2003-10-28

check ’em out!

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I was laying in bed reading Life of Pi last night. I put it on my wish list after Pamie said it was good last year. Seriously, that’s all it takes. You say “Hey, this book was pretty good” and I add it to my wish list. That’s how I ended up reading that goddamn Mulvaney book, so sometimes believing what other people say about books gets me in trouble. Of course, if someone rants about how much a book sucks, I tend to buy it, because I foolishly think “Oh, p’shaw. It can’t be THAT bad!” I’m sure some of y’all do that, too, which probably means that I’ve sold an assload of copies of that FUCKING Mulvaney book. I swear, if I ever meet someone who has the last name Mulvaney, my fist will probably fly out and strike them on the chin automatically. But I digress. So I was reading Life of Pi, which isn’t bad so far – neither amazingly good nor horridly bad, and I do want to see what-all happens next – and I was suddenly absolutely dumbstruck, out of the blue, by the fact that I’m going to die. I’m going to DIE. Someday, I’m going to die. I’m going to die, you’re going to die, Fred will die, the spud will die. We’re going to DIE. All of us. Before you point out that 35 is awfully old to come to this striking realization, let me point out that I’ve always known, in a vague sort of way, that we’re all going to die, but it never hit me with such clarity. I stared in the ceiling and thought to myself “One day, I will be laying in bed, and I will know that I’m about to die.” That, of course, is assuming that I don’t die screaming in some horrible car or plane wreck, or am tripped while going down the stairs by Stanley-bean, and break my neck, black out, and die. I was actually shaking with the whole realization that I was going to DIE some day, just laid there and thought about it for a good ten minutes or so. Then I ditched that deep, introspective shit, picked up my book, and kept reading until I was tired.
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This morning I came to yet another realization. You might die someday, but I am going to live forever.
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I tried an experiment this morning. Last night before bed I turned my computer off (we usually keep our computers running all the time), and this morning I wouldn’t let myself turn it back on until I’d exercised and showered. I have the tendency to sit at the computer and put off exercising, which is why lately it’s been noon or later before I get around to taking my shower. Today I sat down in front of the computer having exercised and showered right after 10:00. I would call the experiment a success.
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Speaking of last night, I sat down at the computer to check my mail one last time before bed. I jiggled the mouse to disable the screensaver, and found that SOME BASTARD NAMED FRED had made that creepy fucking picture I linked yesterday my wallpaper. Fucker.
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Look at how close they’re laying to each other! They’re practically cuddling! “MEH!”
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