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11-30-07

by @ Friday, November 30th, 2007. Filed under Life

* * * It’s now possible to get an And3rson Kitty 2008 Calendar, here. It’s also possible to get an And3rson Foster Kitty 2008 Calendar, here. I’ll keep linking to them in the body of my entry until I get my lazy ass around to putting a link in the sidebar. Both calendars are marked up $1 from the base price. As always, any profits will go to the kitty shelter.

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The Friday comment-answering extravaganza! We lost our kitty Archie last week. He was an old guy but very well loved. Our other cat, Felix (she’s female but we didn’t name her) has started jumping on our bed to pee. She doesn’t pee anywhere else in the house, just rushes into the bedroom if anyone leaves the door open a bit, jumps on the bed and lets loose. It’s driving me insane — we have handmade quilts that can’t take much more washing without falling apart. (Frankly, I’d rather have the quilts than Felix at this point.) Do you think that Felix is reacting to Archie’s death by pissing on his favourite resting-place? (Archie always slept on our bed.) She’s healthy, has a good appetite, is up on all her shots, so we’re pretty certain this is behavioural, not medical. It seems pretty clear – given the timing of it – that her peeing on your bed is a reaction to Archie’s absence. I’m not sure what to advise – readers? – but I’d for sure check with your vet and see if there’s anything you can do to break her of the behavior. There’s nothing nastier-smelling than cat pee, I know!
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Reading about foster kitty Skittles gave me an (obvious and probably already suggested) idea for future foster kitty names. Candies! How about Peppermint, Chocolate, Twix, Hershey, Runt, Spree, Caramel, or Snickers? Or, you could go a little more upscale and focus on the “exotic” chocolate brand names like Ghirardelli, Dove, Toblerone, and Lindt. I’m fairly certain that Twix and Spree have been used in the past, but I really like the “exotic” chocolate names. I’m going to file that away in my “kitty names” folder for future use!
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Ok, lets see the shirts. One looks like this, and the other one is the same shirt, in a different color. You’re not getting me to put the shirt on and take a picture – the problem is not how I look in it (Fred thinks I look fine), the problem is that it makes me uncomfortable wearing it because it won’t! stop! TOUCHING ME! MOOOOOOOOOM! Make the shirt stop touching me!
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If you show us a picture of you wearing the shirts that touch parts of your body that are not your neck and wrists, and you get tens of comments that tell you that you look marvelous in them, would you consider wearing them – on the off chance that you would actually get USED to that feeling of fabric touching your skin? No – like I said above, it’s not how I look, it’s how I feel. I know it’s ridiculous, but I don’t know that a lifetime of not wanting my clothes to touch me can be overcome by immersion therapy.
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So Poo doesn’t count as Part Orange? Sadly, she didn’t even come to mind when I thought of the orange kitties. Maybe because I think of her as being mostly black – or maybe because she’s NOT a happy cat the way Spanky, Sugarbutt, and Newt are. Looking at her, I guess I’d call her about 1/8 orange, so 2 1/2 + 1/8 = 5/2 + 1/8 = 20/8 + 1/8 = 21/8 = 2 5/8. We have 2 5/8 orange kitties.
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Why is Stinkerbelle not on the Kitties Page? Why no love for the Stinky? Only because I haven’t gotten around to it. It’s on my “to do” list though, rest assured!
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Oh, I just had a thought. Don’t you have a birthday coming up soon? Hmmm. I shall be forty on January 9th. Woot!
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Yeah! You were a Girl Scout! I’m extremely involved in Scouting in my town. I am the manager for my town plus I run 3 Girl Scout troops plus I also am on the Cub Scout Committee. How long were you a Girl Scout? Do you feel that you’re a better person today because of your experience? I hate to let you down, but mostly what I remember about my Girl Scout experience is having to sell those damn cookies. Oh, and the time my troop went camping and we were camping somewhere on base where we weren’t supposed to be, so we had to leave…? Maybe? It’s not clear to me anymore. My mother was a Scout leader for a few years when we lived in Guam – so I was a Brownie and then a Girl Scout. And then I was a Girl Scout for two years? I think? Through 5th grade, anyway. Then we moved to where my parents live now, and I don’t think I was in Girl Scouts any longer. I don’t know that Girl Scouts had much of an impact on who I am today, but I could be wrong. Who knows?
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I was recently determined to have an underactive thyroid, and have been prescribed Synthroid. I remember you switching up your pill taking routine – but can’t remember why! It says to take it first thing in the a.m., but I’m more keen to take it at bedtime. Couldn’t remember the reasons (if you did) change your time of dose. I think for a few years I was taking my Synthroid at bedtime instead of in the morning. I’m not sure why the prescription always says to take it first thing in the morning, but my doctor seemed to think it was okay to take it at night, as long as it was on an empty stomach. I was taking it at bedtime because that was most convenient for me, to brush my teeth, take my birth control, and take my Synthroid all at once. These days I take it in the morning, but only because I keep the pill container near the hair dryer, so it’s convenient for me to take it then. I’d check with your doctor, of course, but I don’t think it matters so much when you take it, as much as it being on an empty stomach.
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Robyn, have you heard the KATG remix for the PHENOMENUOOAAGGHH!!! song? They have it on their myspace player now. I have, and I’ve downloaded it, and I listen to it at least once a day. I only wish it opened with Keith screaming “PHENOMENUOOAAGGHH!,” instead of with the music, because I would totally use that as my ring tone!
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Even though we know that every day is a holiday for the And3rson kitties, 😉 do you hang stockings for them and/or buy gifts? I don’t hang stockings for them – we have two mantels, but we’d run out of room pretty damn quick, with nine stockings, and besides, the cats are such pains in the ass, they’d surely yank them down as soon as they were hung – but I always buy them a toy or two. This year I bought them this one, and I’ll be buying them a few Fat Cat toys, too. They love those toys. Also, I’ll probably make them a bed that fits the top of the stair unit Fred made for the front room. They won’t appreciate it, though. Spoiled little brats!
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Can you hold off your week vacation to the 2nd week of January? I’ll be on vacation from the 8th to the 16th. Going over 2 weeks without Robyn ‘n gang – I’ll die. Someone quick – come up with a January themed daily posting challange. I know – New Year’s Resolutions – Post Daily! Hee! Don’t even JOKE about an every-day-in-January challenge! I haven’t decided exactly which week in January I’ll take off – but I’ll be sure to let y’all know!
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Our sweet tabby, Candy, is about 17 years old. He’s in pretty good condition, at least I think he is – hard to be totally sure, since he sleeps about 22 hours a day, but I think that’s normal for an old guy. We have a pet door and safe enclosed yard, so he comes and goes as he pleases, which I think has been a factor in his good health. He can still leap up onto the furniture, and he eats and drinks as always. The only thing is that he seems to be having grooming issues. We are trimming his nails more now, and that seems to help with the “Help, I’m stuck on the side of the chair and I can’t get up” syndrome. But now we’re noticing he’s sprouting dreadlocks on his back! Do you think it’s an age-related thing? Should we cut them off? They’re pretty funky. I bet it’s a flexibility issue – he’s gotten older and can’t reach back there the way he used to be able. If Candy’s okay with being brushed, I highly recommend the FURminator brush. We use it on Spot when he’s starting to look ratty, and it removes an amazing amount of hair with minimal effort. If Candy doesn’t like to be brushed, then yeah – go ahead and trim the knots off his back. It’ll certainly help him look a little better!
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Re: Grocery clerk with attitude. Is it the same clerk that got pissed off (waaaaay back) when she realized that you were Fred’s wife? Maybe she’s just a jealous snag. I honestly don’t remember a grocery clerk getting pissed off when she realized I’m Fred’s wife. I remember one being surprised, but not one giving us attitude. Which isn’t to say that it didn’t happen – just that I don’t remember it! In any case, this clerk was one that didn’t look at all familiar to me, so it probably wasn’t her.
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Ok, I can understand changing the ingredients of a recipe around a bit, but what made her think it was a good idea to bake the pie twice as long as the recipe said?! That seems silly to me! and Okay, so did the double-baked pie snap with a little poof of pumpkin dust when you bit into it? I should have mentioned this when I told the story – the pumpkin pie was just perfect, not overcooked or anything. I suspect that either she set the oven temperature wrong or there’s something going on with their oven. She cooked it that long because she kept testing the pie and it wasn’t done, so she’d cook it for another ten minutes and test it, and so on. But no – it was a perfect pumpkin pie, not overcooked in the slightest. Another story about Fred’s mother – she said they have a quick start button on their microwave that, when you press it, it cooks whatever you have in there for 38 seconds. We have a quick start button, too, only it cooks for 30 seconds. So Fred and his sister were teasing her, telling her that it must be for 30 seconds rather than 38, but she insisted it was 38. Fred stopped by there on Monday to return the container they’d brought the pie in, but he didn’t think to look at their microwave to settle the issue.
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Hhmmmm. I see a new permanent addition to the household, aka Miss Stinkerbelle — anyone else taking bets?? Or, did I miss an entry already announcing her residency, ha?? Yeah, you must have missed that one – it was back in September. And keeping her was ALL Fred’s decision, not mine. The first time ever that he wanted to keep a cat and I didn’t!
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Hi Robyn… you HAVE to visit this link; it’s instant happiness! That is AWESOME. I keep going back and listening to it!
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I haven’t been reading long enough to have participated in getting a card from you. But I have a question: how do you defray the postage? It seems pretty expensive (and extremely nice) of you to do that. It is expensive, but it’s the big thing I like to do every year – that along with the post cards I send out from Maine every summer – and so Fred doesn’t complain too much about it. He just smiles and makes me send a few cards out to his message board friends. Basically, we eat the cost, and consider it worth it. It’s the one thing that really gets me into the holiday mood every year.
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I was sitting at work today and someone passed along a Pottery Barn catalogue and I saw the cutest REINDEER DINNERWARE and that got me thinking, have you ever thought of naming foster kitties REINDEER names? You know Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen? I thought of that last year when we had Kringle and Jack Frost, but the reindeer names have all been used. The shelter prefers that we use names that haven’t been used before, so those are off the table.
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Just wanted to share another cat window seat with you all. We have a 16-18 pound 14 year old BIG kitty and very high windows. We found a sturdy, and large, window seat for him that is absolutely awesome. BIG kitty is pretty picky, so we had to shop around quite a bit. We ended up with this and he adores it. The frame is all wood and well put together. It would be great for 2 smaller cats or one great big kitty! It fits very well with our smaller windows and was super easy to put together. However, it is quite a bit more pricey than the one you posted, but seems much more durable (and bigger for those portly kitties!). I just went and looked at that, and said to Fred, “I bet you could build something like that!”, and he said “Is it your goal to keep me so busy with building things that I forget that I want goats?” Drats! Foiled again!
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You guys mention the hawks checkin’ out the girlz pretty frequently….is there any chance of them picking one of them up and flying away with her? There’s always a chance – hawks do that sort of thing frequently, I believe – but our girls have plenty of hiding places, so I don’t think they’re seriously at risk for being snatched up. I could be wrong, though!
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Many years ago, my mother checked a book out from the library; I read part of it, but never got to finish it. It was about a young woman who lived in a very old-fashioned and rigidly-moraled community of fishermen. I suppose the book could be classified as fantasy, but in sort of an “alternate reality” sense. (No swords or dragons or faerie, not that there’s anything wrong with them.) The young woman was in love with a young man, who was unfortunately away for a while (lost at sea?). Another man in the community had taken an interest in her, and had asked her to marry him. The community had some sort of a law where, upon the third request of the man, the woman was obligated to marry him – regardless of her preference. The man took advantage of her beloved’s absence to ask her to marry him three times (she tried to avoid him, but he accosted her while she was gathering seaweed or shells or something, hence my thinking that “The Shell Seekers” might be the book), and she was trying to delay the marriage to allow for her beloved’s return. In the eyes of the community, this made her something akin to a witch or possessed woman, and there was a lot of outrage that she was trying to “buck the system” by not marrying this guy. She may have in fact been a healer or spell-crafter of some sort; I think she lived alone at the edge of the village, but I’m not sure. In addition, there was some kind of genetic flaw (because of the small size of the community) such that very few of the community’s babies survived, to the extent that babies were not even recognized until they had lived for a week, or maybe a month (that is to say, the mothers were not allowed out of the house and no one was allowed in, not even the husband/father). The young woman’s friend had a baby who, predictably, died, and the young woman was baffled and a bit annoyed by her friend’s grief – after all, she should have expected it. Some time later, the young woman has her own baby (by the beloved? the unwanted suitor? I don’t know!!!!) and when it dies, she regrets her earlier impatience with her friend. That is all I remember, and those details may not even be correct – but they’re close. Does ANYONE recognize this book?? Or anything like it? I need a good new source for alternate-reality fiction. That doesn’t sound familiar to me at ALL. Readers? Ringing a bell for anyone?
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You neglected to mention how many freezers you’d have to have for milk, if you had your own cow. 😉 Heh. I bet we could freeze enough milk to get us through the rest of our lives before we slaughtered the cow, couldn’t we? We have two big freezers right now. I’d bet we’d need one more just for the milk!
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I’m glad I didn’t have the opportunity to purchase anything from that woman. [The hoarder on Oprah] Didn’t they mention throwing out all of the upholstered furniture due to black mold? Yeah, I think they said that something like 90 percent of her furniture was destroyed by black mold. Which makes you wonder what kind of shape those thousands and thousands of purses were in. Maybe that’s why everything was so cheap!
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I have a kitty behavior problem, too (well, it’s not my problem, but I’m curious about it. Maybe someone can give me more info than Googling provided. My parents got a kitten several months ago, to help distract my dad from worrying about an upcoming cancer surgery. The cat bonded to my dad instantly, curled up in his lap and fell asleep whereas he’d been skittish about any of us holding him. He was a sweet, affectionate, wonderful kitty. After a few months, he started scratching and biting. No particular reason – not during petting sessions or anything like that; he’ll just run up to where you are and smack you, claws out and digging. If you move, he bites – and I don’t mean a nip. He draws blood. My dad’s on blood thinners because of complications after the surgery, so they decided to have the cat declawed. My dad’s skin is very thin or something, and even a tiny little bump will make him bleed; the cat’s scratches were keeping him covered in Band-Aids and blood. So, naturally (and I told them this would happen) after he got declawed, he resorted to biting. He bites everybody, and again, it’s not a “too much petting” thing. Here’s an example: My dad left the front door open and Doc went out to look around. My dad was ready to go back in, but Doc wouldn’t come in, so my dad picked him up and brought him in. (Gently and without yelling, he was sweet-talking the cat the whole time.) Doc stood in the foyer for a minute, bathed himself quickly, then jumped up on a ledge by the door and bit the hell out of my dad when he walked by. He doesn’t hiss or puff up his fur or flatten his ears, whip his tail around or in any other way show that he feels threatened or aggressive. He’s very calm and laid back sometimes (I gave him some turkey on Thanksgiving, held it in my fingers and let him nibble at it; I’d thought he was gonna snarf it all and take my finger with him, but he was very polite) but then will just, for no apparent reason, walk up and try to take a chunk out of someone. We had stuff sitting on the ledge between the foyer and the kitchen; my son turned around to look at one of the things, and Doc ran around to the other side of the ledge, jumped up on it, and started “Bop!Bop!Bop!Bop!”ing TJ’s hand, slapping at it and making lunging movements like he was gonna bite. He’s never been abused, my dad treats him like a demigod, the water bottle causes him to look at you and go, “What? Bitch.” Yelling and telling him “NO!” doesn’t even get a response, to the point that I wondered if he was deaf. Walking away doesn’t work, because he’ll follow you – just to get a chance to bite you. My mom said something jokingly the other day about, “Well, we got his claws out, I guess we’ll have to have the vet pull his teeth now,” and although she was joking, it alarmed me that she had even *thought* of it. All the “cat behavior” stuff focuses on “Your cat’s had too much petting and is trying to let you know to stop” but this cat bites and “Bop!”s whether you’re petting him or not. He goes out of his way to FIND you in order to bite you. The usual “spray bottle” and “shout NO!” techniques don’t work on this cat, and my dad’s damn near anemic from all the bleeding. (You should see his arms. Seriously, it’s bad.) Any thoughts or suggestions on (1) WHY he’s doing that when he’s always been treated so well (he’s been neutered, btw), (2) how to get him to STOP doing it when he’s impervious to the usual attention-getting techniques? I’m going to throw this one out to the readers – my only advice would be to talk to the vet and see what s/he recommends. Tommy has the habit of biting if we pet him for too long, but none of the cats jump from out of nowhere to bite, so I’m at a loss, myself. Readers?
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You’ve mentioned a few times that you and Fred drove up to Amish country in Tennessee. Where is that, exactly? Amish country, I mean. I’m familiar with where Tennessee is located 🙂 Thanks! I call them Amish, but actually they’re Mennonites. Just outside of Lawrenceburg, TN, in Ethridge. If you go up Highway 43 through Lawrenceburg into Ethridge, there are Amish galleries. If you either take a wagon tour or just take a left off Highway 43 around where the wagon tours are located, you’ll come to Mennonite houses. At the end of their driveways, there are signs advertising what they sell, and if you see something that interests you, you drive up to the house, and someone will come out to help you. (Alternately, you can stop at the Amish Country Mall and get a map of the Amish community.)
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didn’t you mention recently being slightly jealous when someone mentions Trader Joe’s because you are not near one. I feel the same about Steve and Barry’s -there are none in Northern CA, no Bitten for us. I just went to see if Trader Joe’s has opened any new stores lately. They’re opening in locations in Georgia, so maybe before I die, they’ll open one around here! So, yeah – I feel your pain!
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Could you comment again about the HORRID women on “The Real Housewives of O.C.” That show is so deliciously bad. God, I love that show. I love that Jeana and Vicki are going to boot camp, and Vicki’s having a cow because Jeana’s lost more weight than she has. Does it occur to her that Jeana’s GOT more weight to lose? Not that I think Jeana’s fat, but she’s larger than Vicki is, so it makes sense that she’d be losing weight faster. DUH, Vicki. I like Vicki, because she’s such a spaz, but if I hung out with her, I imagine that the hitting would get old FAST. I think Megan’s a little too overprotective of whatsherface. Her sister. The adorable blonde. Lindsey. Who is adorable, but could someone explain to her that leasing a car is not the same as buying one? Tamra got Botox this week, which answers the question, how is it that this woman is my age, but looks so much younger? I never noticed that her face doesn’t move whens she talks, ’til I saw the Botox injections (which made me cringe), and then the light dawned. I think she’s the prettiest Housewife, and I always thought that Lauri was very pretty, but when you Tamra and Lauri side by side, Laurie looks like she’s been plastic surgeried to within an inch of her life, and it’s not a good look. Like I said, Tamra’s pretty, but I imagine that hanging out with her would get annoying pretty quickly. Get in a room with her and Vicki, and they’d suck the oxygen right out of your lungs. That whole competitive shit with Tamra’s husband and her son is kind of creepy. Although when they were at the club and Tamra said “Simon (her husband) doesn’t get jealous, and I never get jealous, either” and then ten seconds later, she’s all “Why are you dancing with ANOTHER WOMAN?!”, I laughed and laughed. And lastly, the whole Jeana being separated from Matt? They just kind of glossed that over, didn’t they? Will the rest of the season be Jeana trolling for a new man? I bet it WILL. Maybe Kara can bring a new guy home from college, and Jeana can compete for attention from him!
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“Suuuuuuuuure I’m “not your cat,” lady. SURE.” When I get up in the morning, Maxi is always sleeping in this bed in the living room. All day long, she sleeps there. She asks to go out for a little while in the afternoon, then she comes back inside for snackin’ time, wanders around the house a bit, and then ends up back in this bed when we go off to bed. I think she spends 22 hours a day sleeping, 1 hour hunting, and 1 hour harassing the other cats.
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Previously 2006: That’s really a bitch of a way to start the day. 2005: “Au contraire,” said the ringleader. “We found a SESAME SEED!” 2004: I give it two weeks before someone barfs on the new comforter. 2003: No entry. 2002: No entry. 2001: “What will I do now that I don’t have to clean dust off my ball?” 2000: I’ll just not think about that. 1999: When she came to a stop, she sat up and swayed back and forth, blinking sleepily up at me.]]>

11-29-07

by @ Thursday, November 29th, 2007. Filed under Life

* * * So yesterday morning I had to do what I’d been putting off for a few weeks – go to Sam’s Club. I thought about going when we were down to two cases of water in the garage, but I just didn’t wanna, and Tuesday evening we hit critical mass with the water, so I knew I had to suck it up and get my ass in gear. I left the house around 9:30 and headed for Huntsville. First I stopped at Target, because I needed to look for Christmas gifts for my niece, and I’d gotten guidelines from my mother, and was ready to cross Mireya off my shopping list. I got a few outfits, and looked and looked for a plain, simple, pretty cardigan in the girl’s section, and would you imagine that they’d carry such an OBVIOUS item? Why, no. Of course not. I bought a few groceries, and then wandered around the Christmas section looking for a quick and simple (but cute) way to wrap gift cards, and bought a bunch of that stuff. I thought about buying wrapping paper, but I’ve got a ton of it left over from last year, it’s just a matter of finding it, so I didn’t. I perused the book section but didn’t buy any (NANCE), and by the time I got checked out and out to the car, I’d spent almost an hour in there. Leaving Target, I went over to the pet store to see which of my foster monkeys had been adopted – they do adoptions on Tuesday evenings – and was dismayed to find that of the five who’d been there Monday morning (it’s the KATG(2) bunch, and Rhian was adopted over the weekend), none of them had been adopted. DAMN IT. While I was there, I bought a few things (it’s against the law for me to leave the pet store without buying something whether we need it or not) and then headed out. I went to Sam’s Club, and holy CRAP that place was busy. I don’t know why that surprised me, because it’s always busy – Christmas shopping time, or no. I had a fairly extensive list, but ended up only buying water, toothbrushes, toothpaste, paper towels, and the new Dean Koontz book (hush up, Nance. It’s DEAN KOONTZ. I had no choice, I had to buy it!). Then I got to wait forever to check out because, despite the large number of people shopping at Sam’s, there were only three registers open. It was okay, though – there were plenty of people to watch, so watch them I did. From Sam’s I headed to the mall. When I walked into the mall, I found that a new store, dedicated to girls’ clothes, had opened since the last time I was there. Sure that I’d find what I needed, I went in and… of course I didn’t. Not a simple cardigan to be found ANYWHERE. Figures. It wasn’t like I HAD to find a cardigan – it was just something my mother mentioned that Mireya could use. But the fact that I couldn’t find one was driving me nuts and it was like a challenge. I ended up spending an hour and a half running around the mall going into every friggin’ store that carries girls’ clothes, looking for a SIMPLE, PLAIN CARDIGAN. Is that so much to ask for?! I think NOT. Among the running into stores that carried girls’ clothes, I went into Victoria’s Secret and bought three bottles of So Sexy (I prefer to call it “So Cheesy”, because that is the cheesiest name EVER) shampoo. I was going to buy two bottles, but when I found out that they’re 3 bottles for $21 rather than $9.50 each, I had to go grab another bottle. (And Fred, who uses $1-per-bottle Suave shampoo, is writhing in agony right now.) I was standing in line behind a young woman who was buying something – perfume, maybe? – and as the cashier rang up her order, she said “Do you have an Angel Card?” and when she found out that the young woman didn’t have one, she asked if she wanted one, and as I stood in line I hoped that when it was my turn to pay, the cashier would ask if I wanted to apply for an Angel Card, so I could get all indignant and say “I do NOT want to apply for your Angel Card, THANK YOU, because your interest rate is HORRIFYING, and besides, do I look like a woman who shops here all that often? Do I look like I need a pair of sweatpants that say “Spank me” across the ass? Do I? I DO NOT. I’ll just take my shampoo, THANK YOU.” Except that when it was my turn to pay the cashier just rang up my shampoo and didn’t say a word about any Angel Card. Which made me want to indignantly say “And why do I not DESERVE an Angel Card? ARE YOU CALLING ME OLD AND SHLUMPY AND FLABBY?” But I just smiled and paid and went along my way. I also stopped in Steve and Barry’s, which is the store that carries Sarah Jessica Parker’s Bitten clothing line. I looked in the girls’ section first to look for a cardigan (no cardigan. SHOCKER.), and then I stopped in the Bitten section, and I ended up buying a couple of shirts and a sweater and you just shut up. I tried the shirts on when I got home, but they… well, they TOUCH MY STOMACH and it makes me feel all self-conscious and itchy and why do clothes have to touch you? Why can’t I just buy bubble clothing that only touches me at the neck and knees? WHY? So I left the mall with shirts that I probably won’t wear and NO cardigan, but at least I have my good-smelling shampoo, so the day was certainly not a waste. On the drive home I realized I hadn’t eaten a single thing and it was after 1:00, which probably explained why I had a headache. I stopped at McDonald’s for a salad, and when I got home, I carried all my stuff inside (except for four of the cases of water I’d bought at Sam’s, because I’ll deal with that later), went out to let the chickens into the back yard, checked for eggs, and then I sat down and stuffed my face. And then I surfed on over to LLBean.com and bought Mireya a cardigan. A simple, plain cardigan. In pink, because she’s a girly-girl. I was so sleepy after I ate lunch and answered some email that I went and read for a little while, then turned over and napped for twenty minutes. I didn’t wake feeling too terribly refreshed, but after I’d stumbled around for a little while, I woke up. Today, I have no plans except for vacuuming the house. I’m going to settle in and watch some TV, probably, and I definitely need to go out to the garage and dig around for the wrapping paper and stuff, and maybe some decorations. I might even get started on the Holiday cards so that come Saturday (December 1st, since I refuse to send any out before that), a bunch will be ready to go out. Fred was all appalled at dinner yesterday when he opened the cupboard to get out a plate and found that I’d replaced our regular plates with my Christmas plates. I figure, they need to get used more than once a year, they’re so cute. I’ll store them and put the regular plates back once Christmas is over.

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These days, when I get up in the morning – as long as it’s light out – I collar up the cats and open the back door so they can go outside. It’s gotten quite a bit cooler, though, so after they run out to see what the weather’s like and decide it’s too cold, they generally come back inside pretty quickly. Once they’re clearly in for the time being, I close the back door and then go upstairs to let the foster kittens out of their room. The funny thing is that when I open the door to the foster room, they run out (well, all of them except Skittles) and then when they see me walk into the room, they follow me back in. I sit on the floor, and they walk back and forth and ask to be petted, and rub up against me. Skittles is invariably hiding under the dresser (I think she runs under there when the door starts to open) and has to be coaxed out for petting. When they’re done with the petting, I get up and go clean out their litter boxes. Usually Punki and Elle hang out in the guest bedroom during the day. Felicia either hangs out with them, or finds a place downstairs to nap – a couple of times I found her in Stinkberbelle’s favorite napping place, atop the cat tree. I go upstairs a couple of times during the day to hang out with Skittles, who absolutely will not leave the kitten room. Fred tried bringing her downstairs the other evening, but she was having none of it. I wish she wasn’t so frightened – she’s a sweet, loving cat, but so very skittish that I worry she won’t be adopted. In the evening, Punki, Elle, and Felicia come downstairs and hang out with us. They’ve gotten the hang of Snackin’ Time, and it is APPALLING to have TWELVE cats milling around at snack time. Elle, especially, thinks that every time I’m in the kitchen, there should be food going into her mouth. TOO MANY CATS UP IN THIS HOUSE. “She thinks I don’t see her back there, but I do. Oh yes, I do. And when she least expects it, I will leap upon her with a furious vengeance, and I will unleash my ninja kitty powers, and she will wish she had NEVER been born.” ********************************************** Old Man Spot. Who does NOT look ratty. (Except that he does.)
* * *
Previously 2006: On my way to somewhere important, I’m sure. 2005: Perhaps I’ll make it my New Year’s Resolution to not fill my house with crap in 2006. 2004: Ever had one of those days when you just can’t remember the name of anything? 2003: No entry. 2002: I keep wanting to use the phrase “Sweet crappin’ Jesus!”, and just haven’t determined the right moment to do so. Maybe in the middle of sex? 2001: Her name is Brady James. 2000: If I knew whodunnit, I’d beat that $300 right out of his ass, the little bastard. 1999: They all tend to sound alike, you see, and hearing basically the same sound over and over ain’t the thrill at 31 that it is at 11.]]>

11-28-07

by @ Wednesday, November 28th, 2007. Filed under Life

Dancing Machine):

* * *
So, someone left a comment the other day saying that I should take part in Holidailies (which entails updating every day in December), and Nance was all “Yeah, you should! ::snort::” and I was all “You first, foolio!” and then she was all “I signed up. SUCKER.” and I was all and then I was all “DAMN YOU!” and “I don’t wanna!” and she was all “Then you’re saying you’re a lying liar?” and I was all “Alright, DAMNIT. I’ll sign up for Holidailies, but then I’m taking the first week of January OFF!” So I’ve signed up for Holidailies, and I’ll be updating every day in December. And I’ll be taking the first week of January off. Damnit.
* * *
Survey, seen on MySpace. 1) Are you an Aunt/Uncle? I am – I have three nephews and one niece. 2) Can you do a cartwheel? I doubt it. I haven’t tried in many, many years. I’d try now, but I’m afraid I’d dislocate a shoulder or something. 3) What was the last movie you saw in theaters? I don’t know – maybe Hairspray when I was in Maine in August? 4) Do you eat vegetables regularly? I do. And a lot of them are vegetables we grew ourselves over the summer. 5) If you were going to get a body piercing, where would you get it? I wouldn’t. My ears are each pierced once, and other than that, I need no piercing, thank you. 6) Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? I hang out with Fred all the time, does that count? 7) What is the weather like right at this very moment? Sunny and cold. And Sugarbutt’s got a wild hair up his butt, and he’s racing around at top speed. Which probably has nothing to do with the weather, but I thought I’d mention it. 8) What is something you can’t wait for? You know, nothing comes to mind at the moment. 9) How many times have you been to Canada? Several. We lived at Loring AFB (before it closed), which is close to Canada, and I know I went into Canada at least once for a class trip and once for a Girl Scout trip. Plus, we lived in Canada when my sister was born. I’d love to visit again someday. 10) Have you ever had a reptile as a pet? No – though I always say I’d love to have a gecko. 11) What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries and blueberries are tied for favorite. 12) What song is on your myspace profile right now? I actually had to go look. It’s the Keith and the Girl theme song (“Hey all you assholes, come and listen to us, it’s the Keith and the Girl show!”) 13) Who was your last missed call on your cell phone? The spud, one day last week. 14) Where are you most ticklish? At the top of the back of my thighs. I can do the mind-over-matter thing and make myself not ticklish, though. Drives people who are trying to tickle me crazy. I WIN. 15) How many hours a week do you normally work? Zero! 16) Who’s your number 1 on myspace? Keith and the Girl. They were giving away iPods, and one of the rules was that they needed to be on your top… five? Ten? Something like that. So I made them my number 1 and left ’em there. 17) Do you have deep dark secrets? Who doesn’t? Mine aren’t so terribly deep and dark, though. 18) When was the last time you were sick? So long ago, I don’t even remember. 19) What color is your car? Red. 20) How many siblings do you have? Three – two older brothers and a younger sister. 21) Have you ever gotten caught sneaking out? It’s been too long – maybe? I don’t know. The only thing that comes to mind is when friends stopped by my house in the middle of the night (after they got off work) and knocked on my bedroom window, and I went out and we were standing out there talking, and TEN MINUTES after they showed up, our dog started yapping, which woke my father up. 22) Did you ever try running away from home when you were younger? I planned to run away ten thousand times, but never actually put my plans into action. 23) What makes you the happiest? Fred waking me up in the morning and then laying down beside me, a purring cat curled around my head, waking up and knowing I don’t have anything pressing to do. 24) How do you feel when you see a child at the store throwing a “Tantrum”? Relieved. 25) Where do you want to be right now? Right where I am is just fine, actually. Although I wouldn’t mind being on a hot white-sand beach looking out at blue water, either. 26) Have you ever finished a Rubik’s Cube? No, not ever. 27) When is the last time you drank too much? I don’t know, 15 years maybe? 28) When was the last time you rode a bike? That’s an excellent question. Maybe three years ago, when I briefly thought about bike-riding for exercise. I don’t even have a bike anymore – I never used it, so we put it on Freecycle along with a ton of other stuff. 29) Do you have any vacation plans for this summer? I’ll be going to Maine at some point, as always. 30) Where were you 1 hour ago? Watching an episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8. Someone mentioned it in my comments once, and then I read something about it on a message board, and I got interested enough to tape a few episodes. I really like it a LOT. I cannot imagine having 8 small children running around, but I can’t look away. Kate seems to always get up to the edge of losing it, then backs off. Although, I think she’d kind of be fun to hang out with. Is it weird to think that? 31) Who will be your next kiss? Fred or a cat. Fred doesn’t slip me the tongue as often as the cats do, though. Ha! I kid. 32) Do you kiss a lot of people? Just the one. 33) Are you wearing socks right now? No – I’m wearing warm slippers, but my feet are cold anyway, since I was just outside visiting the compost pile. 34) When was the last time you went out of state? Two or three weeks ago, when Fred and I drove up to Amish country one Saturday. 35) Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? I have not. 36) What was the last thing you had to drink? Water. 37) What are you wearing right now? An Oscar the Grouch “S is for Scram” t-shirt, light gray pants from Land’s End, the aforementioned slippers, underwear and a bra. 38) What was your last purchase? Gift cards at the grocery store – I’m going to run errands here in a little while, though – Sam’s, Target, the mall – so there’ll be much purchasing. 39) Last thing you ate? I had a bowl of oatmeal for a snack last night. 40) Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Actually, I bought a sweatshirt at Target on Monday, and a sports bra. The sweatshirt fit, but it needs a t-shirt under it since it’s cut so low, so I’m returning it. The sports bra is too big, so I’m returning it as well. 41) Are you a sexual predator? NO, Chris Hansen, I am not. I only have this bag full of condoms and 6-pack of beer because I CARE. Ooh. Is that a chocolate chip cookie? 42) What is in the backseat of your car? Empty water bottles, and a cat carrier with a towel, bottle of water, and small bag of cat food inside. I like to be prepared – however, every single time I see a cat and could use all that stuff, it’s never while I’m driving my car. 43. Three words to explain why you last threw up? The wrong food. 45. What was the last movie you watched? The last movie I watched the entire way through was Hairspray. After that, we tried watching Rescue Dawn and Stephen Tobolowski’s Birthday Party, but gave up after about ten minutes of each. 46. Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for kids? Not really. I don’t think the average kid looks at a Barbie and thinks “I should look like that” any more than they look at a Lisa Simpson doll and thinks “I should look like that.” Living humans are the negative role models (HELLEW BRITNEY) rather than plastic dolls. 47. What kind of car does your father drive? I… do not know. A Taurus, maybe? 48. Do you like scrabble? I do. 49. Where did you attend high school? Lisb0n High School, Lisb0n Falls, Maine. 50. Favorite scent? Lemon. 52. Last television program you watched? Journeyman, last night. Oh, and then Jon and Kate Plus 8 this morning. 55. Does your family own any boats? My father has a boat, a small one. 56. Something you can’t live without? Fred! 61. Where were you when 9/11 happened? At home, putting off exercising. 62. How often do you read books? Every day, sometimes multiple times a day. 65. Describe the computer you are currently using? I don’t know. It’s a computer. It’s a few years old. I need a new one. 66. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Half an hour, forty-five minutes. I do a lot of puttering around the house between showering and getting dressed. 67. Will you donate your organs after you pass? Definitely. Take ’em all! 68. Have you been outside of the USA? Yes, to Canada. 69. Would you ever get your nipple pierced? HELLZ NO.
* * *
Check out the fang. Someone mentioned that the picture in yesterday’s entry of Elle showed her exhibiting the Flehmen response. That picture, actually, was from the tail-end of a yawn. This one, however, is definitely an exhibition of the Flehman response. I love it when they do this – they look so brain-dead. It never fails to crack me up. Felicia, stretching after a long, long nap. The girls, hanging out. Skittles loves a good ear rub. “Please, lady, is time for the petting?” ***************************** Sleepin’ Poo Pie.
* * *
Previously 2006: Go! Shop! Buy! 2005: “Well, GODDAMN,” I said. “NOT NOW, I won’t! I was GOING to, but now that I know you’d be sitting there all horrified about me reclining my seat in front of your parents, all worried that they’d be thinking ‘Good christ, look at her over there, so fucking LAZY she can’t expend the ENERGY to sit upright!’, I won’t! I wouldn’t DREAM of reclining on my OWN couch in my OWN home, I would HATE to embarrass you!” 2004: What If? 2003: Fred’s sister nodded. “That’s what I figured.” 2002: I forgot that teenagers are, on the whole (though yours may be different, or at least pulling the wool over your eyes) bone idle. 2001: McAfee rocks. 2000: Recent purchases. 1999: I informed him that there was no way he was getting out of taking me to the emergency room for this.]]>

11-27-07

by @ Tuesday, November 27th, 2007. Filed under Life

* * * Yesterday, on the way home from the pet store, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things, and I happened across a rack of gift cards, and as I stood and looked, I realized that there were a bunch of gift cards from the places I’d intended to order them online (is that a convoluted sentence? You know what I mean!), and so I ended up buying a bunch of gift cards at the grocery store. The cashier apparently highly disapproved of something – I don’t know whether it was the fact that I was purchasing so many gift cards, or that I’d brought my own bag, or that I turned down the bagboy’s (bagman? Can you call a 60-something a “boy”?) offer to carry the bag out to my car (I said “No, that’s fine. I can get it.” and he said “But it’s heavy!” and I smiled and said “I COULD BENCH PRESS YOU OLD MAN, NOW UNHAND THE BAG!” or maybe “No, really. I’m stronger than I look!”, I don’t remember which.) or the fact that I was chomping on gum like it was my job* or – my secret fear – maybe she’s happened across my site and knows that I throw “fuck”s and “goddamn”s around like confetti, so she was waiting for me to bellow “GODDAMN, OLD MAN, GIVE ME THAT MOTHERFUCKING BAG AND GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING WAY! MOTHERFUCK!”. I don’t know what her issue was, but she had the “I disapprove” vibes coming through loud and clear. Obviously it makes no difference in my life whether a random cashier at the grocery store disapproves of me, but I am curious. I wonder what the fuck her issue was? In any case, woohoo! After a trip to the grocery store and some quality time with my computer last night, I am 99% done with my Christmas shopping for my side of the family, and just have to wait to hear what to buy for Fred’s family. Woot! *Oprah hates gum-chewing, did you know that? It grosses her out or something. Shut up, Oprah. JESUS. I can’t stand the way your audience howls and claps and hoots and hollers and somehow that doesn’t get edited out, but I still watch, don’t I? Seriously. I couldn’t even stand to watch the Favorite Things show because of all the screaming. I suspect that if you told them to hold the hooting and howling and screaming until the end of the show, they would, OPRAH.

* * *
The look on Elle’s face is cracking me UP. “It is time for the pettin’.” Elle is just the happiest cat. She rolls around and purrs and if you don’t come and pet her, she’ll come to you and demand petting. Punki has claimed Sugarbutt’s basket as her own. You can just imagine how THAT went over! ******************************* Sweet sleepin’ Stinkerbelle.
* * *
Previously 2006: I’m a bit of a pyromaniac (really, who isn’t?), so my eyes twirled and glittered like Beavis’, and I had to restrain the urge to yell “Fire! Fire! Fire!” 2005: No entry. 2004: No entry. 2003: You were always what I needed. I thought you always would be. 2002: Then I snorted. “But *I* am not going to do ANYTHING with the turkey, ’cause it’s not MY job!” 2001: Thankyajeezus for hooking me up with a geek. 2000: I’m going crazy with wanting you, and crazier still to know that I can never have you. 1999: spud: Momma let her go into heat!]]>

11-26-07

by @ Monday, November 26th, 2007. Filed under Life

* * * Recently, Fred’s been working on making something for me. We’ve had a recliner next to a window in the front room since we moved in, and Spot loves to climb up on the back of it and look out the window when he’s not dozing. He’s an old man, though, and it’s kind of hard for him to get up there, and I’ve been wanting to move the recliners to the other side of the room, so I asked Fred to make something similar to the set of steps we have in the computer room, only with a lip around the top so I could put a bed in it. He got all the wood he thought he’d need, and then he pestered me with questions to make sure he was making what I wanted (and I had to say “I don’t care, just MAKE IT!”), and he worked on it, and yesterday when the coat of stain/ polyurethane was mostly dry, he brought it inside. Spot isn’t the slightest bit interested in it, but the other cats LOVE it. “Ah hets stairs. They’re too dern difficult to climb up! All that work. Luckily there’s a rest at the top. Also, ah hets Sugarbutt.” I’m most likely going to make a cat bed to go on the top, one that actually fits the top. **************************** The foster kittens are just not sure what they think of being allowed to roam around the house. Well, Punki likes it just fine – she’s quite the little social butterfly, that one. She likes to be in a room with humans, and basically followed Fred around yesterday. Elle and Felicia spent most of the day laying on the bed in the guest bedroom, and I have no idea where Skittles spent her time. Saturday evening when it was bedtime, we had our work cut out for us, capturing her. She was hiding under the couch and would run away from us when we tried to grab her. Eventually I was able to snatch her up and bring her upstairs, and we hung out with them in the room for a little while, but they were all a little freaked out, so we left them alone. I’m not sure how much Felicia, Skittles, and Elle care for being out of their room. At one point I went upstairs yesterday to refill their food bowl, and all three of them followed me in, then twined around my feet, purring. I shut the door and sat down, and they rubbed on me and purred some more, so I stayed in there until they started sniffing at the door. I’m sure they’ll adjust – they always do. I make a point of looking for them every once in a while and talking to/ petting them, which they seem to appreciate, if the purring and kneading is anything to go by. Pretty Felicia in the sun. All you have to do is speak to Elle, and she starts kneading. Skittles says “Hellew.” Peek-a-boo! Such a goofball. “Stop taking pictures of me and PET ME!” Skittles keeps an eye on her sisters. *************************** Disapproves of “This Kellerman fellow.”

* * *
Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: No entry. 2004: Just call me Grinchypoo. 2003: Survivor. 2002: If you think you can have too many smiley-face stickers, you are sadly mistaken. 2001: The phrase “anthrax in my pants” is FUCKING FUNNY when it’s spoken by a sixty-three year old woman. 2000: No entry.]]>

11-25-07

by @ Sunday, November 25th, 2007. Filed under Life

It’s that time of year! If you want a holiday card from Crooked Acres, go here and follow the directions. I will absolutely send cards to other countries. If you’d like to send me a card (definitely not required, but always appreciated), you can send it to PO Box 565, Madison, Alabama, 35758.

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Revival Animal Health has this self-warming thermal cat cushion, if anyone’s interested. I’ve ordered stuff from them before, and they ship quickly and have quality products. I ordered this cat shelf from them – that’s an excellent price – though I haven’t figured out where I want to put it yet, so I can’t say whether the cats will like it or not. Just thought y’all might be interested.
* * *
So I got up pretty early yesterday – Mister Boogers got into a slapfight with someone because he’s a JERK, and his annoying war cries woke me up before I had any desire to be awake. I had stuff to do, though, so I rolled out of bed and got to it. The foster kitten room hadn’t been vacuumed since I got them a week ago, so I had to get them put in the carriers and removed from the room. I did that – they didn’t want to go into the carriers, ’cause they’re no dummies – and then spent quite a while vacuuming. They’re less apt to race around the room than the previous litter of kittens, but they make more of a mess (track more litter) than the little ones did, too. I got the room cleaned, put them back in there, and then went off to take my shower. Once I was showered and dressed, I got out the big pot of turkey broth I’d made the day before, and put it on to boil. I put the pressure cooker on to heat, and a pot of water to sterilize the jars, and then I proceeded to can turkey broth. I CANNED TURKEY BROTH. Fred was impressed with the way I used every single bit of that turkey left over from Thanksgiving. First, I boiled the turkey carcass, picked all the meat off the bones for turkey and rice casserole (I ended up with two small pans of turkey and rice casserole, and each small pan will probably last us for at least two meals, and a lunch or two for Fred), and then I threw the bones back into the pot to make turkey broth. Then I canned the turkey broth! Go, me! It was cloudy, and from what I’ve read online cloudy broth is less desirable than non-cloudy, but ask me if I care (I think you can guess whether I do or not). I suspect the cloudy broth will taste just fine. Once the turkey broth was canned, I sat down and wrote my entry (which took far longer than it should have, for some reason. I was very distracted yesterday.), then Fred decided that it was time to let the foster kittens out to explore the house, so he opened the door and let them out, and it was all pretty low-key. There was plenty of hissing and plenty of plaintive meowing on Felicia’s part, but there were no big-time smackdowns, so I consider the experiment a success. We actually let them stay out all day, and they’d wander downstairs for short bursts of time before running back upstairs to hide, then come back down a while later, and so on. They are seriously cute, those girls. Punki checks out the view while Sugarbutt watches from the basket. Punki checks out the Sugarbutt in the basket. Then I balanced the checkbook and paid bills, which is always a GOOD TIME, I can’t get enough of that, such fun. Once that was done, it was lunch time and while I made lunch I had at least seven cats in the kitchen twining around my feet, getting in the way, letting me know that hey! We could use some food too, and we don’t mean that nasty “cat food” stuff, give us the good stuff, bitch! I let them all starve, though (okay, maybe I gave them a little bowl of turkey broth, and the girls like them some turkey broth, apparently). When lunch was finished, I began on the big-ass task of going through the rest of my Flickr pictures to choose pictures for the calendars. I cursed myself the entire time, because there’s just no damn reason I should have had to do that. It would have taken no damn time at all to stick the best ones in a separate folder on my hard drive as the year went along, and just looking through a folder of good pictures instead of having to slog through everything I’ve uploaded to Flickr over the past year (and holy CRAP I upload a lot of pictures to Flickr, don’t I?) would have saved a LOT of time. I am vowing to be more organized in 2008. A girl can dream, right? I had to stop about halfway through my picture-weeding process to make dinner (Core Salsa Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and the first batch of turnip greens from our garden) – or at least put it on to cook – and then went to looking through and uploading pictures. The spud called and I talked to her, and while I was talking to her, I realized I smelled something burning, and it turns out that the potatoes I’d put on to boil had run out of water and were merrily burning. Fred suggested I mash the potatoes anyway, so I mashed enough for him, and just ate meatloaf and greens myself. He claimed that the potatoes didn’t taste burned, but I think he’s a big liar. I finally got the calendars made, ordered a couple for myself, then puttered around online ’til it was time to feed the cats and go watch TV. A very productive day for me – I got a lot done that I’d been putting off. Today, I think it’s going to be laundry and a run to the recycling center. I haven’t been anywhere since Wednesday, and I think I’ve got a wee case of cabin fever. I might even run to the new P3tSmart in Nearville and see how long it takes me to get there and whether it’s closer than the one in Huntsville. I’m sure, knowing me, that I’ll pick up a cat toy or two while I’m there. Someone call Oprah! I’ve got a cat-toy-hoarding problem!
* * *
The chickadee looks like he’s talking with his mouth full. (flickr) Nuthatch on the left, chickadee on the right. (flickr) (flickr) Fred called me outside to look yesterday morning, and there were four hawks circling overhead. By the time I got out there they’d gotten quite a bit higher, but he said they started out pretty low. The girlz were all huddled in a corner of the yard, but I don’t know if they were alarmed by the hawks, or just huddling together for warmth, or what. (flickr)
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Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: All I can guess is that with the holiday season coming on, our defenses are low, and we go a little crazy with the kitten love. 2004: No entry. 2003: I think our kitchen is cursed. 2002: Me, behind the wheel of a minivan? Watch out, Nashville! 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry. 1999: So, I got a kitten.]]>

11-24-07

by @ Saturday, November 24th, 2007. Filed under Life

It’s that time of year! If you want a holiday card from Crooked Acres, go here and follow the directions. I will absolutely send cards to other countries. If you’d like to send me a card (definitely not required, but always appreciated), you can send it to PO Box 565, Madison, Alabama, 35758.

* * *
I gotta know about the eggs and gravy too. Share a recipe, please? I have never ever heard of this before. Though I’ve never made giblet gravy myself (I’ve never made any kind of gravy, actually, unless you consider opening a can to be “making” it), the recipe was probably along the lines of this one. And it is really, REALLY good. Yeah, it’s got chunks of liver and stuff floating around in it. But that’s what makes it so good!
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Oh, and I’ve never not had giblet gravy when we have turkey. I didn’t know that everyone doesn’t have it. I suspect it might be a Southern thing. I’d never heard of – let alone had – giblet gravy before I moved down here.
* * *
You seem to get so much accomplished in a day. It seems you just get up and start doing what needs to be done! I can’t seem to do that anymore. Do you ever run out of energy, or decide, “Hey, I’m just going to take a short nap”, and wake up 2 hours later? You are like the energizer bunny! I really am SO not the energizer bunny. I do roll out of bed and get the everyday stuff (litter boxes, cleaning up the kitchen) done, because if I just lay in bed and try to read or go back to sleep, the bossy bitch in the back of my head nags me “You really need to get those litter boxes cleaned out, you really need to get the laundry started, how long has it been since you vacuumed, anyway?!” and it drives me nuts. And many times I get up with the intention of cleaning the litter boxes and starting laundry (or whatever) and then going back to bed, but most of the time once I’m up, I’m up. With my old age comes the wisdom that if I don’t do it now, it’s just going to be a bigger pain in the ass to do it later, so it’s best to get it done and over with. I spend plenty of time surfing the web, reading, and watching TV during the day, believe you me. I haven’t taken a nap in quite some time, though – I tried Thanksgiving afternoon, but just couldn’t fall asleep. There’ll be time for napping when I’m dead! 🙂
* * *
Had I been there, Fred would have needed a ‘sissy girl bitch’ jelly option. The jalapeno jelly is the “sissy girl bitch” option – it’s not in the slightest bit hot, and given that I’m very sensitive to spicy stuff, you can take that to the bank!
* * *
You don’t really write too much about how you are dealing with life without the Spud. Are you at the point where you are used to her being gone, or do you find yourself missing her like crazy at times? Actually, that’s how it’s been for me over the years with my own two daughters leaving home – sometimes I don’t even think about them for a day or so; other times I do miss them. (Until they show up at the door for a visit … then I realize how easily we have become accustomed to being empty-nesters!) I think that the fact that the spud only lived here for a couple of months before she moved away makes it less strange that she’s not here. If we still lived in the other house, I imagine I’d be surprised every time I went upstairs and didn’t find her at her computer or in her room. I miss her a lot, but we text and email pretty regularly. Every now and then I’ll hear a creak from upstairs and think it’s her moving around, before I remember that, oh yeah – she’s probably moving around in her room, but her room is also 1,131 miles away, give or take. We’re definitely used to it just being the two of us here – the two of us plus 7 (plus 2, plus 4), that is – and we’ve certainly gotten into our own little routine.
* * *
Is the spud ever coming home to visit??? Last I heard, she’s planning on coming down next summer before school starts. Y’all need to keep in mind that she’s not “away at school” and this is not “home” to her – the child has moved away permanently. She’s living with her father and stepmother, and she’s got a life. She’s got jobs, she’s got a boyfriend, and she’s 1,131 (give or take) miles away. It’s not like she can drive an hour or two, spend a day, and drive back. She can’t just pick up and be gone for a week or two – it takes planning. So yes, she’ll be back to visit.
* * *
Why don’t you guys just buy a cow to save money on milk? You’ve got plenty of room, and she can join the other present and future animals on “the farm”. Let’s do some math, shall we? All numbers are approximate: 1 cow: $600 (or 1 cow and 1 calf, around $1,000) Fencing for the back forty: $1,000 Barn: $2,500 Electricity run out to the barn: $300 Total: $4,400 – $4,900 Given that we spend about $10 a month on milk, it would take about 36 years to recoup the initial costs of buying a cow and that doesn’t take into account the amount of money we’d need to spend on hay to feed the cow. It would probably be more cost-effective for us to buy a small middle eastern country to save on the amount of money we’re spending on gas. I should add that we are talking about getting a cow – or a cow and a calf – but for slaughtering and eating, not for milk. Beef: it’s what’s for dinner!
* * *
We got a 9 month old male kitten yesterday, and because we didn’t really have a room to close him in, we had to introduce him to our two year old skittish female cat pretty much right away. The new kitty, Henry, was a stray until recently, so he is not used to having food regularly. Whenever we put out food, he snarfs all of it in one sitting. My female kitty, Hallie, we’ve always fed by keeping a bowl out for her to graze on in small amounts over the course of a day, as is her custom. Because of the new kitty, I’ve had to take her food away so that he won’t eat it all. Meanwhile, my poor Hallie hasn’t gotten any food. Have you encountered a situation like this with your cats, and if so, what did you do? We can easily deal with Hungry Henry by feeding him a few times a day, but I want to make sure Hallie eats too, and she is not a cat that eats a lot at once, and won’t eat food if you set it out for her- she has to go back to it in her own time. Any advice would be most appreciated! I’m going to throw this one out to the readers, because I have no idea. I would have suggested that you take her in a room by herself at meal time and give her her own bowl of food, but since she’s a grazer rather than an all-at-one-time eater, that wouldn’t really work. Readers, do you have suggestions?
* * *
I saw on Miz Poo’s Catster page that she does the same thing my Yuki does. She drags her fuzzy fishing pole through the house and howls. What is it about that action that makes it some kind of maternal thing? I have no idea on earth what causes that behavior, but good lord, when Miz Poo gets going, I want to kill her after the first 45 minutes of howling. What I want to know is this: Does anyone have a male cat who drags a toy through the house while making that keening noise, or is it only females?
* * *
Have you ever seen a cat want some sort of food so bad that it made them gag? My cat Monkey apparently salivates at the mention of whip cream, or the sight of a little red bowl, and starts gagging. At first I thought she had something stuck in her throat. But she does this everyday. I have never heard of that! Very weird.
* * *
Do you know what happened to the guy from novanotes.com? His site is still there so somebody’s paying for it to remain up but he hasn’t updated in over two years! Oddly, I was just checking out his page recently and noticed that he hadn’t updated in a long time. I have no idea where he’s gone to. I think you should email him and ask what’s up. 🙂
* * *
I wanted to ask you what company do you use for making your Christmas cards? We used Vista Print. Their prices are far and away the best I was able to find, I got my order quickly (ordered on Monday, received ’em on Friday, I think), the quality was excellent, and the cards are huge. If there’s a better place to get photo cards, I’d love to hear about it!
* * *
We use a Pyrex measuring glass thing (the ginormous ones) for our gravy. Do you think that’s white trash? Hee! You say “white trash” like it’s a bad thing. What’s sad is that I don’t even have a ginormous Pyrex measuring cup, just one single two-cup measuring cup. Clearly I need to go shopping!
* * *
Frozen milk?! OhhhEmmmmGeeee!!! You are amazing!!! I never even thought you could do that Duh. It always seems that no matter how small of a container I buy, we only use 1/2 of it before it goes bad. Do you freeze it in the container or do you measure it out say like by the cup so you can just thaw what you need? Don’t be too impressed with me – I only know you can freeze milk because my sister told me at some point in the past. You can freeze it in the container (but you need to pour some of it out so that the liquid has room to expand). I don’t think it would hurt anything to freeze it in single portions, either – whatever works for you! And by the way, several people mentioned that the milk is fine for drinking once it’s been thawed out. I was under the impression that it was kind of grainy (for lack of a better word), but apparently not. Given that I never drink milk, you can understand how I didn’t know that!
* * *
I just discovered that you can cook a turkey from frozen! Did you know this? Did everyone but me know this?? I had always been told to thaw first! I had NO idea you could do that, but I guess it makes sense, since you can cook most meat from a frozen state. I’ve always worried about thawing the turkey before cooking, too – I may try cooking the extra turkey I got when I got the Thanksgiving turkey, and see how it turns out.
* * *
You used to have an occasional cat video. Will you be doing that again soon? I probably will – my issue is that I need to download something to make my camcorder work with my software, and I need to figure out what needs to be downloaded. I have stuff on the camcorder ready to be made into movies, it’s just a matter of doing it!
* * *
Aren’t you doing Netflix? We are. The problem is that we’re doing the 4 movies at a time Netflix, and I have two discs of The O.C. in the garage waiting for me to find my get-up-and-go and get out there and watch them while exercising. The other two discs I got from Netflix this week, one was Stephen Tobolowsky’s Birthday Party, and the other was Rescue Dawn, and I knew that with the long weekend we’d be watching more TV than we usually do (we start watching TV earlier on the weekends), so I got movies at the movie store to tide us over. (We watched Hairspray last night, by the way, and Fred liked it enough that he said he wanted to own it. Given that he was a bit resistant to watching the movie in the first place, I’m glad he liked it that much!)
* * *
Is this what it’s like in the Ander$on household at snakkin’ time? It’s very close to that! The cats circle and howl, but no one actually grabs hold of the can. Sugarbutt gets his face right in there when I open the can, though. You’d think he’s starving to death, the way he gulps down the canned food.
* * *
Put a yellow collar on tommy so you won’t be snookered anymore. It’s not a problem during the day, because he wears the electric collar fence from about mid-morning until it gets dark. I would buy a collar (and I think yellow would go strikingly with his black fur!), but I think what we really need to do is pay attention to what the hell we’re doing. If you really pay attention, it’s not that hard to tell Tommy and Miss Momma apart, and we’ve been better about it since last time we let him out. If it happens again, though, I really might get him a collar. I’d hate to lose Tommy!
* * *
Is it on YouTube, or did anyone tape it and love me enough to send it to me? That’s regarding the Oprah episode with the hoarder. You can see some footage and pictures here, but I’m not seeing anything on YouTube. I’ll keep an eye out and if it comes back on in reruns, I’ll be sure to mention it. (It would not be legal, I think, to suggest that it’s possible to download the torrent, so I’m highly recommending against that.)
* * *
I watched part one and couldn’t wait to see part two. I thought the husband was some kind of zombie automaton. I was also surprised they only got $13,000 for that stuff. They must have sold it for a quarter apiece! I thought they were going to get $50,000. from selling all that crap. Anyway, I think the Mom will go BACK to hoarding. She just seemed so emotionally fragile. What do you think? I agree that it’s amazing that they only got $13,000 for all that stuff. For those of you who didn’t see the shows, the stuff they took out of this woman’s 3,000 square foot house – just the stuff that they decided could be sold in a yard sale – filled a 10,000 square foot warehouse. The woman had thousands of purses. What I think is that the people who bought that stuff got a serious bargain, considering how much of the stuff had never been used. I think that if the woman doesn’t get some kind of therapy (and it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that Oprah’s providing she and her husband with a therapist), she’s going to eventually go back to hoarding.
* * *
What has happened with Jack Frost? Jack Frost was recently adopted for the fourth (I think) time. He was adopted and returned twice after the initial return. Apparently ol’ Jack is rough on furniture, and the people who adopted and returned him weren’t down with that. The last guy who adopted him emailed the shelter manager for advice and seems to have really bonded with Jack, so hopefully he’s found a home for good!
* * *
Are you watching the new Amazing Race? I was trying to think of people who would be good contestants. Even though I haven’t met you in person, you and Fred are the only people I could come up with. Have you ever thought about it? We are absolutely watching The Amazing Race, it’s one of our favorite shows. I would LOVE to be on that show, but I’m afraid that (1) I could never get Fred off the farm for that amount of time, and (2) With his gimpy foot, gimpy knee, and gimpy shoulder, Fred would always be in pain from all the running and challenges. I think we’d make a good team (and would have a LOT of fun) if we could get past those obstacles!
* * *
Robyn, since Fred wanted cows until YOU wanted cows…couldn’t you just pretend to change your mind and say that you now want goats? Ya think that will make him not want them, all of a sudden? He’s too smart for that wily ploy. I’d say “I’ve changed my mind. I want goats!” and I’d probably have two goats sitting in the living room (so they could stay warm ’til Fred got a barn built for them) within two hours.
* * *
Why haven’t we seen the painted shed yet? AHEM. I was waiting for Fred to put the finishing touches on it. You can see pictures of it here.
* * *
Speaking of Rosamunde Pilcher – My all time very favorite book EVER is “The Shell Seekers”. I read it at least once a year – I usually find myself craving to read it again in the spring, and I’ve worn out at least two copies. The funny thing is, I couldn’t get into ANY of her other books, or her son Robin’s, even though everyone else seems to like those better. Any love for “The Shell Seekers” out there? I actually own The Shell Seekers, but haven’t read it yet!
* * *
What is Fred going to do with goats anyway??? Besides take yuk yuk videos of them fainting of course. Are you going to milk them and make your own goat cheese? Goats milk is supposed to be, umm, robust? That is an EXCELLENT question. When asked why he wants goats, he mumbles and stutters around, and in the end it’s pretty clear that he wants to have them JUST TO HAVE THEM. When told that goats stink, he hastens to make sure you know that it’s only billy goats that stink, that the nanny goats don’t, and we just wouldn’t get billy goats. And then he says we could sell goats for meat (there’s apparently a population around here that will eat goat. I am not included in that number, thanks.), but if we only have female goats, how would we breed them, I ask you? And yeah, he’s mentioned milking them to make goat cheese, or using goat milk to make soap or lotion, and who? Who, I ask you? Who would be making the cheese and the lotion and the soap? Hint: NOT HIM.
* * *
1. What has the Spud said, if anything, about your weight loss? 2. Ditto for your Mother. 3. Ditto for your in-laws. And 4. Do any of them treat you any differently now? (5) Also,since you appear to the rest of the world to be a different person now that you weigh what your average person weighs, do you think you behave any differently than you did when you were a “large woman”, both in private and in public? I ask these ?s only because your appearance is that of a completely different person than that of several years ago. (6) What has changed on the inside? (I guess that would be #5, heh.) 1. “You look good.” (or something along those lines) 2. “You look good.” (or something along those lines) 3. Ditto. 4. Nope, not at all. 5. I didn’t think I act any differently now than I did before, but just to make sure, I asked Fred who said “No.” and for a second opinion I asked my sister, who said “I think you act exactly the same, with more energy.” I don’t believe I act any different in public, either. 6. I don’t think anything has really changed on the inside. I’m forced to deal with what’s going on in my life rather than stuffing it down with food and that’s not always fun, but other than that, I’m really the same as I was before. I really don’t get many comments from anyone about my weight loss anymore, because at this point it’s old news. The first year after surgery was the biggest change, but since then it’s not so much a big deal. I’m okay with that.
* * *
I know you get your hair colored fairly frequently. I have never colored my hair because I’m afraid I won’t like it, and if I start I will have to constantly do it and also cause I’m paranoid about getting dye in my eyes. Any hair dyeing catastrophes? I’m getting a little gray though and think I’m gonna have to take the plunge. Ever hated it or do you always stick to what you know? Ever get it in your eye? Ever since I read on the box it can make you go blind I’ve been reluctant as that would be my luck! If you’re thinking about doing it yourself, you could start by trying some of the semi-permanent dye that washes out in five to eight shampoos – that way you can see how it looks, and if you don’t like it, it’ll wash out. I’ve never had any hair dying catastrophes that I can remember – I generally stick to the same color, and have for years (though earlier this year I went a little bit red, and in direct sunlight it looked like a red that doesn’t actually occur in nature). I don’t love having to have my hair done every five or six weeks – it’s really freakin’ boring to sit there – but at this point if I let my hair go natural I’d probably be close to 75% gray, and I’m too damn young for that. (On a side note, ten years ago I declared that when I was 40, I was going to go natural and to hell with all the gray. Now that I’m a little over a month away from 40, I think I’ll wait ’til I’m 50!) I’ve never gotten dye in my eye, but the dye isn’t really that liquidy – as long as you’re paying attention to what you’re doing, you shouldn’t have an issue with getting it in your eye.
* * *
After killing a squirrel and eating it right next to the steps, Newt decides it’s time to clean the gore off his face where everyone can watch him.
* * *
Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: I think I need to go eat some deviled eggs to assuage the pain. 2004: And I just glared at him and thought to myself Just because you’re too stupid and scatterbrained to read and watch TV at the same time doesn’t mean I am, jackass. 2003: “Purring? You don’t like the sound of them purring?” 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: Just a little more knowledge o’ Robyn y’all can add to your notes. 1999: No entry.]]>

11-23-07

by @ Friday, November 23rd, 2007. Filed under Life

1. I meant to have gone through all the last year’s worth of pictures and had calendars available today for all two of you who are interested in buying them. This obviously didn’t happen (or I’d be linking to the calendars), but I WILL get that done this weekend, and have them available on Monday. 2. The comment-answering extravaganza will take place tomorrow instead of today, so if you’re burning up with wild and crazy questions, feel free to ask. Look at me, shaking things up! What’ll happen next? YOU NEVER KNOW.

* * *
So, our Thanksgiving was fabulous. Fred’s sister’s kids (and her daughter’s husband) stopped by for a few hours and played a few rounds of Catchphrase with Fred. Everyone got to see and admire the foster kitties (though we weren’t able to get anyone to take a cat or two home). Fred’s sister and her husband showed up around 9:30 because she had called the night before to find out if it’d be okay for her to actually cook the sweet potato casserole and dressing in our oven rather than cook it at home and then have to warm it up when they got here. Fred told her that would be fine, and so when she got here she just had to toss together the dressing, and before I knew what was going on, she’d volunteered to make the gravy, and was boiling a few eggs to put in the gravy, and I just had to stand back and let her go at it. The woman did 9/10 of the work to be done, and I was NOT complaining. We’d planned to eat around noon, but the turkey was done a full hour before it was supposed to be, so we ate a bit earlier. Everything was so damn good I wanted to keep eating, but couldn’t even get down a small sliver of the carrot cake Fred had made because I was so stuffed from the meal. The best part of having so much meat at Thanksgiving is that we had a ton of turkey left over. We just don’t eat nearly enough turkey around here. I boiled the turkey carcass for a few hours last night, and will be making a turkey and rice casserole (with leftover gravy, and possibly bread crumbs made from the sourdough bread Fred’s mother brought us) and I’m just drooling at the thought. We sent a ton of food home with everyone, and had more than enough left over. Okay. Enough about food. How ’bout a couple of pictures? I intended to put up this picture to illustrate my current hair style, but you can’t really see it that well. I had my hair done on Wednesday, and I don’t know what she did, but I am loving it. I think I want to keep this hairstyle forever and ever. So since you can’t see the hairstyle all that well, I’m putting it up to show y’all that I am the whitest woman in all of the country. (flickr) The table, at dessert time. The cake is the carrot cake Fred made. The pie is a pumpkin pie that Fred’s mother made. I only had a sliver of pie and a bite of cake, but they were REALLY good. (flickr) Carrot cake, up close. (flickr) As appetizers, Fred put out a bowl of cream cheese, jelly and jams, and crackers. On the left is jalapeno jelly, which he labeled “Girls.” In the middle, strawberry-habanero jam, which he labeled “Boys.” On the right, blackberry-habanero jam, which he labeled “Men.” The habanero jams went over very well, and his niece’s husband liked them so much that Fred gave him a jar of each to take home with him. We also gave him some fruity habanero hot sauce to take with him. Here at Crooked Acres, if you think you’re going to visit and leave without some jam, you are sadly mistaken. (flickr)
* * *
Oh, remember the whole “I neeeeeeeeed a gravy boat!” thing? Well, I’m an idiot. We don’t set the table for Thanksgiving dinner, we just do it up buffet style, and instead of putting the gravy in anything, we left it in the pot, and put a ladle in it, and no one thought twice about it. Duh.
* * *
“Stupid trees with their stupid leaves. How’s a portly kitty supposed to sneak up on a bird when these stupid leaves make so much noise when I stomp through them?!”
* * *
Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: I think he might be half skunk. 2004: I do love, love, love the gmail! 2003: No entry. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry. 1999: If you look closely at the picture, you’ll note that it’s very close to the color of bile.]]>

11-22-07

by @ Thursday, November 22nd, 2007. Filed under Life

* * * Happy Thanksgiving, Americans! (And Happy Thursday to the rest of you!)

* * *
I ended up not going to Target yesterday, because by the time my hair was doing getting did, it was almost 11:00, and I try to stay away from most stores after 10:00 during the week, and especially on the day before holidays (though one year I did have to go into Target on the DAY before Christmas, and that was a joyous occasion). I had to stop at the grocery store for a few things, though, and it was jam-packed, but I had a hand-held basket rather than a cart, so I was able to zip in, get what I wanted, and zip back out. So, no gravy boat for us. The idea of using a pyrex measuring cup is intriguing, but I don’t think ours is big enough. We have a smallish yellow bowl that will work just fine, so we’ll use that. When I got home from the hair appointment and the grocery store, I got the Christmas plates out of the garage and ran them through the dishwasher. I hadn’t realized I’d gotten quite so many plates, but in retrospect I remember adding up all the people who might possibly attend a holiday dinner at our house, and bought accordingly. (By the way, the hair chick looked at me like I was crazy when I said I was using Christmas plates for Thanksgiving dinner. Hmph. She also looked at me like I was crazy when I said I didn’t want to use paper plates. If we were having a buttload of people for dinner it’d be one thing – and I might be amenable to using them if we had a ton of people – but for six people, it’s not like we’ll be overwhelmed with dishes.) After I watched a little TV, I threw together a baked squash casserole for today (so all I needed to do this morning is put the bread crumbs on top and put it in the oven), then puttered around the house, picking stuff up. This past weekend it was my intention to spend a few hours cleaning the house (dusting and vacuuming) yesterday, but in the end I decided I’d have plenty of time to do that this morning, and so I put it off. And then last night I was informed that people would start showing up between 9 and 9:30 (for a meal that will take place at noon), so I spent two hours cleaning the house whilst shooting hate rays at Fred. On the up side, I didn’t have to get up early to start cleaning. On the down side, I still got woken up at 4:40ish because there was a puddle of water in the laundry room and no idea as to how it got there. We’re absolutely clueless – this wasn’t even a puddle of water, it was like a mini-lake, and there were a couple of wet spots on the ceiling, but the water wasn’t anywhere near the wet spots. Fred suggested that water blew in around the back door, but there was no water anywhere near the back door. It’s a fucking mystery, is what it is. Speaking of the baked squash casserole (like I was up there, somewhere), in the summer when we had tons o’ summer squash coming in, one day I cut up and cooked a bunch of squash and mashed it up and froze it. No one ever recommends that you freeze summer squash because rumor has it that it doesn’t freeze or can well and it’s one of those vegetables you should just enjoy while it’s around and try not to preserve for future use, but I thought that maybe cooking it before freezing it would work. Yesterday, I thawed out the frozen pack of squash, added the butter and bread crumbs and onion and eggs, and tasted it, and it tastes pretty good. I’ll have to keep that in mind for next summer. Okay, pictures to post, then I’m off to put some makeup on, ’cause people are on the way. Don’t eat too much, y’all. Or eat a ton and don’t forget your afternoon nap. Whichever you prefer!
* * *
I lurve cardinals. (flickr)
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Pretty Elle in the sun. Bath time in the condo. Punki is disturbed. “What?” ***************************** Of COURSE if there’s an empty paper bag, Mister Boogers must climb into it. He spent half of yesterday in this bag. Note the little piece of styrofoam stuck to his nose. Goofy cat.
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Previously 2006: Barium scars a motherfucker for life. 2005: But I could manage a paper cut/ in the name of love 2004: “Oh, my heart,” I moaned. 2003: This perpetually surprised look of Michael Jackson’s makes me laugh until I wheeze. 2002: “YES, JESUS CHRIST! I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE SUCH A FRIGGIN’ BIG DEAL!” I bellowed. “I NEEDED TO BE AT MY COMPUTER, BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE THE PHONE NUMBER WAS! JESUS!” 2001: No entry. 2000: I’ve visited Wal-Mart three times in the last five days. I think they’re about to name a parking space after me. 1999: F: In Michigan, you can take this bottle to the recycling center and get ten cents for it.]]>

11-21-07

by @ Wednesday, November 21st, 2007. Filed under Life

Sunsilk De-Frizz hair goop, which I have been looking for all over hell and creation (or at least in Target and the grocery store) and have been unable to find and was certain had been discontinued. And they were $2.50 per bottle, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been paying at least $3 a bottle, so I bought two. Then I was looking around some more, and as I wandered through the kitchen section, I realized that we do not have ANY serving platters, and since we’re serving not one, not two, but THREE different kinds of meat at Thanksgiving, we might need a serving platter or two. There were very simple, plain white serving platters there for $3.50 each, so I called Fred and double-checked with him, and he reminded me that we needed a gravy boat if there were any available, and also perhaps some simple serving bowls might be in order and oh yeah, how about some serving spoons? So I looked for a gravy boat, but alas there were none. I did find serving bowls that matched the platters, so I bought three of those (for $1.50 each) and then I found two big serving spoons and a ladle for 99 cents each. And so I went into Big Lots to look for plain, simple, matching glasses, and ended up with glasses, hair stuff, serving bowls, serving platters, serving spoons, and a ladle for somewhere in the area of $43. But I saved $8.88! Go, Super Shopper, go! Then I went to the movie store to return the movies, and while I was there I rented Hairspray and Live Free or Die Hard. Then I ran over to the grocery store to buy milk (and given the price of milk and how slowly we use it, I am seriously considering starting to immediately freeze half of the half-gallon I buy so it doesn’t go to waste. Did you know you can freeze milk? You won’t want to freeze it if you’re planning on drinking it straight, but for use in recipes, it’ll do just fine.) and while I was there I was distracted by the display of dishes they sell, and guess what? That’s right, they were selling a gravy boat! But I don’t need no stinkin’ $14 gravy boat, thank you, so I bought my milk and I went along my merry way. Today, I have a hair appointment and since I’ll be headed that way, I very well might stop by Target and see what they’ve got in the way of gravy boats. Depending on how busy they are, that is – if they’re packed, I’m not stopping. Fuck gravy boats, anyway – we’ve got bowls and we’ve got a ladle, who seriously needs a damn gravy boat for real?

* * *
1. How will you be spending your Thanksgiving this year? Fred’s mother, stepfather, sister, and her husband are coming here for dinner, which we’ll be eating around noon. 2. Will you be cooking or are you just an eater? We’re cooking, but not a huge amount – mostly meat, the greens, and squash casserole. Fred’s also making a carrot cake. 3. Do you watch the parade every year or football!! Neither. 4. What’s your favorite float? I can’t remember the last time I watched the parade, if ever. 5. Dark meat or white meat? A little of each. 6. Leg or breast? A little of each! 7. What is your favorite dish besides the turkey? I really like the sweet potatoes. Deviled eggs, too. 8. Homemade cranberry sauce or cranberry sauce from the can? I don’t think I’ve ever had homemade cranberry sauce, but I really like the stuff from the can. 9. Do you decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving day? HELL no. I’m lucky if I get any decorations up by Christmas Eve! 10. What are some special family traditions? I don’t think there are any hard-and-fast family traditions. People show up, people eat, people leave. Works for me. 11. Pumpkin pie or pecan? Pumpkin! 12. What is your favorite thing to do with the leftovers? Eat them? I like to make turkey soup with the leftover turkey carcass. 13. How long will you spend eating your thanksgiving meal? I don’t know – an hour? I never timed it. 14. Are you worried about putting on weight this Thanksgiving? Not particularly. 15. What do you normally eat at Thanksgiving? Turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes, gravy. A little of everything, really. 16. What will you be thankful for this Thanksgiving? My family, my health, my home. (And that Spot can’t jump up on the bed anymore without a struggle, so he can’t kill me in my sleep.) 17. What is your best Thanksgiving memory? The time Leroy thought he’d be funny and told my mother he was going to eat gravy “The way the good lord intended”, then stuck his entire nose in the gravy bowl, honked up a snootful of gravy, lifted up his head and showed us a wide, victorious gravy grin, then choked on the gravy dripping (pouring) down the back of his throat and horked it up all over the table and half the family. Leroy’s the only one who found it funny at the time, since a coating of gravy and snot didn’t engender a great deal of uncontrollable amusement in those of us so coated, but in retrospect it’s a fond memory. Good ol’ Leroy. Family gatherings just aren’t the same without him. Le sigh. 18. Do you give cards or presents at Thanksgiving? Fuck no. Do people give PRESENTS at Thanksgiving? Seriously? What the fuck? 19. Are you planning on going shopping the day after Thanksgiving? Online, maybe. 20. Will you be waking up early to hit the sales? HELLZ no.
* * *
Pretty, pretty Elle. Sweet, goofy Felicia. Skittles, keeping an eye on something. Time to tap the lens cap. “What IS it?!” ***************************** I think it’s safe to say that Madame Stinkerbelle is not going to be a small cat.
* * *
Previously 2006: Right. Because six is perfectly normal, but SEVEN would be lunacy. 2005: Every time I contemplate reading those books, I get a “Good god, I DON’T WANNA!” sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, which to me is a sign that, y’know, I DON’T WANNA and YOU CAN’T MAKE ME. 2004: No entry. 2003: No entry. 2002: Fuck him, too. 2001: It don’t get any better than that, nosir. 2000: I see enough nasty stuff in my life. 1999: No entry.]]>

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