants IN the rest of the house, so she sits at the bottom of the stairs and howls. She has a VERY piercing meow. I blame this on Fred, who lets her out for a trip around the downstairs every time she meows. Damn him. We let her out of the upstairs last night, and there were some tense moments, but she stayed out for a few hours, and no one died. Progress!

The kittens, cute as ever. Here they are in the second part of their “9 week old kittens” video. Now that they’re 10 weeks old!

And here they are in MPG format.

What a difference 10 weeks makes, huh?





Lots of cute kitten pics uploaded over at Flickr today.



Newt keeps an eye on things.



2007: Is it just me, or do these look like weirdly posed scenes, like something you’d see in the JC Penney catalog? I imagine a photographer yelling “Frick! You WANT him, you want him with every feather on your body, but Sugarbutt! You don’t even notice Frick, you’re just standing there being beautiful. Be beautiful, Sugarbutt! Be beautiful and feisty and unattainable, and Frick! Want him! Want him badly, but sadly, knowing that you can never have someone that beautiful. He’s out of your league! PERFECT!”
2006: The meals sucked, but we got t-shirts that were pretty cute, so I guess it all worked out.
2005: Can I sue for emotional distress?
2004: No entry.
2003: I never said I had a long attention span.
2002: You can imagine the zany situations.
2001: No entry.
2000: Beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose.


So, I had my five-week follow up visit with the plastic surgeon yesterday. They took some “after” pictures, and then the nurse inspected my incision and found a few stitches (which were supposed to dissolve) that had worked their way to the surface of the incision. I’d noticed them recently (they just look like little … Continue reading “6-26-08”

So, I had my five-week follow up visit with the plastic surgeon yesterday. They took some “after” pictures, and then the nurse inspected my incision and found a few stitches (which were supposed to dissolve) that had worked their way to the surface of the incision. I’d noticed them recently (they just look like little pieces of string sticking out, nothing painful I ASSURE YOU, you big babies. You think I don’t see you there with the “Ewww” face on right now?) and so she got her tweezers and pulled them out. They were mostly just little pieces of string (and I couldn’t feel her pulling them out), but she showed me one that she got from my back, and it was about an inch long. I was impressed that she’d pulled that out and I hadn’t felt it!

And THEN, the surgeon came in and looked me over and cleared me for regular activity (though I need to work up to lifting stuff slowly) and he checked out my incision and we looked at my “before” pictures, and he told me that he was pleased with my results, and asked if I was. I assured him that I was very happy, then we discussed the “scar massage” I’m to begin immediately.

Scar massage, basically, is where you use unscented lotion, put it on the tip of your finger, and rub firmly along the scar line. It breaks up and softens the scar ridge under the incision line. They gave me a sample of Mederma and a sample of Eucerin. I picked up a tube of Mederma at Target, and apparently you can use it on old scars. I’m going to do an experiment on the scar on my stomach – the one where I had a mole removed several years ago – and see if it really makes any difference in the appearance of the scar over the next few months. I mean, I don’t really care how dark my scars are, I’m not going to be exposing my scars in public or anything, it’s just a matter of curiosity.

As the surgeon looked at my incision line, he pointed out a scabby area to the nurse and said he thought there might be some “suture material” there and asked her to take a look. He told me to come back at the 9-month mark, and left the room. The nurse had me lean back, and she got her tweezers out, and she started pulling on the scabs (there were two small ones) and we were both like “No, just looks like scabs…” and THEN this three-inch long piece of suture came out, and I was like “OOH, GROSS!” and the nurse said “Are you okay?” and I said “Yeah, I meant gross in a cool way!”

You weren’t eating, were you?

So ANYway, I asked about my binder, and she said that I could start weaning myself off the binder usage slowly, that if I suddenly started going without, it would put a lot of stress on my abdomen and would hurt. After my shower this morning, I’m going to go without the binder for a few hours and see how it goes. I do have a couple of Flexees “Waist-shaper panties” that I might wear for a while, too. We’ll see, I’ll play it by ear. Or by abs. HA.

The nurse said, “So are there any clothes you’re fitting into that you weren’t able to fit into before?” and I told her the story of my size medium shorts from Wal-Mart, and then I said “Actually, this t-shirt I’m wearing, I used to try it on and wouldn’t wear it because it was tight on my stomach, but when I was looking for something to wear this morning, I decided to give it a try!”

And she gave me a high five. Heh.

Here’s me in my Wal-Mart shorts and size L t-shirt (you can’t see the front, but there’s a pink flower, and it says “Maine” below it). I am fully aware that y’all are going to tell me that the shirt is too big, but what you need to keep in mind is SHUT UP. I didn’t go out and buy it, it was in my closet, and a smaller size would have shorter sleeves and in such a case y’all would be looking at my upper arms and no one needs to see that. Trust me.




This past weekend, Fred decided he was caught up on his chores around the place, and he walked inside a little after 11:00 and announced “It would take very little to convince me to drive up to Lawrenceburg. I don’t want to work outside anymore, it’s too damn hot out there.”

“You know what I was thinking?” I said.


“We should drive up to Lawrenceburg!”

And so we did. I mentioned that I wished that we could trust his truck to get us up there, because there are a few areas in the house where I’d like to put simple tables, and the Amish furniture I’ve seen has been the kind of stuff that would work perfectly. This apparently put the idea in his head that he should get a new truck (something he’s been talking about on and off recently), and so we drove through Closeville and eyeballed some trucks before we headed for Tennessee.

We were both starving to death by the time we got to Amish country, so we stopped at The Brass Lantern in Lawrenceburg, and we had the BEST burgers on earth. When we went into the restaurant, they seated us at a small table with four chairs. I had the utter nerve and gall to sit on the side next to Fred instead of across from him, and we were sitting there looking at our menus and my arm brushed against his and he said “You’re all up in my space, aren’t you?” and I said “Well, do you want me to move?” AND HE SAID “Do you mind?” So I called him a princess and got up and flounced to the other side of the table and apparently the people sitting behind us got a kick out of that.

Did I mention we had the best burgers ever? SO GOOD. I ate the other half of mine for dinner that night, and it was just as good reheated. NOM.

I tried to convince Fred we need one of these for the tree in the front yard. He wouldn’t go for it. Hmph.

Then we got in the car and headed for the Amish community. We passed about 10,000 used car lots on the way, stopped at a produce store to buy a few things, drove through the Amish community without stopping (the Amish peoples are so scary and flat-gazed and unsmiling that we rarely ever stop to buy anything, because we’re great big scaredy-cats) and then we stopped at a furniture gallery to look at the tables. I didn’t really see anything that was perfect (though I did point out a table to Fred, and he said “I could build something like that!”, so I snapped a picture of it. We’ll see if there’s any actual building done in the future. I AM SKEPTICAL.)


We stopped and looked at another zillion and thirty trucks (I suspect you can imagine just how interested I am in the whole truck hunt. PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP.), and then we went to the R3d T0p B@rgain B@rn, which is this, well, barn that’s crammed full of cheap crap. Imagine Big Lots, only not as classy. We stopped there because Fred likes to buy cable ties there; they’re apparently better than the ones he got at Big Lots.

As he checked out, the lady running the cash register looked at his shirt and laughed and pointed it out to the other woman working there.

“I like his shirt!” she said. “‘That’s what she SAID!'”

(Side note: Fred sent me an email the week before last with this link. Since I thought it was a t-shirt he needed (not that he really needs any more t-shirts, but y’know.), I ordered it. I also got him this one while I was at it.)

When we went out to the car, Fred said “I wanted to say, ‘That’s not what it says! It says That’s what SHE said!'”

We were headed back to the highway, cutting down a shortcut, when I saw a small animal by the side of the road, and then looked closer, and lost my shit.

“Stop the car! Stop the car! STOP THE CAR!” I yelled. I swear to god, Fred moseyed down the road for three miles before slowly coming to stop. “Turn around! Go back! THAT WAS A KITTEN!” He finally turned around, but he wouldn’t stop where the kitten STILL was because it was on a blind curve or something that he TOTALLY MADE UP and eventually he pulled over and I got out of the car while he was still slowly slowly SLOWLY coming to a stop.

The kitten, naturally, was no longer by the side of the road (I should note here that it didn’t seem to be hurt, was moving around just fine, but I didn’t think a kitten who appeared to be about the size of our fosters should be wandering around next to a road where the traffic moves pretty quickly) and I searched around in the brush and called for it. I could hear something moving off in the distance and when I called out, an adult cat meowed back at me, but after ten or fifteen minutes of searching I couldn’t find anything and Fred made me give up.

“You were like Arnie in Christine when he sees the car,” he said, then mocked me. “‘STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!'”


We stopped at the Bodenham General Store, which is our favorite store in Tennessee, and bought a few things, then headed home.

Sunday, since Fred still had that bug firmly up his butt about needing a new truck, he finished up what he’d wanted to get done outside and then asked if I wanted to drive into Huntsville to look at trucks. Since I had nothing pressing to do, I agreed, and we headed out.

I made him stop at the pet store so we could buy some cat food, and I looked at the cats in the pet room and holy COW there are a lot of kittens right now.

“I don’t know. It matches my collar, but it sure does use a lot of gas…”

We drove through the parking lot of a bunch of dealerships, but a lot of them were closed and Fred got annoyed and decided we should head home, but on the way home there was this used car dealership with a nice-looking truck out front. Fred checked it out and we eventually took it for a drive. When we got back to the lot, the salesman was sitting on the front porch of the house (it was originally a house, was a “Candle Cottage” for a few years, and now it’s the office for a used car dealership). I hate everything that goes along with the process of buying a car, so Fred went up to talk to the guy, and I went to wait in the car.

Fred got in the car (which surprised me, I thought for sure he was going to end up buying the truck.) and I said “I don’t like him. He looks like a douchebag.”

“Oh, he is.”

(Fred wrote more about it over on his site.)

So we ended the weekend without a new truck which surprised me, really. We did go up into Closeville earlier this week to look at a truck Fred had seen, but he decided it was more than we want to spend. He’s made noises, since then, that we don’t NEED a new truck and it’s foolish to spend money on something like that that we don’t NEED, but I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling. We’re going to end up with a truck, believe me. He’s a man on a mission.



Fred has taken to picking up Kara and walking around the downstairs with her. Yesterday, he let her out into the downstairs hallway so she could walk around. Miz Poo was in the vicinity. Kara sniffed around and then rubbed on Miz Poo, and then she apparently realized she was rubbing on Miz Poo, and started a smackdown.

Poor Miz Poo.

So Kara has decided that she’d like the freedom of having the run of the whole house, pls, and so she sits at the bottom of the stairs and occasionally howls and I blame Fred for this annoying turn of events. If I could trust that she wouldn’t kill any of the cats who looked sideways at her kittens, I’d be more inclined to let her run free. As it is, for now she’ll get short periods of freedom.


There are a bunch of really good kitten pics uploaded today over at Flickr.

26DSC00617 26DSC00616 26DSC00609 26DSC00607



“I am Suggie J. Sugarton, and I disapprove this message.”



2007: I figure it’s the goddamn circle of life and all that.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: I know I did the same lazy-ass, stupid-ass shit, and in retrospect she didn’t beat me nearly enough.
2002: Fred: Hey. You’re married to an old white man.
2001: No entry.
2000: I’m having a klutzy day.


I have to confess that my taking Monday and Tuesday off from updating the journal was due less to the fact that I needed time away from the computer and more the fact that the “available space” percentage on the DVR dropped down to single digits. So I had to get some TV watched. I … Continue reading “6-25-08”

I have to confess that my taking Monday and Tuesday off from updating the journal was due less to the fact that I needed time away from the computer and more the fact that the “available space” percentage on the DVR dropped down to single digits. So I had to get some TV watched.

I know, I’m lame. But you’ve gotta have priorities!

I cleared off enough stuff so that there’s more than 30% space on the DVR now, which gives us some breathing room. It helped that I went through the THIRTY-SIX episodes of Roseanne I’d taped (don’t judge me, I love the hell out of that show) and deleted the ones I don’t want to see.

So, I’m back! Woohoo! And in lieu of a texty entry, I provide for you some of the sights (and sounds!) from around Crooked Acres.

You lucky fools.



Every evening at dusk (which is around 8:00 right now), Fred and I go outside to close up the chicken coops. After, we walk out to the pig yard, and we give those damn pigs a snack. Lately, we’ve been feeding them several chocolates from an assorted box of milk chocolates we bought at the Russell Stover store (four 12-ounce boxes for less than ten bucks!). Those pigs LOVE them some chocolate. I finally remembered to bring the camera out with me one evening and made a movie. In this one, we (Fred) are feeding them those cream-filled chocolate eggs. Which were a hit. Most food items are a hit with the pigs, really. I find that I yammer a LOT (newsflash: standing by a pig yard: stinky! I know, I was shocked too!), so you might want to turn off your sound so you don’t have to listen to me babbling.

See it here in mpg format.

The Wisteria is abloom.

Cucumber plants, very happy. I’ve already made five pints of dill pickles, and we’re only getting started!

Squash plants, also very happy.

I love it when one of life’s little mysteries is solved. Remember a few months ago when I couldn’t find that bottle of Feliway and I looked EVERYWHERE and was completely mystified? There it is, under the secretaire in the dining room, with a bunch of cat toys. I wonder how it got there, CATS.

Outside the window over my desk, a spider has set up shop. She catches at least one big bug every day. A week and a half ago, three egg sacs appeared. I check every day, but no baby spiders yet. Every now and again, a little red spider visits. I don’t know if it’s the daddy spider or just a friend dropping by for bug guts. The mother spider never fights it off, though, and sometimes the little red spider helps clean out the web.


Mayfly, maybe? Whatever it is, it was living on one of the clothespins and wasn’t inclined to move, so I left it alone.

Maxi followed us into the chicken yard the other day and flopped down in one of their dust bath holes. The toddlers approached curiously, unafraid of her. They made her a little nervous, though.

Charlie and her twisted little toes. Poor thing – but she’s growing and thriving, so I guess she’s okay.

One of the white-crested black polish chickens. The poor damn things can’t see a thing, so I trimmed back the feathers. A whole new world opened up to them!


Some of the toddlers like to roost on these blocks.

Toddlers taking dust baths.

This one’s kind of neat – mostly black, with a patch of Americauna-like coloring on her/ his chest.

Black-crested golden polish, after I trimmed some of the feathers back. She was so calm while I did it, didn’t fight at all. Maybe she knew we were trying to help her?

Good ol’ Frick, taking a dust bath.

I don’t even want to know what Maxi’s thinking, here. Probably “Dinner!”

You see a recipe for Mississippi Mud Cookies that are basically chocolate cookies with milk chocolate chips, pecans, and mini marshmallows. You think “How could that possibly be anything but fabulous!”, right? I made them on Friday and was completely underwhelmed. I don’t know what was lacking, they were just kind of bland. We each ate a couple (the second one to make sure the first impression was right, of course) then fed the rest to the pigs. The pigs liked them a lot, especially the big one.

I came across this recipe for Pineapple Upside-Down Skillet Cake on the Razor Family Farms blog a few weeks ago. I printed it out, and decided on Friday to make it. I was really looking forward to it, but guess what I didn’t take into account? I don’t like pineapple, unless you’re talking about fresh chunks of pineapple in a dish. Duh. Fred liked it okay, but says that next time he’d prefer it if I used light brown sugar instead of dark. WHATEVS. Also, this picture illustrates why I am not a professional photographer. Could I have made it look any less appetizing?



Kara and the monkeys are enjoying having the run of the upstairs all day long. Inara figured out how to climb over the gates (I was only putting the one across the top when I left the house; otherwise I just had two up with a gap at the top) so we’ve gone to keeping all three gates up during the day. Kara will occasionally come to the bottom of the stairs and check out the situation. Sometimes she just meows at whatever cat is there, and sometimes she hisses and flies at the gate. Fred has taken to, every now and then, picking her up and carrying her around the downstairs. So far she’s calm as long as he’s holding her, but I’m waiting for the time when she catches sight of the wrong cat at the wrong time and leaves tracks up one side of Fred’s face.

I made a movie of the kittens at 9 weeks old – well, I made two of them, I’ll post the other one on Friday. This one is what they’re like when they’re relatively calm.

See it here in MPG format.

Kaylee would like you to know it’s a rough, rough life.

Lots more kitten pics over at Flickr.



“Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”



2007: Three times in the course of an hour, the same conversation, word-for-word, I swear it.
2006: No entry.
2005: I’d say this country is going to hell, but that handbasket sailed a loooooong time ago.
2004: Yes. Robyn DID recently learn how to do popup windows. Why do you ask?
2003: Do I LOOK like an outside kinda gal?
2002: Which is when I realized that I’d actually dreamed the conversation and hug and kiss.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.


I’m taking an impromptu couple of days off – everything’s fine, I just need a little time away from the computer. I’ll be back on Wednesday as usual. “I’ll make sure she behaves, I PROMISH!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Previously 2007: No entry. 2006: No entry. 2005: I’ll try to drum up some drama for tomorrow, m’kay? … Continue reading “6/23/08”

I’m taking an impromptu couple of days off – everything’s fine, I just need a little time away from the computer.

I’ll be back on Wednesday as usual.

“I’ll make sure she behaves, I PROMISH!”



2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: I’ll try to drum up some drama for tomorrow, m’kay?
2004: (For the record, I do vacuum out there every couple of months…)
2003: A Day in the Life
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: I will be hurting bad tomorrow, though.


Last night for dinner we had green tomato chili, which I made last July and then froze; I thawed it out and cooked it in the crock pot all day yesterday and it was DAMN good, although I forgot to put the cornstarch in three hours before it was finished, so according to Fred it … Continue reading “6-20-08”

Last night for dinner we had green tomato chili, which I made last July and then froze; I thawed it out and cooked it in the crock pot all day yesterday and it was DAMN good, although I forgot to put the cornstarch in three hours before it was finished, so according to Fred it was “kind of watery.” We also had green beans using Pioneer Woman’s Fresh Green Beans One Way, and they were FABULOUS, although we didn’t have a red pepper (and anyways, I don’t like bell peppers) and for some reason the broth didn’t boil away, so there was no caramelization. I don’t know why the broth didn’t boil away, I followed the directions to the letter, but like I said, the beans were really, really good anyway. And we ALSO had yellow squash. Smocha posted in my comments: Slice up the squash …sprinkle your baking sheet with olive oil. Lay all the squash flat, in one layer. Sprinkle the squash with shredded Parmesan cheese and bake for about 20 minutes . That’s what I did, and OH MY GOD SO GOOD. Cooking it so simply really brought out the flavor of the squash. I also sliced up some eggplant, but I sliced them too thinly and they burned. Next time I’ll use the nonstick baking pans ’cause the squash stuck to the pan, but it was fabulous anyway. SO GOOD. Though I used grated parmesan because that’s all we had on hand. Maybe I’ll pick up some shredded this weekend and try again.



Yesterday marked four weeks since my surgery, so I decided it was time to go back to cleaning out the litter boxes. Fred didn’t argue with me at all, since he HATES cleaning the litter boxes. Not only did I clean the litter boxes, I did laundry, I filled bird feeders, I watered the plants on my front porch. I half expected to be achy at bed time, but I was fine, and I slept like a rock, and this morning I continue to be fine. Guess I didn’t overdo it!

I’m still not lifting heavy things, which means that when I wanted to hang Fred’s laundry out on the line, I had to put the wet laundry in a basket, then drag it down the stairs and across the lawn. When it was dry, I took down and put away his laundry in stages so I didn’t have to lift all that laundry at once OR drag the basket through the house.

This weekend I’ll probably give vacuuming a try and give the Roomba a break. I’m on a roll!



My ‘thing’ would be that stuff needs to be put back where it belongs. I HATE looking for something that has been misplaced. In my perfect world, I could lay hands on anything in the house in pitch dark conditions…. but since I live with 3 other people, ain’t gonna happen anytime soon

In theory, my “thing” would be having stuff put back where it belongs, but in reality after I, say, use a pair of scissors I just lay them down wherever I happen to be, and wander off. And then the next day when I’m looking for the scissors that BELONG in my desk drawer, I have a screaming hissy fit because SOMEONE took my scissors and OMG why does NO ONE ever put ANYTHING back where it BELONGS, goddamnit!



Oh And.. I have to speak up for Antibacterial hand sanitizer users. My family uses it a LOT but that’s because my dad is fighting cancer and is on chemotherapy. Hence his immune system is not what it used to be. So.. we’re cautious around him but when I’m at school? LET THE GERMS COMMENCE.

I suppose that’s understandable, though perhaps your father should just man up and kick some germ ass!

I kid.

“Let the germs commence” should totally be my new tagline, dontchathink?



I have to sing the praises of the “Green Bags”. https://www.greenbags.com/ They have really helped my spoiled fruits and vegetables problem. I had a head of iceburg lettuce, which normally gets all “rusty” in about 3 seconds flat, in a green bag for A MONTH and it was still fresh, crisp and not rusty at all. I LOVE ME SOME GREEN BAGS. I haven’t tried them with blueberries, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they helped.

With all the fresh produce you guys have coming from the garden shortly, I bet they’d be a good investment. They can be reused several times by just rinsing them out and letting them dry.

But then…

This is a belated comment about the Green Bags that somebody mentioned a few days ago. I was psyched, so went to the website to order some–ordered 5 sets of 20, at 9.95 a set, plus Shipping and Handling. Which the website said would be 9.95 for an order between $25.01 and $50.00. Had I really been paying attention, I’d have ordered 6 sets, because the website offered free shipping for orders over $50.00. Anyway, I got a confirmation email showing my order, which totaled 49.70, plus P&H of–get this–$34.95!!!! So I called to either get the postage corrected or cancel the order, and the customer service rep said she couldn’t do anything b/c the order wouldn’t be posted for 24 hours, so I’d have to call back. That was Friday. Called back today (weekend phone call said closed until Monday) and found–oh yeah–the order had “already shipped”. Asked to talk to supervisor–who kept me on hold for over 30 minutes while she “checked”. She said the website said it would be $7.75 or some such PER $9.95 order. Turns out the website I used–www.greenbagsstore.com–was not the website her company intended me to use, and they wanted to know where I got the web address. I said it came from a link to a link on a blog, and didn’t give further info. They finally agreed to refund me the difference between the $34 charge and the $9.95 charge I had agreed to, but they weren’t at all contrite. SO I’m posting this here, as an alert to Robyn’s readers, that this company uses deceptive practices and will overcharge like crazy if you order from them. I myself won’t order from them again. Grrrr. Makes me so mad when people take advantage of consumers! Readers–Any ideas about consumer websites I can post this to, to warn other would-be customers?


For Alice: http://sutori.com/

Alice, out of curiosity, how’d you get from greenbags.com to greenbagsstore.com? Did you just remember the name of the product and Google it, or did you click on a link somewhere on greenbags.com that brought you to the other?



Hayden Christensen was also pretty good in “Shattered Glass” if you’re interested.

We actually saw that, and I agree. Fred’s a Hayden hatah, though, and will not be convinced that he might have some acting talent.



Miz Poo is a tortie? Is that tortoise shell? What’s the diff between that and calico???

Elayne beat me to the answer:

Nicole: Calicos have fairly solid, distinct patches of the three colors (“red,” black/brown, and white), while on tortoiseshells the colors are blended, frequently giving a “mottled” appearance, and there is less (or no) white. Most tortoiseshell cats I’ve seen tend to have black, “red,” and a creamy yellow-orange color, rather than any white.

Wiki has a page about the differences.

Like Elayne said, when the colors are “mixed” they’re considered torties; when the colors are mostly distinct from one another, they’re calicos. Miz Poo is, I think, considered a tortie and white. It’s all really kind of confusing!



You can actually make sport of killing the flies

Despite the fact that the web page claims that it poses no risk to pets or humans, does anyone not immediately imagine me zapping myself with that thing? Zapping myself repeatedly, even?



I have a question for your readers…. I have worn out my fave shorts (cotton/lycra blend) that used to be sold at Avenue, and cannot find any plus size cotton/lycra blend shorts anywhere… help! They are the only type that fits nicely and looks halfway decent.

Readers, suggestions?



I also wanted to mention that we have a cat with FIV that can’t be around our other cats, so we have separated our house into two areas. My husband built a sliding gate for our house out of white plastic lattice purchased from Lowes. It works great, looks cute, it is taller than a regular baby gate and it slides open and closed very easily so you can go from one room to the next with out having to take the gates down and put them back up again. And it is not solid like a regular door so the two parts of the house are not sealed from each other.


Something a friend of mine did for her child, which I thought was awesome, was to put a pretty antique style wooden-framed screen door with a latch on an interior door frame. It is brilliant – the room is closed off, but you can still see inside, and air can get through, and it is really easy to get through instead of taking baby gates down.

I originally kind of imagined Fred building something along the lines of a screen door, only instead of permanently mounting it, he could put two hooks on each side of the door so that if I wanted to go upstairs, I could lift it out, step through, then put it back. I like the antique style screen door idea! I don’t know if Fred would go along with that, though, I’ll have to work on him a little.



Hi Robyn, curious minds want to know, why didn’t you return the pillow cases while you were still in the parking lot?

‘Cause I didn’t want to be late for the movie! As it turned out, I had plenty of time and could have returned them, but I always prefer to be early rather than late.



What I don’t understand is white or cream colored pants, especially traveling. I’m always afraid I’m going to sit in something while visiting a tourist attraction or theme park.

I don’t wear white or cream colored ANYTHING, because I am such a slob that the pants or shirt would be stained in ten minutes flat. I’m a dribbler.



I wonder why Shawn felt the need to introduce himself. And man, I hate it when I tell someone “You have the wrong number” and they respond with “Who is this?” HAAAAAAATE. “Who this is” is NOYGDMFB, all YOU need to know is that it is not the person you wanted it to be.

I know I’ve bitched about this before, but I absolutely LOATHE it when someone calls for Fred and I say “He’s not here, may I take a message?”, and then they pause and say “Who’s this?” I always want to yell “It’s the person who answered the phone, what the fuck do you WANT?” I mean, what the fuck? Who do they need to know who it is before they leave a message? GAH.



I have a serious question because I am at my wit’s end with my roommates cat. This cat will not use a litter box, the box is spotlessly clean. However this cat will urinate and defecate on the floor, right in front of you, all the time as IF you’re not even there. My roommates have put her outside on several occasions, the problem and i am not lying…she’s so fat she can’t clean herself. It’s Georgia, it’s hot, she stinks, flies….maggots…it’s GROSS, then they have to clean her.

Her favorite places to go are in the dining room and the kitchen. She use to use the carpet in my room, until I banned her from that area, ripped up and replaced the carpet.

Any ideas? Truth be told, they don’t take very good care of her and I don’t think she’s been to a vet but once in her lifetime.

For her, a trip to the vet, immediately, or (preferably) another home. If she’s never been to the vet and their solution is to put her outside so they don’t have to deal with her, that’s just… ugh. It would be kinder to take her to a shelter than to leave her in that kind of situation.

For you, I say time to move or get new roommates!



I didn’t realize how big the kittens had gotten until I saw that picture of Zoe nursing. OMG they are so big! tell them to stop growing!

I wish they would! They’re HUGE now, especially River, who’s well over 3 pounds. If I could keep them this size and this age forever, you bet I would.



You have a Sony camera. Don’t you love Sony! I just got a new one and man I bet I have taken 5000 pictures.

We’ve always had Sony digital cameras and absolutely love them. We each have a Sony Cybershot DSCP200 (I carry mine around in my purse most of the time), and we share a Sony Alpha A100. Sometimes I prefer the smaller camera because it’s easier to carry around. The big camera takes some awesome pictures, though.

I think it’s about time to upgrade the smaller camera. Just because!



Gael over at Pop Culture junk mail did a blurb about the terrified pickles last week. I’m sure thats what your searcher was looking for.


Huh; until the links to the site with the actual terrified pickles, I would have thought it was a link to this lady who has a fear of pickles.

First of all, I am disappointed to find out that Terrified Pickles is not, in fact, the name of a band. Secondly, that girl in the video? Bless her heart, but man. What a freak! I cannot believe the Maury Povich show is still on. I loved Maury back when he hosted A Current Affair, he was delightfully snarky, but that show of his – man, what a cut-rate piece of shit he’s got going on there.



it’s those pickles you talked about that were the greatest ever. I think I may have seen them in the grocery store soon after that, but they have a sweetness to them and I cannot DO sweet pickles at all. So it’s a name brand, but it’s an odd-flavored pickle. Or something.

Wickles! Those things rock, but when I was visiting Nance, she had a particularly spicy jar of them, and I swear my tongue about burst into flames. Someone sent me a canning recipe that’s supposed to be just like Wickles – I can’t wait to try it out.



I too don’t always wash my hands after using the toilet at home if I haven’t gotten anything on them BUT I will wash my hands every time if I am using a public toilet because who knows what the person before me had on their hands and then flushed the toilet.


#1 is public bathrooms. After I wash my hands there I must open the door with my paper towel.

I don’t use a paper towel to open the door to a public bathroom (my sister does and I always mock her), but I DO wash my hands after using the facilities. And then I’m sure I germ myself back up when I open the door. And then probably I chew on my nails or touch my face and then I am COVERED IN GERMS.

How many of you shuddered and ran for your hand sanitizer after reading that?



any hair anywhere in my hotel room grosses me out

Hair does not gross me out. Is hair particularly germy? I mean, I wouldn’t particularly want to see pubic hairs laying all over the place or anything, but hair from someone’s head doesn’t worry me. Is hair phobia a widespread thing?



I think my only other *thing* is keeping the kitchen clean. I cannot go to bed with dirty dishes piled up.

In the last several months, it’s gotten so that I’m the same way. The last thing I do before bed is make sure the dishwasher is loaded, set to wash in the middle of the night, and the counters are wiped down. I think it’s nice to be able to walk into a clean kitchen the next morning instead of having to immediately start cleaning it.



OK, I guess you’re not as bad as this lady. 😛

I had NO IDEA hedgehogs could swim. That is about the cutest thing on earth.



Why do you have millions of tomatoes? I have 6 tomato plants and maybe a total of 7 tomatoes. WTF??

You’d have to ask Fred, but it probably has something to do with the fact that he’s out there every single day weeding, watering, and sweet-talking every plant in the garden. As far as the assmaters, I bet the fact that they started life in a little plug of chicken poo (ie, fertilizer!) gave them a strong start.



Oh, also …I’m dying to see your new stomach!

If you can handle the still-scabby scar, the stretch marks and the CLEARLY man-made belly button, you’re free to check it out here and here. Oh, and my skin’s so red because I had just taken the binder off. Those are my fancy size 8/10 shorts from Wal-Mart I’m wearing in those pictures, by the way.

(Those two links will pop up windows. If they don’t work for you, you can see the belleh pics here and here.)



The final kitten movie from when they were 6 weeks old! Warning: May cause cavities due to the sheer utter adorable cuteness.

See it here in MPG format.

I love the look on Kaylee’s face like “Oh, UGH. Smells like HUMAN! How can they stand that smell?”

Closeup of nursing NINE WEEK OLD kittens. Momma didn’t put up with it for long.

All four kittens are present and accounted for – if you look behind River (the gray tabby in the middle), you’ll see Kaylee’s legs kicked out. She’s actually underneath him. I have no idea how that can be comfortable, but that’s always been her nursing position.

Oh, and for comparison purposes, here they are at five days old:


Lots more kitten pics over at Flickr. There are several that show off Zoe’s gorgeous stripes especially well.



Miss Momma takes a cue from the chickens and tries out a dust bath for herself. She kinda likes it.



2007: And since it’s still muddy in the garden, no weeding for me again today. Darn!
2006: “Save your breath,” I said, gasping for air. “I don’t believe a word you say, you lying liar.”
2005: “Spot caught a copperhead!”
2004: No entry.
2003: Poor Gram.
2002: Oh, quit with the gasps of horror.
2001: Lynn is very very nice, but as I’ve mentioned, she doesn’t appreciate the beauty of silence.
2000: I was giving out dirty looks left and right, let me tell you.


Would the person who did a site search on “terrified pickles” please tell me what on earth you were looking for? You can leave an anonymous comment, you don’t have to out yourself or anything, I’m just very curious to know what you were hoping to find! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Y’all are some white sheet-having motherfuckers, … Continue reading “6-19-08”

Would the person who did a site search on “terrified pickles” please tell me what on earth you were looking for? You can leave an anonymous comment, you don’t have to out yourself or anything, I’m just very curious to know what you were hoping to find!



Y’all are some white sheet-having motherfuckers, aren’t you? I think I’m going to stick with my blue sheets for the time being, but maybe when they’re old and threadbare, I’ll look into buying some white ones.

I generally go a couple of weeks between sheet-washing. It doesn’t bother me to know that I’m sleeping on dirty sheets – they don’t LOOK dirty, they don’t smell dirty, why wash ’em, right? I wash towels once a week or thereabouts, and as far as I know I don’t walk around stinking. My towel dries completely between uses and I’m CLEAN when I use it, why would I use a new one every day?

(I also don’t have to worry about staining the sheets at certain times of the month since I discovered the Diva Cup, miracle invention.)

Really, when it comes down to it, I’m just kind of all-around nasty. I’m always picking at my face and chewing on my nails and pulling at my hair, and I sometimes don’t wash my hands after I go to the bathroom (because, come on. I do use toilet paper. I rarely get nasty stuff on my hands in the bathroom, and if I do, I wash them. Otherwise, my hands are always dry enough, why dry them out even more with more washing?). I do wear clean clothes every day (though when I work out, I’m known to wear the same shorts and shirt for several days before I wash them) and I can’t wear a bra for more than one day. My boobs get sweaty, okay? I can’t re-wear a bra that’s been sweated in. I CANNOT.

You people who carry around the antiseptic hand shit? You’re breeding bacteria that is going to TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD. I don’t use that shit, and I don’t remember the last time I was sick. I don’t wash fruits and vegetables that come from the grocery store and I’m still standing. That “veggie wash” is a ripoff. Also, I don’t usually put money in my mouth, but I did it lots when I was younger (like, stuck a twenty between my teeth while I was looking for my keys, not put it in my mouth and chewed on it or anything), and I don’t think I ever got sick from it. The idea grosses me out now, though, I have no desire to stick a germ-laden twenty in my mouth.

I do clean out the litter boxes twice a day, though. Well. Before I had surgery I was. Fred’s been cleaning them out twice a day for the last four weeks. As of this morning, I’m back on litter duty, though I’m still not lifting any heavy buckets of clean litter (that’s Fred’s job for at least a while longer). I also change out the dish towels and dish cloth in the kitchen on a daily basis, which is why I have a huge drawer stuffed full of clean dish towels and dish cloths.

Everyone has their “thing” I suppose, whether it’s scrubbing out the toilets daily (I do; the cats drink out of them!) or using that antiseptic shit on their hands 45 times a day.

What’s YOUR “thing”? Tell me about it, you freaks.



The garden is slowly starting to produce. Fred’s bringing yellow and pattypan squash in almost every day, along with rattlesnake green beans. I LOVE the green beans this year – the ones we grew last year were supposed to be stringless, but they weren’t and we ended up not eating very many of them. The rattlesnake green beans are really good raw and even better boiled and served with a sprinkle of salt and pepper. I had raw green beans on my salad at lunch yesterday; pure heaven. I think today at lunch I’m going to go out and pick a handful of green beans and a yellow squash and eat them raw.



There are two tomato plants in the back yard. They’re located exactly where the chicken coop was last year. Basically, chickens ate the tomatoes, shit out the seeds and two plants resulted. Fred staked them up, and they’re loaded with little green cherry tomatoes. We call them the assmater plants, and so far they’ve only provided us with a couple of ripe cherry assmaters (which were DELICIOUS). No tomatoes from the main garden yet; I expect they’ll all get ripe at the same time. I’m waiting impatiently for an influx of tomatoes; considering how much I hated tomatoes as a kid, that still surprises me a little. We got some ripe tomatoes at a nearby farm stand over the weekend; they were flavorless and mealy.

I’ve started freezing stuff, mostly squash, a serving or two of green beans.

Come on, tomatoes and corn – get a move on!

Oh, we haven’t gotten any zucchini yet, either. I made a buttload of zucchini bread last year, then thawed a loaf and tried it a few weeks ago. I didn’t care for it. I won’t do that again this year!

The cucumbers are slowly coming in, too. Fred wants me to make him a jar of dill pickles using the pickling cucumbers. Considering the rate they’re ripening, it might be a few weeks before I have enough cucumbers for that.

Got a favorite summer squash recipe? Feel free to share, I don’t want to get bored with our usual (boiled squash, oven-fried summer squash, sauteed squash and onion, and Aunt Fannie’s Baked Squash)!



Today’s kitten movie is only about a minute long. You’ve got Zoe scratching around to cover something, Kaylee kicking River’s ass while Inara watches, and then Zoe falling asleep. Tomorrow’s movie will be the last one of the kittens at 6 weeks old (they turned 9 weeks old today), so I suppose I’ll need to get to shooting some more footage, before they’re completely grown.

See it here in MPG format.

I finally got to Wal-Mart yesterday to buy a third baby gate. This means that I can leave the house for a longer period of time without worrying that Kara climbed over the baby gates and killed all our cats, or Mister Boogers climbed over the baby gates and went running upstairs all “Let me show you who THE MAN IS, bitches!” and got his ass killed. With three baby gates, I can block the doorway completely.

There have been a few instances of the kittens venturing down the stairs and looking through the baby gates at Miz Poo, who likes to lay at the bottom of the stairs. They’re mostly curious, not really scared, though last night when we were wrangling kittens Kaylee ran out the foster kitten room and came face to face with Tommy; they hissed at each other, and she puffed up to twice her size.

Now that they’re spending so much time hanging out and playing on my bed, when I go upstairs to visit, they’re a little more willing to be cuddled. They’re also a little more willing to bite my face. It’s a fair trade-off.


Such a pretty momma.

More kitten pics over at Flickr.






2007: Since it’s wet outside, I don’t have to weed today. DARN.
2006: I hate that fucker.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Then, I stopped and thought about it, which hurt a little.
2002: I was an errand-running fool today.
2001: You always know you’re going to have a nice, clean system the next day if you’ve eaten you a big ol’ helpin’ of okra.
2000: Oh, that’s right. That was my bright idea.


Yesterday morning I realized at some point that I had no internet. Since our internet provider is also the provider of our home phone service, I picked up the phone. No signal. I picked up my cell phone to call Fred, which is when I found that I’d received a text message the night before … Continue reading “6/18/08”

Yesterday morning I realized at some point that I had no internet. Since our internet provider is also the provider of our home phone service, I picked up the phone. No signal. I picked up my cell phone to call Fred, which is when I found that I’d received a text message the night before from a local number I didn’t recognize.

The message: I love u dearly.

Immediately I decided that it had come from an older gentleman – mid-50s at least, I named him Jasper in my mind – because kids these days don’t use the word “dearly.” They don’t love dearly. They love WTF-ly, OMG-ly, and ROFL-ly, but dearly? No. I imagined a white-haired old man painstakingly picking out the letters, taking 15 minutes to type out his message, sending it and then… nothing. No reply from his dear love. Was he texting his wife, his daughter, a new love?

I immediately typed out That’s very sweet, but you have the wrong number.

No reply. And then, half an hour later, another text from Jasper, asking only Who is this?

I didn’t answer – I was busy with something – and when I hadn’t answered after ten minutes, I got another identical text.

Robyn And3rson, I texted. And decided that, in a novel, this would be the excellent beginning to either a romance or a murder mystery. I hoped Jasper wasn’t too terribly embarrassed that he’d professed his dear love to complete stranger. Maybe he was worried that he’d texted his doctor’s office or an acquaintance. Maybe a poker buddy – MAN they’d be mocking him at the next game, those bastards.

Five minutes later, another text: i guess i do have da wrong nunber. im shawn.

There went my sweet older man theory. Sweet older men do NOT do “da” instead of “the”. At least Jasper doesn’t.



I was taking pictures of the kittens yesterday when I realized I could see myself in the mirror on the closet door. So I snapped a picture to see how my hair REALLY looks. I mean, I can see it in the mirror, but many times I’ve thought I looked okay in the mirror and found out later via picture that I was incorrect.

Eh. Looks okay, I suppose.

I was actually scheduled for a cut and color on the day I ended up having surgery, so I had to cancel the appointment. Which means I’m almost 4 weeks overdue for a cut and color. I bought a couple of boxes of semi-permanent hair color with the idea of using it a few times, letting my hair grow out a little, and then deciding what I wanted to do. Maybe waiting ’til the Fall to go back for a cut and color, you know?

Eh. Looks okay from this angle, I guess. This picture, by the way, looks the most like me to me than almost any picture I’ve ever taken.

And then of course, I had to take a picture with Zoe, who I always call “My Peanut” because she’s so tiny. And from this angle… the hair is messy, but DAMN. What’s up with the lines on that forehead? Did I say I was anti-Botox? Because I’m thinking I might need me some. Also, I am very shiny. Oh well – my Peanut doesn’t care. She just wants me to get that damn camera the hell away from her.



My viewing of the Sex and the City movie makes me ask this: Who the hell uses white bed sheets, and why the hell would you use white sheets instead of colored or patterned? White sheets seem like a pain in the ass (especially considering my cats and their grimy little feet) to wash, they seem like they’d get kind of dingy pretty quickly, and like they’d require a lot of bleach.

Do you use white sheets? And why, for the love of god, when colored sheets will hide stains and grimy cat footprints?

Also regarding Sex and the City, I SO don’t need one of those house-shaped key covers I mentioned in yesterday’s entry – I have a car key, a house key, and a post office box key. They’re all easily distinguishable from each other, so it’s a good thing I wasn’t able to find the key cover when I was looking, because I don’t NEED it. Damn me and my impulse shopping tendencies.



Kitten movie! This one is just of them hanging out. At the end, Zoe sniffs the plate of food Kara is eating, then scratches at the floor to cover it. CUTE. You get to hear someone covering and covering and covering something in the litter box. And the reason I say “Did you come over here to wipe your butt on me?” is because earlier in the day, Kaylee had used the litter box then run over to climb on my leg, thereby wiping her butt on my leg in the process and leaving a streak behind. GROSS.

See it here in MPG format.

I left Kara and the babies out of the foster kitten room all day yesterday – even left for half an hour to take a trip to the recycling center – and no one died. I do need to get another baby gate to make sure the entire doorway at the bottom of the stairs is covered and no one can climb over. I wouldn’t want to see THAT carnage.

Their favorite place to hang out seems to be in my bedroom, whether playing under the bed, chasing each other up the back of the recliner, or napping on my bed. They seem a little more willing to be cuddled these days, as long as I don’t try to do it for too long. They kill me with the cute, these kittens.

Inara and the camera lens cover.

Sleeping Kara.

“Okay, seriously? They’re almost nine weeks old! When does my body become MINE again?!”

Actually, I think Zoe’s 9/10s of the way to being weaned. She didn’t get much nursing in before Kara stood up and went along her way. Also, after eating baby food for the last several days, Zoe has now moved on to eating a mix of baby food and canned food. I think she also may have eaten a few pieces of hard cat food. She’s definitely hungry in the morning and at night when I give them their canned food/ baby food combo, so hopefully she’s ready to get moving on to the crunchy stuff.

More kitten pics over at Flickr.



“Did someone say… KITTENS?”

Hey, look – it’s her majesty a year ago:

I can say that a year after we got her and I believed she was completely feral, I still wouldn’t dare to try to pick her up, but every morning when I go around the house and open the blinds, she’s either sitting on the top of the cat tree in the front room, or on the guest bedroom bed, and she lets me pet her, writhes around and purrs, and grabs my hand when I pull it away. It took us a year to get to this point. Maybe in another year I’ll try picking her up and see how that goes. Then again, maybe I’ll wait more like five years before I try that particular maneuver.



2007: What can I say, they’re cats. This sort of thing doesn’t occur to them.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: All I heard on the other end was laughter.
2003: “Motherfucker. He never told People how he was soooooo in love with me when WE were together!”
2002: A world where smiley faces and “fuckity fuck-fuck-fuck!”s will abound. I can hardly wait!
2001: Why, just this morning I was thinking to myself Why is Ben Affleck stalking and following me dressed like a Frenchman?
2000: No entry.


First things first, I LOVED the Sex and the City movie. All it was, was a super-sized episode of the show with some endings and some beginnings and it was exactly what I expected and hoped for. I actually kind of hate the fact that we know Big’s name now, though. Also, if you’re going … Continue reading “6/17/08”

First things first, I LOVED the Sex and the City movie. All it was, was a super-sized episode of the show with some endings and some beginnings and it was exactly what I expected and hoped for.

I actually kind of hate the fact that we know Big’s name now, though. Also, if you’re going to have a movie hinge on the fact that emails are coming from john@jjpny.com, hello? Should you maybe be sure that there’s a WEB SITE at jjpny.com, maybe? They at least threw something up over at CarrieBradshaw.com.

I adored Jennifer Hudson in this movie.

Almost every time Charlotte came on the screen I teared up because I LOVE CHARLOTTE.

I preferred Carrie’s apartment before the redecoration.

I am astounded that Bag Borrow or Steal is a real thing.

And lastly, they were only shown for a brief instant, but I believe that Carrie had something over the ends of her keys to differentiate them from each other – ie, the key to her apartment had a little house-shaped thingy that slipped over the end of her key. Did anyone else see that, and do you know where I can get that sort of thing? ME WANT.

Someone asked if I watched the show when it was on – I did, I watched every episode. Seeing this movie was like seeing old friends and I loved it. I’m seriously considering going to see it again. I didn’t want it to end.

I was the ONLY one in the movie theater, which makes me think that Monday afternoon matinees might be the way to go from here on out. Maybe I’ll start going to the movies every Monday. Movie Monday! Why not, right?

The only down side is that the friggin’ theater was SO FUCKING COLD. Like 55 degrees. I thought to bring a sweatshirt but didn’t think to bring socks, and I ended up with the sweatshirt pulled down over my knees and alternated tucking my feet up underneath me.



Oh right, the whole bullshit “Samantha gains 15 pounds, the horror!” storyline. Please. And that whole throwaway “Well you’re fabulous of course at any size, Samantha, that goes without saying, but my CHRIST, when you gained the first pound and a half, how were you able to LIVE with yourself?!” line. PLEASE.

That bullshit could have – should have – been cut completely from the movie. Because I’m sorry, who the fuck notices when someone else gains 15 pounds? SERIOUSLY? I assure you, if I see you in real life on any kind of regular basis, I am far too self-involved and concerned about the size of my own ass to notice the size of yours. And I can monitor the size of my own ass quite well, thank you, I don’t need you to monitor it for me. Shove it up your ass, if you don’t mind, CARRIE BRADSHAW.

I can just about guarantee that if you’ve gained less than 50 pounds, I haven’t noticed. And if you’ve gained more than 50 pounds, I might notice there’s something different about you. Maybe you got your hair cut? And even if I did notice that you’ve gained weight, I probably figured that you might have realized it and didn’t need me to point it out SO VERY HELPFULLY to you. I can’t remember one time in my entire life when it was pointed out to me that I was fat that I didn’t want to go on a stabbing rampage.


I figure the size of my ass is my business. If you don’t get to see it unclothed on a regular basis, there’s no way on god’s green earth it can possibly be any goddamn business of yours. (And I recognize the ridiculousness of someone who has written extensively about her own weight saying such a thing. But I share what I choose to share. Or that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.)

To quote Pepper, When my wife’s aunt asked if I had gained weight, I asked her what kind of social rules she lives by that make that question acceptable.



So, I stopped by TJ Maxx on my way to the movies yesterday, because I need a new comforter. I love the one I got from JC Penney a few months ago, but the problem is that I have CATS who are ASSHOLES and their claws get caught in the threads of the comforter and it’s just a big freakin’ mess. So I stopped at TJ Maxx to look for a new one. The new TJ Maxx is in Madison (they closed the one I used to go to in Huntsville near the mall), and I have to say, I liked the old one better. They had a better selection of comforters and bedspreads; now they’ve got nothin’.

From TJ Maxx, I went over to Kohl’s. I needed to pick up some shaping undergarments (after my appointment with the surgeon next week, I get to go from the binder, which is ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF ME because it won’t stay put, to shaping undergarments) and look at the comforters and pick up some sheets for the guest bed. I found a comforter I liked, I found the shaping undergarments I wanted, and I found some sheets.

The total at the register was a bit more than I’d expected, but I paid it and when I went out to the parking lot, I looked at my receipt to see what was up, and I found that the two – TWO – pillow cases I’d bought to go along with the set of sheets I’d bought were THIRTY-FIVE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING DOLLARS. For two pillow cases! What the fuck?!

I actually said that out loud in the parking lot “What the fuck?!” I said, and then was greeted by a disapproving harrumph from an old man sitting in a nearby car. I wanted to say “Go fuck yourself old man, if you’d just paid THIRTY GODDAMN FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS for two pillow cases, you’d be swearing out loud in the parking lot, too!”, but I didn’t. Those pillow cases and sheets will be going back to Kohl’s, believe you me. That’s fucking ridiculous. The pillow cases cost as much as the sheets!


So I went to the movies, and after the movies I went to Sam’s to pick up more packets of Splenda and some other stuff (including the new Lincoln Rhyme and Jack Reacher books, woohoo!), and then I stopped by the post office (I really need to get a PO Box closer to home) and then headed home.

There is a long country road between Madison and Smallville that is the most direct and quickest way to get home. Except that it is a long country road and many times there is farm equipment driving down that long country road. And despite the fact that there’s a lot of commuter traffic going down that long country road at 4:50 on a Monday afternoon, it was apparently deemed a Very Good Idea for some big fucking piece of fucking farm equipment to take a mosey on down that road. I generally drive down that long country road at about 50 miles per hour. Yesterday, I drove the majority of that road at 20 miles per hour. There were 15 cars between the fucking piece of fucking farm equipment and my car, not to mention plenty of traffic coming from the other direction, so there was no passing to be done. I should have turned off and taken the long way home at any number of turnoffs, but I was SO sure that the goddamn farm equipment-driving asshole would either pull over or turn off at any minute that I just kept on chugging along.

It never pulled over or turned off, and I was ready to have a fucking stroke by the time I pulled into my driveway. I parked the car as close to the side stoop as I could, and I got an armload of stuff to carry inside (a light armload, don’t lecture me), and I walked up the steps and reached out to open the door but OF COURSE it was locked. Despite the fact that Fred was home and within view of the house (he was cutting the back forty with the tractor.), he’d locked the side door. I had to juggle the shit I was carrying and unlock the door, and as soon as I stepped over the threshold, everything I was carrying went tumbling to the floor.

I swore a blue streak, threw my keys across the room, and stomped out to get the rest of the shit that needed to come inside. And then I retrieved my keys and parked my car in the driveway in front of the garage.

“Oh OF COURSE the side door would be locked, oh of course, because apparently EVERYONE IN THIS GODDAMN TOWN cannot wait to get INSIDE OUR HOUSE, according to MY HUSBAND, oh they’re DYING to get inside the house and there’s just a LINE of people ready to bust into our house and steal our shit with him right there in clear view of the house! OF COURSE. And I don’t CARE if he spent Sunday cleaning out my side of the garage so I can park in the garage. I DON’T WANT TO PARK IN THE GARAGE AND HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF IF HE WANTS ME TO PARK IN THE GARAGE!”

And then I was putting the stuff I’d bought away and he came in all happy and greeted me and I went off on him and he laughed at me and then we ate dinner and I felt better.

But once the Hate Train gets rolling, it’s hard to bring it into the station and leave it there, so I spent the rest of the evening swearing about pretty much everything, including the fact that Tommy refused to come in at Snackin’! Time! (I went to the back door, all the other cats milling around me excitedly, and I was all “Tommy! Snackin’! Who ready for the snackin’!” and he looked at me and yawned and I yelled “Fine then, fuck you!” and slammed the door shut. And then I was pissed because I always give each cat their snack in a certain spot so they each have enough room and aren’t all up in each others’ shit, and EVERY FUCKING NIGHT they’re all “Where my snack? My snack over here? This must be my snack NOM NOM NOM!” and I have to push Joe Bob away from Sugarbutt and Tommy’s snack and show him where HIS snack is, EVEN THOUGH I DO IT THE SAME EVERY GODDAMN NIGHT, and we always talk about how Spanky is the dumbest cat we’ve ever known, but EVERY NIGHT he waits patiently in his spot for his plate o’ snack while the other fuckheads mill around stupidly.

And then, I don’t know. I hated on credit card companies and banks and what assholes Big Banks and Big Business are (this hatred brought on by a viewing of the first half of Maxed Out) and then we went out to put the chickens up and one of the babies was wandering around making a sad cheeping noise like “I think I’m lost? Hellew? Where my Momma?” and The Cute put me in a good mood, and then we went for a walk around the back forty, stopping to see the pigs, and to feed them some chocolate we bought for them over the weekend at the Russell Stover store* and they were all “You has for us the chocolate to nom?”, and they got all drooly and happy when Fred fed them their chocolate and GODDAMN they stink, but they’re certainly entertaining.

So the day ended up pretty good, which it usually is around here. Just sometimes, you’ve gotta bitch. Y’know?

*Lest you think we only feed those bastards chocolate and cake and crappy food, let me tell you that 9/10ths of what they eat is Pig Chow and vegetables left over from last year’s harvest and leftovers from Fred’s mother and stepfather. But they like chocolate and I like our future food sources to be happy, so what can I say?



Today’s kitten movie is of them playing on that cat toy I got from another shelter volunteer. It came from Target, and they think it’s the best thing EVER.

You can see it here in MPG version.

Over the weekend, Fred started feeling really bad about the fact that Kara and her babies have been stuck in one room (well, one room and a very big closet) for the past eight weeks. We wanted to let them out into the house, but Kara’s still so protective that seeing our cats stresses her out and puts her in fight mode (see: the kicking of Mister Boogers’ ass). So we started brainstorming, and I was all about the idea that we should build something to put at the top of the stairs to prevent our cats from coming upstairs and Kara and her babies from going downstairs, and then I was all about the idea of putting a door at the top of the stairs, and then Fred came up with the most obvious, simplest solution (that wouldn’t require anything permanent to be mounted): baby gates.

After I got groceries on Sunday, I swung by Wal-Mart and made the purchase. When I got home, we tried it out.

To say that it was a hit would be an understatement. The babies LOVED having more room to race around and more things to climb (my bed, the recliner in my room, the bottom shelf of the bookcase; they love to get into the bathtub and chase each other around), and Kara just flat-out loved being out of that damn room. In fact, she was so super friendly and happy that I thought she was going into heat (false alarm, it turned out).

Sunday and yesterday, I let them out for a few hours in the morning and another few hours at night. I would have let them stay out all day yesterday, except that the gates don’t totally cover the doorway and Sunday night Tommy tried to climb them and I was going to be gone for a few hours, and didn’t want to think of the tragedy of Tommy climbing over the gates, going upstairs and getting his ass killed.

Today, I’ll probably let them stay out all day and see how that goes. So far, the pattern seems to be, I let them out, they race around for an hour, and then lay down in various places (my bed being a popular place) and go to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.

After I let them out this morning, I put the Roomba in the foster kitten room and let it do its thing. The girls scattered, but River decided he was the big, strong man and needed to keep an eye on things. From a DISTANCE, that is.

There was so much cat hair embedded in the carpet that I had to empty the dustpan twice before it could finish the room. And it is NOT a big room!

More kitten pics over at Flickr.



Newtie say, “Hellew.”



2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: And I so desperately wanted to say “Did I see? Yes. Do I care? No.”
2004: Ten
2003: I’ve never been the patient sort.
2002: Damn YahooGroups.
2001: No entry.
2000: I’ve always felt that I have a lucky life.


Lisa mentioned in my comments on Friday that your RSS feed through Bloglines hasn’t updated since June 3.. From what I read over the weekend (at Swistle, among other places), Bloglines seems to be having some sort of issue wherein a lot of RSS feeds aren’t updating. So I’m guessing it’s a Bloglines issue, not … Continue reading “6/16/08”

Lisa mentioned in my comments on Friday that your RSS feed through Bloglines hasn’t updated since June 3..

From what I read over the weekend (at Swistle, among other places), Bloglines seems to be having some sort of issue wherein a lot of RSS feeds aren’t updating. So I’m guessing it’s a Bloglines issue, not a Bitchypoo issue – which is a relief, because I’d have NO idea how to fix it if it was my fault.

I myself use Google Reader and haven’t had any problems with it at all. I recommend it!



While having a recent email discussion with someone regarding Botox, I remembered something I’d recently read in a magazine – something that made me laugh out loud – and I had to go look for it to share with y’all.

Making Faces

The first time I got cosmetic injections, my eyebrows dropped down my forehead until I looked like a cave woman. Apparently the dermatologist had injected the wrong muscle group. My coworkers elected a spokesperson to tell me to never do it again. They called me “angry eyes.” I even had to have my company-ID photograph reshot. When I went back to the doctor, he told me I was going to have to wear sunglasses for a month, until the effects wore off.

That’s from Real Simple magazine, the May ’08 issue.

Something about the nickname “Angry Eyes” just makes me laugh and laugh.



Fred had Thursday and Friday off, which gave him a four day weekend. Somehow, those four days just FLEW by. He spent most of Friday and Sunday working outside, but on Saturday after a relaxing morning of cutting up half a tree and hauling it over to the burn pile, he decided to take the rest of the day off. He watched a loud movie, took a nap, hung out with me, we took a drive to buy some tomatoes (since it seems like it’ll be forEVER before ours are ripe), and then he watched another loud movie while I sat in the recliner and read.

We got a buttload of rain on Friday, and I know we needed the rain (and the garden, especially, loved it), but I just hate how muggy it gets after a hard rain. Not to mention, the FLIES seem to triple.

Ugh, the flies. I know I’ve got no damn room to talk about the damn flies, since it should have maybe occurred to me that 49 chickens and two pigs just might attract a fly or two. We don’t get a ton of flies in the house (thank god), and even when we do I can kill them pretty quickly (I’m not terribly skilled with the fly swatter, but I find that flailing around like an idiot, swatting at the fly 130 times will eventually get the job done. I think sometimes the flies feel sorry for me and fly extra slow so I can get them.), but there are just SWARMS of flies over at the chicken yard.

Last year, I bought those bags that come with fly attractant in them. You break the fly attractant open inside the bag, fill the bag with water and hang them, and the flies will be attracted to the, uh, attractant and fly into the bag where they buzz around, get too tired to fly any more, and then drown. I never used them last year, but this year I got annoyed by the huge number of flies so Fred and I got a couple of them out and put one in each chicken coop. They attracted plenty of flies, but a lot of the flies that were attracted didn’t go into the bag, just swarmed around them. Fred finally got annoyed with the bags (and the attractant, which smells like rotting garbage, and the chicken yard smells bad enough as it is thank you, especially when it’s hot and humid out) and took them out of the coop. One of them he tossed on the ground by the fence; the other, he hung from the fence.

Ever since he did that, a couple of chickens started hanging out by the bags, which were always covered in flies, catching and eating flies. At least they’re getting plenty of protein, I suppose. The fly population hasn’t died down any, unfortunately.

I het flies.

Sunday, I went and got groceries and then swung by Wal-Mart, then got home and puttered around the house. I decided to clear out the freezer – I froze a LOT of summer squash last year, and this year’s bounty has started coming in, so I needed to make room. Also, I froze a LOT of okra last year, and this year MY GODDAMN HUSBAND planted TWO rows of the stuff. I like okra, but we do NOT eat enough okra to make it necessary to plant twice as many this year, especially considering how much we have left over from last year.

Anyway, I pulled out the majority of last year’s leftovers, threw half of it in a big pot, and boiled it for a few hours for the pigs. They’ll eat summer squash and okra, but they prefer it cooked. I mean, they’ll EAT the raw stuff, eventually, but it’s grudging and they act like they’re doing us favors.

Spoiled bastards.

I did laundry, I hung out with the kittens, I cleared the pile of crap off my dresser. Just puttered around the house, like I said. I played a LOT of Scrabble on Facebook, and I even managed to get one or two big-point words. That, my friends, is a red-letter day.

Now I think I’m going to take myself to the movies. I’ve been wanting to see Sex and the City, so I’m gonna. I have a few errands to run over in the direction of Huntsville, so I’m going to run them, then go sit in the nice cool theater, eat some popcorn, and make fun of Carrie Bradshaw’s ugly-ass clothes.



New kitten movie! This one is mostly River and Inara (mostly River, really).

Or download it here in mpg format.


More kitten pics over at Flickr.



A moment in the rough, rough, ROUGH life of Master Joseph Robert And3rson.



2007: No entry.
2006: Anatomy of a Snooze
2005: This is the story of how my husband is a fucker.
2004: As you can imagine, I’m in a REALLY good mood.
2003: After much persuasion, he confessed that he’d seen the movie ratings poster on the wall and thought there was going to be a movie about the ratings system.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: When I think about the incredibly stupid things I did as a teen, it makes me cringe.