4/27/09

George and Gracie lovers, pictures (and a short video!) will be up tomorrow. dividerlineissohappytobebackdividerlinewasboredonvacationdividerlinelovesyousooooo   Anita sent me the link to this page, and it cracks me UP. dividerlineissohappytobebackdividerlinewasboredonvacationdividerlinelovesyousooooo   You know what annoys the shit out of me? When I am required to call a company to cancel my account. When I signed up … Continue reading “4/27/09”

George and Gracie lovers, pictures (and a short video!) will be up tomorrow.

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Anita sent me the link to this page, and it cracks me UP.

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You know what annoys the shit out of me? When I am required to call a company to cancel my account. When I signed up for Stamps.com back in 2000, did I have to call to sign up with them? Why, no. No, I didn’t. I was able to sign up right on the computer, never had to talk to a living person even once.

Last Friday when I was balancing the checkbook, I realized I was still paying $15.99 per month for the privilege of printing out postage online, and that’s ridiculous. Know what? When you print out postage at USPS.com, it costs less than when you print out postage at Stamps.com. As an example: if I send a 3 pound 2 ounce package to my sister via Priority mail, it costs 66 cents less if I print out the postage at USPS.com than if I use Stamps.com or took the package to the post office. Granted, 66 cents isn’t SUCH a big difference, but it adds up.

So I was paying $15.99 a month PLUS full price for postage – and I suspect that Stamps.com pays the lower price and pockets the difference. Which, I know, they’re a company and they’re in it to make a profit, but I DON’T LIKE IT.

I tried to cancel my account online, but apparently it is not possible to cancel your Stamps.com account online “due to security and privacy concerns.” MY ASS. I note that they were never all that concerned about my security or my privacy at any point in the past nine years of my account.

I got all fired up and called the customer service number, ready to be an asshole when they started offering me special deals and trying to talk me into staying. The longer I sat on hold, the more fired-up I got, knowing that it would be pointless and that I’d end up talking to someone in India and have I mentioned that I hate talking to strangers on the phone in the first place, let alone someone I can’t understand?

But then I got to balancing my checkbook and by the time the customer service rep – who did not appear to be located in India – answered the line, I was so distracted by what I was doing that I was perfectly nice. (It helped that she was perfectly nice, too. But then, most customer service reps are.) She tried to talk me into saying, offered me the cheaper $9.99 plan (which, I note in retrospect, was not listed on the site when I went to see if there was a cheaper plan), and eventually she said “Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay?”, and I said “I’m sorry, no.”

Yes, I APOLOGIZED to her for not keeping my account. I guess that showed THEM.

So my Stamps.com account is closed, and I’m totally going to use that $15.99 a month to parTAY.

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Know what else annoys me? When you’re looking for something in particular online – like such – and instead of listing the price, the site says “Call for pricing.”

Um, no. If you can’t be bothered to list your price on your web page, I have no desire to call you up so you can try to get me to buy 6 other things along with the ONE THING I’m interested in. If I can’t find it somewhere else, I’ll go without, THANKS.

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Last week, I finally got my ass in gear and updated my links page.

Man, I read too many blogs and journals. No wonder I’m perpetually behind!

The link to that page resides in my sidebar to the left, the one with the picture of Miz Poo that says “blogs i read.” I’ve noticed a lot of people doing site searches for my links list lately, and so I thought I’d point out the link in the sidebar. To the left.

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My friggin’ iPod shit the bed last week, doing the same thing it was doing before I sent it off to be fixed (I get a screen with vague unreadable blue lines on it). I ordered a Zune off eBay on Wednesday, and it arrived here (from San Francisco!) on Friday. Of course, by the time it got here, my iPod had started to work again. I figure I’ll just use the iPod ’til it stops working completely, and then I’ll sell the stupid thing on eBay. It amazes me that people buy iPods that don’t work on eBay, I assume they use them for parts.

The Zune is about a third the size of the iPod, which should make it easier to use when I’m puttering around outside doing stuff.

Speaking of puttering around outside doing stuff, yesterday I finally got my plants planted in the planters on the front porch (Caladium bulbs, with Impatiens and Pink Splash), but of COURSE it wasn’t ’til I finished the planting that I remembered that I’d intended to plant banana peels in the pots since I’ve read that they’re good for most plants. Figures.

Then I cleaned out the brooder in the garage to ready it for the newest chicks (a woman in Madison borrowed our incubator and bought a dozen eggs for hatching so that her grandkids could see eggs hatching; then she gave the resultant chicks back to us. In other words: MORE CHICKENS, eight of them, to be exact. Thank god, because I was afraid we were going to run out!), vacuumed the house, and did some laundry.

Saturday was actually a busier day for me – in the morning we went to the feed store where we buy some of our cat food, we went to the co-op to buy pig and chicken food and Frontline for the dogs (and I kicked myself for that – it’s so much cheaper online, I just forgot to order more, and we needed it immediately), we stopped by Lowe’s so Fred could buy a few things and look at their fruit trees, and we went to Wal-Mart to buy a take and bake pizza.

On a side note, I went to Sam’s one day last week, and while I was there, I picked up a pepperoni take and bake pizza that we were going to have for dinner Saturday night. I also bought flour and sugar while I was there. When I got home I put the pizza atop the extra freezer in the garage (which we don’t currently use) so that I could put the flour in the freezer we do use, and then I was going to put the pizza on top of the bag of flour and shut the freezer. Well, I got distracted, put the flour in the freezer, and then wandered off – LEAVING THE TOP OF THE FREEZER OPEN AND THE PIZZA ON TOP OF THE OTHER FREEZER. When Fred got home from work Friday (Friday being THE DAY AFTER I’d left the freezer open; I don’t know why he didn’t notice it that morning when he left for work), he saw the freezer open, the pizza set on the unused freezer, thought I’d been abducted, and came running into the house to find me laying on the couch, covered in kittens, watching The Reader. We didn’t dare eat the pizza, since it’d been sitting out for a day and a half, so we ended up going to Wal-Mart Saturday to buy a (more expensive, grrr) pizza there.

(Same pizza, same size, a dollar more. Not that great, either.)

When we got home, Fred went out to start working on the new shade structure on the front of the big chicken coop and I cleaned up the kitchen and started baking. I made:

Tomato Soup Chocolate Cake. Neither of us really cared for it, each ate a small piece, and the pigs are getting the rest of it.

Chocolate Chip Teacakes. Surprisingly good! I rolled half of them in powdered sugar and put the other half to the side for (you guessed it!) the pigs.

Amanda’s Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate Chip Cookies, with some changes. First, I didn’t have an entire cup of dried cranberries, so I used about 3/4 cup of cranberries and 1/4 cup of dried blueberries. Second, I didn’t have – and don’t like – white chocolate, so I used milk chocolate instead. They came out really good – though Fred said that the cranberries and blueberries were sticking to his teeth. I didn’t have that problem, though, and I liked them a lot.

So all in all, a pretty good weekend as far as baking goes. I’m really disappointed in that Tomato Soup Chocolate Cake, though. I had hoped it would be good, but it was just blah. (Fred, of course, said “What did you expect? It has TOMATO SOUP in it!”)

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Friday evening, I was in the house putting the kittens in their room. At this point, they’re being let out into the house around 8, and then I give them their evening snack and put them back in their room around 6 – sometimes later, depending on what they’re doing. They are awfully cute and sweet, but having seven of them bouncing around like wild things can be a TAD overwhelming, and not only to me. They’ve pretty much taken over the cat beds on my desk, and Mister Boogers (I assume) registered his displeasure by peeing on a magazine I’d left on the couch.

The latest issue of Backyard Poultry, damnit, and I’d only read half of it! FUCKING CAT. Now how on earth will I ever find out what good alternatives to Cornish Crosses are???

So I was putting the cats up, and the phone rang. Fred, who’d been in the back forty digging holes with the tractor to set posts for the shade structure, wanted me to come let him (on his tractor) through the gate. I told him I was putting the kittens up and I’d be just a minute, then I rushed through giving the kittens their snack and scooping the litter boxes, and as I rushed to the back door, I saw that His Highness Princess Fred had tired of waiting (LITERALLY TWO AND A HALF MINUTES) and let himself through the gate. So I’d rushed for nothing.

I charged him a $1 Douchebag Tax. AND HE PAID IT.

In fairness, if he’d realized what I was asking for the dollar for, he might not have paid it. But as I told him, the fact that he paid the $1 indicates acceptance and thus he is required to pay the Douchebag Tax WHENEVER I DEMAND IT in the future.

I foresee big bucks from this new venture.

(Yes, he did threaten to turn around and charge ME the Douchebag Tax when I’m being a Douchebag (which is often), but I informed him that (1) I do not accept the Douchebag Tax and will not pay it and (2) If he tricks me into paying it, I will then turn around and charge him an Copycat Tax of TWO dollars, so there.)

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If you don’t read Love & Hisses, you missed some really cute pictures last week. I’m just sayin’.

Beulah roared past the one-pound mark this week – she’s now at one pound, five ounces. She’s still far outweighed by her siblings (Bessie’s the closest, weight-wise, and she weighs a pound more than Beulah now.), but she’s getting there!

Bessie and Caleb are both over two pounds now, so they’ll go to be spayed and neutered this week.

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Doesn’t it totally look like a patch of orange tabby leaked off her brother onto her stomach?

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Suspicious.

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I swear she looks just like a little bulldog.

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“What?”

I don’t know just how she does it, but somehow she manages to get cuter with every minute that passes.

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“Quick! Behind you! A serial killer! Or maybe nothing at all! Same diff!”

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Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: No entry.
2006: I have no skillz, but I’m a quick learner!
2005: Spot let out a sad, drawn-out demon-from-hell sound.
2004: Meme-licious.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: I live to please you, my beloved readers.

April 21, 2009 (Tuesday)

After today, I’m taking the rest of the week off from journaling, just ’cause I’m feeling uninspired. I’ll be back Monday bright and early! I’ll be updating over at Love & Hisses through the week, though, if you’re craving cute kitten pics. **dividerlinewillmissyousodividerlinebegspleasedontgonooneeverlistenstodividerlinesobsobsob**   Recently I was looking at the pictures that my Flickr contacts … Continue reading “April 21, 2009 (Tuesday)”

After today, I’m taking the rest of the week off from journaling, just ’cause I’m feeling uninspired. I’ll be back Monday bright and early!

I’ll be updating over at Love & Hisses through the week, though, if you’re craving cute kitten pics.

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Recently I was looking at the pictures that my Flickr contacts had uploaded, and I came across a cool picture Aimee had taken. Immediately, I knew I was going to try it myself. I took two cups, filled them with vinegar, and put an egg in each cup – then hid them in the laundry room cabinets.

The next day, I took out one of the cups and rinsed off the egg to find – voila! The shell was gone, and there was just a flexible membrane holding the egg together. I showed it to my parents, told them NOT to tell Fred, and went out and put it in a nest box in the little coop. Since Fred broke Sassy McGee of her broodiness several days ago, she hasn’t been laying eggs, and we’d just discussed that fact the day before.

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When Fred got home, he went out to feed the pigs and check for eggs and all that. Trying not to be obvious, I watched him as he went to the small coop to check Sassy’s nest box. Then I grinned like a fool as he walked back to the house. He walked through the door and looked at me with suspicion.

“What are you grinning about?” he asked suspiciously.

“I, uh, just an email,” I stammered.

“Want to see something really cool?” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Hold out your hand.”

I obeyed.

He put the egg in my hand and as he did so, he said “Sassy has started laying again!”

Then he went out and showed my parents, and they ooohed and ahhhed appreciatively.

“I told you they aren’t getting enough calcium!” I said, and then “We should try to hatch it!”

Then he started talking about making a video of himself breaking open the egg and putting it up on YouTube, and I couldn’t help myself – I got a great big shit-eating grin on my face, and he scowled at me and said “Am I being Punk’d?” I admitted that he was, and he said “You know, I should have known when I walked through the door and you were grinning!”

Too bad I can’t keep a secret, ’cause I was ready to keep the weird eggs coming for a few weeks before I told him the truth.

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I saw this “garbage bowl” in Kohl’s. A “garbage bowl” made of some lightweight material. $19.99.

Are you fucking kidding me? A special bowl to put by the sink and toss your scraps in? Is everyone aware that you can use ANY bowl for that, a bowl you already own, not a $19.99 bowl?

I wanted to station myself next to the display of bowls and if anyone looked particularly interested in buying the bowl, offering them $5 NOT to buy the goddamn thing.

Okay, I’ll say it: if you’re buying a $19.99 bowl to put your kitchen scraps in just because it has Rachel Ray’s name on it, YOU HAVE TOO MUCH FUCKING MONEY.

Better to just set that $19.99 (plus tax) on fire. At least it’ll keep you warm.

The “garbage bowl” will not.

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This remind anyone else of those “best friend” necklaces, where you get one half and your best friend gets the other, and you wear them around and everyone envies your friendship? No?

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If this thing hadn’t cost $59.99 (at TJ Maxx), I totally would have bought it for Nance‘s birthday (which is next month), just to fuck with her. I can only imagine her opening up the (big-ass) package and saying “What the fuck…?” and it makes me laugh.

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This is the bird’s nest that a bird (possibly a Nuthatch, but I’m not positive) built in the tarp above the littlest chicken coop. I put up a picture of the nest with the momma bird on it, but I happened by this past weekend when the momma bird was absent, so I took advantage of her absence to stick the camera in there and get a closeup of the nest.

Two eggs, looks like, and what I think is super cool is that there’s dog hair in the nest. When Fred brushes the dogs, I tell him to toss the hair outside the fence so any birds building their nests can use it. It’s nice to see they actually do.

Though with the amount of dog hair he gets when he brushes the dogs, an entire country full of birds could use nothing but George and Gracie hair to line their nests!

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Bluebird, keeping an eye on me through the kitchen window. That he’s still around is a good thing, right? Probably he has a nest somewhere close by?

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The eggs the Silkie was sitting on hatched on Sunday. Baby chickens are cute – baby chickens sticking their heads out from under their Momma are cute times 10,000.

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Elijah, Ezra, Jasper and Phinneas are all going to be neutered on Thursday.

I’d say “poor babies”, but in my experience once I get the boy cats home at the end of the day, they don’t seem to realize anything’s happened at all. I’m sure Thursday evening they’ll be bouncing around without a care in the world!

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“THIS ARE MY KITTY CONDO YOU STAY AWAY!”

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She’s such a pretty girl.

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“Helloooooo good-looking!”

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“Who, me? No, what? I didn’t do it!”

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Caleb has earned himself the nickname “Trouble.” He was chewing on the cord to an alarm clock, so I unplugged it. He immediately went over to the wall where the end of a cable cord is sticking out, and started chewing on it.

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Crazy eyes!

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If I’d had any idea THIS was about to happen, I would have lifted the camera a little and used the flash to get it in focus. It makes me laugh and laugh.

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Miz Poo tried to get my parents to take her home with them. She was unsuccessful. Probably for the best – she’d miss Mister Boogers far too much. (HA.)

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Previously
2008: I KNEW SOMEONE HAD STOLEN MY FELIWAY! GIVE IT BACK!
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: I want to hear “Fine, thanks. Here’s your Supah-sized Diet Coke. Have a nice day!” Understood? I swear, I’m just going to STOP asking, that’s all.
2003: Some day I’ll create a housecleaning schedule and actually keep to it. Ha!
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: So, my last official day at work. Ho-hum.

4/17/09 (Friday)

I’m sorry the divider line thing confused a bunch of you yesterday – I tend to just type ’em in and then not think about them again. I’m glad you figured it out. I’ll beat divider line with a wet kitten and hopefully it won’t happen again. (But you know it will!) **dividerlineisheartilysorryforhavingconfusedtheedividerlineisheartilysorryforhavingconfusedthee**   Yesterday … Continue reading “4/17/09 (Friday)”

I’m sorry the divider line thing confused a bunch of you yesterday – I tend to just type ’em in and then not think about them again. I’m glad you figured it out. I’ll beat divider line with a wet kitten and hopefully it won’t happen again.

(But you know it will!)

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Yesterday my mother and I got out of the house and did some shopping. We hit TJ Maxx and Kohl’s, and then stopped by PetSmart to pick up some cat food. I was intent on buying nothing but cat food, but the minute I walked through the door, the employee who greeted me pointed out that there were a bunch of cat toys on sale, and although the last thing our damn cats need is more toys, I stocked up anyway.

(What can I say? They were priced REALLY well, and I’m a sucker for cat toys.)

And hey – if anyone out there subscribes to Cat Fancy magazine and wants to send that coupon for a free 3.5-pound bag of Royal Canin Babycat my way, feel free!

So after we browsed through PetSmart, we headed to the mall. I ran out of the Victoria’s Secret So Sexy shampoo I’ve been using for years (I always imagine a man with a cheesy mustache crooning “My lady is soooooo sexy” when I say the name of the damn shampoo) a few weeks ago and I bought some cheap-ass stuff at Big Lots, but I’ve really been missing the So Sexy (I love the smell of it), so it was time to get some more.

We wandered through the mall a bit, browsed Bath and Body Works, checked out Dillard’s, then I bought my shampoo and we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch. I’d never been there before and we had no idea how things work (you choose what you want, then choose what kind of BBQ sauce you want on it, then what you want for a side. We were a little confused, to say the least.) It was good, but I don’t know that I’d ever go out of my way to eat there again.

She’d mentioned maybe looking for a Coldwater Creek, and I knew that Bridge Street Town Centre had one, so I took her there. It was really the first time I’d been there (except for a trip to Red Robin when my sister and Brian were here), and it was nice to walk and look at the stores, but it’s mostly upscale clothing stores, so I didn’t buy anything. I did find out that Bath and Body Works and Victoria’s Secret both have stores there. Given that Bridge Street is very close to the mall, I’m wondering how long stores in both locations will stay open.

Then we came home, where my father was hanging out with the kittens (he was more than happy to stay home rather than go shopping. Go figure!), hung out for a while, and then had dinner at Logan’s Roadhouse, which was excellent as always.

(I discovered that my mother and Fred both share a dislike of cheese. Well. They like cheese, just not on a salad. Or a burger. I never knew that about my mother before now.)

Today, I need to get some dog treats made ’cause we’re running low. Also, I’ve got to wrangle the baby chickens and release them into the fenced area around the little chicken coop. Baby chickens outside in the sun are some happy little birds, believe you me.

(Also, this house desperately needs vacuuming, especially the foster room!)

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That baby kitteh is creepy looking. She reminds me of Gollum. Every time you post a picture of her, I think I hear her hissing, “Where is my preciousssssssss.”

Awww, mean! (But funny – and I have to admit that I can see it!)

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If you do end up with Beulah, how many cat beds will you need to purchase? Don’t want to tick Miz Poo off – she might swatch poor Beulah out of a bed, and she would go flying out the window…

I think if we get any more cat beds, we very well might have to get a whole new house to put the cat beds in. We’re running out of room for them unless I just start randomly putting them in the middle of the rooms.

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OMG, that kitty is SO cute… hmm – how about for names, Gizmo? (he’s the gremlin dude)… or Stripe was the other… but, Gizzy sounds pretty cool

Well, my brother has a cat named Gizmo, actually, so it’d be kind of weird to give one of our cats the same name – assuming we’re keeping her, that is, and at this point we’re kind of swinging the other way on that decision. We’ll see.

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I am THRILLED that Beulah/~ is on the road to becoming a permanent member of the household!!! And Val asked the question I intended to ask. I’m guessing, what, four or five beds per cat?

Without actually walking through the house and counting them, we have approximately 21 cat beds in the house – that’s just actual cat beds and does not include places to sleep on the cat tree, or kitty condos and things of that sort. It also includes the five cat beds we usually keep in the guest bedroom, so that number drops by five whenever we have guests.

10 cats, 21 beds. That’s not so outrageous, is it?

Oh, wait. Make that 22 – I just remembered the one on Fred’s desk!

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My grandma used to have these white glass eggs that she put under the hens. Were those to make broody hens lay eggs? I can’t remember and she and my Daddy are gone so I can’t ask either one of them. DAMN–there is always some unasked question I want answered by those two!!!

I believe – and Fred can correct me if I’m wrong – that they put golf balls in nest boxes so that the hens know where to lay, so maybe the glass eggs were for the same reason. Though if the glass eggs your grandma put under the hens were cold, maybe it was to break them from being broody? I know that one of the things you can do to break a broody hen is to put ice under her.

Having a block of ice under me would cure me of my broodiness right damn quick!

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You haven’t mentioned that the Countess is separated from her husband! I wonder if she can still call herself Countess after the divorce is final? Jill’s apartment is hideous! And I wonder what they did with all their old stuff because it didn’t look like they kept a single thing. I just hope the New Jersey housewives are as entertaining and batshit crazy.

I’m pretty sure the Countess will be keeping her title – I’ve read that in several places, at least. Though I wonder how that happens – if the Count remarries, does his new wife not get the title, or do all his exes get to keep their title, or what?

I’ve watched the New Jersey housewives premiere, and so far it looks very The Real Housewives of The Sopranos to me.

If someone could explain to me why so many of these women are under the mistaken impression that fake tans are something to strive for, I’d appreciate it.

(Also, that blonde is a dead ringer for a young Lorraine Bracco.)

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Boy, the picture of Ms. B and Mr. E really shows how tiny Ms. B. really is. She’s not the runt of the litter, she’s THE RUNT!

She’s like a superhero, wearing a tiny little cape and flying through the air with the greatest of ease (or being carried through the air with the greatest of ease, anyway). SUPER RUNT!

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I don’t know why you’re thinking of renaming Beulah. She looks like a Beulah. I think it fits her perfectly! And yes, you’re keeping her!

While I do agree that she looks like a Beulah, my great-grandmother’s name was Beulah, and I think it’d be weird to have a cat named after her.

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Can you ask your vast readership a question for me, please? Does anyone know of a cell phone you can get that doesn’t have an activation fee or monthly fees and has minutes that don’t expire? I am trying to find one for my grandmother who will maybe use the phone once every decade. I just want her to have one in case of an emergency when she’s out driving. The “disposable” phones I have tried thus far don’t have activation/monthly fees, but you can only purchase minutes that last for a certain length of time before they expire. & of course, the less you spend, the sooner the minutes expire. It’s so frustrating, especially because this kind of information isn’t listed on the packaging. Is there really no such thing as an “emergency only” cell phone?

Lots of people had suggestions in my comments, but just in case anyone out there doesn’t read my comments regularly and didn’t see Shelly’s question, I’m posting it here in case one of you has any additional ideas.

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This is an article about the new Jackie Warner show on Bravo.

Is it wrong that I’m kind of disappointed? I’d much rather see Jackie Warner and her hot trainers (to be truthful, I’m more interested in the hot trainers than Jackie. I don’t have a crush on Jackie, because she scares me a little. She’s so intense!) than Jackie Warner taking over a gym and making it run right.

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you made me cry with the baby chick that was getting pecked! damn chickens. leave the baybee alone!

If it helps any, they weren’t really picking on the baby chick – someone pecked at the top of her head because they thought it might be food, made her bleed, and seeing blood made the other baby chicks peck too. The Blue Kote both disinfects the wound and covers the red so that the other chicks won’t peck at her. She’ll be fine, don’t worry about her.

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I was watching Alton Brown the other day and he was making some french chicken dish (Co Co La Vin or something like that) and it calls for a rooster. He went thru a speech saying the stores won’t carry them etc etc…and I thought wow, Robyn could make it correctly. Well, until I saw all the steps and said Robyn has way too many more interesting things to do with her time than to make that dish. lol

and

I think Audri is correct; I think you have much more important things to do than make this! But it sure sounds really good!

It does sound really good, but just looking at the ingredient list made me need a nap. The entire recipe made me need two naps. I’m not sure I’ll ever be up for making anything that requires that much work for one dish.

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I belong to kiva.org and I’ve made 13 loans of $25 each so far (many of them with the money I’ve been repaid from the first people I’ve loaned to). Have you ever considered making a loan to an entrepreneur in a third-world country? For some reason, this woman made me think of you. 🙂

That very well might be the neatest thing I’ve seen this week! It’s kind of amazing what you can help accomplish with $25, isn’t it?

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My mom always said that when you can’t find them (cats/kittens), but you know that they are there; that they have gone into Cat Space. It’s like a 4th dimension that humans can’t see. Our cats would always do that.

I’m imagining cats in tiny space suits, floating around and trying to jump on each other in a zero gravity setting. Phinneas would kick ass as a kitty astronaut!

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I thought Beulah was going to be called “Pip”? *nudge nudge wink wink*!!

After she spent ten minutes perching on my shoulder yesterday morning, I’m thinking Polly might be a good name for her, too! (Also, given her size, Polly Pocket!)

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So Tommy the Playa likes the younger women, huh?

He’s a man whore with an eye for the younger ladies, and they likes him back.

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It would be helpful if you could also put the day of the week at the top of your entries too so I can tell at a glance if you’ve updated or not, i.e. Thursday April 16. Thanks for your consideration.

Howzabout the date, with the day in parentheses after? I can’t guarantee I’ll remember every time, but I’ll certainly give it the ol’ college try.

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Robyn, can you repost the recipe for the mushroom risotto? There’s nothing at the link on your recipe page.

Can you see it now? If not, let me know and I’ll post it in my Monday entry (or email it to you if you need it before then! We’re actually having it tonight with mushrooms).

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Beulah does look like an alien! I love the photos with her next to the other cats, she looks so tiny and precious! That first photo with her and Tommy looks like she is saying “I can has coolness?”

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I have to confess – Tommy was actually less than impressed with Super Runt, and he had just hissed at her when I snapped the picture. She immediately went submissive and laid down in front of him.

Tommy likes ’em submissive.

Oh, my question: Have you ever submitted your pictures to Cute Overload?

Every time someone says “You should totally submit this picture to Cute Overload”, I do. Apparently they’re not impressed. Bastards!

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I used to shop WalMart exclusively. But then, something happened. It got more crowded, and with ruder people. People who didn’t look where they were going with their carts, who didn’t mind bumping into you while you were standing considerately on the sideline scrutinizing your choices. And then WalMart implied I should ring up and bag my own purchases (which sounded good to me at first) but then sabotaged the experience with the whiny B voice ordering me to bag an item or accusing me of not bagging a light one. Gah.

That goddamn “PLACE YOUR ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA” really makes me want to go on a shooting rampage, and I avoid the self-checkout as much as possible, but when I have to deal with the self-checkout and that fucking voice starts up with me, I tend to talk back to it. I don’t swear at it, but I am SERIOUSLY TEMPTED.

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I was one of those annoying-ass people who was blocking the end of the aisle the other day. I was just hanging out there, talking to my parents, and then I turned around and saw a woman patiently standing there waiting to get by me. At least I immediately moved and apologized when I saw her. That gets me points, right?

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I remember that a while back you used sisal rope on the cat tree in the foster kitty room. Was there a certain way you wrapped it around the poles? Did you glue it into place? I am sick of the little bits of carpet coming off our cat tree from the shredded carpet on the poles, so I’m going to buy some sisal rope and try to get some more life out of that cat tree.

I’m embarrassed to admit that while I did get a shit-ton of sisal from an eBay auction, it’s still in the unopened box and it’s been six months or more since I got it.

Me = procrastinator.

I do remember reading up on it, though, and what I recall is that you’re supposed to use glue, wind the rope around the pole as tightly as possible (use a hammer to tamp the rope down regularly during the winding process), then put a nail in the end of the sisal to help hold it all in place.

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You can’t think of three things you can’t live without??? Uhm…Miz Poo, Sugarbutt, and Beulah ring a bell??? As much as I curse about my cats, I can’t imagine a day without them.

In the question, I understood “things” to mean “possessions”, and since I consider our cats to be part of our family and not “things”, they certainly didn’t come to mind. Which I think was clear by the answer I gave.

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Go to the Land o Lakes website and you can print coupons, to use on top of that Walmart price. There are some great coupon sites out there telling you how to save. Try www.hip2save.com and check out some of her links to other sites.

Great link! I’ve already added it to my list of sites to check first thing in the morning!

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So, to be honest, I’m waffling about whether I want to permanently keep Beulah. I do like her, and she’s a sweet little thing, but the peace among our cats is tenuous in the best of times, and I really don’t know that I want to add another cat to the permanent population.

I know, I know. Y’all love her and you want to see her grow up and you don’t believe I could ever give her up, but y’all say that about AN AWFUL LOT OF THE KITTENS I FOSTER.

No permanent decision has been made and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of waffling ahead, but if anyone out there is seriously interested in adopting her – or any of the fosters! – let me know and I’ll send you the name and number for the shelter manager.

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Though the kittens are enthralled with Miz Poo, she hasn’t got much use for them. I did catch her playing with them briefly yesterday, though. She’s like Ouiser from Steel Magnolias – (I’m pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the son of a bitch ‘fore I couldn’t help myself.) She saw the kittens playing, and she played with them before she could help herself. But then she caught herself and hissed at them and ran away.

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Smilin’ Joe Bob. He’s such a bad boy!

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Previously
2008: “So, would you want a pregnant cat?” she asked hopefully.
2007: It can’t happen soon enough, if you ask me.
2006: Taking the week off.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: “Helloooooo, Fancypants! Hey, buddy, whatchoo doin’?” I said in my special Fancypants voice.
2002: Know what I’m thinking? Psycho stalker, desperate to come into the house, rape and rob us and leave us for dead, stealing the computers and the big-screen TV on the way out.
2001: I should have stayed in bed this morning.
2000: No entry.

4/16/09

So on Monday, I had to get groceries. I decided that I’d do my initial grocery-getting at Wal-Mart, since the list wasn’t too terribly long, and then I’d get the things that Wal-Mart doesn’t carry (2% large-curd cottage cheese. Don’t look at me, Fred’s the one who eats it.) at my beloved Publix. Most of … Continue reading “4/16/09”

So on Monday, I had to get groceries. I decided that I’d do my initial grocery-getting at Wal-Mart, since the list wasn’t too terribly long, and then I’d get the things that Wal-Mart doesn’t carry (2% large-curd cottage cheese. Don’t look at me, Fred’s the one who eats it.) at my beloved Publix.

Most of the stuff I was buying at Wal-Mart was in the baking aisle, and I was out of butter, so I needed to get some of that. I absentmindedly jotted down the price of the yeast and bread flour I was buying, just because I was curious how much cheaper Wal-Mart really is than Publix. Then I moseyed down to grab a pound of butter (typing that makes me feel particularly fat.) and when I saw the price, my eyes bugged clean out of my head.

A pound of unsalted Land o’ Lakes butter at Publix: $3+. A pound of unsalted Land o’ Lakes butter at Wal-Mart: 2 for $4.

I bought six pounds of the damn stuff, because you can freeze it ’til you need it.

(KATG listeners, imagine me saying that in Keith’s “fat voice,” please.)

When I got to Publix, I went down the baking aisle first and found that a package of yeast at Publix is fifty cents more than at Wal-Mart. Now granted, it’s only 50 cents, but damn. DAMN. That can add up!

(Newsflash: Stupid Alabama woman is the last person in existence to realize that shit is less expensive at Wal-Mart than the local yuppy grocery store.)

So I grabbed the things I needed to get – frozen fruit, half-price Easter candy (Which conveniently can also be stored in the freezer. OR MY BELLY. Whichever.), something else I don’t recall – and I stood in line and had quite a nice conversation with the cashier as she rang up my purchases. We commiserated over the fact that there were no Reese’s peanut butter eggs in the half-price cart and how damn good those things are, and then I finished paying, we thanked each other, and I went out to the car.

Luckily, I hadn’t actually left the parking lot when I realized that the number one most important thing I’d visited Publix for? You know, the cottage cheese? I’d forgotten to buy any. So I went back in, grabbed eight cartons of the cottage cheese (it was on sale, and they last for weeks. Shaddup. Why am I defending my purchases to you, I highly suspect you don’t care all that much. Do you? Ah, you do, I can see it in your crazy stalker eyes. Nevermind.) and ended up back in line at the exact same cash register.

You know, the one where we’d had a deep, meaningful conversation about the Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs literally three minutes before?

She rang up my cottage cheese, asked why I was buying so many, and asked if I’d ever tried the store brand cottage cheese, and nodded sympathetically when I told her it was for my husband and he’s not picky about many things, but he’s picky about his cottage cheese.

And never once did she indicate in any way that she’d ever seen my face before in her life.

So anyway, much as I hate Wal-Mart, and much as I hate the fact that they are assfaces to their employees, I cannot deny that a penny saved is a penny motherfucking earned. In the face of saving 50 cents on yeast and over a dollar on butter, I will likely be doing the bulk of my grocery shopping at Wal-Mart from here on out.

I AM SINGLEHANDEDLY KILLING THE ECONOMY.

Ooh, but you know what? They have this AISLE now, this brand-new aisle of mostly food items that are priced at $1 or less. I like that aisle. I introduced my mother to this aisle, and she likes it too. Won’t you come to Wal-Mart and meet the $1 or less aisle?

I imagine us all wandering blank-faced into Wal-Mart like zombies, moaning “One dollar! One dollarrrrrrrr!”

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To round out this entry, a meme. It’s from the “Sunday Stealing” site and it’s not Sunday, but who cares, right?

Sunday Stealing: The Green Meme

1. What is your current obsession? More ways to save money – and is it cheaper to shop at the Dollar General Market than Wal-Mart or not?

2. What’s a good coffee place? What is this “good coffee” you speak of? I don’t drink coffee, so to me it’s all the same.

3. Who was the last person that you hugged? Fred, I’m sure.

4. Do you nap a lot? I can’t remember the last time I took a nap, so no. Wait, that’s a lie, I do remember – last week on the floor of the foster kitten room, with warm and purring kittens piled atop me. I dared not move lest I wake them up, so I figured I might as well nap, too. (Usually, though, I’m not a napper.)

5. Tonight, what’s for dinner? We’re taking my parents to Logan’s Roadhouse.

6. What was the last thing that you bought? Birthday presents for my littlest nephew’s 4th birthday at Wal-Mart yesterday.

7. What is your favorite weather? 73 and sunny, maybe a gentle breeze.

8. Tell us something about one blogger who you think will play this week? I… do not know.

9. If you were given a free house that was fully furnished, where in the world would you like it to be? Somewhere where it’s 73 and sunny year-round. Oh, and if there were ocean nearby, that would be smashing.

10. Name three things that you could not live without. My heart. My liver (I assume). My brain. HAR. I can’t think of one possession I would die without, so I’m going to say nothing at all. Everything can be replaced. Don’t get me wrong – I’d be sad if my house burned down and I lost all the pictures I’ve taken over the years, but I wouldn’t die without them.

11. What would you like in your hands right now? Um. ::smirk::

12. What’s one of your guilty pleasures? Those damn Real Housewives shows. I don’t actually feel all that guilty about watching them, though.

13. What would you change or eliminate about yourself? My wattle. It drives me nuts.

14. As a child, what type of career did you want? Depended on what moment you asked me. For a while I wanted to be a vet, ’til I realized how much school it involved. When I had the tumor removed from my knee, I wanted to be an orthopedic surgeo. I think I wanted to be a nurse, also a secretary (I would kick ASS at being a secretary, I’m excellent at determining and meeting expectations before the person having the expectations knows they even expect them), Psychologist, and something to do with computers.

15. What are you missing right now? Heat. GODDAMN it’s cold in here right now!

16. What are you currently reading? Sham: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless. Also, the latest Playboy. I haven’t been reading much lately, though.

17. What do you fear the most? Having a stroke or in some way being incapacitated and bedridden permanently.

18. What’s the best movie that you’ve seen recently? I really liked Yes Man. I could watch Jim Carrey read his grocery list out loud for two hours, as long as he made those faces and threw himself around. (On a side note, have Paul Rudd and Bradley Cooper ever been in a movie together? Because I suspect the earth would implode from the impact of having so much pretty in one movie.)

19. What’s your favorite book from the past year? Find Me, by Carol O’Connell. Just thinking about the end makes me teary-eyed.

20. Is there a comfort food from your childhood that you still enjoy? Whoopie pies. Is lobster comfort food? I’ll say lobster, too.

**dividerlineknowsthatmemecentricentriesarecheaterentriesdividerlineisashamedtobedividingthisentry**

 

My parents are visiting, and to my dismay Beulah loves my father more than she loves me. In fact, she loves my mother more than she loves me, too. The only thing she wants me for is to give her food that she can gulp down before she goes back to hang out on my father or mother.

JUST STOMP ON MY HEART, BEULAH, YOU HEARTLESS BRAT.

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More pics over at L&H.

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I’m fairly certain heads would roll if Stinkerbelle got an eyeful of THIS situation.

**dividerlineknowsthatmemecentricentriesarecheaterentriesdividerlineisashamedtobedividingthisentry**

 

Previously
2008: And then I will duct-tape the stupid thing to me so that I don’t lose it!
2007: It’s a rough fucking life.
2006: No entry.
2005: The freakin’ notify list.
2004: You could take notes, motherfucker.
2003: Okay, okay! Just please stop asking!
2002: I guess I was a doofus even way back then.
2001: DO NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, EMAIL AND ASK IF I HAVE ANYTHING ON THIS LIST, STILL. I DO NOT
2000: I had to refrain from picking her up and squeezing her to bits.

4/15/09

Sights from around Crooked Acres: The Crooked Acres Bluebird. (I told my father that we had one Bluebird hanging around. He said “They don’t hang around singly, they’re in pairs!” I told him I’d only seen the one – yesterday, I realized that female Bluebirds look quite a bit different (in fact, they look like … Continue reading “4/15/09”

Sights from around Crooked Acres:

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The Crooked Acres Bluebird. (I told my father that we had one Bluebird hanging around. He said “They don’t hang around singly, they’re in pairs!” I told him I’d only seen the one – yesterday, I realized that female Bluebirds look quite a bit different (in fact, they look like Mockingbirds to me), so it’s entirely possible (probably likely) that there’s a female around, I just didn’t realize it.)

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Baby chickens – two weeks old, I think? The others had been pecking at this one’s head, causing her to bleed, so we had to put Blue Kote on her to disinfect the wound and stop the other chickens from pecking. So far, so good.

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Such pretty little things.

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What I love about chickens is that I see the pretty little ones like this, and I say “I can’t wait to see what it looks like when it’s grown!”, and I don’t have to wait years and years to find out, only a few months.

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Polish cross with a mohawk. This one’s gotta be a rooster.

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“You has food for us?”

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Fred and my father built a longer, less steep ramp for Charlie, the chicken with the twisted-up toes. Yes, that is correct – our chickens now have a handicapped-accessible ramp. The chickens who are pretty, and the chickens who are friendly are doing it wrong – apparently engendering pity in your owners is what gives Crooked Acres chickens a longer life span.

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Twisted-up toes and Blue Kote on her neck. She’s a mess, god love her, but she’s the queen of the baby chicken/ maternity coop and yard.

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Broody mamas, each sitting on three or four eggs. The Silkie is due to start hatching this weekend. Hopefully Silkies really are the good mothers they’re purported to be!

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Rooster in the sun.

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It appears that Michelle – formerly the head rooster of the chicken yard – has been toppled from the throne by this pretty Buff rooster. It makes me sad to see the other roosters chasing Michelle off – and Michelle sleeps in a nest box rather than roosting with his wimmins. I hate seeing it. Poor Michelle.

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Michelle performs the maneuver we refer to as “umbrella neck.” The wimmins seem unimpressed.

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This white rooster (one we hatched ourselves last Fall from a batch of eggs we got in Amish country in Tennessee – therefore, we call him “The Amish Rooster”, of course) seems poised to kick the Buff rooster off his throne. I have to say, I’d like to see him kick some Buff butt.

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Still love the rock star.

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This might be Mr. Friendly – who isn’t as friendly as he used to be. In fact, when I check for eggs, he comes and supervises and gets all up in my space. He’s not showing me the proper respect, and I’ve told him that he better stop harassing me, or we’ll be eating Mr. Friendly stew.

I’m not impressed by the umbrella neck, Mr. Friendly.

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This rolled-up fencing lives in the wood shed ’til the time comes that Fred needs it.

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They’ll build nests anywhere, won’t they?

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This tarp covers a rain shelter by the littlest (unused for now) coop. This bird built a nest in it, and I assume she’s sitting on eggs. I snapped this picture, then the bird freaked out and flew off and scolded us, so I left it alone. I want to get better pictures, but I don’t want her to abandon her nest, so I’ll behave. Maybe. (I don’t know what kind of bird it is – I think it might be a Nuthatch.)

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“You has food for us?”

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Such good puppies, waiting for their treats.

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Did I mention pretty?

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“Do ya feeling lucky, punk? Well? Do ya?”

**dividerlinewouldliketolodgeacomplaintthisisSPRINGgoddamnitSPRINGnotWINTER**

 

Naturally, as soon as I said how we were going to deal with letting the kittens out into the rest of the house, that changed. Yesterday morning I went up and let them out of their room, and they promptly went to the bottom of the stairs and meowed sadly at how all they wanted in this world was to be let out into the rest of the house, but that mean lady wouldn’t let them.

I can only stand so much sad meowing from tiny kittens, so I caved pretty quickly.

Everyone except Beulah immediately came down and spread out through the house. Our cats were NOT impressed with the tiny interlopers, but they didn’t actually smack anyone, just hissed a lot.

After a couple of hours of the kittens exploring and sniffing at the big cats and eating some of their food, I realized it was pretty quiet, and then I heard an inquisitive meow. Miss Beulah had figured out those stairs and come to see where everyone else had gone. Where was everyone? All curled up in a cat bed, looking kind of scared and lost.

I put them back in their room for a few hours, and then let them out again in the evening. When they’d been out for a few more hours, we decided to put them back in their room (so we wouldn’t be racing around trying to find them at bedtime), and we located everyone but Phinneas and Beulah immediately.

We could not find Beulah and Phinneas ANYWHERE. We looked in all the nooks and crannies of the house, called and called for them, and nothing. I wasn’t worried, because I knew they had to be in the house somewhere, but I WAS very confused.

I was looking around in my room, then suddenly heard a wee meow. I turned around, and Beulah was coming out from behind my laundry basket, looking sleepy. So now we had everyone but Phinneas, and after five more minutes of searching, he just kind of appeared in the middle of my bedroom.

In retrospect, I think that he and Beulah had gotten behind my bookcase – there’s a gap between the bookcase and the wall – curled up in the hollow place under the bookcase (you can’t see under the bookcase from the front, because there’s wood there) and gone to sleep.

Kittens find the most amazing places to curl up and hide, don’t they?

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Kittens looking through the screen at Miz Poo, who cannot be bothered to even look their way.

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Possibly this would be a better picture if I could ever hold the camera straight, ya think?

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Snoozin’ Jasper.

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“Tryin’ to sleep here, lady!”

**dividerlinewouldliketolodgeacomplaintthisisSPRINGgoddamnitSPRINGnotWINTER**

 

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She has such intense eyes. She scares me a little.

**dividerlinewouldliketolodgeacomplaintthisisSPRINGgoddamnitSPRINGnotWINTER**

 

Previously
2008: It just looked like a great big blob of tumor, is what it looked like.
2007: No entry.
2006: No entry.
2005: “Light” my ass!
2004: An odd duck, that one.
2003: Unfortunately, he lived.
2002: 10 Things I Learned Last Week
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.

4/10/09

Hey, did you know that Sunday is Easter? I had no idea ’til I looked at the calendar yesterday and saw it written there. Who the fuck knew? dividerlinecantwaittosleepintomorrowmorningdividerlineisaslackeratheart   Can you hear the sound? I tested the website with some of the younger staff at my office. They hear the noise and tell me … Continue reading “4/10/09”

Hey, did you know that Sunday is Easter? I had no idea ’til I looked at the calendar yesterday and saw it written there.

Who the fuck knew?

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Can you hear the sound? I tested the website with some of the younger staff at my office. They hear the noise and tell me it’s rather annoying. I could not tell you – no noise for me or a couple of my co-workers in my age range – 35-45.

I did hear it, actually! And then I made Fred sit down and listen, and the first time he didn’t hear it, and the second time he could “kind of” hear it. This must mean I have young ears, right? It sure does seem like everyone’s mumbling a lot lately, though.

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While you count up the chicks, they may be counting y’all, too.

Chicks can do basic arithmetic

Too neat!

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Do you find living near the church noisy? You two wake up early so I guess it’s ok.

I actually don’t ever hear anything from the church. The only annoying thing is that on Wednesdays and Sundays, George and Gracie feel the need to defend our property from the churchgoing interlopers, and they bark and bark and bark. Other than that, I hardly ever notice the church is there at all.

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In your 2006 Previously, you said that Fred was no help because he was standing there laughing his ass off. Wasn’t that what he was doing the other day when you were stuck in the mud? Does he do this often? Ha ha!

Apparently he does it ALL THE TIME, I just never noticed before. The unhelpful bastard!

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Hmmm…. I’m wondering if you would consider trading a year of blog banners for Beulah? My 17yo cat, Katie, died nearly a year ago, and we’ve not gotten another. Perhaps it’s time we think about getting a new kitty? Just thinking (typing) out loud here…

Um. Perhaps not Beulah… 🙂

For the record, anyone adopting one of our foster kittens would have to go through Challenger’s House, the shelter I volunteer for (the fosters don’t actually belong to me) and there’s an adoption fee involved.

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Your freaky kitten reminds me of gremlins. For years after the movie came out, I had nightmares about the creepy gremlins. *Bright light! Bright light!*

I have to admit – I can see that!

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Ok – just go ahead and adopt Beulah! By the time the girl hits 2 pounds, she will be so interwined into your family, you won’t be able to part with her. So just go ahead and do it so we don’t have to be in suspense for the next 4 or 5 months.

Shhhh… I have a plan. Don’t tell Fred (I didn’t copy him on the notify email, so I’m sure he’ll never read this), but I expect it to take months before she’s big enough to be spayed. Then I’m sure I can eke another 6 months by telling him there’s just no room at the pet store, and after that, I guarantee he’ll have forgotten that he objected to her becoming another one of ours.

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One way to avoid getting sick from chicken is an old-timey Caribbean way of cleaning your chicken; take a lime or lemon and some salt and scrub the chicken with it and then rinse well. I always do this with our chicken (sometimes I skip the salt), but always with the lemon/lime. I think it’s the citric acid that helps prevent salmonella. Also, the rinsing doesn’t leave a lemon or lime taste to the chicken.

Conveniently, I just bought a big bag o’ lemons at Sam’s! I knew they’d come in handy eventually!

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With the kittens out and about, you have 17 cats running around your house?

Once they actually have free reign of the house, yeah. There’ll be 17. I feel a little faint at the thought.

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Spanky = Barry White. Yeah. That photo made me think that. Like Spanky has this alter ego that sashays off to an undisclosed Crooked Acre room where he slips on a velvet smoking jacket and tickles the ivories…. Wait a minute. Isn’t Spanky the one who meower is broken? Good thing I came back to reality before the singing commenced.

No, that was Spot! Spanky’s got a perfectly good meower, and he uses it regularly. Here’s a movie of his verbal prowess I shot back when we lived in Madison:

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I recently received a Harriet Carter brochure in the mail and when I came across this item I thought of you and the egg buyers.

I’m not sure it would work for me because I’m so spooked by everything already that the alarm would probably scare me as much as strangers showing up in my yard unannounced. For instance, I tried one of those timed air fresheners and all it did was scare the bejesus out of me every 9 minutes, had to throw it away.

I also saw this and thought of you.

For some reason I love those Harriet Carter brochures although I have yet to buy anything from them.

I ADORE the Harriet Carter catalogs, I get them too, and I always look through them. I don’t believe I’ve ever actually bought anything from them, but that doesn’t stop them from sending them to me!

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ARGH! I HATE the term panties-it just sends shivers down my spine and makes me think of an old, nasty pedophile lusting after young children. A co-worker once found out I hate this word, and spent the better part of a week using it in almost every sentence.

My sister and I once found out that our friend Liz hates the word “snatch”, so we tried to work it into every conversation. “Don’t snatch that out of my hand!” and “Snatch that CD and hand it to me, would you?” We are so juvenile.

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A day late and a dollar short, but I really HATE when people feel the need to use an apostrophe for plurals. I’ve been noticing it more and more lately. I actually have a cousin who is VERY stupid and named her child Lar’s. WITH AN APOSTROPHE!!! GAH!!!!!

BEST COMMENT OF THE WEEK. This made me HOWL.

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If I taught English and someone handed me in an essay with text-speak, I would put U FAIL LOL at the top, followed by, NO SRSLY; NO A 4 U, and KTXBAI!

OTHER BEST COMMENT OF THE WEEK. HEE.

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Two things. First, I think you should keep Beulah, she is just too small and you and Fred are the only ones that will take excellent care of her. (At least that sounds like a good excuse. Doesn’t it?) Second, did you watch RHoNY and then a sneak peek at RHoNJ? Man, I would just like to smack Kelly!!!! She is on something, no one can act that weird/goofy/strange. And do you think she has rosacea, or her own tanning bed? My husband hates the RH shows, but I cannot turn them off. Is there something wrong with me?

Last night, I made a crucial step in the Beulah Project – I got Fred to discuss names for her. We were watching Yes Man (which was a really damn funny movie – I love Jim Carrey. And could Bradley Cooper be any prettier? That is one pretty, pretty man.) and I said “Tillie would be a perfect name for her!”

He immediately said “NO!” (as in, “No, we’re not keeping that kitten!”) But later on when we were laying in bed talking, he said “Well, it should be short for something, shouldn’t it?” and I said “Matilda!” Then we started joking around, and I said we should name her “Matilde” and call her “Tilde” and spell it like this: ~

(We probably found that far too amusing, for we are dorks.)

I did get a chance to watch the Real Housewives yesterday, and I say:

1. Mario is a douchebag and he and Ramona take themselves FAR too importantly. Have you ever noticed that the people least deserving of respect love to go on and on about how they’re being disrespected? I love that Bethenny thought of Simon to play with Jill, but man – Simon needs some new tennis clothes. I still think he’s creepy, but watching him play the worst game of tennis ever made me laugh and laugh. LOVED the sweatband.

2. I think that’s a fake tan Kelly has going on. It just looks wrong to me. And she can go on and on about that guy (what the hell was his name?) being so good-looking, but I’m not seeing it. I guess he’s marginally good-looking, and he seems like a nice guy, but I’m not blown away by him or anything. I can absolutely see what Bethenny means about Kelly not being genuine; ever moment of that date rang false to me, like Kelly was putting on a show. I don’t like her, but bless her for coming through for the charity (although I recently read that her ex-husband is refusing to follow through on taking the winning bidder’s portrait and Bethenny is offering up her ex-boyfriend (I’m assuming the photographer Kelly spent all that time flirting with) to do the job.)

3. I don’t really care for the new look of Jill’s apartment – Bethenny was right about it looking like Liberace lived there – and I really don’t like those little mirrored tables, but I think it kind of suits Jill. Actually, now that I think about it, it looks a little Graceland-y to me.

If loving the cheesy reality Housewives shows is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!

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She is too cute – is she a little crosseyed?

She’s actually a bit wall-eyed. Katherine sent me an email earlier this week that made me laugh and laugh.

BeulahMarty

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I had a Beulah comment too – is it okay for her to be that tiny? It sounds like she’s still gaining weight, but she just seems so itty bitty.

She seems perfectly healthy, and she’s gaining weight, all her systems seem to work okay (she’s a champ in the litter box, if we can just get her to stomp tromping through her poo!), so I think she’s fine. She’s just wee!

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Robyn, that little Beulah is so adorable. She looks so fragile so my heart says you must keep her and love her and protect her forever. Also, when I hear her name is reminds me of the times I stayed with my maternal grandparents on their farm and my grandmother would sing a hymn that went, “I’ve got home in Beulah-land that outshines the sun”. Has anyone ever heard of this song? Such good memories from those days on the farm where my grandmother raised chickens and my grandfather milked cows and had a milk route. I was a city girl and loved staying on their farm. You are living my childhood dreams, Robyn.

and Elayne said:

Jillybean: I’m familiar with the song, but have always heard it as “Glory Land” (aka heaven). (Google turns up references for both, to my surprise – I thought it’d be an individual adaptation.) Here’s a wiki article that explains how Beulah Land comes to equal heaven:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beulah_Land

Interesting!

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PS – remind me again why hens being broody is a bad thing? I know someone asked but I don’t remember the answer and don’t feel like googling (and getting sucked into six more hours of fascinating but time-sucking clickage).

I’m going to guess – and be kind to me if I’m wrong, because I’m totally ignorant, chicken-wise – that a broody hen doesn’t lay any more eggs because her body/hormones/whatever chickens have is focused on hatching the eggs that are already underneath her, so it’s undesirable for them to be broody because then they stop laying?

Yep, that’s exactly right – once they go broody and have a clutch of eggs underneath them, they stop laying, take up nesting boxes, and we end up with more chicks that we don’t really need!

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2009-04-10 (4)

More kitten pics over at L&H.

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2009-04-10 (10)
Miz Poo does not believe we need any more kittens in this here house.

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Previously
2008: Which means no entry for you!
2007: “Is it true that you’re fucking that evil woman, who just informed me that you are in love?”
2006: (See various entries I’ve written wherein I said that I’m bad in an emergency)
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Questions answered.
2002: No entry.
2001: Spring cleaning.
2000: No entry.

4/8/09

Y’all are some grumpy motherfuckers, aren’t you? Your comments yesterday cracked me UP. I have to admit that loud chewers can get on my nerves, too. I can be guilty of chomping my gum too loudly (but usually only when I’m agitated!) Lisa, I agree with you about Jorja Fox, she’s got quite the smackable … Continue reading “4/8/09”

Y’all are some grumpy motherfuckers, aren’t you? Your comments yesterday cracked me UP.

I have to admit that loud chewers can get on my nerves, too. I can be guilty of chomping my gum too loudly (but usually only when I’m agitated!)

Lisa, I agree with you about Jorja Fox, she’s got quite the smackable face!

I have to agree with Leonore’s comment:

I teach writing and English lit at a community college. You know it’s bad when “could of” isn’t even the most annoying mistake anymore (though it will always produce the same apoplexy in me as it does in Robyn, I’m sure, as will their/there/they’re, your/you’re, and many others). See, there’s a new trend for people to forget that an essay is NOT, in fact, A CELL PHONE!! and so they feel perfectly comfortable writing such things as: “Their are ways u can help urself quit a bad habit coz sum ppl don’t know to quit and its bad to keep doing that habit.” The vein starts to twitch when I see the letter u sitting all by itself. I refuse to use it even on the very rare occasion that I text anyone on an actual call phone (maybe once every other month?) Even my 42-year-old sister is started to speak in text shortcuts! STOP IT! I SAID STOP!

The happiest day of my life (okay, maybe the happiest day of my week) was when I got a cell phone with a keyboard on it, so I can easily type out text messages without having to resort to “u” and “4” and “did u get ur msg?” and the like.

Rachel hates the word “undies” – I can’t say I care for it either, but “panties” annoys me even more.

Leslie: People who ask, “Where is it at?” Hello-o-o, you don’t need to add a useless preposition to the end of the question. Also – this really bugs me: If I am in a store and I say thank you to the cashier or bagger, and the automatic is, “No problem.” I didn’t THINK I was causing a problem by expecting you to do your job. I was just being polite, and the correct response is “YOU’RE WELCOME.” Also: Road Boulders – people who drive at or below the speed limit in the fast lane, so everyone else has to pass them on the right.

That reminds me that “We’re going to the store. You wanna go with?” bugs the shit out of me. Why not just “You wanna go?” Why you gotta add that “with” on the end? IT’S WASTEFUL. Also, I rarely say “You’re welcome,” it was beaten into me (figuratively speaking) when I worked at McDonald’s as a teenager that you answer “Thank you” with “Thank YOU!”, and it’s kind of a knee-jerk reaction for me. It’s not obnoxious, is it? The bagger at the grocery store always looks a little surprised when I thank her after she’s thanked me.

Cara: Pet peeves: People walking around in the grocery store talking on a cell — not just a brief chat, but long, drawn-out conversations/shouting-matches/etc. Don’t they realize EVERYONE can hear what they are saying? Sigh.

God yes, and the people who talk on their cell phone while they’re checking out. And they don’t END the call or say “Let me call you back,” they just keep talking because they are just THAT important. I can’t count how many times I’ve been in line behind someone holding a Very Important Conversation and rolled my eyes at the poor cashier.

Michelle: You can also add these games for my twitch factor: “I know I heard a cat barfing somewhere, now WHERE IS IT?” and “Stop it stop it STOP IT with the growling and hissing and chasing I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!”

What’s worse than knowing there’s cat barf in the house and not being able to find it is NOT knowing it’s there, and stepping in it. Gah.

Val: It’s “Good, Good, Good” that makes me twitch. A former boss said it all the time. He wasn’t a good boss. I can take Good, Good, but throw that 3rd good in the mix and my skin crawls and my ears bleed.

I say “Good, good, good,” but only when I am extremely super over-the-top pissed off. Imagine that the last “good” is bellowed at the top of my lungs.

Aimee: Everyone’s twitchy grammar stuff reminds me of what the girl at mcdonald’s said to me yesterday. “here goes your coke.”

Were you tempted to say “Where’s it going? Can I go too?” Hee.

Elaine: Ah man, I am with Devil on the “could care less” twitch. I run through the difference in my mind EVERY time I hear someone say it. Must be my little OCD issue. I cannot stand constant motion. Why for the love of God is it impossible for some people to be still, if only for a minute or two? I hate that only women are shown singing to their toilets on television. I am sure there are men out there that burst into song everytime they get to stick their scrubby paws into the toilet. Supposebly. ARRRGGGHHHH. I hate corporate speak. Some ahole is always going to Tee Up some Low Hanging Fruit for a Shot on Goal while we get Granular and Organic on some project. Help me Obi Wan.

“Supposably” reminds me of the episode of Friends when Chandler said something about idiots who use the word, and then after he left the room, Joey repeats it to himself a few times, and then nods like he knows it’s the right word. I sure do miss Friends. ::sigh::

Leanne: Anyone who uses the term “ax” as in, “I axed you a question”. !? Add to that “fustrated” and “subbosably”. I swear I am THIS CLOSE to murdering stupid people when they insist on talking like IDIOTS.

My friend Liz cracks me up because she (jokingly) likes to say “If you don’t know, you better AX SOMEONE!”

Also Leanne: As well, as a basement dweller, my issue is with people who live in upstairs apartments who have no consideration for the people below them.

When I was pregnant with the spud, my ex-husband and I lived in a basement apartment, and the woman who lived upstairs got up every morning at 5:00, and she apparently IMMEDIATELY put her heels on, and she walked back and forth. And back and forth. And back and forth. One morning I counted how many times she stomped back and forth, and it was about 40 trips back and forth across the kitchen – which was directly above our bedroom.

To my surprise, no one brought up the usage of quotation marks when they’re not called for – such as the recent sign I saw that proclaimed We don’t take “checks.”

There were lots of good comments yesterday, those are just a few of them. Y’all ought to check them out if you’re not in the habit of reading them regularly!

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Thanks, you guys, for your hand lotion suggestions. I’ve written them down, and I will start working my way down the list ’til I find something that works for me. If I’m lucky, the first thing I try will work. A girl can dream, right?

So, I got plenty done yesterday, despite the fact that it was too freakin’ cold outside and I didn’t want to do anything but go back to bed. I did lots of cleaning, plenty of laundry, and I even cleaned a window or two. I’m not going to go overboard* cleaning, because the house is really in pretty good shape, just needs dusting and decluttering. I moved a bunch of stuff around in the front room, and I think the side of the front room we never use looks a lot better.

I think we ought to put up a wall to divide off the unused portion of the front room and turn it into another cat room or a sitting room or something. It’s going to waste the way it is right now, but I’m at a loss what else to do over there. We spend the majority of our day in the computer room, and just a couple of hours in the evening in the front room – there’s that whole unused space over there. It’s a CRYING SHAME, is what it is.

One thing I never did do yesterday is take my jeans off the clothesline. They’ve been there drying for three days now. I wonder if the neighbors shake their heads at how long I leave stuff on the line sometimes. I bought a tote bag at the Hard Rock Cafe back at Christmas time, and I think it’s made out of recycled material (or mostly recycled material). I don’t know what the problem is, but that bag fucking REEKS. I ran it through the washer twice and have let it hang on the line for three and a half months, and it still stinks.

It’s like Nance’s Purse o’ Stank, now that I think of it! I’m such a freakin’ copycat. I’m sure that next I’ll get myself a MacBook.

Maybe I’ll just turn the damn bag into a clothespin bag and let it live out on the line. Except then would it transfer The Stank to the clothespins and ultimately to the clothes the clothespins are holding on the line? I guess we’ll see.

*Remind me I said that when I’m frantically scrubbing under the bed in the guest bedroom and alphabetizing my lotions Thursday morning, would you?

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2009-04-08 (1)
Ezra can’t quite seem to get over the lip of the kitty condo…

2009-04-08 (2)
“Ezra, give me your paws! I’ll help pull you up!”
“It sure is a long way down…”

2009-04-08 (3)
Jasper: “Can’t… pull… you… up. You’re too heavy! Caleb! Get something soft for Ezra to land on!”
Ezra: “I have so much to live for! I’m so young! I haven’t even had my snack today! I don’t want to die!”
Caleb: “I likes to chew on this rope.”

2009-04-08 (4)
“Hold on, brother! I won’t let go of you!”

2009-04-08 (5)
Jasper: “Can’t… hold… on! My grasp is slipping!”
Ezra: “TELL MOM I LOVE HER IF YOU EVER SEE HER AGAIN! TELL HER I MADE SOMETHING OF MYSELF! TELL HER I WAS A CONTENDUH!”

2009-04-08 (6)
Jasper: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
Ezra: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
Caleb: “This is just some tasty, tasty rope. I wonder if it’s some of that special Italian rope?”

2009-04-08 (7)
Ezra: “Huh.”
Jasper: “He’s alive! He’s ALIVE! IT’S A MIRACLE!”

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2009-04-08 (8)
During the time before we let the fosters out into the house, we need a way to stop them from getting away when we open the door to the room where they are. We were using a box, but it was flimsy. I tried to get Fred to build something for me, but before he got around to it, I saw the fireplace screen and a lightbulb went on over my head. It’s the right size, the kittens can’t push it over, and they don’t really try to climb it. It’s perfect!

You’ll note that they’re all trying to get Tommy’s attention, but he cannot be bothered to give them the time of day.

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Previously
2008: Detective Boogerton, the grizzled, cranky veteran detective who has seen it all, is disgruntled that his day off has been interrupted.
2007: No entry.
2006: FYI.
2005: Meme.
2004: Lime green would work.
2003: I called Fred at one point and said “Maybe it’s SARS!”
2002: Well, you can just bite my coconut-scented, soft, smooth, butt.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.

4/7/09

Random things that make me twitch: 1. Could of/ should of/ would of. No. NO. There is NO SUCH ANIMAL as “could of.” What you’re trying to say (write) is “could’ve,” which is short for “could have.” Please stop. Every time I read something along the lines of “I could of kicked him!” I have … Continue reading “4/7/09”

Random things that make me twitch:

1. Could of/ should of/ would of. No. NO. There is NO SUCH ANIMAL as “could of.” What you’re trying to say (write) is “could’ve,” which is short for “could have.” Please stop. Every time I read something along the lines of “I could of kicked him!” I have a tiny little aneurysm, and one day I will fall over dead and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT. STOP IT.

2. Robin Tunney. Jesus god in heaven, please stop me from smacking her across the face until my arm aches. While I will admit that she’s a passably good actress, I SUPPOSE, her super-pouty face makes me want to hurt her.

3. Microfiber. My hideous, dry-ass hands always get caught in the fibers of micro, and it is a singularly unpleasant feeling. I don’t wear microfiber underwear, I refuse to clean with microfiber cleaning cloths, I DON’T CARE HOW WELL THEY CLEAN, I can’t stand the feel of the fibers plucking at my super-dry skin, and my home will always be a microfiber-free zone. PROMISE.

4. My super-dry hands. Look. I slather lotion on my body from head to toe as soon as I get out of the shower, and then that’s generally it until after the sixteenth time I wash crap (sometimes literally) off my hands, and I think “Wow, my hands are gross and dry!” and then I lotion them up, but then I ALWAYS have to wash my hands like ten seconds after I’ve put the lotion on them, and I’ve tried that whole thing where you put Vaseline on your hands and then put gloves on over the Vaseline and sleep with the gloves on (or at least a few hours, whereupon I wake up, yank off the gloves, and toss them on the floor), but it doesn’t help. AT ALL. Stupid hands.

5. Cats licking themselves and making that slurpy smacking sound. Every night. EVERY NIGHT. Every night I settle down to read for a while before bed, and Miz Poo settles down next to me, and she starts grooming herself. She grooms her face. She grooms her ears. She grooms her chest. But then as soon as she hits her mid-section, she starts making that SLURPY SMACKING noise, and she might as well be driving an ice pick through my eardrums, because it takes about ten seconds of that sound before I lose my mind. I poke at her and say “Stop it.” She looks at me, appalled at my nerve, pauses, stares off into space, tucks her paws under her and closes her eyes, and then I go back to reading. AND THEN IT BEGINS AGAIN. Like I’m not there and can’t HEAR her. GODDAMN. So we go through the poke-stop it-acting-like-she’s-gonna-stop routine at least twice more before I put my book down, look her in the eye and say “Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you going to MAKE me run you off the bed?” She sighs and settles down for real most nights, sighing her put-upon sigh, but some nights she MUST make that slurpy smacking sound, it’s apparently MANDATORY, and so she jumps down off the bed, travels two feet away, and commences slurpy-smacking. Which is when I sit up and shake the can of compressed air at her until she runs out the door, sending a wounded look over her shoulder at me.

6. Is that cat pee? Is that cat pee? Or isn’t it? Do you smell that? You don’t smell that? Put your face right here next to mine, and sniff. No? Maybe? Well, help me find it! ::sniff::sniff::sniff:: It’s not the couch. It’s not the couch pillows. There’s nothing on the ottoman. The table? No, not the table. Sniff that part of the rug, Boogie was sniffing that part of the rug earlier with great interest and vigor. I’ll check the corner by the stairs. No, nothing here. By the door? The fireplace? Let me get the black light. Is that -? No, right, that was there. God, we sure do have a lot of fuzz on our couch. Well, I don’t see anything. Maybe it wasn’t cat pee. You’re sure you don’t smell it? I don’t smell it now, either. Hm.

7. What the fuck is that smell? Jesus CHRIST, what is that smell? Do you smell that? Right? Did something die somewhere? It’s not the litter boxes. It’s not the compost bucket. Is it the pig bucket? No. OH GOD. Did you throw FOOD in the trash can LIKE A WEEK AGO? I ought to TIE THIS AROUND YOUR NECK and make you wear it! Would you take the trash out, please?

What makes YOU twitch?

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Oddly enough, cleaning the litter boxes and/ or wiping kittens’ behinds does not make me twitch. Much.

I never did get any cleaning done yesterday (ran to Sam’s and got home just in the nick of time to pack up the kittens and take them to the vet), so off I go to start. I think I’ll start by relaxing with the kittens and then maybe swiping in a desultory manner at some dusty furniture.

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The really good news for today is that all the kittens went to the vet and were tested for feline leukemia (FeLV) and feline immunodeficiency virus (FIV), and all came back negative. That’s great news – I’ll admit, I was worried, but all my worry was for naught.

I was actually going to leave Beulah at home because she’s still so tiny I didn’t think they’d be able to get blood from her. But she’s never been alone, and I didn’t want her to get lonely, so I popped her in the carrier, and they decided to go ahead and give it a try, and were able to get enough blood for the test. Yay!

(I will tell you, it was NO FUN sitting in the waiting room of the clinic hearing my babies cry from the back of the clinic. They did NOT enjoy having blood drawn, and they were scared. I gave them lots of love when we got home, and they seem to have forgiven me.)

They’ve also had their initial vaccinations, and now we can relax until they’re all over two pounds and can be spayed and neutered!

(Well, like I said, it’ll probably be quite a while before Miss Beulah’s big enough to be spayed, so probably her brothers and sister will go when they’re all over two pounds.)

Since their tests came back negative, it’s safe for them to mingle with our cats, so in the next few days I’m going to start giving them more room to roam. With the judicious use of baby gates, I’ll let them explore the bathroom (which is the room closest to their room), and then probably will quickly allow them the run of the entire upstairs. I expect it won’t be too long before they’re racing through the entire house, and I can’t even imagine what that’ll be like!

2009-04-06 (6)
It’s like a clown car! You think we could cram another kitten or two in here?

More kitten pics (and a video!) over at L&H.

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2009-04-07
“You are going to let those noisy, stinky little kittens…. OUT of their room? I don’t believe I care for that thought. At all. Is this up for negotiation, perhaps? Like, you don’t let them out, and I don’t barf on your keyboard?”

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Previously
2008: She turned and glared her “FUCK YOU” glare at me, and went along her way.
2007: No entry.
2006: You WISH you were me.
2005: Off to Gatlinburg.
2004: Our palates are too immature, I suppose.
2003: Now I know why, when the camera and sound guy were setting up and I chirped “Oh, is this the camera that’s going to make me look like Ashley Judd?”, everyone laughed so hard.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Then he and the spud went swimming yesterday, since the pool’s up to a sultry 66.

4/6/09

It Ain’t Easy Being Dinner. Couldn’t’ve said it better myself. Fred processed ten chickens (mostly roosters) Saturday. It took two and a half hours, but he shouldn’t have to do it again anytime soon – we get at least two meals from each chicken, sometimes more. He decided about mid-week that it was time to … Continue reading “4/6/09”

It Ain’t Easy Being Dinner. Couldn’t’ve said it better myself.

Fred processed ten chickens (mostly roosters) Saturday. It took two and a half hours, but he shouldn’t have to do it again anytime soon – we get at least two meals from each chicken, sometimes more. He decided about mid-week that it was time to cull some of the roosters from the flock (you can only have so many roosters to so many hens – otherwise the girls walk around with bare spots on their backs, and the roosters fight each other all the time), and was dreading it so much that he woke at 2:30 Saturday morning and couldn’t get back to sleep.

He wanted to get it done and over with, but first we had to go to the dump, and then we had to wait for a woman who was buying eggs (she was coming with her grandchildren to see the pigs and chickens, and Fred didn’t think it was a great idea for some little kids to get THAT face-to-face with the farm life), and then he had a phone conversation with his sister, who wanted to come out and see the pigs (she and her husband are purchasing half of one of the pigs) and chickens, and when she found out Fred was processing chickens asked if she could buy a couple of them. He doesn’t particularly like the idea of selling our chickens to other people – like he says, if we get salmonella from them, that’s one thing; if he makes someone else sick, it’s an entirely other thing – but in the end she talked him into selling her a couple.

So, the woman showed up with her grandkids and got her instructions on how to hatch eggs, and then Fred started processing chickens, and I expected that his sister and her daughter would show up at any time, but he actually got the chickens processed and we put them in bags and got them into the refrigerator before they showed up. Fred showed them the big chicken coop and the chickens and pigs, and then I took them up to see the kittens, who were very well-behaved (well, except for Phinneas, who was startled by my sister-in-law when she bent down to pick him up, and he hissed. Nothing less terrifying than a fluffy hissing kitten, is there?)

When they left, since neither of us had eaten since breakfast, we went into town and got Chinese food for late lunch/ early dinner.

In and amongst the waiting and the processing, I made some white Amish bread solely because we were originally planning on having hamburgers for dinner Saturday night, and I wanted to try using some of the dough to make hamburger buns. The hamburger buns came out really well, but the loaf of bread I made with the other half of the dough didn’t actually get baked long enough, and when I went to cut up the loaf Sunday morning, I realized that. When I took it out of the oven, I suspected it might not be done, but I ignored that instinct, damnit.

Ah well – the pigs will enjoy it!

I also made a batch of dog treats using pureed vegetables, and cooked the chicken livers Fred had saved for me, so that I could make another batch of treats for the dogs on Sunday.

(The smell of boiling chicken livers: gag me.)

Sunday, I didn’t have to get groceries (I’m doing that later today), so I slept in ’til 6:15 (I KNOW! Slacker!), then puttered around the house, hung out with the kittens, and then went into the kitchen to begin some more baking. A few weeks ago a local reader (hi Jean!) sent me the link to this article about and recipe for whoopie pies. I was skeptical whether they’d be the same as my favorite whoopie pies – the outside cookie/ cake part is no problem, but I have yet to find a recipe where the inside filling is right.

So I made the whoopie pies, and while the filling was tasty, the filling wasn’t right, and so the pigs got themselves quite a treat. Ah well – like I said to Jean, finding the right recipe for the filling will give me something to strive for.

Then I made a batch of liver treats for the dogs, and if boiling chicken livers = gag me, then baking chicken liver treats = gag me x 2. Especially later in the afternoon when I forgot there were treats in there cooling (once they’re done cooking, I leave them in the oven and turn it off so they’ll harden and cool) and turned the oven on to preheat it. I am not loving the smell of the liver treats, but the dogs seem to like them quite a bit. I’m sure they were getting bored with the peanut butter treats I’ve been giving them.

The rest of Sunday was pretty relaxing, I got to spend plenty of time with the kittens, and any day that includes a nap with a pile of purring kittens atop you is a good day, indeed.

Today, I’ll be making a run to Sam’s, swinging by the grocery store, and later I’ll be starting to clean the house. My parents are going to be here Thursday afternoon, and so it’s a good time to get some Spring cleaning done, although the damn weather has turned cold again and it feels more like Winter than Spring.

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Friday night, when we sat down to watch TV, Fred asked what I wanted to watch.

“We still have that movie from Netflix,” I reminded him.

“Oh,” he said, clearly not into the idea of watching Seven Pounds.

“Well, I’d like to give it ten minutes; if we don’t like it, we can watch something else.”

We started watching it, and about ten minutes in, he grumpily said “This movie is too confusing!”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “It’ll make sense eventually, ’cause they always gear movies toward the lowest common denominator.”

He laughed. “They do?”

“Will Smith movie, mainstream? Not one of those confusing artsy-fartsy we-don’t-have-to-make-sense-we’re-making-ART movies? They do. And we’re not the lowest common denominator. There’s someone out there watching this movie who’s dumber than we are, I guarantee it.”

During the scene about half an hour or so into the movie with Will Smith and Barry Pepper in the hotel room, I knew how the movie would end. Because I can’t keep knowledge like that to myself, I told Fred what was going to happen.

He looked at me appreciatively. “I bet you’re right! I never would have guessed that!” He laughed. “You might not be the lowest common denominator, but apparently I am!”

As it turned out, I was right about the ending. It wasn’t a bad movie, all in all – I’ve certainly seen worse.

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I did the weekly weigh-in with the kittens last night. Phinneas continues to be the heaviest, at 1 pound 12 ounces, and Beulah gained a whopping 1.5 ounces this week and weighs in at 11 ounces.

Everyone else is right around 1 and a half pounds.

At the current rate, I imagine that everyone but Beulah will hit two pounds (and thus be ready for spaying and neutering) in three weeks or so. And that Beulah won’t hit two pounds until she’s six months old!

My sister-in-law and niece stopped by yesterday to see the pigs and chickens, and of course I had to take them up to admire the kittens. All the kittens were like “Yay! People to give us love!”, although Phinneas was startled by my sister-in-law, and actually hissed at her when she picked him up.

(Which, I think, kind of charmed her!)

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I love this kitten. LOVE HER.

More kitten pics over at L&H.

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Yesterday around mid-day, Fred said “Where does Upstairs Mama hang out during the day?” and I said “The top of the bookcase in the front room, or outside. Why?” He shrugged and said “I just wanted to see her.” He couldn’t find her, so we figured she’d found herself a hidey-hole. This is the cat, after all, who went up the chimney in the front room last summer and hung out.

Yesterday evening I realized I hadn’t seen her all day, and by 5:00 she’s usually hanging out in the kitchen giving me the hopeful “Is it Snackin! Time! yet?” eyes.

“When was the last time you saw Kara?” I asked Fred. I was worried that, despite her electric fence collar, she’d managed to get out of the back yard.

He gasped. “You don’t think she’s in my room, do you?!”, and he raced up the stairs. Opened the door. Said “Hey, Mama!”, and when I reached the bottom of the stairs, she came racing past me.

That poor thing had spent over 12 hours in Fred’s room without food or water and without access to a litter box, and didn’t make a single sound. She also didn’t pee in his room anywhere.

“That means she’s one of the good ones!” Fred informed me.

Indeed.

2009-04-06 (1)
This picture makes me laugh and laugh.

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Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: No entry.
2006: Now, I’m sure I’d rather be skinny and bald than fat and hairified, but what I’d MUCH prefer to be is skinny and hairified, thanks.
2005: I think that a more accurate description would be “covered the annoyance of itching by making your skin feel as though you’re being set on fire.”
2004: Meme.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Fred’s such a bastard.

4/3/09

It sure would be nice if we had, like, a week or two without torrential rain. It rained so hard last night that the back forty was nothing but water (and oddly enough, the dogs thought it was AWESOME). At least it drained off quickly and it’s not supposed to rain today. For the last … Continue reading “4/3/09”

It sure would be nice if we had, like, a week or two without torrential rain. It rained so hard last night that the back forty was nothing but water (and oddly enough, the dogs thought it was AWESOME). At least it drained off quickly and it’s not supposed to rain today. For the last couple of weeks (or so it seems), we’ve had a lovely, sunny day and then a rainy day, sunny then rainy, and so forth. Fred’s itching to get the new shade structure built on the front of the big coop, but the water level is too high, and he can’t set the posts. Also, he wanted to plant the garden next week, but it’s too wet to till. It’s driving him a little crazy, all this wet weather.

It’s actually supposed to get down to freezing again early next week. Ugh.

We watched Slumdog Millionaire, started it Wednesday night and finished it last night. To be honest, when the movie started I was like “Oh, I don’t think I’m interested in this…”, and I was flipping through a magazine, but as the movie went on I got more and more into it, and in the end I have to say – that’s one damn good movie!

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A quick tip that may save you time/trouble – if the only thing that is making you want to switch cable tv providers is price….call your current provider and say, i’m gonna quit you because this place can give me the same service for $25 less. Escalate it to a supervisor if need be, and I’m betting that you get your $25 discount and don’t have to wait for a new provider to come out and install the dish, etc etc. 🙂

It usually works, and i would imagine in these times it might work even better.

I thought that the only thing making us want to switch was the price, but I found out that apparently Dish N3twork offers all High-Definition channels and Dir3ct TV doesn’t. Or something like that. I honestly don’t ever notice whether something’s in High Def or not – it’s all the same to me. But in the end we’ve got High Def – which makes Fred happy – and a lower cost, which makes us both happy. So it’s all good!

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Do any of your cats, drown their “victims” in the water bowl? Gus has started to put the milk lid rings into the water dish which is scary. My mom’s kitten has taken over a Beanie Baby cat as his friend/victim. He daily puts his buddy into his water dish – usually more than once a day. So far, my mom has had the wet bb dropped on her head from the bed’s headboard in the middle of the night and a mark left on the headboard in the outline of a wet bb. I sure hope Gus doesn’t start drowning his victims and bringing them to me in bed. Yikes.

I’ve heard that sometimes cats put things in their water dish so that they can see where the surface of the water is – but if they’re dunking their toys and then bringing them to you, god knows what that’s all about!

In our first house, I used to find toys in the litter box ALL the time. I figured it was the cat version of reading on the toilet.

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About Big Love. I just read that it WAS picked up for another season. On February 5, HBO announced that it was renewed for a 4th season, set to premiere in 2010. YAY!!

Yay! Only, now that I don’t have HBO, I’m going to have to wait ’til 2011 to see it! Boo!

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So, am I the only one who searched for mywifeisaravingbitch.com? I’ll just slink away now.

I checked to make sure it wasn’t a real site before I mentioned it. Heh.

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I came across this link the other day, and tried making the bread, it was awesome! I though you might like to give it a try with your bread making adventures.. at least with this one you don’t have to do anything, it just takes time!
Here is the link to the article – and the link to the bread recipe.

The only reason I haven’t made the No-Knead Bread yet is because I actually don’t have a dutch oven or other heavy covered pot in the right size, if you can believe it. That’s the next thing I need to get, I think!

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I don’t seem to have spraying cats, I have door molding shredding cats. Drives me crazy! Got a fix for that?

How about this Sticky Paws double-sided tape stuff? I put some on the back of Fred’s office chair, and the back of the couch, and it seems to work pretty well, actually! (If your door moldings are painted, though, I’d probably be worried about it pulling the paint off.)

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Also, forgive me for not knowing but I did not know you had a brown tabby. Is this a new addition or perhaps Mr Boogers in camouflage?

That’s Kara – the mother cat who gave birth to kittens almost a year ago. Fred fell in love with her, so we had to adopt her – last Fall, in fact. She brought our permanent cat resident count up to double digits. ::sigh::

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Your photos of the new kitties have made me long for a kitten. I told my husband and he gave me a dirty look. But we have only 4 cats. That’s nothing, right?

I would say that having four cats is really not even in the realm of being a cat owner, you amateur. How can you tell you even HAVE cats? You don’t become a real cat owner ’til you’ve got six or more.

True story!

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Honey– exactly how many chickens do you have now? You need more?

What? You think 140 is too many for two people? Really? ‘Cause I’d like to see it around 200 in another two months. WE CAN DO IT!

(NOT.)

As far as the purebred flock we’re attempting to start (we got four hatched over the course of the past few days, and we should have another hatch beginning on Monday), for reasons completely mystifying to me, people pay a lot more for fertile Copper Black Marans eggs than they do for fertile “mutt” eggs. If we had a purebred flock and could sell a dozen or two a week (once they start laying), we’d come pretty close to being able to feed all our animals off the money those eggs brought in. “All our animals” including the dogs and cats – that would be pretty awesome.

2009-04-03 (6)
Newborn Copper Black Marans.

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I love to make BBQ sandwiches out of leftover Pork. I chop or shred the pork, mix my favorite BBQ sauce in, and serve it on a nice onion roll or sesame roll. Wonderful with some potato salad and cole slaw (personally, I like my coleslaw ON my BBQ sandwich!

I quote this comment because it made me think, for some reason, of the fact that when I first moved down here, I had no idea on earth that they put coleslaw ON BBQ sandwiches. One day I went and got BBQ for everyone in the office, and I opened the bag o’ food when I got back to work, and threw a fit because there was no coleslaw in the bag. Which is when Fred stepped in and gave me the you’re-an-idiot look and told me that the coleslaw was on the sandwich.

Oh.

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you poor thing! I hate the feeling of not being able to move from the mud – I did the same thing last summer at the off-road vehicle park. I felt like a dumbass. But with you wearing your boots, it reminds me of the time that Ramona Quimby got herself stuck and she couldn’t move and there was a picture of a tow truck pulling her out by her raincoat. LOL She coulnd’t bear to leave her boots behind so someone had to come back and rescue her boots too. That sounds like something you might do.

Oh, I was NOT leaving the vicinity of that damn ditch without my boots, believe you me. If I’d had to crawl out of the ditch and then turned around and yanked the boots out, I would have. If I’d had to make Fred go get the tractor and pull them out with heavy chains I WOULD HAVE.

NO BOOTS LEFT BEHIND, that’s my motto! (I paid too goddamn much for those boots to lose them to some stupid muddy ditch!)

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There are houses across the road/street from you! For some reason I’ve always imagined an open field there, with the only neighbors being the ones next door.

No, we’ve got neighbors – not as many, and not as close as we did in the ‘burbs, but they’re certainly there. This is what it looks like from the front porch:

2009-04-03 (1)
Standing on the front porch, looking to the left. That flash of yellow is the sign for the Dollar Store. That white building is a little strip of stores. The red car is on the access road that runs from the strip of stores to the street that comes out right across the road from our ditch.

2009-04-03 (2)
Directly across the street – an empty field. I hope it stays empty forever!

2009-04-03 (3)
Turning toward the right.

2009-04-03 (4)
And to the right. Neighbors across the street (but not TOO close), and across from them (next to us), is the church.

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What were all those firemen and such doing while you were wollering around?

I did not even look at those damn volunteers. Fred said he didn’t think anyone was even looking, but it didn’t occur to me to look over and see if they were laughing at me. Probably a good thing I didn’t, ’cause I’m sure I would have given them the finger or some other such classy gesture.

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And please tell me you weren’t wearing your super-cute Justin boots when this happened.

OF COURSE I WAS. They seem none the worse for wear, though – I sprayed them off, dried ’em out, and they’re good as new!

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Beulah does have an odd eye-to-head proportion/placement thing going on, but I think it’s because she’s still so runty. She’ll grow out of it, and Fred’ll be changing his tune.

Unlike my mother, who still calls my tortoiseshell Cassie “that ugly monkey-faced cat of yours.”

Katherine (who came over to admire the babies yesterday and then watch those damn Housewives of NYC with me) said that she can kind of see where Fred’s coming from.

I have to admit that I think of Beulah as the feline version of Nance‘s Felina. She’s got the big-headed googly-eyed thing going on, but I still think she is GORGEOUS.

Also, Fred thought that Flossie – here, let me show you a picture of Flossie:

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Fred thought Flossie was hideous because, and I QUOTE, “Her markings are asymmetrical.”

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Does the Spirea have a scent, and if so, what’s it smell like?

It has no scent at all, actually. Thank GOD it doesn’t smell like Bradford Pear trees in bloom.

(And too bad it doesn’t smell like Winter Honeysuckle, because that stuff smells amazing – a light lemony fragrance that I wish I could bottle.)

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Looking at Red Friendly and Charlie got me to wondering how many of your hundreds of chickens have names?

Not that many, actually – the problem is that for a chicken to have their own name, we need to be able to distinguish it from all the other chickens, so the Buff Orpingtons are known collectively as “The Buffys”, but don’t each have their own name.

The chickens who do have names are: Mister Friendly (the speckled black and white chicken born in November, so named because he’s a friendly little guy), Red Friendly (ditto on the friendliness), Michelle the Rooster (named after a reader!), Charlie (named because of her twisted-up toes), George (who looks just like Charlie, but doesn’t have the twisted-up toes), Sassy (the black chicken who leaves the back forty every day to lay her egg in her childhood coop), the Rock Star (which is really more a description than a name), the Featherheads (again – description, not really name), and The Assholes (who are not long for this world – so named because they are so fucking rough on the hens. They’re gorgeous but THEY SURE ARE ASSHOLES).

Chickens who are no longer around that had names (and let me just say, people who say don’t name your chickens ’cause then you won’t eat ’em? WRONGO.): Flappy (the first to be eaten and SHE WAS TASTY), Frick (who died of natural causes – or at least, WE didn’t kill her. We suspect she was eggbound. Easter Eggers lay pretty eggs, but they surely are not dependable layers) and Bob, who I liked a great deal, but you can only have so many roosters in a flock. Edited to add: How could I have forgotten McLovin?? Our first rooster, who lives on in a ton of our chickens. Good ol’ McLovin.

I love wisteria, too! I’ve heard that it takes 7 years to establish itself and start blooming and I just don’t have that kind of patience!

I had no idea it takes so long to establish wisteria! I think it’s so pretty that I’ve mentioned the idea of having an arbor (made of hog panels) placed somewhere, with wisteria planted at the base. I guess I’d better get moving on that!

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What is a blow-in?

Those subscription cards they toss in all magazines that fall out all over the damn place. I don’t get WHY they include those even in the magazines you already subscribe to!

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The kittens had a visitor yesterday – the lady who adopted two of Kara’s kittens (then they were River and Inara – now they’re Nate and Dora, which I think fits them better!) stopped by to visit, and the kittens handled it quite well. They weren’t skittish or scared of her at all (did I mention that it’s nice to have a bunch who are so friendly?) and in fact just considered her another person to climb on and be petted by (and entertain!).

We had a lot of rain last night, and we were watching TV when suddenly the ceiling in the living room started to leak. I went upstairs to so what was going on, and the ceiling in the closet of the foster room was leaking. We just got a new roof like a month ago! So the roof guy’s coming to investigate the source of the leak, and the kittens will get another visitor.

I hope he likes kittens!

2009-04-03 (9)
Jasper, appalled.

More kitten pics over at L&H.

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2009-04-03 (5)
“Oh, is it snack time already?”
(Fred was taking the babies out to the brooder and set them on the cat bed while he put his shoes on. They were very popular with Tommy, to say the least.)

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Previously
2008: I don’t, for the record, covet the struggle anymore.
2007: At least the floors are clean.
2006: Fred was no help, because he was standing there laughing his ass off.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: Nothing, by the way, pisses me off more than the crap that gets installed with the program you really want – Office 2000, I’m looking at you and your crappy Outlook friend.
2002: Mother Nature is getting ON MY NERVES.
2001: No entry.
2000: So if rainy days and Mondays always got me down, I guess I’d have been suicidal today.