Fostering – Page 75

12/5/08

It’s that time of year! If you want a holiday card from Crooked Acres, go here and follow the directions. I will absolutely send cards to other countries. If you’d like to send me a card (definitely not required, but always appreciated), you can send it to PO Box 565, Madison, Alabama, 35758. & & … Continue reading “12/5/08”

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Get yer calendars!!!

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It got so cold yesterday that I finally gave up, went out to the wood shed, got a pile of wood, and made a fire. I’m apparently a fire-building prodigy, because that fire was AWESOME.

(Okay, maybe the Yankee Kindle Candles had something to do with it. MAYBE.)

Now that I know I can build fires with not much trouble, I’m going to be a fire-building fool.

The only problem is that I have to leave the back door cracked so the cats can go out in the back yard, and even if I just leave the door open a tiny bit, the air from outside is FRIGID and it kind of makes it pointless to build a fire.

There’s a doorway between the kitchen and laundry room, and there was originally a door there. We took it down because it kind of got in the way, but I think Fred’s going to put it back up this weekend and put a cat door in it. That should hold back at least some of the cold air. I hope.

(Yes, I could just make the cats stay inside when it’s 25 degrees outside, but they like going outside SO much, and they get SO miserable when they can’t, and they are SO spoiled rotten that I can’t bring myself to abuse them so.)

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Too cute:

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today’s Big Thing.

(Thanks, Deserie, for sending it my way!)

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Do you think you could get the recipe for the popcorn from Nance? I’ve been looking for a good one for some time.

Anyone who wants the popcorn recipe, email me and I’ll send it along to you.

Let me say here, though, that I brought a big-ass tin of the popcorn home with me and His Majesty didn’t care for it. I still thought it was good, but I’ll admit that it’s best when it’s fresh.

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Silly me, I assumed that when chickens roosted they would “sit” facing the same direction. It’s so nice of you to give Newtles such a nice, private place to sleep. Too bad you will need to wash the towels regularly.

I always thought they’d face the same way, but when you think about it, it makes sense that they’d face opposite ways – I bet they fit together better that way, and stay warmer!

You think too highly of my housekeeping skills. I don’t wash those towels regularly – I just don’t take from the top of the pile! (Those are extra towels, ones we use to dry off cats or the floor if we’ve gone out in the rain and subsequently dripped water all over the floor. They’re not the ones we use after showering or anything.)

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When I was a vet tech we had one [a Great Pyrenees] come in that had gotten into antifreeze, VERY DEADLY, and the treatment then was iv alcohol. That’s right, iv EverClear to be more specific. For 3 days we had to keep him drunk. They’re not small dogs, it was like having a drunk human to deal with. Even while he was smashed he did try to keep the concerned look going, well until he’d pass out.

I actually had no idea that there was a treatment for pets that had gotten into antifreeze, I thought it was an automatic death sentence. Ya learn something new every day, eh?

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Chicken ears?! I guess I never thought of their ears before!

I know, isn’t it odd to think of chicken ears? How else would they hear the “OMIGOD THERE’S FOOD” call from the other chickens, though?

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How is it that you have no Maine accent what so ever? I spent the 8th grade in Bangor and I could barely understand what those kids were saying.

‘Cause I didn’t actually grow up in Maine. My growing-up years were spent in Canada, Indiana, Michigan and Guam, ’cause my father was in the Air Force. When I worked at LL Bean many years ago, taking orders, a caller asked why I sounded like I was from the Midwest instead of Maine. I don’t think I sound like I have any accent at all, personally.

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I curse you for telling me about Tim Tams. I went to Target today and looked for them, found them on sale, brought them back to work and proceeded to eat 1/2 the box. They are very good. Thank goodness I don’t go to Target often, but if I found my car heading in that direction I will quickly re-direct. Tim Tams are the devil!!!

I AGREE. I asked Fred yesterday if he needed anything from Target and he said “Tim Tams!”, so I bought a pack of the regular and a pack of the caramel. I behaved and didn’t eat any during the day, but once he got home and opened the pack, it was ALL OVER. (I prefer the chocolate creme to the caramel, personally.)

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I passed by the Tim Tams the other day deciding that they must be evil bits of crack best to be avoided.

Smart thinkin’! I recommend you all stay far, far away from Tim Tams. They are EVIL. It’s how Australia will end up taking over the world – we’ll all be rolling around, clutching our guts and moaning in pain, and they’ll just swoop right in and conquer us. Those wily damn Australians!

You sound softer and gentler in real life than you did in my head. I’m sure that sounds insulting but I don’t mean it to be. Maybe it’s because I have the audio image of you bellowing “Who wants snackin’?” in a not so docile voice in my head. Aaaanyway, I’ll just shut up now.

It always surprises me when I hear a blogger’s voice and they sound all sweet and girly. For some reason, in my mind most of you sound like pack-a-day whiskey drinkers.

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I don’t know why I was so surprised that you didn’t have a southern accent – this is the first time I have heard you talking and in my mind I always think you would have a southern accent, even though I know you are from the North.

I has no accent at all! I am neutral!

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I LOVE that picture of Maddie by the tree. And doesn’t Nance have the most awesome ornaments on her tree?

It was really nice to have Nance’s Christmas tree to admire and get me in the holiday mood, ’cause we won’t have a Christmas tree this year and I always like a nice Christmas tree. With ten cats, it’s just too much of a pain in the ass to put up a tree, but I’ll still have decorations scattered around the house. Nance had some really nice ornaments on her tree – including one I sent her the year she adopted Maddy, with a picture of Maddy in it, and “My first year” across the top of it. (The sock monkey’s my favorite, though!)

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You should do a video journal entry sometime (with you and/or you and Fred). That would be awesome!

I don’t even have to check with Fred to know his answer is “When hell freezes over!” He’s camera shy and doesn’t like the sound of his voice (I don’t know why – I think it’s a perfectly nice voice.)

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Is the Spud going to visit you anytime?? You must miss her.

She’s supposed to come visit in January! Yay!!!!

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Which cats are indoor/outdoor and which are only indoor and why? Are any declawed??

The only cat who doesn’t go outside is Stinkerbelle, because she’s a scaredy-cat and can’t quite figure out the cat door. The others go outside whenever the back door is open (less often when it’s as cold as it’s been lately), except for Maxi and Newt, who go outside whenever they want and are free ranging cats. (When it’s due to be especially cold, Fred will keep them inside unless they’re insistent about wanting to go out.)

We use SoftPaws on our cats to lessen the scratching issues. Well – we use them when we get around to it; it’s been a while since we had a SoftPaw session, though. The cats are actually behaving themselves and not digging at the couch, so we haven’t been in any hurry to cap them up.

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disgusting would be like, pickle/peanut butter jam. berries and spice aren’t so gross.

Is it weird that I think pickle/ peanut butter jam sounds kind of good?

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Is Nance Polish? The haluski sounds Polish. I’m from PA originally and my dad’s polish grandprents lived in Pittsburgh for a while. I will have to ask my dad and aunt if they know about the haluski. LOVE the sock monkey ornament I missed it because I was focused on Maddy. Comments are fun they offer a different take on an entry.

Nance said: I’m sure there’s some Polish in me somewhere – but Haluski is definitely a favorite ‘burgh thing because everybody around here (even the EYE-talions – hee) eat it. We also fart a lot. Snort.

For some reason, “haluski” sounds to me like some kind of fish you’d get in Minnesota, I don’t know why.

I agree about comments!

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A youtube hardehar that had me rolling in the aisle

I’ve actually seen that! Local reader Jean sent it to me, and I forgot to link to it for y’all.

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Did you watch Stephen Colbert’s christmas special? John Legend had a pretty funny song about Nutmeg!

I had NOT seen that, but it made me laugh out loud. I love Stephen Colbert.

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I want to know how to make the cinnamon rolls too!

The recipe, direct from Fred’s mouth: Make basic bread dough, roll it out, paint it with a mixture of melted butter, sugar and cinnamon (to your taste), roll it up, slice it, let it rise again, dollop more butter/ sugar/ cinnamon on top, bake at 400, 20 – 30 minutes. You may need to cover them toward the end to keep them from getting too brown.

If you see them boiling in butter, you know you’ve done it right.

(He used our bread machine to make the basic bread dough, if that helps.)

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OMG have you seen this cat toy? Flinga-ama-string – click on the video.

Oh my god, I WANT THAT. I might have to get that for the cats for Christmas…

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…Is no one going to address the absolute cuteness of the petite Felina ?
Such a good girl to protect her MommaNance and guard her domain. She is sooo adorable and seems to always have a “???” look on her little face. Totally squishable too.

Felina is absolutely adorable, there’s no doubt about it (especially when they dress her up!). I have to admit, by the end of my visit, if I’d walked into a room and Felina had NOT barked at me, I might have been a little bit disappointed.

Luckily, that never happened!

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So, while I was in Pennsylvania, those unappreciative little bratty kittens, who’d spent NO TIME at all downstairs before I left (or rather, Lem would come downstairs, run around, but bolt back upstairs if anyone looked at him funny), started coming downstairs.

The first night I was gone, Fred told me that Delmar had not only come downstairs, he’d actually CLIMBED UP IN FRED’S LAP AND STAYED THERE WHILE FRED WATCHED TV.

Brats.

Actually, Fred doesn’t go upstairs and hang out with the kittens nearly as much as I do, so with me being gone, Delmar was probably love-starved and thus came looking for love. Since I’ve been home, he comes downstairs every evening, and last night he climbed up into my lap a few times.

Every time I look at him, I want to squeeze the stuffing out of him. I mean, I want to squeeze them all, but especially Delmar.

More pics over at Love & Hisses.

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“Heyyyyyy, baby, you come to this printer often? There’s puh-lenty of room for two, trust me sweet thing. You could always sit on Suggie’s lap. I won’t bite. Unless you want me to, of course. Muh-YOW!”

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Previously
2007: I assure you that if Stinkerbelle saw those hussies all snuggled up with HER MAN, she would NOT be pleased!
2006: Le sigh.
2005: no, I didn’t take anything for the pain. Then I couldn’t bitch about the pain. DUH!
2004: Yep, fuck that.
2003: The child is evil. EVIL, I say.
2002: (Close your email clients, you damn Crimson-heads. I know you lurrrve your football team and all, but really. Breaking news?)
2001: Woman of the Year.
2000: What can I say? I’m just the kinda gal who likes profanity in her daily email…
1999: “Let’s kill the Mommy bitch and eat all the canned cat food in the house, then lay around and lick the litter out from between our toes.”

12/4/08

Sadly, after I talked in Tuesday’s entry about how much I love the white silkie, Fred found her in the chicken yard, dead. Something had gotten her, she was half-eaten. I don’t know if it was a hawk or a stray cat or what, but I hope whatever got her killed her quickly and she … Continue reading “12/4/08”

RIP, little silkie.

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(Snapped by my sister in Maine yesterday.)

So, I had my mammogram yesterday morning. Despite some confusion on my part – I drove right by the building, because I was looking for The Breast Center, without realizing that it’s located in a building called The Women’s Pavilion (you’d think a lightbulb would have gone off for me, but sadly no), so I drove around a little before I realized I’d passed it a couple of times. Luckily, I left a few minutes earlier than I needed to, so I wasn’t late.

This place does a LOT of mammograms apparently, because they were getting women in and out of there pretty quickly. My appointment was at 7:30 and I was out of there by 7:50.

It wasn’t painful for me – possibly because my boobs are like lemons in tube socks right now due to the weight loss (you’re welcome for that visual) and thus not so hard to flatten out. At this point in my life I’m not too terribly self-conscious about having any parts of my body handled by medical professionals, and the mammogram tech (I’m sure there’s a more correct word for her job, but I don’t know what it is) was warm and professional, so I didn’t keel over with embarrassment.

I left there, picked up some breakfast, and headed toward Madison. Fred needs new jeans, so I stopped by Kohl’s and looked for some for him, but couldn’t find them in his size. I browsed around for a little while, but ultimately ended up leaving without buying anything.

There was an empty parking space next to my car, and as I approached my car, I saw a cell phone laying there. I picked it up to see if it worked. It did, and I scrolled through the “contacts” list, but there were no obvious listings that said “Home”, and rather than start calling random people in the cell owner’s phone book and saying “I found this cell phone? In the parking lot of Kohl’s? And you were in their phone book? Any idea?”, I went back into Kohl’s and turned it in at Customer Service.

From there, I went to Publix to buy some pint-size canning jars. We may be making strawberry-habanero and raspberry-habanero jam in the next little while to sell, and we have very few pint-size jars, so I needed to see how much they cost at Publix.

I walked in the front door of Publix and a woman was getting her bags and her baby out of the cart, so I stood back, and then when she turned around, I glanced down at her baby (I’m a sucker for redheads and he was a cutie) and she and I smiled at each other, and I went to grab a cart, thinking at the same time Huh. She looked kind of familiar…

And then she said “Robyn?”

It was Megan and Declan!

This would be the first time I’ve ever been out in public and had someone recognize me. I’m sure I looked like a deer in the headlights, because I so didn’t expect it. Declan flirted with me for a few moments, and then we parted ways.

It was nice to meet you, Megan!

I bought all the pint jars Publix had in stock, went down to Staples for address labels, then headed out to the shelter I volunteer for. I had to pick up cat food and a few other things, and while I was there, I visited with Chemda and Susannah, former fosters of mine (Chemda last year, Susannah last year), who were adopted out and then returned.

They both grew up to be awfully sweet.

I left and stopped at the other Publix in Madison to pick up more canning jars. The teenaged bag boy looked horribly disgusted at the idea of strawberry-habanero and raspberry-habanero jams.

I headed home and decided to try a different route home. We used to be able to take a road straight from Madison to Smallville, but they’ve been working on a section of it FORFUCKINGEVER, so we have to cut up to Closeville, and the traffic drives me a little crazy, so I tried a different way. I managed to get all turned around and finally called Fred, who looked on Google Maps and told me where to go. What the hell did we do before the invention of the cell phone, I ask you? I could have been lost in the wilds of Alabama for hours and hours without the help of Fred and Google!

I got home, and the cats danced around until I opened the back door for them (poor Kara didn’t get to go outside at all on Tuesday, and it was driving her crazy), which made them happy.

I spent the rest of the day puttering around, getting stuff done, getting stuff put away, cleaning the kitchen. You know, the usual.

I decided that the humidifier I ordered from Gaiam.com – the whole-house one I was looking forward to having – is not really all that. It might work well for a house with a more open floor-plan, but in our house where the rooms are separate (BUT EQUAL), I think more (smaller) humidifiers will work better than one big (expensive) humidifier.

And for the record, the Crane pig humidifier I got from Amazon is adorable, very quiet, and does a great job. Also, the fact that the steam shoots out its ears cracks me UP, I don’t care what Fred says about it being dorky.

I have a small humidifier in the dining room, the pig humidifier upstairs, and I think I’m going to get a cow humidifier for the front room and call it good.

(By the way, I got the demineralization cartridge for the pig humidifier to prevent the white dust a couple of you mentioned.)

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The last of my Pennsylvania pictures:

Had Maddy been looking at the camera, this would have been a good Christmas card picture. As it is, it looks like she’s thinking “O Lord, when will the picture-taking end?”

In this light, she looks more like a brown tabby than the silver one she actually is. What’s clear is that she has NO USE for me.

The Big Lots lava cake mix. I thought it was pretty good, but Nance wasn’t crazy ’bout it.

Felina, in a rare non-yappy moment.

The gas-inducing haluski. So, so, so good.

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Four more podcasts from Dorkville.

We are the biggest dorks on earth. I think number 7 is my favorite so far.

Dorkville-Take 4 from Robyn Anderson on Vimeo.

Dorkville – Take 5 from Robyn Anderson on Vimeo.

Dorkville – Take 6 from Robyn Anderson on Vimeo.

Dorkville – Take 7 from Nance on Vimeo.

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Lem gets very excited at snack time!

(See the whole series of pics over at Love & Hisses.)

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Joe Bob apparently got into it with someone and got a scratch across his nose for his troubles. Good ol’ Joe Bob.

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Previously
2007: She’s a force to be reckoned with, that one.
2006: They are NOT OUR CATS. They have owners, damnit, and they’re not us!
2005: No entry.
2004: It is FUCKING cold downstairs in our house.
2003: And then I got the Best Picture EVER Taken.
2002: Fluff? Perhaps. But very entertaining fluff.
2001: “Who’s Robyn?” said the realtor.
2000: “You little bastard!” I yelled, and then ran at him
1999: Through three moves and a name change,
they’ve managed to keep up with me, sending address labels all the way.

11-28-08

I am actually going to be traveling today, but because I love you, I did my usual Comment-Answering Extravaganza late last night. & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & It’s that time of year! If you want a holiday … Continue reading “11-28-08”

I am actually going to be traveling today, but because I love you, I did my usual Comment-Answering Extravaganza late last night.

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Get yer calendars!!!

2009 Crooked Acres Calendar. ~~~~~ 2009 And3rson Kitties Calendar. ~~~ 2009 And3rson Foster Kitties Calendar.

(All calendars are marked one dollar above base price; all proceeds are donated to the local no-kill cat shelter I volunteer for.)

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I put makeup on exactly twice a year – once at Thanksgiving, once at Christmas – and I always feel compelled to document the result.

Thanksgiving breakfast was FABULOUS. Fred made cinnamon rolls (and it pisses me off that he can do things like make cinnamon rolls with no recipe whatsoever and they come out SO DAMN GOOD), and the bacon and sausage was a big hit, and so was the sausage gravy. Fred went off to take a nap after everyone left, and I vegged out in front of the computer, then did laundry and packed so I wouldn’t have to get up this morning and do that.

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What it’s like when you walk into the new chicken yard. Note that the pigs get bitchy because I don’t have any food for them. They are spoiled ROTTEN.

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I must know: your thoughts on the True Blood season finale AND the Atlanta Housewives Reunion! (To the latter let me just say: OY.)

True Blood spoilers in this section.

I actually forgot that Rene was the bad guy – it’s been so long since I read the book that there’s a lot I just don’t remember. I still adore Sam, I am not surprised that Bill practically sacrificed himself to save Sookie, and I cannot stand that Maryann chick. Was she in the book? I don’t like her. And I can’t believe we have to wait ’til next Summer to see more of the series, damnit.

Atlanta Housewives Reunion spoilers in this section.

NeNe was just loaded for bear, wasn’t she? She was intense and confrontational, and I had a hard time even looking at the TV when she was yelling at Kim! I cracked UP when she rolled her eyes when Kim was talking about her album coming out in January (my guess: either the album will never come out, or it’ll be someone else’s voice!). Boy, you just always know where you stand with NeNe, don’t you? She doesn’t hesitate to tell you what she thinks! And the whole thing where Kim told NeNe that NeNe KNEW Kim was sick and NeNe saying “No, I didn’t, no one ever told me that!” – how good friends were they really if Kim never told NeNe that she had (as Lisa put it) “Cancer.” I find that whole “My doctor said it was 90% certain that I had cancer” and then just left it, and the interviewer (I can never remember his name) had to say “So, you don’t have cancer?” “No, but I have other things wrong that I’m not prepared to talk about” – I find that kind of suspect!

I was so surprised by Lisa just going OFF on Kim, I felt like it kind of came out of nowhere – not that Lisa didn’t have a reason to go off, it was just that she went from zero to 60 in no time flat. I had to rewind to make sure I hadn’t missed something that set her off!

DeShawn might be simple, but damn – she’s the most diplomatic of the bunch and she wasn’t going to give anyone any kind of ammunition to use against her! She was the only one who didn’t get caught up in the trash-talking (well, Sheree didn’t either, did she? I don’t remember that she did, maybe I’m just not remembering.)

Dwight needs to lose the long hair. He’s not a bad-looking man (though when you see him talking from the side, it’s apparent that he’s had some sort of chin plastic surgery!), but he looks so much better without that dreadful weave!

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Robyn, don’t shorten those curtains from the bottom. Cut off the top edge, and sew a new “pocket” for the curtain rod. Much easier than dealing with the scalloped hem. All you need to do is measure and sew a few straight lines on the machine!

The curtains were made of very sheer, gauzy material and I’m pretty sure they were beyond my sewing skills, I can’t imagine trying to sew that stuff!

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Robyn, do you drink tea? If you (or any readers!) do, you have to try a Tim Tam Slam. Bite off opposing corners (diagonal from each other), put one corner in the tea, your mouth on the other corner. Suck in the tea just until it hits your lips, and then very quickly put the entire thing in your mouth. You’ll thank me.

After Monday, when I ate so many Tim Tams I spent the evening clutching at my gut and bemoaning my stupidity, I think it’s best that Tim Tams be banned from the premises. I am breaking up with the Tim Tams (at least until I see the display at Target and packages of Tim Tams throw themselves in my cart, that is).

I don’t drink tea, but I’ve certainly heard about the Tim Tam Slam, and I’ve encouraged Fred to give it a try.

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Isn’t it funny, when Oreos first became available here Downunder people went crazy. Tim Tams were so … ho hum. Send me your address and I shall send you a TimTam package.

I can’t blame y’all for being crazy about Oreos – those things are damn good. I can see being ho-hum about them, though. If you can get them any ol’ time, there’s not the sense of urgency to have as many as you can cram in your mouth, right?

And thanks for offering to send me a package, but see above about how I’ve broken up with the Tim Tams. Those things are too damn good.

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For anyone wanting to learn more about all things homesteady — gardening, chickens, GOATS 😉 I highly recommend you head over to http://www.homesteadingtoday.com

I love that site – I don’t get around to visiting it very often, but I enjoy it when I do.

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The calendars are very cute!! But on a more serious note – do you think you can do anything about the Plain-Jane situation?

It’s only happenstance that Jane updated yesterday, you understand. Otherwise I’d be answering this question by saying that Jane’s gearing up to manage Holly’s campaign for the 2040 presidency and can’t be updating all the time. Apparently I’m wrong, and she can totally neglect the campaign to update her journal. That campaign’s not going to run itself, Jane!

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You know, Robyn, if you guys bought a dairy cow (or even a goat) you’d never have to go grocery shopping. You’d be making your own butter to cook your own eggs and potatoes. To eat with your own bacon. And put on your own veggies. ‘Course you’d have to grow some wheat so you could mill it and bake your own bread, too.

You know what annoys me? That there’s no way we could ever be completely free of having to visit the grocery store and purchase certain things, like flour, sugar… kitty litter, cat food. You know, the important things we can’t create ourselves (or at least not on 4 1/2 acres! We need more land, pronto.)

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Where did you find the big humidifier? it’s it free standing? Will you tell me if you like it? For some reason I have had the hardest time finding one. grrrr.

I ordered mine off the Gaiam site, this one.

(If that link doesn’t work, go to Gaiam.com and search on “humidifier”; it’s the whole-house humidifier) It’s more than I’d hoped to spend, but hopefully it’s quiet and will work for the whole house (at least the whole first floor!); I’ll definitely let you know if I like it; I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

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I went to Target specifically to get Tim Tams and couldn’t find any! Either I didn’t look close enough or they haven’t made their way to Arkansas yet.

I found them in two locations in our local Target – at the end of one of the cash registers, about halfway down the row of registers. They’re also, surprisingly enough, in the cookie aisle. Look closely, they kind of look like any other package of Pepperidge Farm cookies.

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Do any of your cats put things in their food and water bowls? My cat likes to get her puff balls, my pony tail holders, that little ring around the milk jug, a plastic ring she found of my daughters, etc. She also likes to bring stuff and put it in my bed. Last night I was blessed with a soaking wet puff ball and most mornings I wake up with her black and red ribbon in my bed.

I’ve had cats put toys and other stuff in their water – though none of our current cats do it much. It can be a way to help them figure out where the top of the water is. You can cut up a straw and float the pieces in the water to help them see where the water begins, and see if that helps.

Also, what is with the infernal licking? She’s an inside cat, terrified of the outdoors (guess I shouldn’t have named her “Bad Ass Ninja Cat”) and cleans herself constantly. Annoyingly constantly. Every time I pet her she has to clean herself and/or me. Licking, licking, licking, licking. GAH.

Some cats are just constant groomers – but keep an eye on her. Some cats groom as a nervous habit, and it can get to be a problem. If you see any bare spots or the skin underneath her fur seems inflamed, you might need to take a trip to the vet.

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The best humidifiers are from Crane’s on Amazon. I have the Hello Kitty one and the froggie and I heart them.

It’s possible I might have ordered the Crane’s pig humidifier. DAMN YOU, Astruc! I am weak in the face of cuteness.

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In this dream, there were a shortage of pigs on the planet and humans were being used as surrogates. Here I was, pregnant with piglets, and you happened to be the only qualified human/piglet midwife. So I made the 5 minute drive from Maryland to Alabama so that you could deliver my piglets.

Thought you might want to know… May be a new career for you!

Hmmm. I wonder how much schooling I’d need to become a human/ piglet midwife? It certainly sounds interesting – and baby piglets are so cute. I bet I could birth the HELL out of piglets with SCOOP HANDS.

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Well, well, well. You are so far ahead of the curve; this link is soooooo two weeks ago.

http://mightyhaus.com/archives/2008/11/bear-claw-scoops

Heh.

It’s hard to resist the SCOOP HANDS. Remember where you heard about ’em first!

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I thought Alabama was part of the humid south. Am I wrong?

It’s plenty humid here in the summer, but in the winter, the cold weather brings very dry air along with it. I’d guess that it’s rare to have much humidity in any location where the weather gets cold in the fall and winter.

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Why Robyn Has Caused Me to Need Therapy: Tim Tams sounded interesting. When I was at Target, I looked for them but couldn’t find them. So I just thought I’d go on Amazon and see if they had them, or what they looked like so I would know what I was looking for. I entered “Tim Tam” in the search box. This is what came up:

http://tinyurl.com/5kmckc

I think I have lost interest in Tim Tams.

What, you don’t want a meal of haggis and spotted dick with some Tim Tams to wash it down with?

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Mister Boogers is not snuggling with Newt. He is trying to push him out of the bed so he can have it all to himself. Newt is trying to hang on for dear life.

and

Was Newt actually curled up IN that cat bed? If he was, Mister Boogers sure snuggled him right out of it. Newt doesn’t look at all comfortable. He’s going to wake up any minute and ask WTF?!!!

and

Poor Newtles! How long did it take him to realize that most of him had been scootched out of the cat bed?

Here’s how it went – Mister Boogers was laying in Fred’s desk chair, so Fred picked him up and put him on my desk (I was off watching TV, I think). Mister Boogers went over to the cat bed where Newt was sleeping, and just sat there and looked out the window for a long time. Eventually, he curled up and went to sleep, snuggled up to Newt. Newt apparently didn’t mind the snuggling, but over the course of about an hour Mister Boogers expanded to take up more and more of the cat bed, and Newt kept having to move to get comfortable, and as you can see, he ended up with more of him hanging out of the bed than there was of him IN the bed. He finally woke up and found a more hospitable place to sleep, which only reinforced to Mister Boogers that whatever Boogie wants, Boogie gets!

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Hello! Can you remind me (probably again since you’ve probably explained it but I don’t remember) how you guys ended up with Newt and Maxi? Didn’t they belong to some neighbors? Did the neighbors give them up or did you guys just slowly, over time, end up with the two cats? I remember them being outdoor-only and I remember the box that you guys made on the porch but I don’t remember when they made the switch to indoor/”your” cats.

Maxi and Newt were originally stray cats, kinda (though we found out later that Maxi actually belonged to the people who sold us this house – who just left her here. Grrrr!), and when Maxi showed up on our front porch with a litter of kittens, Fred talked to the lady two doors down, who told us that they (Maxi and Newt) had just kind of appeared one day. Since they didn’t belong to anyone, we asked the Challenger’s House (the shelter I volunteer for) manager if we could foster the kittens and adopt them out via Challenger’s House. She was okay with that, and the lady who lives two doors down said she’d take Newt and Maxi. We had them spayed and neutered, and the lady took them in, but they were so miserable being inside that that didn’t last long, and they started coming to our house pretty regularly. When the weather got cold, Fred was worried that they’d freeze to death, so he built them a (heated!) cat house. He started letting them in the house for a little while at a time, and then one night it was supposed to get really, really cold and he was worried about them, so we brought them in and kept them inside (in the foster kitten room) overnight. That kind of broke the dam as far as the cats were concerned, so we started letting them in and out whenever they wanted, and they just kind of became ours. They hang out at the lady’s house (two doors down) during the day sometimes, but I think we all pretty much agree that they belong to us! 🙂

Also, have you been watching “Ruby” on the Style Network? The show is about an overweight woman from Savannah who is struggling to lose weight because of the health-related issues with being almost 500 lbs. Just curious if you’ve seen it and what you think.

I watched the first episode of “Ruby” and enjoyed it, but I need to set up to tape the rest of them! The thing that struck me about the show was when Ruby went to her friend’s house for dinner, and her friend was making, I don’t even remember what it was, lard-coated lard deep-fried in lard or something (actually, I think it was the mac & cheese that caught my attention) and talked about how they’d go on diets together but they never lasted, and I don’t know. I understand not wanting to make her unhappy by denying her the foods she loves, but the friends aren’t helping, if they really are concerned about helping her lose the weight she wants to lose. I’m looking forward to seeing how the rest of the series goes.

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I do have a question for you: What is the spud doing for Thanksgiving? Has she ever missed a major holiday with you?

(I’m not asking to make you sad, and I hope the question doesn’t — I’ll be away from both my kids on Thanksgiving and just wondered how you felt about it).

The spud spent Thanksgiving with her father and stepmother, just the three of them for Thanksgiving dinner this year.

She’s actually lived in Rhode Island for about a year and a half now, so I didn’t see her for Thanksgiving last year, nor for Christmas (though I did see her in January, when I flew to Maine and then drove down to Rhode Island with my sister and mother to spend the day with her). I figure, I got to have her for each and every major holiday for the first 19 years of her life (except the Christmas when she was 10 or 11, which she spent in Rhode Island with her father), so I guess it’s her father’s turn for a few years!

We do text and talk pretty often, and while it’s certainly not the same as having her here, it definitely does help!

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FYI…Steve & Barry’s is going out of business, so if you want to stock up on t-shirts, now is the time to do it!

Damn, I wish I’d realized that when I was at the mall on Monday. I guess it’s another trip to the mall for me next week! Steve & Barry’s has THE best t-shirts, bar none.

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when you have kitteh duty at the pet store, you often mention how you have to go back to buy something because they’re not open. Well, how do you get in? Is someone there to let you in, or does Challenger’s House have a key? Or do volunteers break and enter on a daily basis?

We volunteers are like Santa. We just slide down the chimney!

Actually, there are pet store employees at the store from 6:30 or so onward (and actually, the little grooming place inside the store is open earlier than the store is), so if the door hasn’t been left unlocked (which it rarely is), we can ring the doorbell and an employee will come and let us in. Then we have to find a manager with the key to the cat room to let us in there. If I can’t find a manager (they’re usually busy doing something, and I can’t always tell who’s a manager and who isn’t), I throw myself on the mercy of one of the store employees, and they always offer to find a manager for me. The employees of the pet store are without a doubt the most helpful employees of just about any store I’ve been in!

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Bet you didn’t know your chickens can do this….

I did not! When we went out to visit with the chickens after breakfast/ dinner yesterday (we like to drag the relatives out to admire the chickens. They don’t seem to mind too much!) Fred picked up a chicken and demonstrated that very thing for his parents. I shoulda had the video camera with me!

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That is one fine stalker rooster! You must have more than one rooster I am thinking though. Do they get along or is there a head rooster?

We have two adult roosters right now (and one that’s just starting to try to crow, so he’s got a ways to go for he’s completely mature). Michelle seems to be the head rooster, and he and the golden rooster don’t seem to fight too much – the golden rooster seems to be fully aware of the fact that Michelle’s King Shit.

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Maybe next year you could raise your own turkey:-)

At this point, we’re actually planning on getting a handful of turkeys when we get our spring chicks, and definitely intend to provide next year’s Thanksgiving turkey!

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Hopefully the kittens won’t forget me while I’m gone. Fred’s under strict orders to give them extra love to make up for my absence!

“Humans is tasty.”

More pictures over at Love & Hisses.

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Pretty Stinkerbelle. You can’t tell from this picture, but she really is a sweet thing.

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Previously
2007: So I’ve signed up for Holidailies, and I’ll be updating every day in December.
2006: Go! Shop! Buy!
2005: “Well, GODDAMN,” I said. “NOT NOW, I won’t! I was GOING to, but now that I know you’d be sitting there all horrified about me reclining my seat in front of your parents, all worried that they’d be thinking ‘Good christ, look at her over there, so fucking LAZY she can’t expend the ENERGY to sit upright!’, I won’t! I wouldn’t DREAM of reclining on my OWN couch in my OWN home, I would HATE to embarrass you!”
2004: No entry.
2003: Fred’s sister nodded. “That’s what I figured.”
2002: I forgot that teenagers are, on the whole (though yours may be different, or at least pulling the wool over your eyes) bone idle.
2001: McAfee rocks.
2000: Recent purchases.
1999: I informed him that there was no way he was getting out of taking me to the emergency room for this.

11-26-08

Get yer calendars!!! 2009 Crooked Acres Calendar. ~~~~~ 2009 And3rson Kitties Calendar. ~~~ 2009 And3rson Foster Kitties Calendar. & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & In my comments, the very suspicious Tyra said: Nobody else is suspicious of that … Continue reading “11-26-08”

Get yer calendars!!!

2009 Crooked Acres Calendar. ~~~~~ 2009 And3rson Kitties Calendar. ~~~ 2009 And3rson Foster Kitties Calendar.

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In my comments, the very suspicious Tyra said:

Nobody else is suspicious of that loaded sentence? “We stood around and Fred talked to the owner for quite a while, and we bought a few things before heading home.”

Whatjall buy? I think it was a potbelly, some ducks and Pyrenees.

We did not buy any potbellied pigs, nor any ducks, NOR any dogs. We bought Taste of the Wild cat food because I’m a lemming who jumps on anything new and shiny that I haven’t seen before. We also bought a “Fresh eggs” sign because Fred thinks his hand-lettered sign is cheesy. That’s about it, I think.

It seems like there might have been something else, though… Oh, right.

We might have bought a black Silkie, though. What? We didn’t want to just have ONE Silkie, and we thought that if we bought a black Silkie, we could name the white one Sookie and the black one Tara. (That’s a True Blood reference, for those not in the know.)

Except the black Silkie isn’t really pure black; she’s more black with some reddish-brown accents. It’s pretty hard to get a good picture of her, because she’s a bit skittish around us. I suspect that when she realizes we’re the source of food, she’ll get over that right quick.

So, yeah. New chicken. Same ol’ same ol’.

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Okay, I need to get cleaning so I can flop down on the couch and watch some TV without feeling guilty or worrying about the cleaning that needs to be done. So here are some pictures from around Crooked Acres to tide you over.

The little chickens are trying to figure out their places in the pecking order. Note here that the speckled chicken is pulling an impressive maneuver we like to call “umbrella neck.”

This rooster likes to follow me around. He lurks and peers at me from behind the corner of the coop and then he acts all super-casual like “Me? Following you? Nope, not me!”

Little rooster, keeping an eye on me.

Lurking and peering. I think he might have a crush on me.

This picture’s from a while ago – I think I took it about six weeks ago.

This picture’s from yesterday. I can’t believe how fast the pigs grew between the two pictures. (Note please that my stalker rooster is RIGHT THERE, as usual.)

Little Pig (only “little” in comparison to Big Pig) checks to see if I might have some food for her.

“HEY! You has food?”

“Food?”

“Food?” (These last three pictures are from about a month ago.)

“FINE, I’ll just eat grass.”

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As we use our eggs, I rinse the egg shells off and keep them in a bowl until the bowl is full. Then I run them through the food processor and give them to the chickens. Eating egg shells ensures that the chickens will lay eggs with nice thick shells instead of the thin-shelled eggs you get from the grocery store.

(Yes, I cleaned the poo off that shell in the left of the food processor.)

I supplement the ground egg shells with oyster shell, because we use a lot of eggs, but we also have a lot of chickens, and the shells we have aren’t enough to keep them in calcium every day. The bag of ground oyster shell is sitting in the wood shed for some reason, and it’s gotten kinda messy in there. The wood doesn’t care, though. It’s not picky.

“IT IS THE LADY AND SHE HAS SOMETHING IN HER HANDS I THINK IT IS FOOD O HAPPY DAY!”

I put the oyster shell/ egg shells in this little feeder, though you can just sprinkle it on the ground.

Charlie (the white chicken to the left, with the twisted-up toes) thought it might be a good idea to try to perch on the side of the feeder. She knocked the feeder over, and the egg shells/ oyster shells went everywhere. Goddamn Charlie. Chickens are not known for their intelligenc. They’re not known for their pickiness either, luckily. They’re just as happy to eat the egg shell off the ground as from a feeder.

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Tommy is so rude. He goes into the kitten room, eats some of their food, digs through their toys, plays with some of their toys if he’s inclined to, and when they come over with the big hopeful eyes, wanting him to play with them, he gives them a dismissive look and ignores them as he ambles out of the room. Brat.

More pics over at L&H.

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Tommy jumped on Joe Bob and bit his neck as soon as I snapped this picture. I don’t know what it is about Joe Bob that brings out Tommy’s aggressive asshole side but I’M NOT LIKING THE BEHAVIOR.

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Previously
2007: Amazing how that works.
2006: No entry.
2005: No entry.
2004: Just call me Grinchypoo.
2003: Survivor.
2002: If you think you can have too many smiley-face stickers, you are sadly mistaken.
2001: The phrase “anthrax in my pants” is FUCKING FUNNY when it’s spoken by a sixty-three year old woman.
2000: No entry.

11-25-08

Get yer calendars!!! 2009 Crooked Acres Calendar. ~~~~~ 2009 And3rson Kitties Calendar. ~~~ 2009 And3rson Foster Kitties Calendar. & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & I left the house yesterday morning at 7:30ish, and didn’t get home ’til after … Continue reading “11-25-08”

Get yer calendars!!!

2009 Crooked Acres Calendar. ~~~~~ 2009 And3rson Kitties Calendar. ~~~ 2009 And3rson Foster Kitties Calendar.

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I left the house yesterday morning at 7:30ish, and didn’t get home ’til after 2:00. Places I went:

1. Wal-Mart to return the loud humidifier. I looked around for more pants, but the ones I bought the other day that are comfortable and I like? They don’t have them in medium, only small and XXXL. Ain’t it always the way?

2. Kohl’s, to return pants and some tops I bought last week. I tend to only stop at Kohl’s on my way to somewhere else, so I never really have time to spend a lot of time looking around. Yesterday, I was there for an hour and a half, and I feel like I definitely got plenty of looking-around (and buying) done. I found some jeans that seem to be comfortable, and some pants that are, basically, denim leggings and very very comfortable, so hopefully those’ll work out for me. We’ll see. I also got a new pair of shoes because the black clog-type shoes I bought early last Fall have gotten pretty banged up. I got… another pair of black clog-type shoes. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, is my motto.

3. Target to return some headphones and to browse. I did finally end up finding a humidifier (in the baby section), but I haven’t hooked it up yet, so I can’t testify as to whether it works well and is quiet. We shall see. I bought some new underwear, a nightgown, and some sweats for Fred. Also, Tim Tams. What? I didn’t want them to get lonely. They needed a good home. IN MAH BELLEH. It was almost 10:30 by the time I left Target.

4. The mall.

a. I went to Victoria’s Secret to stock up on shampoo (still loving the So Sexy shampoo despite the cheesiest name on the face of the earth). They always look SO disapproving when I’m not interested in getting an Angel Card. Why would I get a credit card I’d never use, I ask you? And yes, I know you get coupons. I never used the Victoria’s Secret coupons they sent when I did have an Angel Card (which I never used and subsequently canceled).

b. To JC Penney to look at their curtains (I found some I liked, but the ones I liked were not in stock. The ones I didn’t care for? Those were in stock all over the place. I must have popular taste in curtains or something.). I also couldn’t remember whether it was JC Penny or Sears that carries Land’s End clothing, so I looked all over JC Penney before I decided that it must be Sears that carries it. Duh.

c. To some big-ass shoe store to look at their shoes. I bought a second pair of black clog-type shoes. Because what if the first pair are not comfortable? Also, 75% off!

d. I walked very slowly by Steve & Barry’s, but didn’t go in. Because I don’t need any more t-shirts, and the Bitten line just really doesn’t work for me.

e. Walked very slowly by Yankee Candle, but didn’t go in. I’ve got ten thousand candles, and I need to start burning them before I buy more.

f. Dillard’s, on the off chance that they’d carry curtains. They did not. I bought socks.

g. Belk’s, on the off chance that they’d carry curtains. If they do, I didn’t find them. I bought nothing.

h. Sear’s, to look all over hell and creation before I finally found the teeny section of Land’s End clothing they carried. It took me about two minutes of looking to decide there was nothing there for me. Damnit.

5. Unhappy because I hadn’t found any curtains, I actually texted “Curtains, Huntsville, Alabama” to Google, who texted me back, in essence, “Wtf?” I knew there had to be SOME place to get curtains and I thought and thought and thought some more, and then I was like ::lightbulb:: “Linens ‘n Things!”, except that I can never quite figure out how to get into the Linens ‘n Things parking lot from the mall (it’s very complicated), so I decided to try Bed, Bath and Beyond instead, and wouldn’t you know it? Curtains for the downstairs bathroom, and curtains for the upstairs bathroom, both sets of curtains much less sheer so that tomorrow morning when I’m wandering around in the bathroom taking my shower, I’ll feel not quite so much on display. (I still plan to try making my own curtains once I get the sewing machine up and running, but these curtains will do for now.)

And then I stopped and got a salad for lunch, came home, hauled everything (but the humidifier, which was in a bulky box and my arms can only handle so many bags) inside. It’d been raining all day and was still raining, but when I opened the back door, half the cats went racing out into the back yard and then stayed out there ’til they were soaked, whereupon they came inside and rubbed their wet selves on me.

Bastards.

So that was my day. I rarely do that much shopping in a month, let alone in one day and so I slept like a baby last night!

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When I got home after being gone most of the day yesterday, Delmar let me know that he was most displeased with my absence. When I went upstairs, he followed me around and meowed at me. And meowed at me. And then he meowed some more. When I laid down on the bed, he curled up against me, gave me one last meow, and then allowed me to pet him.

I swear, I think he must have some Maine Coon cat in him – he is going to be a BIG cat, I can tell by the fact that he appears to be about twice the size of his sisters AND he’s got some really big paws. It’s a good thing he’s a sweet little snuggler at heart!

Progress made yesterday: when I walked into my room, Lem and Marion were curled up in a cat bed at the foot of the bed. I talked to them and then laid down on the bed, and they just watched me. Up until now, they’ve run off as soon as I get to the bed, then come back. This time, they decided to just stay and see what happened. And as soon as I laid down, they jumped out of the cat bed and came over for pets and kisses. There’s just nothing like having four warm little kittens flopped against you, purring to beat the band.

More pics over at L&H.

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I never ever thought I’d see the day when Mister Boogers would willingly snuggle with Newt. And it wasn’t that Mister Boogers was asleep in the bed and then Newt came along for a snuggle. No, Newt was sound asleep in that bed, and Mister Boogers climbed into the bed and sat there and looked out the window, and the next thing I knew, they were curled up, both sound asleep. Mister Boogers must be mellowing.

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Previously
2007: I am vowing to be more organized in 2008.
2006: No entry.
2005: All I can guess is that with the holiday season coming on, our defenses are low, and we go a little crazy with the kitten love.
2004: No entry.
2003: I think our kitchen is cursed.
2002: Me, behind the wheel of a minivan? Watch out, Nashville!
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.
1999: So, I got a kitten.

11-24-08

Saturday morning, Fred and I took a ride up to a feed store we discovered a few months ago when we were looking for medication for the chickens, who’d picked up some sort of upper respiratory infection (or something; I don’t recall the details, really). They sell chickens and goats and pot-bellied pigs at this … Continue reading “11-24-08”

It just so happened that one of the pot-bellied pigs had given birth the day before, so we peeked in at the mother and babies, then went out back and fed the ducks and geese and little bitty goats. For a little while, I felt like I was living in one of Lisa‘s pictures.

They had two Great Pyrenees guarding their ducks and chickens and goats, and they both came over to be petted and look us over to make sure we posed no threat to the ducks and chickens and goats. I pointed out to Fred that Great Pyrenees dogs always look very worried, I guess that that’s because they know safeguarding the livestock is a very important job.

We stood around and Fred talked to the owner for quite a while, and we bought a few things before heading home.

When we got home, I made breakfast and then Fred went out to work, and I started cleaning the house. We’re going to have company here for at least a few hours on Thursday, and so I decided that if I scrubbed the house over the weekend, all I’ll need to do Thursday morning before everyone arrives is to vacuum the downstairs and perhaps run a dust cloth around.

That took me the better part of the day, and then I got to spend a few hours digging through the 1700 foster kitten pics I’ve taken over the past year in an attempt to narrow them down to 12 for the calendar. This was QUITE the undertaking, and thank god I had Fred to help me pick out the final 12.

It’s my goal, over this next year, to go through the pictures before I save them to the “2009” folder and only save the calendar-worthy ones to that folder.

(I don’t hold out a lot of hope that that’s going to happen, though, so expect whining about this time next year regarding how damn many pictures I take.)

In any case, I got the pictures for all three calendars chosen and uploaded, and the calendars created, finishing just in time to go watch TV.

Saturday night, Fred watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, while I sat on the couch with my laptop in my lap and surfed the internet. At one point, a resounding CLANG! echoed through the house, originating in the dining room, and I looked down the hallway to see about a thousand cats running, panicked, down the hall before they scattered in all directions.

Turned out, someone had knocked over the fireplace screen in the dining room, and it scared the shit out of every cat in the house.

Sunday, I ran to town, did the recycling, and then went to Wal-Mart. I prefer to get our groceries at Publix in Madison, but since they’ve closed the road I would take that would lead me in a straight shot from Smallville to the Madison Publix, I find it too much of a pain in the ass to get there, so I’ve been going to Wal-Mart or Piggly Wiggly, neither of which even comes close to holding a candle to Publix.

I ended up going to Wal-Mart because I had some stuff to return, and because I wanted to look for a small humidifier. I’ve got a big humidifier coming in the mail, but we’re still going to need a small humidifer to humidify the top floor. I looked all over the damn store for the humidifiers before finding a small display of them over by the Christmas section.

I bought the humidifier, a few groceries, and a warm flannel jacket for Fred, and was home in no time flat.

Turns out the humidifier is too goddamn noisy, which of course I only found out once I’d gotten it set up and running, which meant I had to take it back apart, drain it, and it’ll have to dry for three days on the table before I can box the goddamn thing back up and return it to Wal-Mart.

Google tells me that what I want is an ultrasonic humidifier. Google is such a goddamn know-it-all.

The really good thing about the fact that we’re doing breakfast for Thanksgiving is that the only thing I needed to buy for Thursday was butter and a frozen pumpkin pie. Everything else, we already have on hand.

I spent the rest of Sunday puttering around, balancing the checkbook, doing laundry, canning the jam Fred made. The usual fun stuff.

Today, I’m going to the mall to try on more jeans, stock up on shampoo, and buy some warm socks. Maybe I’ll swing by Target to buy an ultrasonic humidifier while I’m at it. Google’s a know-it-all, but Google’s right an awful lot of the time. Bastard.

Hmm. Did I mention I’m stopping by Target? TIM TAMS, HERE I COME!!!!!

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After I vacuumed the entire house Saturday – including the foster kitten room – I went upstairs to hang out with the kittens and they were nowhere to be found.

There was, however, a small lump hiding under the bedspread on my bed. I patted it gently, and it chirruped at me. I laid down on the bed and talked to it, and it got excited, ran around in circles trying to remember how to get out from under the bedspread, then it stopped moving and made a sad sound. I lifted up the bedspread to see Delmar sitting there, and when he saw me, he got excited and ran over to me and snuggled up to me.

These kittens are so sweet they’re going to be the death of me, I swear.

“Friends, Romans, countrycats, lend me your ears…”

More pics over at L&H.

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Mack Daddy Joe B. shows you how it’s DONE.

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Previously
2007: Questions, answered.
2006: No entry.
2005: I think I need to go eat some deviled eggs to assuage the pain.
2004: And I just glared at him and thought to myself Just because you’re too stupid and scatterbrained to read and watch TV at the same time doesn’t mean I am, jackass.
2003: “Purring? You don’t like the sound of them purring?”
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Just a little more knowledge o’ Robyn y’all can add to your notes.
1999: No entry.

11/21/08

Australians, I have a bone to pick with you. We’re friends, right? I tell you my problems, you tell me yours (in that adorable accent) and then we bond and tell each other that we’ve lost too much weight and those jeans make your ass look fabulous. So then, why. Why. WHY did none of … Continue reading “11/21/08”

So then, why. Why. WHY did none of you share with me the magically tasty Tim Tams? Did you want them all for yourselves?

I can’t say that I blame you if you were saving them all for yourselves, actually.

So I am peeved at you, Australians, and the only way I can see forgiving you this breach of friendship is if you send me a year’s supply of Tim Tams, immediately.

Seriously, though. I saw the packages of Tim Tams at Target yesterday and I was all “Um, okay. I’ve heard of these. I wonder if they’re good.” and I was hungry so I bought a pack of the chocolate creme Tim Tams and brought them home, and after lunch I was looking for something sweet to finish off the lunch experience and I spotted the Tim Tams, and I opened the pack and ate one and the birds sang and the cats purred and my life was complete.

You complete me, Tim Tams.

I think it’s probably a lucky thing that Target is a half hour drive away, so I can’t just run to the store to buy some.

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A small section about Survivor. Don’t read this if you haven’t seen last night’s show!

I have to admit that I haven’t been that into this season of Survivor, but that blind-side last night, where Randy handed over what he was POSITIVE was the immunity idol and then smirked, only to get his ass voted off the island? PERFECTION. I actually did a Roscoe P. Coltrane chortle when the voting was going on.

Does anyone else think that Matty bears a striking resemblance to Leonardo DiCaprio? And when he does that dorky-ass laugh, he strongly resembles Leonardo DiCaprio in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

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Out of curiosity, do you not like the mini-blinds? You can hang the curtains over the blinds, insuring your privacy, but still covering up the mini blinds.

I didn’t really like them in the kitchen because they were hard to clean (although, y’know, it’s not like I tried to clean them all that often) and the ones in the stairwell and bathrooms looked horrible because of the ladybug (or I guess I should say “Asian Lady Beetle”) invasion of a few weeks ago. I like the fact that the curtains in the bathrooms and stairwell let in the light without my having to open them every morning and close them every night.

The saga of the miniblinds in the kitchen goes as follows: I took down the miniblinds and I took down the miniblind hardware, breaking the bracket in the process because I’m a great big klutz. Then I put up the new curtains, and lo and behold, guess what? When you put curtains like that on the windows? You can’t see through them, and apparently I REALLY like to look out the window when I’m doing dishes. DUH. What would be the point of windows in the kitchen otherwise, I ask you? So I thought about pulling the curtains to the side but they looked like crap. Then I thought about putting shades in the windows, but was concerned – because of the molding on the side of the window frame – that they would stick out at the top. Which isn’t a problem, except that there’s a limited amount of space between the window frame and the light. So Fred said, “Hey. If it will SHUT YOU THE FUCK UP, howsabout I stop and get the nice blinds (plantation-style) that we’ve been replacing the miniblinds with, and we put those there instead?”

And I was so frustrated that I just wanted it to all go away, so I agreed and then when Fred started to put up the plantation blinds in the kitchen, he said “Huh. That’s not going to work, they stick out too far at the top, you can’t put your favorite rooster valances back up if we have plantation blinds.” and I threw myself off the nearest cliff and I whined and moaned and threw some cats and then I said “WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?” and he said “These plantation blinds don’t have to go in these windows. Don’t we have some miniblinds in some windows that we haven’t replaced yet?” and I remembered that there were two windows in the front room that still had miniblinds in them, so I told him that, and in pretty short order he’d put the plantation blinds in the front room and the miniblinds in the kitchen windows, and then he told me to calm the fuck down and stop that shit, and so I have.

(For the moment.)

My next project will be to actually get my ass in gear and go around and shorten all the blinds in the house to the correct length so that they look decent. FUN!

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Don’t forget to include your take on last night’s Real Housewives of Atlanta episode.
I can’t wait to see the reunion show next week!

My bullet points on this week’s Real Housewives:

1. Kim and the smoking and her kids begging her to stop, oy. The more I see of Kim, the more I just realllly don’t like her.

2. Did it seem to anyone else that that call from Dallas Austin was him laying the groundwork for disappearing and never answering another call from her again?

3. I like NeNe, but I really think she’s probably best taken in small doses in real life; I bet she gets overwhelming pretty rapidly. Her friend – whose name I cannot remember, is it Dwight? – LOVES to use the word “Dreadful”, doesn’t he? He did it so many times during their conversation it made me laugh.

4. I think DeShawn’s got a good heart, but she really strikes me as not the sharpest knife in the drawer. And the part of the show, after she and her husband were playing basketball, when she was asking him about his future plans and he looked at her like “Why are you acting like you don’t know this?” made me laugh out loud.

5. Sheree strikes me as truly genuine when she’s talking about her clothing line and how much she loves having something of her own, but good god, girlfriend does NOT know what she’s doing, does she?

6. I love Lisa, though I think her insistence on making Sheree and Kim interact with NeNe strikes me as, I don’t know, pushy maybe? Why can’t it be enough that they’re civil to each other, why must they have heartfelt interactions?

This show ended on such an upbeat we’ve-overcome-our-differences note that I am DYING to know what happened between the season finale and the reunion show. I hope it’s not one of those cases where they hype the hell out of it and then it turns out to be NOTHING.

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I think what you would have done if you’d seen the men go to steal your chickens is run to get the camera! That way you’d have photographic evidence against them AND you could blog about it. Duh – Fred is so silly sometimes.

I suspect you’re right!!!

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Um, possibly you have written about this (I think you have and that makes me a Total Skimmer, tm Jane. Or Tessie?) but have you considered getting a cow? How about ducks?

We did talk about getting ducks before we had the pond filled in, but haven’t really talked about it since. We talked about getting a cow, too, but with the chickens taking up the back forty, I don’t know that we’ve got the room. We could probably fit a mini cow back there, though!

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I gots to say something. I went to OTP [Old Time Pottery] on Wednesday afternoon because of your entry (and because I happened to be in the ‘hood.) THEY HAVE POTTERY. Lots of vases near the lamps, especially. So now you can go at your will, because it doesn’t violate Fred’s rule.

They must keep the pottery in the one section of the store I haven’t been through, then!

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Have you thought of getting a Wii? Instead of planting my sorry, lazy ass on the couch after dinner, I’ve been making my daughter play Wii Sports and Wii Fit with me. I even got my husband to do the advanced step aerobics on Wii Fit last night and I must say that the laugh I got out of it made the game worth every penny! There are also some other pretty fun games to play–Mario Galaxy is AWESOME and was a game that the three of us played together. The Xbox 360 is fun too, though.

We’ve talked about it, but I don’t know how much we’d use it. I’m not really one for playing games, haven’t been since I kicked Super Mario Brothers’ ASS back in the early 90s.

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I found this site on another blog this morning and thought, who would like this? Robyn! So, have fun! Some of the games are really hard!

That site is just too cute!

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Have you thought of re-naming Crooked Acres to the Chicken Ranch? Hee! Ask Fred to ‘splain it to you.

Fred doesn’t need to explain what the Chicken Ranch is to me, I already knew!

The idea of changing the name to The Chicken Ranch does amuse me, because if any Smallville residents pounded on the door, all appalled, I could claim ignorance and then ask how they knew the name of a brothel in Nevada.

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In regards to pantry moths…after buying flour or any grain like that I put it in a bag and pop it into the freezer for 24 hours. It’s supposed to kill anything that’s in there. Generally, there’s eggs in most grains so that’s the quickest way to deal with that. If you get them throwing out the items that they’re in doesn’t always do the trick. I cleaned out my cabinets several times. Finally I got so disgusted I took everything out of the cabinets and sprayed them liberally with a bleach spray (clorox cleanup or something like that) and wiped them all down and let me them dry overnight. I haven’t had the little visitors back. Just a couple of suggestions.

Do you find that your flour gets kind of lumpy after you keep it in the freezer? I have to sift my flour before I use it, and I’ve never needed to do that before; and the only difference is that I froze my flour before putting it in the canister.

Would you believe that I no sooner posted my entry last Friday, than I went to the pantry to see if we had quick-cooking oatmeal and found that it was SOLID pantry flies and crawling with the worms? The chickens sure did enjoy it when I tossed it to them.

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FYI-I was nosing about Target tonight & they had teeny Santa hats in with the dog apparel. Maybe that would work for the cats.

We do have pet-size Santa hats – I was looking for tiny ones, like such:

because tiny hats are FUNNY AS SHIT on cats. Unfortunately, that tiny hat (which I cut off an ornament) refused to stay atop the kitty heads long enough for a really good picture, so our Christmas cards this year don’t include tiny Santa hats.

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I keep my chocolate chips in the freezer. I don’t use them very often, and you can just toss them right into whatever while frozen.

I am embarrassed to admit that that NEVER occurred to me. I’ve moved the chocolate chips to the freezer, and I’m sure the pantry moths are crying bitterly right now because the Ghiardelli milk chocolate chips are no longer available to them. Take THAT, pantry moths!

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Meh.

I still have the Tubby t-shirt with that on the back. It’s my favorite Sunday afternoon, movie watching, popcorn eating, sitting on the couch and being lazy shirt.

Though the Tubby t-shirts with “meh” on the back aren’t available anymore (CafePress started charging an additional $3 to have printing on the backs of shirts), you can still get Tubby swag (with the “Meh” on the front) here. (All items are marked up by $1; all proceeds go to the no-kill cat shelter I volunteer for.)

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Jewelry armoire is brilliant!! Anyone who wants one should wait until after Christmas; last year Target clearanced out the $100+ armoires for $25….score….I bought 3 (2 for me and one for my daughter…I keep my small purses, extra wallet, and so on in addition to jewelry, in them).

Keep that in mind, y’all! We’ve had our armoire for almost a week, and I can report that it’s working out even better than I’d hoped. Nothing has accumulated on top of it (except for the occasional cat), and I love that!

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So, I know you and Fred have read a ton of books on farming/canning/raising animals/gardening/etc. We’re making a move (sudden, and completely unexpected) from Columbia, MO to a tiny town in Michigan to live with my brother and his family on a small farm. You and Fred have inspired wifelet and I to raise chickens, garden, etc. So, can you list some books that have helped you out? Or if you’ve put them in entries that are easy to find, I’d even be good with links. We’re overwhelmed, but excited! Thanks for any help!

The absolute hands-down favorite book on this subject (for both Fred and I) is Carla Emory’s Encyclopedia to Country Living. It’s a huge book and covers just about any topic you can think of. It’s a no-nonsense guide to gardening, raising animals, even slaughtering them if it comes down to it. It’s so interesting that if what we’re watching on TV isn’t interesting me, I’ll get the book out and open it to random pages and just read about whatever.

Fred really likes Storey’s Basic Country Skills and Storey’s Guide to Raising Chickens – I haven’t really looked at them, but he swears by them.

We do have more books than that, but honestly I don’t think we’ve even bothered to open any but the Carla Emory and Storey books.

Fred also swears by the Backyard Chickens message board, there are a lot of people who frequent that board, and they’re good about helping out the “newbies.”

(Warning: chickens are absolutely addictive!)

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Robyn in a police car? Yeah, the first thing that came to mind was the accidental indecent exposure that several other people had thought of. But then I saw this video of a cat on a Roomba, and I had visions of one of the And3rson kitties taking a joy ride that got out of control, and… well… you can just imagine.

I dearly wish I could get one of our cats to ride the Roomba around. Instead, they all give the Roomba a wide berth.

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don’t forget to make hashbrown casserole for your thanksgiving brunch!

Fred’s parents will be bringing either hashbrown or grits casserole. I actually haven’t made hashbrown casserole in ages. I’m kind of having a craving for it, now!

My sister recently made the hashbrown casserole and added ham to it so she could have it as a main dish; apparently it was pretty good!

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Do your cats ever try to fool you into feeding them more than the regular times? Our dog has discovered if she acts excited and makes enthusiastic false charges at the door to the garage one of us will assume she hasn’t been fed yet. We call it her Jedi Dog Trick. “You have not yet fed the dog. You will now feed the dog.”

Now that we’ve moved Snackin! Time! back to 5:00 (that’s when it gets dark, and it’s the easiest way to get them in the house so I can shut them in for the night), the cats still think that they should have their snack when we get our evening snacks. They run into the kitchen, mill around and stare at me with their big, hopeful eyes, and ignore my yelling “YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR SNACK!” at them. They haven’t convinced me yet that they should get another snack, but hope springs eternal i the hearts of the Crooked Acres Gang.

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You could just shorten the curtain for the downstairs bathroom.

I can’t, actually – it has a scalloped hem, and I’m not that skilled. Also, the material is that sheer, gauzy stuff, and the idea of trying to hem it when I’m sewing-impaired gives me a virtual migraine.

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Can you catch a field mouse with scoop hands?

You can catch a field mouse with SCOOP HANDS, but you cannot keep the field mouse with SCOOP HANDS. SCOOP HANDS are kind of big and klutzy and not made for close work. SCOOP HANDS are good for herding field mice toward a big, empty container, though.

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Okra is from the Devil himself. I cannot bring myself to eat HAIRY vegetables. UGH.

I do like fried okra – or oven-fried – but other than that, I’m not crazy about it. It’s a good toy for cats, though. I recently found a dried okra pod that Kara’s kittens kicked into my closet, and Delmar played with it for a long time before he lost it somewhere.

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I have a Friday question for you! Yes, its the lady that wondered why you didn’t have a long-haired cat. Now I know the truth, and it’s name is HairBall. Are any of your cats sufferers? Do you treat any of them for it? Do you groom any of the kitties? Thanks 🙂 Now get a long haired cat so I can ask you more questions. (hee)

Every once in a while one of the cats has an issue with hair balls. We give them some Laxatone, and that generally takes care of it pretty quickly.

I’ve mentioned the Furminator before, right? That thing is MAGIC. It removes loose fur like you wouldn’t believe, and it does it fast. I highly recommend you give it a try. I don’t use it on the cats as often as I should, but it does an amazing job on them. I prefer to use it on them outside, because fur tends to get all over the place when you use it.

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Hey! You remember these kittens?

They’re all grown up, and I got to see them yesterday!

See current pictures of them over at Love & Hisses. They’ve grown up to be such pretty little monkeys. And though the pictures won’t show it, I have to say that Dora has got the LONGEST tail I’ve ever seen on a cat. I must have mentioned that about a hundred times when I was visiting, but it was cracking me up.

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The kittens are starting to come downstairs more and more often. When I was watching TV last night, I glanced down the hallway and all four of them were sitting on the bottom step, watching Stinkerbelle watch them. They don’t stay downstairs for long – and it makes them nervous if I get up and move around while they’re downstairs – but this is a big step for them.

Lem’s the biggest explorer of the bunch. He was the first to come all the way downstairs, I see him running around downstairs more often than the others, and I expect he’ll be the first one to come hang out with us while we watch TV in the evening.

This is just the biggest bunch of lovebugs. Delmar, especially, would like me to spend my entire life laying on the bed with him, telling him how pretty he is, and petting him.

I need to get a humidifier. The dry air in the house is making it very staticky, and the kittens don’t appreciate trying to sniff my hand and getting zapped in the nose for their trouble.

“Really? You think you wanna mess with me?”

More pictures over at L&H.

Also, pet store kitty pics over at L&H.

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Tommy hangs out on the back of Fred’s chair, and is clearly thrilled about it.

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Previously
2007: Go, Super Shopper, go!
2006: Right. Because six is perfectly normal, but SEVEN would be lunacy.
2005: Every time I contemplate reading those books, I get a “Good god, I DON’T WANNA!” sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, which to me is a sign that, y’know, I DON’T WANNA and YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.
2004: No entry.
2003: No entry.
2002: Fuck him, too.
2001: It don’t get any better than that, nosir.
2000: I see enough nasty stuff in my life.
1999: No entry.

11-17-08

So, the low-rise size 8 jeans I got at Target last week? Not so much working out for me. I put them on and they were okay, even comfortable. But the instant I did anything at all (in this case, bending over to scoop out the litter box), they rode halfway down my ass. The … Continue reading “11-17-08”

The jeans are going back, and one day this week I’ll go on another shopping mission to find jeans that work for me. The mid-rise Lee jeans I bought at Kohl’s were mostly comfortable, but I spent too much time pulling them up, so they’re going back, too.

Maybe I’m just not meant to wear jeans. But the Land’s End cotton pants I’ve been wearing forever are too big for me (I must yank up my pants 400 times a day), and of course when I went to order them in a smaller size, they no longer carry them.

Ain’t it always the way?

Fred snorted “You should just start wearing overalls!”

Don’t think I’m not tempted!

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Saturday morning dawned cold and rainy and just all-around crappy. While Fred went out to do a few things that couldn’t wait (run chicken wire along the outside of the pig yard fence, because the littlest chickens were going from the chicken yard to the pig yard, and from the pig yard into the woods alongside the pig yard, and we were concerned that they’d get lost or eaten by something, so we needed to put a stop to that), I vacuumed the entire house, starting with the upstairs.

The foster kittens have no great love for the vacuum cleaner, so while three of them went and hid under the recliner in my room, Delmar sat atop the cat tree and glared at me while I was vacuuming their room. It always amazes me just how much cat hair accumulates in there in the course of a week – they throw off so much cat hair, I’m surprised there’s any left on their little bodies.

When I was done vacuuming my room, I stood and looked and considered, and decided to move my bed. I had it sitting at an angle, and that worked out okay except that the bedside table was too far away from the bed, so I couldn’t see what time it was in the middle of the night without getting out of bed and squinting at the clock.

This is what my room looked like before I started moving stuff.

This is what it looks like now:

I think the room looks smaller, and I’m not sure how much I like having it off-center, but I wanted the cats to be able to sit on that table and look out the window if they wanted, and the closet door to the left opens all the way with no problem, AND I’ve slept quite well the past two nights, so it’ll be staying that way for the time being.

When Fred was done outside, he went and took a shower, and then we headed out to find the slaughter house. The pigs will be going to be processed the Sunday after Thanksgiving (they were originally scheduled for mid-December, but they’ve gotten a lot bigger a lot faster than we expected), and the place that will be processing them is not the place where we took the last two (the place where we took the last two don’t process anything but deer until February), so Fred wanted to make sure he knew where it was located.

We found it with no problems at all, and we headed for home, then stopped at a furniture store we happened to pass.

By the side door we’ve had this table:

And while it’s a nice-looking table, it’s kind of rickety (the cats like to jump up on it, of course), and there’s only the one door, and most of the time it’s piled high with shit and I can’t stand looking at it. So it’s been my mission lately to find something to replace that table, something with more storage space and that won’t wobble when the cats jump up on top of it.

So since we spotted this big furniture place, we stopped and looked around, and I wasn’t finding anything I liked that would work, and I was getting grouchy, and Fred spotted something on the second floor and pointed to it and said “Would you consider something like that?”

At first I scoffed, because what he was pointing out was a jewelry armoire, but then we went and looked at it, and pulled out the drawers and discussed it, and the more we looked at it, the more it seemed to me that it’d work out for us. It had plenty of drawer space, wasn’t at all rickety, and the price was right, so we decided to get it.

Fred picked it up and we went downstairs to pay.

The women who were working were just delighted that we’d come inside and found something in less than twenty minutes (possibly less than ten, I wasn’t timing us) and wanted to just pay and take it with us.

The saleswoman who wrote up the sales slip introduced herself to Fred and shook his hand, and I amused myself by thinking of saying “Don’t get too attached” because I doubt we’ll ever be back (nothing against the store – it’s just not in an area we generally visit). They rang up the sale and then gave us a couple of insulated coffee mugs with the store name and web site on the side of them, and then we were out of there.

I didn’t realize it until we were loading it into the car, but the absolute best thing about it is that both sides open up and have hooks where, I assume, you’d hang necklaces if you were using it for its intended purpose. We’re using both sides to organize our keys and all the extra house, shed, and coop keys we have. VERY handy.

It’s nothing fancy, and we’re probably going to hell for buying a cheap piece of furniture to replace an antique table, but it works really well for us and it’s nice and solid and I like the way it looks, so there you go.

We spent the rest of the day inside, mostly. It was ugly and cold outside all day and neither of us had any desire to be outside. We talked about going to the movie store, but ultimately decided we could find something we already had recorded or a movie we owned to watch, so we stopped and picked up sandwiches for lunch and went home.

What Happens in Vegas was on pay per view, so we recorded that and watched it, and as we’d both been told, it was no great award-winning movie, but it was a romantic comedy and we are always entertained by Kelso (he’ll always be Kelso from That 70s Show to us), so it was a pretty good choice. If you’ve got nothing better to watch, it’s not bad.

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We finally got some sun on Sunday, and Fred spent most of the day working outside. I spent most of the day pulling everything out of the hall and guest bedroom closets, wiping the dust off the floors, and rearranging everything that went back in. We’ve had a lot of empty boxes sitting in a corner of the computer room and it was bugging me, so I got all the packing and shipping stuff (boxes, packing peanuts, bubble wrap) arranged in the guest bedroom closet, and it looks a lot better. I’ve got a lot more decluttering to do, but it already looks a LOT better in the computer room and dining room, so it’s definitely a start. Hopefully by the time Thanksgiving gets here, the house will look halfway decent.

I also cleared out several of my desk drawers – my GOD, how much tape do I think I need?! – and the checkbook balanced and spent lots of time with the kittens, and ended the day by having ribs (in the crockpot with BBQ sauce), sweet potato crack, and green beans for dinner. Everything was grown here at Crooked Acres, and I think it’s going to be my goal to have a Crooked Acres-grown meal for dinner every Sunday night. It’s a good way to kick off the work week!

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I went upstairs yesterday afternoon and all four of the kittens came into my room and snoozed with me. And let me say this – I know now why cats sleep like 23 hours a day. It’s because when they’re sleeping, they are NEVER still. They’re always twitching or stretching or switching positions. Three of the four were curled up against me and the fourth (Marion) was curled up behind my knees, and I felt like I was on a ship in the middle of the ocean, the bed was practically rocking with all the moving around they were doing.

I’m not complaining, though – when all four of them start purring, it’s a very sweet sound.

Delmar’s the biggest snuggler of the bunch. He always, always lays down so that his face is as close to mine as possible, and sometimes he’s just so overwhelmed with love that he rubs his face against my nose, and often times I feel his lips on my nose and y’know, you don’t really think about cats having lips, but I assure you, Delmar certainly does.

All the kittens are snugglers – though Claudette has her limits and prefers to be petted a little, then back off and be in the general vicinity without actually touching me. She has got an amazingly loud purr for a little girl.

I took down the baby gates at the bottom of the stairs, but except for a few times when I caught sight of Lem checking out the guest bedroom (across from the bottom of the stairs), no one else has been down. They seem pretty happy having the upstairs to themselves (though Kara will occasionally venture upstairs and put the smack down on anyone who gets to close. She makes me despair, our Kara.) and usually when I go up there, at least a couple of them are hanging out in my room. They always react by rushing out of the room and into the foster room, then if I lay down on the bed and call to them, they’ll come back in. I don’t know why they think they need to run out of the room when they see me – they either feel the need to go to their “safe place” or they think they’re not supposed to be in that room, I’m not sure which. I hope they get over it, though!

More pics over at L&H.

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“I’m ready for church. That preacher better not go on and on about patience this week, though. I’m not in the mood for that shit.”

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Previously
2007: Hey! I was decluttering last year at this time, too!
2006: Here’s Doctor Robyn’s list of diagnoses.
2005: Cat hair on the seat of your pants! It’s the Next Big Thing!
2004: Do you suppose that cats realize that when we kiss them, it’s a sign of affection?
2003: NAS-TAY.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Thanks, y’all, for your emails regarding hamster sex.
1999: So, I didn’t get the kitten.

11-14-08

I left the house yesterday morning at 7 (half an hour later, just in case the chicks that were shipped from the hatchery arrived a day earlier than expected; they didn’t.) and didn’t get home ’til almost 4. After I did my stint at the pet store, I hit the following places (for the following … Continue reading “11-14-08”

After I did my stint at the pet store, I hit the following places (for the following reasons):

Target (for Tide (more on this in the next section), and to try on jeans because the pants I’ve been wearing are too goddamn big for me and I’m sick and tired of constantly hiking up my pants so I don’t flash my ass at the world. I didn’t have any idea what size jeans I wear, and it’s not any clearer after trying on about sixteen pairs of jeans. It seems that I can get my ass into jeans size 8, 10, or 12, depending on the brand).

The gas station (gas was $1.98 a gallon, and I was able to fill up for less than $25, woot!)

Michael’s (for crafty items with which to torture cats).

The pet store (since by then it was open, I could go buy the cat food I needed).

The fabric store, party store, and Hallmark store (looking for a tiny Santa hat; not having any luck).

Sam’s (kitty litter, edamame).

To Fred’s office to pick him up because we were going to go to a furniture store to look for a new table by the side door. We drove to the furniture store (located right around the corner from his office) and found that the store’s no longer there, so I dropped him back off at his office.

To Madison to the post office.

To Old Time Pottery to look for more cat beds (I bought three!) and to see what’s on the left side of the store (bedding, towels, curtains. No pottery!).

To Kohl’s to try on more jeans (in Lee mid-rise boot cut jeans, I wear a 10 petite. I couldn’t even get the Gloria Vanderbilt 10s over my thighs) and a couple of tops.

All this took me right up to 2:00, and I had to hurriedly pay for my purchases because I had to head for Huntsville and my doctor’s appointment. I haven’t had a pap smear or gynecological exam since January of 2005 (yes, BAD, I know) and so I finally scheduled one, and as much as I wasn’t looking forward to it, I knew I had to just suck it up and get it over with. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

The appointment went fine, I got myself scheduled for a mammogram in December, a prescription for the birth control pill (my period is so regular you could set your watch by it, and it’s getting tiresome to have the damn thing every month, so I got a prescription for Seasonale), and headed for home just in time to hit rush hour traffic.

The funny thing is that when I left the house at 7, I figured I’d be done with all the errands I wanted to get done by 10, and would have to figure out something to do ’til my appointment, so I wouldn’t have to drive home and then turn around and drive back to Huntsville. As it was, I had to rush out of Kohl’s to make my appointment.

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I bought a small bottle of Tide at Target because I noticed over the weekend that my cleaning rags and dishtowels aren’t absorbing anything, which makes cleaning (and drying dishes) a pain in the ass. I’m imagining that the homemade laundry detergent I’ve been using is leaving some sort of residue on them, preventing them from absorbing fluids. Hopefully a few washes with Tide will take care of the problem – I plan on continuing to use the homemade detergent on my clothes, though, since it seems to be keeping our clothes perfectly clean.

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This is totally unrelated to anything y’all are talking about but I wonder what you think about this. In First magazine this month Tricia Yearwoood had a section from her new cookbook.

I’m very interested in her method of cooking turkey. She said it makes it very moist and tender. She preheats the oven to 500.She takes a 12 pound or so turkey. She rubs butter and then puts salt and pepper all over the outside and in the cavity. She puts celery, onions and carrots in the cavity. She puts it in a roaster with a tight fitting lid Then she puts in 2 cups of boiling water and covers the roaster tightly. She puts it in the oven and when the oven reaches 500 again she sets a timer for 1 hour. When it goes off she turns off the oven and leaves the door closed until the oven totally cools, about 4-6 hours.

Does anyone cook turkey like this? Will that high heat wreck my fancy-dancy stainless steel roaster? How will it brown if it is covered for the whole process? Thanks for any info or opinions.

I’ve never heard of making turkey like this – anyone out there try it? Let us know what you think of it!

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Since you’re always giving reviews on items, I thought I’d add one for you! I’ve used Sigg bottles for a while, but recently ordered/received a Fly Lady water bottle… and it’s big enough to put big pieces of ice in, has a screw on spout and cap that is smaller than Siggs, and DOES NOT SWEAT. The ice stays for hours and hours. I love it!

Speaking of water bottles Desi, who ROCKS, recently sent me a couple of CamelBak water bottles, and they look a lot like those Fly Lady bottles. My CamelBaks are really cool and easy to use, and I like them a LOT.

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Thought you would enjoy this news story….

I guess we’re pretty lucky that none of our roosters has ever been really aggressive – and I can say that any rooster who tried to show us that he’s the boss of us wouldn’t be around for long! But the idea of random people being terrorized by roosters, well, it kinda makes me giggle.

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Does Newt scoop up the Field mice and bop them on the head?

NOOOOOO, that’s Little Bunny FooFoo’s job! (I must have sung that song three thousand times when the spud was a baby.)

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…what happened with joe bob? did he stop spraying?

He’s mostly stopped spraying – after that one horrible day, we’ve found a couple of small sprays, but nothing like the spraying rampage he went on that one day. I suspect that his behavior was due to Miz Poo smelling like the vet – that’s one thing that can cause spraying, anyway. We’ll be keeping an eye on him, though. I’M WATCHING YOU, JOE BOB!

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How do you keep the cat beds clean? My old cat is so hairy I finally gave up on keeping bedding clean. She likes to sleep on wool so I just get old wool sweaters at Goodwill, put them over a basket, and throw them out when they get too hairy. In 19 years of cat ownership I never could keep beds clean.

All the cat beds get tossed in the washer and dryer every couple of months. That gets rid of most of the excess cat hair. There’s always hair pretty much embedded in the beds, but once they go through the wash, it’s not too bad. Buying old wool sweaters at Goodwill is a really good idea!

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I’m just always amazed at your ENERGY level. You get up early and get hundreds of things done before rush hour even hits. Do you just have a high metabolism, or do you just ignore the tired feeling. I waste so much time on days I’m home. I often think, “If Robyn was in this house, it would be whipped into shape in about 2 hours.” But even shaming myself doesn’t work. I nap, I read, I watch t.v., and do an errand or two. Then I’m exhausted by 9 pm, and it’s on the couch for me. Ridiculous! And, no I’m not sick. Apparently, just way lazier than you.

I have to say that I don’t accomplish half of what I think I should every day. My house is SO not whipped into shape, I don’t vacuum nearly as often as I should, and I desperately need to do some decluttering. Most of what gets me moving my ass, though, is that even when I’m relaxing on the couch watching TV, my brain is telling me what I need to get done, and I get so annoyed by that that I get up and do it.

I get lots of lazy butt-sitting time in every day, though, I promise!

(Also, I’m usually sound asleep by 10. Sometimes earlier!)

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I think Mister Boogers would be happier in a cowboy hat or something more manly. It’s not the hat, per se, but the flamboyancy of said hat!

Ahem. It’s funny that you say that. Did I mention that I went to the craft store yesterday?

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Dang…I was hoping you had used your SCOOP HANDS to catch the chickens and move them to the new chicken coop. I am slightly disappointed. Hmph!

You cannot actually pick up more than one chicken with SCOOP HANDS, which would have made the transfer a lengthy pain-in-the-ass process.

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How the hell do I get rid of the pantry moths. I have been battling them for weeks now. I have taken out every item, looked it over and put it back or tossed it depending on what I found. And yet, THEY return. I am really tired of them flying in my face when I open the door.

I found that Pantry Pest Traps work pretty well – I put a couple in the pantry, and though I do see a moth every once in a while, they’re mostly gone. I got mine at Lowe’s and they’re not too terribly expensive. They last for a couple of month, too.

Speaking of pantry moths, did you know that the little fuckers like chocolate chips? I was SO PISSED, the day I went to make cookies and the chocolate chips were infested with pantry moths.

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I just can’t wait until it’s Stinkerbelle’s turn with the hat 😀

Stinkerbelle seems to know where the hat is at all times and whether it’s headed in her direction, in which case she disappears into thin air. I’m not holding my breath that I’ll be able to get it on her head, damnit.

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I giggled when I read that you you bake cookies for the pigs. And I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have 91 chickens. And it makes me curious if you really struggle with adding to the household cat count. I think having a lot of cats only carries a negative stigma for single old ladies, like me, which is why I have to keep it at 2. (I don’t count the 2 young strays I just started feeding whose mommy got killed in the street last week – and they count as a bonus, because now I get headless mice on my porch!) So, I guess my question is, why don’t you have 30 hundred million cats? And the other question is, what in the hell are you going to do with 91 chickens? giggle! 91. Holy schnikeys!

It’s not really a matter of the stigma of having so many cats – I think we all know that Fred and I are crazy cat people whether we have 5 cats or 10 or 100 – it’s more of a matter of whether the new cats will fit in well with the other cats. Also, the 91 chickens are out in the back forty and the 10 cats are (mostly) in the house and cats react poorly to overcrowding. As independent as cats are, they still need attention (some more than others) and there are only four hands between the two of us for petting.

Now, if our house was bigger, I could see adding more cats to the family, but as it is now I think we’ve pretty much reached our limit (right now god’s laughing and sending a family of adorable kittens to live on my porch, right?). Don’t hold me to it, though!

What we’re going to do with 91 chickens is eat the eggs they give us, sell what we don’t eat, and (theoretically) eat chicken regularly.

Did I mention that since we’ve started eating our own chickens, we eat chicken a lot less often than we used to?

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What’s with people honking to get you to come outside? This happened to me yesterday.

That’s a good question – it never happened to us before we moved to the country!

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Be careful! I think you should put up a new sign, saying, “we bear arms” or somesuch. Maybe they were friends of walkin’ dude….. I know, perhaps try to become dog lovers – well dog likers enough to keep one outside in a dog run so that the dog can bite anyone who tries to steal your chickens or harm you!

I actually think that the reason we don’t get more people stopping by is because we have what looks like a dog house on the front porch (the house Fred built for Maxi and Newt to stay in before they started coming inside all the time), and people assume we have a dog.

Fred IS going through a “Let’s get a dog!” phase (he’s also going through a “Let’s get an X-Box!” phase).

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I would keep a close eye on the chicken yard for a week or so to see if the guys were up to no good.

My desk overlooks the back yard and from here I can see the chicken yard clearly, so if anyone goes out there during the day, I’ll see them. If they come at night, the chickens are locked in the chicken coop (literally – there are locks on both the doors. I look forward to the day we lose the key to the locks.) and if they tried to bust down the door Fred would hear them (his bedroom overlooks the back yard). Hopefully we won’t have a problem with chicken thieves.

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I wonder when they made those little red hats did they think of cats? That’s the first thing I thought of when I saw one.

The hat was actually in the doll section of the craft store, so I think it’s probably intended for dolls – but it certainly works well on cats, doesn’t it?

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Our new baby chicks just arrived, literally less than an hour ago. I got them out of their box, dipped their beaks in water, and they’re all wandering around checking out their new home.

More chicken pics over at Flickr, if you’re interested.

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The kittens are continuing to come out of their room more and more often. I moved the baby gates to the bottom of the stairs, and now when you walk down the hallway, you’re apt to see Claudette or Delmar sitting there. They run back upstairs when they see us, but I think it’s just a matter of time before they’re ready to come into the downstairs and do some exploring.

More pics over at L&H.

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Sugarbutt is clearly thrilled. But doesn’t he look fancy?

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Previously
2007: Amazing what a little maintenance will do, ain’t it?
2006: “I CUT THROUGH THE GODDAMN EXTENSION CORD AND THEN I MADE THE CHAIN COME OFF THE CHAINSAW!”
2005: Senator Stanley J. Boogerton.
2004: No entry.
2003: So I’m not reporting that. At all. Never happened!
2002: Riley’s response? “Nuh uh!”
2001: Dr. Phil looked at me judgmentally, and I began to babble.
2000: And I don’t even like cherry Poptarts!
1999: Fred has agreed to let me adopt the kitten!

11-13-08

Fred opened the door to the chicken coop yesterday before he left for work, but it was still pretty dark out, so the chickens peered at him and said “Um, no thanks. We’re okay in here. Buh-bye!”. Fred went to work and I got up shortly thereafter, did my morning chores, and sat down at … Continue reading “11-13-08”

Fred went to work and I got up shortly thereafter, did my morning chores, and sat down at my computer. I looked out at the chicken yard to see a large number of chickens milling about, so I knew they’d figured out how to come out the door (with chickens, you can never overestimate their stupidity, TRUST ME).

A while later, Fred called to check on the chickens, and as I was talking to him, I looked out the window and realized that there was a chicken wandering through the old chicken yard. I hung up the phone and went out to see what the hell was going on, and I was displeased to realize that the chicken was one of the three fairly youngish chickens we’d been calling the Three Musketeers (because we are so original), a chicken who is very scared of Fred and I, because she was hatched by one of our chickens and thus was never really handled by either of us and thus believes we’re about to harm her in some very painful and inventive way if we even think about glancing in her direction.

Then I realized that there were about fifteen other chickens wandering around in the space between the new chicken yard and the old chicken yard, which meant they’d gotten under the fence somewhere and needed to be herded back into the new chicken yard.

With the help of cracked corn, I was able to lure all of them but the Musketeer back into the new chicken yard, and when I looked around to see how they’d gotten out, I quickly spotted a huge-ass gap under part of the fence, where the fence didn’t even come close to touching the ground. T-posts still need to be pounded in all around the back forty to hold the fence in place, but we (FRED) had been so eager to get the chickens moved that we (FRED) decided to move them to the new coop before the new yard was really secure.

Since the rest of the chickens were occupied with the chicken scratch I’d tossed in the chicken yard, away from the fence, I propped the gate open and ran to get on the other side of the Musketeer to shoo her into the yard.

Oh, yes. What a fool-proof plan THAT was. I ran to get on the other side of her, and she saw me running at her and she ran away from me. Away from the gate. She ran so that she was between the fence on the side of the old chicken yard and the trees and greenery next to the fence. I ran into the chicken yard and tried to get even with her so I could encourage her to move toward the new chicken yard, but never could get near her.

(You should imagine that I was swearing at the top of my lungs, this entire time.)

Finally, I gave up, opened the old chicken coop in case the stupid goddamn Musketeer wanted to go inside to lay an egg or something, and then I stomped inside. Then I stomped back outside to the new chicken yard, where I dragged a post over to the gap in the fence to block other chickens from getting out that way again. Then I stomped back inside and growled to myself that I hoped something would EAT that goddamn Musketeer and that it would be SLOW and PAINFUL for her.

An hour later I looked out to see the Musketeer strolling alongside the fence again, the fence on the side of the old chicken yard. So I grabbed more cracked corn and I went out and tried to lure her near the new chicken yard. She would not be lured. So I grabbed my SCOOP HANDS and went out to try to shoo her toward the new chicken yard. The shooing went okay at first, but then she remembered that she is a goddamn idiot and so she lost her shit for no apparent reason and went squawking hysterically into the woods.

(You cannot make a stupid bird a smart one with SCOOP HANDS.)

And I gave up. I could occasionally see her wandering along beside the fence, but I figured she’d either make her way into the old coop whereupon Fred could grab her at dark and transfer her to the new coop, or she’d figure out how to get back into the chicken yard, or something would eat her and ASK ME IF I CARE.

Goddamn chicken.

(When Fred got home, her day of being without food and water had apparently gotten to her, and it took very little coaxing on his part to get her in the chicken yard. Stupid chicken.)

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In between the bouts of chicken wrangling, I was sitting in front of my computer trying to reason with Mister Boogers, who is having PMS or something these last few days and picking on any other cat who happens to wander across his angry, hetful path. I was just about at the “They’re not bothering you, why are you being such an asshole to them?” part of the discussion when I heard a horn in the driveway.

“Oh! I must have a package!” I said to Mister Boogers, who clearly could not have cared any less about anything I had to say. I put him on the floor, slid my feet into my shoes and went out into the driveway.

It wasn’t the mail lady, it wasn’t the UPS, FedEx, or DHL guy. It was a guy I’d never seen before getting out of a white minivan, and so I met him in the side yard, smiled and said “Hi” and silently cursed myself for not looking out the window before blithely skipping out the door. If I’d known it wasn’t a mail call, I’d have hidden and pretended not to be home, because the Robyn don’t take kindly to strangers, especially of the unexpected sort.

The man pointed out toward the chicken yard and asked if we sold chickens. We’ve only sold chickens once before, and both Fred and I felt so bad about doing so, despite the fact that the family who bought the chickens did so to have them as laying hens and therefore they probably are going to lead a longer life than they would have here at Crooked Acres. Or so we believed at the time, before we got to the point where we only have chicken every other month or so.

“No, we sure don’t,” I said. His friend/ brother/ coworker/ how the fuck do I know their relationship? got out of the van and walked over to us.

The first guy mumbled something that I didn’t quite understand, though I heard “just roosters?” in there somewhere, so I said “Well, we have a couple of roosters, and the rest are hens.”

The second guy said “You have any fresh eggs?”

“No, we sure don’t,” I said. “We sold the last extra dozen yesterday.”

“So, when the sign is out is when you have eggs?” Guy #2 said.

“Right, if the sign is out we have eggs, and if it’s not we don’t.” I wisely didn’t add “DUH!”

There was silence as the two men looked out toward the chicken yard. And it wasn’t anything they did, I didn’t have any flashes of intuition, I’ve read The Gift of Fear and I believe fully in following your intuition, I never truly felt unsafe, but that’s the point when I thought to myself, You’re a goddamn idiot for standing here talking to two strange men. This is how news stories that begin ‘A Smallville woman was brutally raped and murdered in her own home earlier today while ten cats hid under a nearby bed’ happen.

“How many chickens do you have?” Guy #2 asked.

I lied. “About forty,” I said.

Another pause as they looked out toward the chicken yard, and then they smiled and thanked me and left.

When I came inside and called Fred, he made me go over the conversation a couple of times, and then he said “Have you learned anything?” and I said “To look out the window before I go running out the door when someone honks their horn!” and he said “Anything ELSE?” and I said “No, not really”, even though I knew what he wanted me to say was that I’d stick a gun in my pocket before I went out to talk to strange men, but the conundrum there is that if I’d realized they were strangers I never would have gone out there.

(I’ve told Fred we need a doormat that says “The wife don’t take too kindly to strangers.”)

So then he said “What would you have done if you’d seen them headed for the chicken yard to STEAL OUR CHICKENS?”

And I obediently said I’d have grabbed a gun and gone after them, but please. As if. I know me, and I’m as likely to go after a couple of trespassing strangers who are out to steal some chickens from us as I am to get the lead role in The Nutcracker on Broadway.

So, yeah. Strangers came by, I talked to them, they left without incident, and I live to bitch another day.

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The other day I went upstairs to hang out with the kittens, and Kara wanted to come with me, so I let her in. She went into my bedroom to hang out, and I put the baby gate back up.

After getting his fill of love from me, Lem was all “It’s time to EXPLORE!”

So he sat in the hallway looking at Kara for a long time.

Kara said ::hiss!::

Lem said ::HISS!::

Kara said “That’s what I thought you’d say. I’ll just be in here hiding under the bed.”
Lem said “Good to know. I’ll watch here from the doorway.”

I don’t expect Kara to adopt the kittens as her own or anything, but would it be too much to ask her mothering instincts to kick in just a little and have her be NICE to the little ones?

Apparently so.

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Crooked Acres President-Elect Tommy “Big Time Pimpin’ Daddy” Cullen with his bodyguard.

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Previously
2007: Well, of course. Of course he was in the house. Where else would a squirrel be, after all?
2006: In lieu of an entry today, you get a plea.
2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
2003: I’m not holding much love for Tubby at the moment, believe you me.
2002: And also, I have short and stubby legs.
2001: I think that our dog thinks she’s a Mexican jumping bean.
2000: In fact, my new motto is going to be “Bitch, whine, moan. Lather, rinse, repeat.”
1999: I would name her Molly.