Category: Life

to click on, no to happily answer my query, no ten zillion pieces of spam waiting for me each and every morning, no journals and forums to read, no Snood to play… No nothin’. How, if I needed to know the name of that song on Felicity, would I ever have figured it out in 1995? I know I would have, could have, because when I needed to know something I was very resourceful, and I can’t remember a single question that, in the long run, ever went unanswered, but I’m at a loss to know how I would have done it. * * * Another song that breaks my heart every time I hear it is This Woman’s Work, sung by Kate Bush. I can’t hear it without thinking of Jake standing outside the delivery room, tears running down his face. * * * I mean no disrespect to anyone who finds such things helpful, but whenever I read a book and find that there is a helpful “reading group guide” at the end, I find that I roll my eyes so hard I can’t quite see straight for the rest of the day. * * * Big, BIG thanks to reader Lexie, who sent me the Josh Groban cd from my notify list. I’ve been listening to – and enjoying it – all morning long. Thanks, Lexie! Yesterday was a really good mail day for me – aside from the cd I got, I also got Mil Millington‘s Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About, which is only available in the UK right now, so that’s where I ordered it from. In fact, I pre-ordered it months ago, and as soon as I’m done reading A Thousand Acres, I’m going to dive into that. I have to admit, I feel a certain kinship with Margret. What woman doesn’t? Fred and I also got a big box of books (my favorite kind of mail!) from Amazon. We had a little extra money a few weeks ago, and decided to split it on an Amazon order. Fred took random items off my wish list, ordered stuff for himself, and then placed the order. Because we opted for the free shipping option, once the order was placed and filled, Amazon sent the box to a super-secret location so that people could stick it on a shelf and leave it there for six months before actually sending it our way. But I’m not complaining, really I’m not. Because I have, in my hot little hands (well, upstairs on the bookcase, which is practically the same thing) Crime School, by Carol O’Connell, starring my beloved Mallory. So many good books, so little time. * * *

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Poor Kato! I was disappointed, to tell the truth, that David (Bud Bundy) Faustino was the only one to step up and have his head shaved – I would have liked to see Coolio with no hair, though they did shave his face. But we’re talkin’ CELEBRITIES, here, and I’m SURE it was written into the contract that they couldn’t make them shave their heads. Nikki Schieler Ziering wasn’t the brightest bulb in the lamp, but I found myself liking her, anyway. The surprise, really, was Coolio and Lorenzo Lamas. I ended up not caring for Coolio at ALL, due to his attitude (kick his ass, Rosenbaum!). (And it was obvious Coolio didn’t watch the first Boot Camp and see the shit-fit McSweeney had over the mint, or he wouldn’t have tried to smuggle that muffin from the chow hall.) Lorenzo Lamas, on the other hand, had some real leadership potential, which I never would have expected. I think my favorite moment of all was when everyone got a one-minute call home, and Kato MISDIALED the number and got a stranger’s answering machine. Instead of hanging up and re-dialing, he LEFT A ONE-MINUTE MESSAGE ON THE ANSWERING MACHINE. Damn was that funny. Kato’s not terribly bright, but he is infinitely likeable. * * * Only a week and a half, and I’ll be in Gatlinburg, y’all! I’m way too excited about that… * * *

Sooooo Fancy!]]>

In a Sunburned Country, and loving it. It makes me want to pack up and move to Australia right this very minute, and I’m only halfway through the book! Hell, I’ve already been all over realestate.com.au (just for fun, you understand – I’m thinking I could never convince Fred to drop everything and move to the other side of the world, the unadventurous bastard). * * * 1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind? I’m pretty much in a constant state of relaxation and unwound-ness, but I would say that sitting in the chair in the corner of my bedroom ranks pretty high, as does sitting and watching TV with Fred. Any time I can wander around without a bra on, basically. 2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands? Kick off my shoes, and check my email. 3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells? Yankee Candles Buttercream candles. Nothing in the world smells as good to me as those things – I used to love vanilla-scented candles until I found the Buttercream ones, and now nothing else compares. 4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself? By myself or just hanging out with Fred. Fred doesn’t care whether I EVER wear a bra, but I’d feel weird not wearing one around other people. 5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don’t? Maybe cross-stitching? * * * For reader Lena, who specifically requested them, and ALL you Tubby lovers out there: I think this is one of the best pictures I’ve ever taken of Tubby. It looks grainy because I didn’t use a flash and had to use Paint Shop Pro to lighten it, but I still really like it. Tubby, snoozing on the bed. * * * And, of course, pictures of other cats, since I had the camera out: Miz Poo, caught in mid-turnaround. Spanky snoozing, and Spot keeping a wary eye on me. ]]>

Thank god Fred picked out the BIG freezer, huh? * * * Fred recently got a letter from a literary agent. Almost always when the mail comes, Fred’s still at work, and I call him and say “You got mail. Want me to open and read it to you?” And because he can’t stand to wait ’til he gets home, he always lets me. This particular letter was littered with misspellings and missing words. The funny thing, of course, is that this agent’s website has a bit on it about how important proofreading is. I’m so very tempted to correct the letter with a red pen and send it back to her, but I don’t guess that would be the best thing to do to an agent you’re hoping will represent your husband’s book. We have no guarantee that she has any kind of sense of humor, so doing that might just piss her off. But it’s still tempting. * * * Spot finally got fed up with all the rain keeping him in the house, and so he went out the cat door and sat on the outside window ledge, which is mostly protected from rain as long as it comes straight down. Miz Poo did not approve. * * * This would be an example of Spot spazzing when he’s out laying in the yard and we go out back to do something. He runs like hell for the cat door, like he’s not supposed to be out there. It’s ironic that it took Spot so long to start using the cat door, and now he’s outside more than any other cat, including Fancypants. Wait. Is that true irony, or just Alanis irony? It’s been too long since my college English courses… * * * Miz Poo sure does love her Momma…]]>

Firm tape, I feel like my brain is leaking out my ears. * * * So, you know the sound wet sneakers make on a hardwood floor, that annoying, high-pitched squeak? That’s the exact sound that Spot makes when he meows (I think I’ve mentioned the story behind his weird meow before, but here it is in a nutshell: he showed up as a kitten outside Fred’s door several years ago (before Fred and I met), and sat outside the door howling and howling and howling until he ruined his “voice”, and ever since it’s been a weird, squeaky non-meow). He just came in through the cat door, and is sitting behind me making that noise incessantly. Something about having someone see him come through the cat door really bothers him, like he thinks he’s not supposed to be out there. Anytime he’s out there when we wander out to do something in the back yard, he high-tails it for the cat door and skedaddles inside. Our cats. Such freaks. Oh. Actually, I guess he DIDN’T just come through the cat door. It’s raining like hell out there, and he isn’t wet. I guess he’s complaining about the fact that he can’t go out there due to the rain. I mean, he COULD go out there, but you know how it is with cats and the whole getting wet thing. * * * Speaking of cats, if you were a portly Poo and you wanted to lay comfortably somewhere, and you had the run of the entire house, including a cozy loveseat and a pillow in the corner of your Momma’s desk, put there especially for you, where would you choose to curl up and snooze? That’s right. Directly in front of the keyboard so that your Momma couldn’t do that annoying “typing” on the “keyboard” and annoy you. All she could do is maybe reach around you to use the mouse. Because she’s far too nice to dump your portly ass on the floor, where you belong. * * * I was reading Jennifer Weiner’s blog yesterday, and followed a link to an article, wherein I was struck by the picture of Anna Quindlen set to the side. Anna Quindlen has got herself some crazy, twirling eyes. Those are some serial killer eyes, y’all. You don’t want to mess with Anna Quindlen, ’cause with eyes like that, you know she’ll fuck you up without batting an eyelash.]]>

A lemon hat! So cute. I only ordered it last week or so, and told her I was in no hurry, since it was humid as hell (except in hell it’s a dry heat, I think), and hot, but still she whipped it out and no time flat and sent it off to me. I can’t wait ’til it gets cold enough that I need to wear it all the time – I will be so stylin’! * * * If you belong to the notify list run by NotifyList.com, you may want to unsubscribe from that list, and subscribe to this one instead. NotifyList.com has been a pain in my ass (and that’s a big pain!) for the last few weeks. I sent out two notify emails yesterday and neither one of them ever went out, apparently. Bastards. Will I ever find a notify list I like? Hopefully the one I linked to above will work out, but with me, you just never know. (Edited 9/17/07 to add: Notify lists can be joined here.) ]]>

Newfoundland Naturals. I like the stuff from Lush, but I don’t like all the crap the Lush stuff leaves around the edges of the tub, so when Tracey emailed and told me she’d like to send me some bath salts from the best place ever, I accepted. Hey, I’m flexible, I’m willng to experiment. Last night I took a bath and used blueberries and cream bath salts, and I think I’m in love. Not only did it smell great, but it was soothing, made my skin feel softer, AND didn’t leave a ring around the tub. I’m hooked! * * * I finished reading In Her Shoes late Saturday night (actually, Sunday morning – it was after midnight), and almost burst into tears because I didn’t want it to be over. I leafed back through the book, rereading my favorite parts, and I’m thinking that next weekend I may read Good in Bed and In Her Shoes back-to-back. I highly recommend In Her Shoes, if you hadn’t guessed. * * * In honor of the fact that today’s the first official day of Fall, it’s absolutely gorgeous outside – sunny and in the low 70s. I guess Mother Nature heard me bitching about the heat and humidity and decided to make things right! Though it’s a little cooler than I would like… * * * The cats have been acting nuts over the past several days – I’m sure due to the full moon – and Miz Poo has been especially weird. Every time she sits down to eat, she catches sight of her reflection in the side of the tub (it’s not mirrored, but it’s shiny enough so you can see a vague reflection). She eats one bite of food, and then starts doing the thing where she stretches her neck out really long and tries to figure out what she’s looking at. It’s funny to watch, because she’s always so surprised and mesmerized that she stops eating and goes over to the tub and stares into her reflection. She can do it for hours, y’all. That cat just ain’t right. ]]>

Say – hope it’s a happy one! And here‘s a little special something for you. * * * Jennifer Weiner’s publication day haiku absolutely cracked me up. Hee! * * * Speaking of Jennifer Weiner, I went to the mall today specifically to buy her new book (In Her Shoes), which I got for $12, due to my $5-off coupon. Beat that, Amazon! Not only could I not use my Waldenbooks coupon at Amazon, but I would have had to pay for shipping, AND I would have had to wait for it to get here. So not only did I get it cheaper, but I got it NOW, and I can’t wait to dive into it. On my way back out of the mall, I walked through Dillard’s and checked out their perfume. I saw the new Jennifer Lopez perfume (never gonna call her J.Lo, nopenopenope), which I had smelled in a magazine last week and thought I might like. I sprayed some on my wrists and kept on going. Oh GOD, does it smell awful on me. I don’t get it, ’cause it smelled really good in the magazine, but on me? Gag city. Ah well, I have plenty of perfume already. * * * I bought a packet of almond M&Ms today (actually, I bought two – hush up, I’m allowed to have junk food on Fridays), and after I ate lunch, I opened the M&Ms and found this: Where are the yellow and red ones?! Don’t they know how much I love yellow? Bastards! It was like a sign, like the M&Ms were trying to tell me I shouldn’t eat them. But I did. And DAMN were they good. It’s just WRONG that 12 M&Ms are 200 calories. At least almonds are good for you, even if they’re wrapped in a scrumptious candy coating. * * * Thanks so much to everyone who gave me framing/ matting advice on the cross-stitch picture. Of course, your opinions were so diverse that I still don’t know what I’m going to do! I ended up not taking it to the framers today because when I was looking at it in daylight, I realized that there’s a big-ass stain across the top of it – as if I’d spilled half a damn can of Coke on it, blotted it, and thought it would disappear. So I have to deal with that before I take it to be framed. I probably should have mentioned that once I have it framed, I’m not keeping it – I’m auctioning it off on eBay, because the Southwestern theme isn’t really in our decorating scheme (if we had one, that is). I bought the kit because it looked like it would be fun to do – and it was, even though it took more than 6 years to finish! Now I’m thinking that I should just sell it unframed, so whoever ends up with it can frame it to fit in with their decor. Time for another poll! (Poll has been removed) * * * 1. Would you say that you’re good at keeping in touch with people? I go through stages – sometimes I do really well, and sometimes I just kind of let it slide. 2. Which communication method do you usually prefer/use: e-mail, telephone, snail mail, blog comments, or meeting in person? Why? Email, because it lets me control when I communicate – I mean, I can sit down and email when I’m ready to, and get as in-depth as I need to. 3. Do you have an instant messenger program? How many? Why/why not? How often do you use it? I used to have yahoo messenger and AIM installed, but I uninstalled them when I was reformatting my hard drive, and never got back to reinstalling them. I hardly ever used them, anyway. 4. Do most of your close friends live nearby or far away? Far away – I don’t really have any friends in the area. 5. Are you an “out of sight, out of mind” person, or do you believe that “distance makes the heart grow fonder”? It really depends on the person and the situation – when Fred and I were falling in luhrve, the distance probably added a certain romantic attraction to the situation (until we met in person, and the distance only became painful), but there have been people in my life who just kind of drifted away because of the distance. The physical distance between the ex and I – he was in the Navy – surely only contributed to the emotional distance between us, even though I’m pretty sure that the only reason we were able to stay married for so long – 8 years – is because he was gone so often and for so long.]]>

someone else lives, I am reminded anew of how uncool and bland our decor is. It’s Fred’s fault. He says the big smiley-face poster I want to slap up in the living room doesn’t “go.” Like the big-ass TV and the antique side table go together? He’s holding me back, man! He won’t let me express my inner coolness! Repression! I’m tired of living under The Man’s thumb! Oh, wait – no I’m not. In fact, I kinda like it. Rwowr. * * * Damn that UPS man, damn him! I was sitting in front of the computer (what a shock, eh?) yesterday afternoon, and glanced out the window to see the UPS truck sitting in front of our house. I watched and waited, and then the truck left. The UPS guy always rings the doorbell when he leaves a package – they never wait to get a signature – and the doorbell hadn’t rung, so I assumed he’d been delivering a package to one of the neighbors. I went about my self-assigned tasks for the day – vacuuming, cleaning, good little housewife that I am (ha!). After I’d showered and was ready for lunch, I was coming back downstairs when I saw that there was, in fact, a package sitting on the front steps. I got really excited – as excited as I get about mail, I get way more excited when it comes to getting a UPS package – and opened the door. I picked it up, noting that it was really heavy, and carried it inside. Once inside, I put it down and looked at the label. It was from Tarrah Cosmetics, a company I’ve never heard of, and so I looked at the addressee and realized that it had been delivered to the wrong address. We’re at 318 (or let’s just say we are – you think I’m going to give you the right number to our house?), and it was addressed to the people at 308. I’d gotten all excited for nothing. I put the package in the car – it was too heavy to carry 5 houses up the street – and drove to 308. Pulling into the driveway, I noticed that the garage door was open, which I assumed meant that someone was home. I carried the package to their front door and rang the doorbell. After a minute or so, when no one came to the door, I knocked. Still no one. I left the package by their front door and took off for a drive around the neighborhood. I haven’t walked outside in a month or so – I’m doing my cardio on the butt-numbing stationary bike – so I wanted to see if anything of interest had changed since the last time I walked through. Nothing had. On my way back home, I passed 308, and noticed that – in the five minutes since I’d left it there – the package had been taken inside, and the garage door was closed. Obviously whoever lives at 308 belongs to the Bitchypoo “If I don’t know you, I ain’t answerin’ the door” school of thought. * * * The spud was out with her friend for a few hours last night, so Fred and I took the chance to have sex on the kitchen floor. Ha – kidding! The floor was far too dirty to do dirty things on it. Plus, it’s cold. What we actually took the chance to do was watch Frailty. It was far better than I’d expected, given that it stars the man with the smack-me face, Bill Paxton, who also directed. It was creepy and intense, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it again. Two thumbs up! * * * Mere hours until Survivor Thailand starts… whyyyyy is this day going by so damn slowly?! * * * Okay, I need advice – I finally FINALLY finished the cross-stitch picture from hell, and I’m going to take it tomorrow to be framed. The problem is that I can’t decide what type of frame I want to get – I’m going back and forth between a light wood frame or a cherry frame. Also, should I get it matted? So check out the picture of the picture I took – it’s taken from a weird angle, but you get the idea of what it looks like – you can click on the picture for the full-sized version, and then answer the polls below. There’s a commenting feature on the polls, so if you vote “yes” on whether I should have it matted, give me a comment about what color mat (I’m guessing white, but I don’t know). And vote fast, because I’m off to have it framed first thing tomorrow! (Poll has been removed)]]>