09/29/2001

So, I had to get groceries this week, ’cause Fred’s doing end-of-year something-or-other at work, and he begged and pleaded (or just asked) me to get groceries, so after insisting on a few sexual favors in return, I agreed to get groceries.

Isn’t it just TYPICAL that after a hard week of sitting on my ass, I have to go get groceries as well?! I swear, my work is NEVER done.

It was odd wandering through the grocery store at 8 in the morning getting a full load of groceries, since I haven’t done it for well over a year. If you’ll recall (if I ever mentioned it, which I’m not sure I did), the reason Fred started getting groceries is because I was spending too much money and doing too much impulse shopping. I’m thrilled to say that except for a few magazines and some film (which I need for my camera for the 3Day, since I don’t quite dare to bring the digital cam and Fred won’t buy me my (this week’s) heart’s desire, the bastard). Being so early, there was only one checkout line open, and two or three people ahead of me. I guess I’m not the only one who wants to get the damn grocery shopping done and over with so they can get on with their busy day of ass-sitting.

As I approached the checkout line, sitting at the end of the line was an abandoned-looking half-full cart with no one standing near it. I looked around, wondering whether I should cut in front of it, or if someone was grabbing a forgotten item and would be back. I stood there looking clueless for a few minutes, and then a woman came running over from the customer service desk, hauling two cartons of cigarettes.

"Sorry!" she chirped, and then started unloading her cart. I smiled, just relieved that I hadn’t cut in front of her. After she unloaded her groceries, she started to make perky conversation with the cashier, and then stopped abruptly to cough up a lung on the conveyer belt. Good thing she was buying those cigarettes, eh?

Man, I’ve been productive this morning. Not only did I put all the groceries away (by MYSELF! The horror!), but I FINALLY helped the spud hang all her pictures and posters up in her room (yes, we HAVE lived here two months now, shaddup). Most of her stuff fit on one wall, except for a few posters which went over her bed. It looks a tad homier in there, now.

I also cleared all the crap out from underneath my keyboard. And took a picture of it all!:

What have we here? Why, a note to myself about the 3Day Day Zero shuttle, a bunch of tracker thingies for packages I’ve mailed, my brand-spankin’-new Costco card (I still haven’t been to Costco, but I have the membership card, Moira!), and my credit card (number conveniently blurred out for you criminal types). And to top it off, a nice little pile of cat hair and dust. Yum!

Oh, I also found this:

A brown peanut M&M. God knows how long it’s been under there – months, probably. Did I dust it off and eat it? You bet your bippies I did. And it was mighty fucking fine.

The problem is that I have no idea how many calories are in a single peanut M&M. I’ll count it as 10; that sounds fair enough.

1. Laying on your back and facing the ceiling, which side of the bed do you sleep on? The left. When Fred and I are laying in bed talking before he goes off to his own room NO LATER THAN 9:41, I lay on the right-hand side. When he goes to his own bed, I walk around to the left side. I sleep better on that side of the bed for some reason. Possibly because I usually sleep on my left side, and have the entire bed to stretch my arm across or something.

2. Do you have to have covers (blankets and/or sheets) at all costs, no matter the weather? Yes, ’cause we have air conditioning, and it’s always around 68 degrees during the night, so a sheet and comforter are required lest I surely freeze to death.

3. Sleep nekkid or no? Why? Butt-ass nekkid is the only way to sleep. I can’t sleep well with a nightgown on, ’cause it gets all twisted under me, and I don’t care for a t-shirt and shorts, either. Which means it’ll be a ton of fun during the 3Day, ’cause of course I’d never subject a stranger to Nekkid Bitchypoo. But then, I’ll be in a sleeping bag on the ground, with a complete stranger as my tentmate, so I’m not expecting to sleep well, at least not the first night.

4. What’s under your bed? Cat hair, and usually a cat or two. And 64,780 ear plugs that I’ve lost in the middle of the night, or the cats have knocked off the bedside table to play with.

5. If you have pets, do you let them sleep with you? Why or why not? Yep, I usually have at least two cats (Miz Poo and Spanky) on the bed with me during the night. Tubby will occasionally sneak up for a snooze some nights. Spot will, once in a blue moon, stand at the edge of the bed and stare at me for a while before curling up. I have no idea where Fancypants spends his nights, though. Why? Because I love my kitties, and if I shut them out of the room Miz Poo would be heartbroken. And Spanky would sit outside the door and howl like a fool all night long.

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