12/11/07

and Felicia home, and later this morning I’ll be taking Ellie-Belly to the pet store to put in the same cage with Skittles. “Nooooo, not The Cage!” “How ’bout you rub the belly instead?” Rest assured that I don’t WANNA take Ellie-Belly to the pet store, but off she goes. This is the part of fostering I hate the most. If I woke up in the morning and a foster fairy had whisked her off to the pet store and then she was adopted before I got there next week, that would be perfect. I don’t know what’s going on with Punki and Felicia, but I hope it’s not something they got into when they were here. And I hope the medication gets them better fast. And I hope Skittles and Ellie-Belly get adopted FAST. Stinkerbelle needs to have the rest of her claws capped, because girlfriend likes to climb up the backs of chairs and couches, and it’s not like our furniture is all the nice or expensive, but I’d rather not have the furniture all clawed up, thanks. She cracked us up last night, because Tommy was sitting on top of one of the recliners in the front room, and she climbed up the back and when she got to the top, she snuggled up to Tommy, and he rolled his eyes and jumped down and ran away. Right now, he’s upstairs in the foster kitten room, asleep atop the cat tree. It’s the one place in the house he knows Stinkerbelle won’t follow him. Poor Stinky. All she wants is LURVE from her Tommy. (Don’t feel too bad for her – she and Tommy were snuggled up on the end of Fred’s bed at bedtime last night.) ******************************** Yesterday morning I was sitting in front of the computer, and this whiff of nastiness kept wafting across my field of smell. It smelled at first like something ROTTING, and all I could think was that maybe a cat had killed a mouse or some rodent and buried it under the pile of empty boxes in the corner of the computer room. So I sniffed around there and found nothing. Then I sniffed around the bathroom and it smelled fine. I sniffed around the stack of canning jars in the other corner of the room. Nothing. And then I wondered if I’d actually smelled anything at all, because after all the sniffing it seemed like I couldn’t smell anything at all. So I sat down in front of the computer, and half an hour later I smelled the same smell again, and I looked at Mister Boogers and said “Dude. Is that YOU?” Mister Boogers regarded me and said something in Feline that loosely translates to “Your Momma.” It finally occurred to me to check the trash can I keep by my desk, the trash can where I do my best to never toss any kind of food products, because that’s just asking for trouble. Well. Apparently at some point since last Wednesday I’d tossed something nasty in there (or maybe Fred tossed something nasty in there. For that matter, maybe a CAT tossed something nasty in there.) and it was RANK. I was curious as to what it was, but I wasn’t curious enough to go looking for it, so I bagged up the trash, took it out, and put my trash can outside so that it could air out. And sitting next to the stoop was one Newton J. Newtleton, having caught himself a snack, demonstrating to me that the brain is the tastiest part of a squirrel. Bleh.

 

Fred called me at home around 1:00 yesterday afternoon and said “I’m coming home.” “You’re coming home?” I said. “How come?” “I mouthed off to [his big boss] in a meeting.” “….” “…” “And she sent you HOME?” I was opening my mouth to ask what on earth he’d said – something, I was sure, he thought was funny but pissed her off; he’s good at that sort of stuff, inadvertently (or perhaps not so inadvertent) pissing off people by making a smartass comment – when he told me he was kidding, that everyone got the rest of the day off because of the holiday party or something. So we met for lunch at Ruby Tuesd@y’s. I’ve been craving the salad bar/ turkey sandwich combo for a couple of weeks now. When we met there, guess what? They no longer have the turkey sandwich. OF COURSE. The waitress pointed out that they have a salad bar/ turkey burger combo, and that’s what Fred got, but I don’t do turkey burgers (the idea of ground turkey makes me gag. See that? I just gagged. Just THINKING about it.) so got the chicken BLT and salad bar. It wasn’t bad, but it was no turkey sandwich, damnit.

 

Newt slept like this for over an hour the other night. He is severely cute, that boy.

 

Previously 2006: How these cats aren’t the size of Tubby, I will never know. 2005: No entry. 2004: And if I ever get the urge to go shopping at the mall on a Saturday two weeks before Christmas, I’ll lay down until it goes away. 2003: Thank god I’m not famous. I could handle being followed around by the papparazzi, but live interviews on the TV and radio? Fuck THAT. 2002: My favorite Christmas entry, ever. Chock-full of the Bitchypoo Christmas Spirit. 2001: Of course my world revolves around me and the people I care about. And yours revolves around you. Except when it revolves around me. 2000: I think they should hire me to play his girlfriend – the stripper with a heart of gold – because I just love that man right to pieces 1999: No entry.]]>

12/10/07

Please thank your readers for me, I know I have received a lot of traffic from there, and hopefully generated a lot of support for Jonas. I am down in Edmonton now, and it is a horrible sight indeed. I would never wish this upon anyone in the world to see their child like this. As of tonight Jonas is still on the ventilator and they are keeping him knocked out on morphine, among a myriad of other medications. They might be weaning him tomorrow off of the ventilator but he is retaining a lot of fluid currently and want to get that in control. He looks like the stay puft marshmallow man, with all the fluid he has in him. Hopefully tomorrow he will have de-puffed some more. Recovery is going to be a long road for my little guy, and again I would like to thank anyone who has sent any positive vibes of any sort his way. I’m hoping they will allow him to wake up in the next few days. As always I am updating when I have more info at my personal blog. Thank you again for all your support for my little guy, I truly appreciate it.

 

Reading Stef’s entry from the other day about taking her kids to have their Christmas pictures done reminded me of when the spud was little and we took her to have her Christmas pictures done. At least a couple of times I took her to the portrait studio at JC Penney, and one year in particular I went to order the pictures (those were the days when you had to go back a few days later to see the pictures and order your prints, before all this fancy newfangled “digital” business). I sat down and looked at the pictures, and I looked at the list of what I needed (I absolutely flooded everyone with pictures of the spud when she was little; everyone got a picture of her at Christmas time whether they wanted one or not), and I chose the package that came closest, just the one package, and one pose. And that goddamn saleswoman looked at me like I was the WORST FUCKING PARENT ON EARTH that I only wanted one package and one pose. Like I didn’t love my child, because I wouldn’t spend $200 on 6,000 pictures of her. Like I was probably a step away from selling her on the black market to pay for my next rock of crack. Even now, my blood boils at the thought, and I wish I’d gotten up and walked out and taken the spud elsewhere to have her picture taken. These aren’t from that Christmas, but I think they’re about my favorite Spud Christmas pictures. (flickr) (flickr) Those pictures are from a session my mother took the spud to one day while I was working. The spud was NOT into having her picture taken (she may have had a cold, now that I think about it), and she did a lot of crying – you can’t see it in the scan, but in the first picture, there’s a tear under one of her eyes. In the end, the photographer got her to smile a couple of times by acting goofy, and I think the spud looks pretty adorable.

 

After successfully ignoring the amazing amount of dust that had built up on my furniture for weeks, along with the bathrooms desperately needing to be cleaned, I gave in on Saturday morning and cleaned. I don’t know why it is, but I just LOATHE dusting. If I had to move a lot of stuff to dust it would be one thing, but I actually don’t have a lot of clutter on the surfaces that need to be dusted, so I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s that I dust my dresser (for instance) and come back ten minutes later to find that cat hair has started building up already. It’s a pisser that the things that are the least fun – cleaning, laundry – are a neverending cycle. You’re never completely done with laundry, because even as you’re washing clothes, you’re wearing clothes and getting them dirty. Unless you wash your laundry whilst naked and immediately take up 24-hour nudity, the laundry never ever ends. Even if you DID take up 24-hour nudity, towels and sheets and cleaning rags would need to be laundered. I even vacuumed the entire house, and this morning I note that it needs it again. NEVER ENDS. I also got out the box of Christmas decorations. I’d forgotten, actually, that I got rid of a lot of Christmas decorations last year or the year before. I put out the ones we have (and the cats were freaked out by them, of course), and went through the box of ornaments and took out the ones that belong to the spud, which I’ll be sending her this week. I wrapped a few more presents, and in fact only have one more present to wrap, and I believe I’m done with the wrapping. I mean, I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, but for the most part I’m ready for Christmas! Sunday morning I got up, puttered around the house, and drove to Closeville to walk around the walking path. Being fairly early on a Sunday morning, mine was the only car in the parking lot, and the only other person I saw was in the park (where the greenway begins or, if you walk it like I do, ends) throwing frisbees. I did that in 43 minutes (better than last week’s 53 minutes – but then, I didn’t stop at all yesterday, either), then went over to the grocery store to buy everything on my list so I wouldn’t have to do it after my stint at the pet store later this morning. At home I put the groceries away, made breakfast for Fred and myself (I bet you didn’t know I make breakfast for him on the weekends, did you? SPOILED MAN.), did some laundry, put dishes away, and spent some bonding time with Skittles and Elle. I got an email from the shelter manager Saturday night (it was addressed to all the pet store volunteers) letting us know that Punki had thrown up blood, went to the vet, and the vet said that she was constipated and had possibly eaten something (maybe off one of those feather-on-a-stick toys), so she (the vet) put her (the Punki) on a laxative and antibiotics. After dithering and talking to Fred and dithering a little more, I decided that I’d take Skittles with me this morning, leave her in the cage with Felicia, and then bring Punki home with me. The volunteers are really, really good, but I think it’s a given that someone might forget to give her her medication, and at least this way we’ll know that Punki’s getting her medication and she can recover in a relaxing atmosphere. Robyn, you are saying, isn’t Skittles a skittish little scaredy cat? Why are you taking her to the pet store instead of Elle? And to you I say, because I really like Elle (NO we’re not adopting her!) and I have started calling her Ellie Belly and I want to have her around for a little while longer, so shaddup. I feel bad for Skittles, because she is a skittish little scaredy cat and very nervous, and I hate taking her to the pet store and leaving her there, because I know her number one move will be to hide in the litter box and look pathetic. But she’s very pretty – I love her swirly pattern – and I will make clear in her description that she’s a skittish little monkey and hopefully someone will fall in love with her and take her home. Fingers crossed! Ellie-Belly, sleeping in Fred’s desk chair. ***************************** Miss Momma (Maxi) spends almost every evening on this couch. I love the way she’s laying with her feet pressed against the back of the couch.

 

Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: No entry. 2004: I want to marry you, Consumer Reports. 2003: The Bean’s nickname for today is “Stanley Rotten.” 2002: Xmas meme. 2001: And then Miz Poo SMACKS him again. 2000: No entry. 1999: I’m just saying.]]>

12/09/07

Stinkerbelle Seethes. “I… what… Did she really just climb into the cat bed with me? Is she KIDDING ME? I HATE her!” “Is she… IS SHE TOUCHING ME?” “I’m not touching you.” ::seething with hatred:: “Stillllllll not touching you!” “Okay, I’m just going to turn around so that I don’t have to look at her stupid, pushy, wanting-to-touch-me face.” ::touch!:: ::seething:: “Did you just TOUCH me?” “Who, me?” “That’s not an answer. Did you TOUCH me?” “Do you think I touched you?” “DID. YOU. TOUCH. ME?” “Why do you ask?” ::seething:: “Please god, help me not to kill her. I know what they do to pretty blue-eyed silky-furred girls like me in kitty jail. People would be touching me all the live long day and I’d lose my mind.” (Punki) ::mock seething:: “Not touching you!”

 

Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: It’s the little things that amuse us, obviously. 2004: Mister Boogers does his Donald Trump impression 2003: FUCKING spam. 2002: Are you an innie or an outie? 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry. 1999: God, the smell.]]>

12/8/07

December Bitchypoo logo! This one was created by wonderful reader Aly, who has done lots of logos for me in the past! Thanks, Aly!!!

 

Anyone in the Kansas area in the market for a cat? Go read.

 

Miss Stinky Stakes Her Claim. Stinkerbelle: “Listen UP, hussies. I unnerstand you’ve been trying to SNUGGLE with MY boyfriend, and THAT ain’t gonna happen!” Tommy: “ZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. (Uh oh, how’d she hear that I’ve been snuggling with the hussies? Oh, right. That’s all over the internet. But I didn’t think she knew how to Google! She said using the mouse was too awkward without opposable thumbs!)” Stinkerbelle: “He is MY boyfriend – MINE – and you can’t come slinking in here, sashaying across the bed, and demanding a snuggle.” Tommy: “ZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. (But I can’t help it. I’m only so strong when faced with strange kittens who are demanding snuggles!)” Stinkerbelle: “I’m talking to YOU, goofball. Just because he’s black and you’re mostly black doesn’t mean he’s YOURS. He’s MINE, and I don’t care if you’re long and slinky and I’m short and edging toward portly. I’ve put my stamp on him and he is MINE.” Tommy: “ZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. (She’s goofy, but she’s a good snuggler. I cannot keep my paws to myself.)” Stinkerbelle: “MINE, get me? MINE.” Felicia: “Yeah, yeah, he’s yours. Can we go back to sleep now?” Tommy: “ZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. (I had no idea Stinky was so possessive. I kinda like it.)” Stinkerbelle: “MINE. I am going to snuggle with MY boyfriend, unnerstand?” Mister Boogers: “Could someone shut her up?” Felicia: “Srsly.” Punki: “Ya rly.” Tommy: “ZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. (I think they get the idea. Good lord she can go on and on.)” Stinkerbelle: “I have put my stamp of love upon him, and now I shall lay here and seethe with hatred for those hussies who think they can have him. THEY CANNOT.” Tommy: “ZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. (I can’t help it if all the wimmins want me. I’m RATHER gorgeous.)” Stinkerbelle: “Yeah, okay, maybe sometimes I like to snuggle with Mister Boogers. Even sometimes I lick him on atop his head. But he is a magnificent bastard and that cannot be helped. In any case, Tommy is mine. MINE.” Tommy: “ZzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. (Uh oh. Does she know that I snuggle with Mister Boogers, too? Would that make her more jealous, or less?)” Stinkerbelle: “MINE.” Stinkerbelle: “MINE. Mine. Mi..zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

 

Previously 2006: Newton (full name: Newton “Newtie” McNewterton, the salty country kitty) is pretty, yet aloof. It drives the wimmins CRAYZEE. 2005: “Us”? Who’s this “us” kemosabe? 2004: I suppose I need to actually start buying lottery tickets to make these dreams come true. 2003: And also because you Canadians are so cool that I want to canoodle with each and every one of you. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: God bless the internet and online merchants, god bless their little black hearts. 1999: More Christmas talk.]]>

12/7/07

I have a question for your extravaganza. Could you take pictures of how much food you eat in a typical meal? I just got approved for RnY and I’m curious. (Sorry about the crappy pictures) Lunch: 3 oz (before cooking) patty made of lean ground beef with 2% cheddar slice on top, some bread and butter pickles (that I made myself in July), and a salad with strawberry vinaigrette dressing. (pic) Dinner: Jambalaya (I didn’t measure it, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was 3/4 – 1 cup) (jambalaya was made with half the rice the recipe calls for, by the way) and a serving of collard/ mustard/ turnip greens from the garden. (I ate about half the greens. I need to de-stem them in the future, I think.) I didn’t take a picture of my breakfast, but imagine a picture here of a whole wheat english muffin with a poached egg and slice of cheese atop it.

 

You can freeze eggs? How … in vitro of you!! You absolutely can! If you can freeze human eggs, you can surely freeze chickens eggs, I say. (Also, I read online or in a magazine that you can do that.) I tried breaking each egg into a cup of a muffin pan, freezing them like that, and then popping them out and bagging them individually, but the eggs were sticking (even though it’s a nonstick pan), so I ended up buying silicone muffin liners, and the eggs pop right out, I bag them seperately, and then freeze them – but next time I do it, since the eggs are frozen, there’s no reason I shouldn’t just pop them all in a bag once they’re frozen, and just take out what I need.

 

Another question for you…Do any of your cats play fetch? I got Raven to keep Jet company, or rather so he could rough house with someone other than us. I had no clue she thought she was a dog however. She brings me her toy fleece mouse, drops it in front of me and expects me to toss it for her so she can go chase it and brings it back to me. You gotta be quick to get it or she will try to snag it back. (thinking of getting the bird gloves, lol) She will do this for hours. She doesn’t get tricked into you threw it when you didn’t. The only way you can stop playing is to hide the mouse where she can’t find it. Normally she will bring you another one though. lol It is kinda fun but after a few hours, the arm gets sore. None of our cats currently play fetch, but when we first got Mister Boogers, he would fetch as long as you kept throwing toys for him. He got old and grumpy, though, and won’t do it anymore. That is, he’ll chase toys you throw for him, but he won’t bring them back. Occasionally we’ll have a foster kitten who’ll fetch, Brolo being our most recent fetching foster.

 

If you put lights in the chicken coop would that make them think that the day is longer and produce more eggs or is it just the cooler weather? Yeah, lights in the chicken coop will encourage more laying. We had talked about doing that, but apparently (according to Farmer Fred, who researches everything to death) chickens will only lay so many in a lifetime, and once chickens stop laying, they’ll become dinner, so lights in the coop will result in a shorter life for them, as he sees it. And let me just say here that I have NO idea which chickens are laying and which aren’t. The only eggs I can match up to the chicken who lays them are the blue ones Frick and Flappy lay. Frick’s are a purer blue, and Flappy’s are bluish green. Other than that, it could be one chicken laying all of them, or we could actually have some that don’t ever lay, and I wouldn’t have a clue. I don’t know how it is that Fred thinks we’d ever identify the non-layers. Which is another way of saying that I have a strong feeling that our egg chickens will die of old age rather than at the hands of my husband.

 

Is he stubby tailed? Looks like it in the second picture. I like O’Grady. Sounds like you are over the whole “they aren’t our cats” thing. Since, y’know, you are naming them at first sight now. Yeah, he’s a stumpy-tailed guy, like Mister Boogers. I’ve decided to just give up and call any animal who wanders across our property ours. When I end up on the news as one of those cases where the local animal cops show up and take three hundred cats out of a shit-filled house, you’ll all be able to say “She never wrote about all the shit in her journal!” (Except you know I totally will. I’ll be like “Okay, so we have 84 cats. I can handle 84 cats. Except for the piles of shit everywhere. At least it’s not 100, ha ha!”)

 

“We should do Stinky,” Fred said. I totally came back and had to quote this because it has been in my head ALL DAY. I read this comment to Fred, and we both snickered for the longest time. I never would have noticed it if you hadn’t said anything!

 

With the Soft Paws, don’t you have to worry about their claws getting too long? 4 of mine have claws, and my couch and loveseat are getting shredded. No new furniture until I get something to fix that. No, you put the caps on their claws, and when they shed each claw, the cap comes off with it and you have to re-cap that claw. At first it seems like you’re recapping all the time, but as time goes by, the caps seem to stay on longer. That, or you get the hang of it more, I’m not sure which. We don’t cap their back feet, so we still get plenty of scratches on the floor and the tables and furniture, but I’ve heard of people who cap the back claws, too. Our main concern was making it so that Sugarbutt wouldn’t poke holes in me when he came for middle-of-the-night lovin’, and that they wouldn’t shred the backs of our computer chairs any worse than they have already.

 

Robyn–How did you know what size Soft Paws to order? I’d like to try them, my cats are 17 and 14 lbs. and not sure which size(s) to get. Any advice? I went by the sizing chart, and got medium. I think it’s better to go smaller rather than bigger if there’s a question on what size they’ll wear. I’d suggest you try the medium, and if the caps don’t completely cover the claws, you can go bigger next time you need them, but still use up the mediums. If you go too large, I’m afraid the caps won’t stick as well. Anyone out there have any additional advice on SoftPaws sizing?

 

Another reason Robyn is better than me. Holding down cats and putting things on their claws would not be something I would do. I don’t believe in de-clawing so I applaud your efforts. If I didn’t have Fred to help me with the capping, I don’t know how on earth I’d get it done. Seriously, I’d probably be writing entries about how much I hate my goddamn cats because they won’t just lay there and let me glue colored caps to their claws.

 

If you really want to know how long your walk was, you can use a site like MapMyRun. It lets you zero in on either a map or a satellite image, trace the route you went, and it tells you info about it (elevation changes, distance, etc.). I’ve used it a lot and love it! That is EXACTLY the site I’ve been looking for! I read about it somewhere (maybe SELF Magazine?), and then lost the link, and my Google searches on Sunday weren’t bringing me anything helpful at all. I don’t need it this time, since I discovered the marker that tells me the track is 1.5 miles, but I’m bookmarking it for future use!

 

I found a great website …linked from another website that I dont remember. Being a foster mom to the kitties and all I thought you might enjoy it. A woman lives in the mountains of Wyoming in a one room cabin and is raising a baby coyote. Its parents were killed for killing sheep. She chronicles the daily life of Charlie the coyote with fabulous pictures …and there is a fabulous orange cat named Eli involved. They sleep together! That alone is worth the trip over to see. I don’t believe there’s anything cuter on earth than a baby animal. LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FACE!

 

Now, I do have one other question about this remarkable grooming tool … when do you stop? Seriously, there just seems to be more and more and more fluff coming off their backs, a seemingly endless supply, and I am worried I am denuding them to the point that they will freeze when they go outside. I usually stop when Spot looks at me like “Lady, if you don’t stop the brushin’, I’m going to bite your face off.” I’m pretty sure the Furminator will only remove the loose stuff, so as long as it’s coming up and the cats are letting you do it and you’re not bored, keep on keepin’ on.

 

Robyn, not to be a contrarian – there are lots of Mennonites up around Ethridge & Lawrenceburg, TN to be sure. BUT – there is also a small Old Order Amish community, and that’s what draws me up there again and again. I find the commitment to that kind of lifestyle fascinating! Old Order Amish presence is why you see the buggies & other things particular to the Old Order Amish lifestyle (Mennonites can drive cars, use electricity, etc.). There’s some info about the history of the Lawrenceburg Old Order Amish community here. I honestly did not know that! Fred uses “Amish” and “Mennonites” interchangeably, so I thought… I don’t know what I thought. That they were the same thing, I guess. (Also, I lost the link you left, so put up a Wikipedia link in its place!)

 

My cat is an asshole who bites. Though he bites when he’s hungry, which is most of the time, since he is a fatty on a restricted diet (he’s gone from over 14 to 11.5 pounds, though!). Playing with him more has helped quite a bit- gives him an outlet for his aggression. Maybe you can get your folks a laser pointer, feather-thingey-on-a-stick, or my kitty’s favorite, a hard candy tied to a really long piece of dental floss. I can toss the candy as far as the floss will allow it to go, and then reel it back in, over and over. He loves it. I am giggling my ass off at the idea of TEASING the poor fat kitty with a piece of candy tied to the end of a length of dental floss. I should totally try that with Tommy.

 

As I was silently swearing at having to lug the cat litter to my 3rd floor apt, I thought, at least I don’t have to buy as much litter as Robyn does. How much kitty litter do you go thru in a week/month? I don’t actually keep track of it, but I would guess that I probably go through 3 – 4 25 pounds boxes of litter every two weeks. I empty, scrub, and refill all the litter boxes every other week, and then add litter as the box gets low during the intervening two weeks. Good christ. That’s approximately 100 pounds of litter every two weeks.

 

About the Real Housewives – How about Jeana and the interior decorator (I forget his name). I forget who was talking but they said Jeana and this guy are together constantly. He was at the lake with her and that is the first time I’ve seen them together! How about Vicki changing her mind on the smaller house. And, $250,000 for a swimming pool?!?! I cannot stop watching this show! Those ladies are so over the top with everything they do. The total opposite of me. I cannot wait for Lauri’s wedding!!! See the next section regarding the interior decorator. I was so horrified at the idea of spending $250,000 on a POOL (though I think the majority of the cost must have been all the extras Vicki wanted along WITH the pool) that I had to call Fred and bitch about it. That’s some bullshit, right there. Lauri’s wedding is going to be horrifically over the top, I can feel it. And speaking of Lauri, how about her saying last week that her 9 year-old daughter is the only one of her children who hadn’t disappointed her? I wanted to call her up and say “GIVE IT TIME, MOMMY DEAREST!” God.

 

In regards to the RHofOC…I can’t stop watching that show and I hate Vicki so much. She is such a control freak and admits to paying for stuff for her kids just so she can yank it from them if they aren’t complying. Also, did you hear Laurie say that her son moved in with her new fiance’s ex wife? WOW! I think they also said that Jeana’s male decorator friend is gay so there’s no hanky panky going on there. Does anyone know what happened to Jo? There’s more on the whole Lauri – Josh thing here. One thing you’ve got to say about that kid, he sure knows how to hit her where it hurts! Jo is in LA pursuing her career, I believe. She’s got a MySpace you can check out, and apparently her album is set to drop sometime in 2008. I saw or read somewhere that Slade’s claiming that he and Jo are being pursued for a reality show of their own – who knows? Speaking of the show – it looks like Tammy and her family are pulling out of the series. At the end of the last show, it certainly sounded like Tammy was giving her reason for leaving the show, and next week they’re introducing a new Housewife. Should be interesting.

 

Hi Robyn I just finished reading “Kite Runner” yesterday and I thought it was one of the best books I have ever read. I noticed you only gave it 3 happy faces. I would have given it 5 happy faces!! I was just wondering what about it you didn’t like? I… don’t know? This is why I don’t do book reviews! All I can tell you is that when I was done reading it, I said to myself “Did I like this book?”, and the answer was “Yes.” And then I asked myself “Would I say that someone should drop everything and run right out and buy it (five smileys)? Or would I recommend that someone go out and buy it, it’s so good (four smileys)? Or would I recommend that it’s certainly worth reading, but they should borrow it from a friend or a library (three smileys)?” And the answer was “It’s worth a read, but I’d recommend they borrow it to read it, and not spend their money.” I’m far more careful with everyone else’s (theoretical) money than I am my own, so… there you go. How’s that for a non-answer!

 

I’ve probably commented on it before, but I have a bitchy, twitchy, unfriendly orange tabby cat. He only likes to be scratched on the head, but don’t dare touch him anywhere else. If you don’t get bit or scratched, he runs off, meowing bitchily. His tail is constantly twitching. He will sit in my lap once in a blue moon, and it usually makes me suspicious. He’s very entertaining, though, in a crazy way. I think he’s broken. I’m pretty sure you’ve mentioned his cranky orange ass before, Christy, and I think I decided that he must be the exception that proves the rule! 🙂 (I’m imagining him deciding he wants to spend some quality lap time, and you sitting there, afraid to move lest he attack. Heh!)

 

I was going to sign up for a card from you this year (still have the one from last year) but felt so sorry for you writing, writing, writing and wanted to ask in the Q&A extravaganza whether you get writer’s cramp. After reading these comments I think I want a 2007 And3rson Card. Maybe you could do ecards as well? Like you have nothing else to do with your days!!! Nope, I’ve never had a problem with writer’s cramp. I use a good pen, and take plenty of writing breaks, but in the end, I don’t do that much writing, either – just a quick note in the card and our names. (I also don’t sign it from the cats, because that WOULD give me writer’s cramp!) I don’t do ecards, though – if you want a holiday card from Crooked Acres, you’ve gotta sign up for a real one! 🙂

 

I was looking back through old anniversary issues looking for a wedding pic. While I did not find a wedding pic *hint hint* I did notice that the Boogs had his infamous Stare at a young age. The pics of him in the 2003 anniversary entry are classic. It is even funnier seeing that Stare on the wee kitteh. You should know that the only reason it’s taken me so long to get these pictures posted is because I was too damn lazy to get the pictures out and scan them, and it wasn’t until yesterday that it occurred to me to check and see if, at some point in the past, I’d scanned them. The answer is yes, I certainly did. DUH. Note: Although it looks like it, Fred does NOT have a mullet in this picture. The lady who married us is standing on the other side of us, and her hair is kind of blending into Fred’s in the picture. (pic) (pic) (pic) For comparison, then and now: My nose got bigger and my face got wrinklier, but at least Fred shed the biggest goddamn glasses in existence.

 

 

Previously 2006: “I LOOK LIKE SID VICIOUS!” I said. 2005: I love my husband, but “Mrs. Fred And3rson” IS NOT MY FUCKING NAME. 2004: (I never claimed not to be a dumbass) 2003: I would be ever so grateful if you would restrain yourself. 2002: No entry. 2001: I knew y’all were a hip and happenin’ bunch of readers! 2000: Stuff I’ve bought. 1999: And it tasted excellent, of course, which made the eggfart stenchiness more than worth it.]]>

12-6-07

 

I am amazingly organized (organized for me, that is) regarding holiday preparations. I’m up to date on holiday cards – if you’ve sent me your name and address as of 5 pm my time yesterday (or you’re related to me), your card is on the way. I did the first big (200+) mailing on Monday. Tuesday, after I dropped the kittens off at the pet store, I stopped at one of those mailing places, and sent out Christmas boxes to my sister, brother, parents, and the spud. There will still be boxes to send out, but just a few, and they can go out next week or the week after. The gifts in the house have been wrapped and are set on a shelf waiting for Christmas. I haven’t done any decorating of the house yet (aside from the wreath on the front door), but I might do that later today, or maybe tomorrow. I asked the spud if she wanted me to go through the box of ornaments and pull out the ones that were given to her over the years, so she can hang them on the tree that she and her father and stepmother put up, and she said yes, so I’ll do that in the next day or so, too. If we were putting up a tree this year I’d hang them on our tree just so a little part of her would be here with us, but I’ll be honest – I don’t see a time in our cat-filled future where we’ll be putting up a Christmas tree again. Maybe one day, but I doubt it. I like Christmas lights, and I like Christmas trees, but I just don’t want to deal with the cats knocking over the tree and batting the ornaments through the house. I’m a Grinch, and not only a Grinch, but a LAZY Grinch who doesn’t want to have to pick shit up all the time. I freely admit it!

 

I went up into the foster room yesterday afternoon to give Skittles and Elle some love (Skittles is past her “OMG! Devil Woman! Must hide!” phase, and firmly into her “I love you! You’re so pretty! Will you pet me? And pet me here? And scratch my ears? And call me ‘Girly?’ And pet me some? Some more? And a little more? ‘K, thx, gottagoeatbye!” phase) and I glanced out the window and saw something hanging from the mailbox. I’d been out on the front porch not an hour before, bringing in a box from UPS (or FedEx or DHL, I don’t remember) and there wasn’t anything there at that point. I stood and squinted out the window for a few minutes, then decided to go see what the hell it was. Turns out, it was a couple of empty egg cartons. A woman who lives in the area had told Fred she’d drop off empty egg cartons for us to use. They weren’t the egg cartons we’d given her, but an egg carton is an egg carton, right?

 

In recent weeks, we’ve noticed a little orange and white cat occasionally moving across our property, usually at the very back of the back forty. The first time I noticed him, I called Fred – who was out working on the shed – and Fred went out and called to the cat, who responded by running away. Yesterday afternoon I glanced out into the back yard to check on Tommy (with the foster kittens running around all day, I keep the back door closed and will let our cats out if they make it clear (usually by running wildly toward the back door when I’m anywhere in the vicinity) they want out, but then they have to stay out there until the next time I’m near the back door and check to see if they want in), and saw something under the pecan tree, watching Tommy. I thought at first that it was a rabbit, but it was too big, and a closer look showed me that it was the orange and white cat. I went out with the camera and talked to him, but when I got to within about 30 feet of him, he ran off. I think he looks like an O’Grady. I might as well go ahead and buy another six beds so there’s room for him IN THE FRICKIN’ HOUSE. ***************************** Suggie’s favorite bird-watchin’ spot.

 

Previously 2006: I need a vacation, is what I need. 2005: When and if – and I mostly mean “when” – these two break up, I hope there’s a lot of interesting drama. 2004: It’s now my goal to make him CRY when he tries the next batch of chick peas. 2003: “What the FUCK? That is my BUTT you’re sniffing. And it TICKLES.” 2002: $4.49 for a freakin’ book? What the hell are they wrapping it with, gold? 2001: Is that a sex thing? 2000: Damn, isn’t Christmas here yet? 1999: Someone shoot me and put me out of my fucking misery, won’t you?]]>

12-5-07

***************************** Yesterday, Felicia and Punki went back to the pet store. They’d had two and a half weeks of rest and relaxation (and racing like wild things through the house), so it was time for them to go back and be available for adoption. Skittles, who was laying in the middle of the room when I picked up Punki and Felicia and popped them into the carrier and left with them, has decided that I am The Devil and not to be trusted. She won’t even stay in the same room with me. I walk into the foster room, she runs down the hall and hides under the guest bed. I go into the guest bedroom to sweet-talk her, and she races down the hall and hides under the dresser in the foster room. This, after she had gotten up the nerve to come downstairs Monday night and do some exploring. She discovered one of the baskets of cat toys, and made herself at home. Now, she wants nothin’ to do with me. I wonder, once Elle goes to the pet store and Skittles is the only foster kitten around, if she’ll turn friendlier? Only time will tell. Punki was NOT pleased to be back at the pet store, and she wasn’t shy about letting me know. I’m covering for the Thursday morning person, and I’m hoping that one or both of them will have been adopted by then. I sure hope so – they’re such good kitties that anyone would fall in love with them. Felicia checks out the view. ***************************** I assure you that if Stinkerbelle saw those hussies all snuggled up with HER MAN, she would NOT be pleased!

 

Previously 2006: Le sigh. 2005: no, I didn’t take anything for the pain. Then I couldn’t bitch about the pain. DUH! 2004: Yep, fuck that. 2003: The child is evil. EVIL, I say. 2002: (Close your email clients, you damn Crimson-heads. I know you lurrrve your football team and all, but really. Breaking news?) 2001: Woman of the Year. 2000: What can I say? I’m just the kinda gal who likes profanity in her daily email… 1999: “Let’s kill the Mommy bitch and eat all the canned cat food in the house, then lay around and lick the litter out from between our toes.”]]>

12-4-07

TOO. MANY. CATS.

 

Previously 2006: They are NOT OUR CATS. They have owners, damnit, and they’re not us! 2005: No entry. 2004: It is FUCKING cold downstairs in our house. 2003: And then I got the Best Picture EVER Taken. 2002: Fluff? Perhaps. But very entertaining fluff. 2001: “Who’s Robyn?” said the realtor. 2000: “You little bastard!” I yelled, and then ran at him 1999: Through three moves and a name change, they’ve managed to keep up with me, sending address labels all the way.]]>

12-3-07

 

The foster kitties, as you can see, have completely made themselves at home. I’ve let the shelter manager know that I think they’re ready to go back to the pet store (I think adoptions will really be picking up in the weeks between now and Christmas), but one or two at a time, rather than all four of them in a (big) cage. Punki, Elle, and Felicia are all friendly enough that I don’t worry about them, but I worry about Skittles. She’s such a scaredy cat that she still hasn’t really spent any time downstairs, preferring to hang around in her safe room. If she hears someone coming up the stairs, she runs and hides under the dresser. At least she comes out almost immediately when she sees that it’s us – she’ll stand and lean up against me and meow and purr for a long time. She likes her petting. Such a sweet girl. Dancing (and smiling) Elle. Pretty Skittles, ready to make the leap. Elle talks to the feather teaser. Elle from above. Pretty Punki girl. Punki makes the leap. ***************************** Sitting in the portal, waiting for the mother ship to arrive. (flickr) “NO, Tommy, this is MY mother ship portal. You go find your OWN, I don’t care if they’re all filled with Christmas presents!” (flickr)

 

Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: No entry. 2004: Meester Boogers howled even more forlornly. 2003: I’ll be ONE OF THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE WHO WALKS AROUND SMELLING LIKE CAT PEE WITHOUT KNOWING IT! 2002: Lay on it! 2001: Fred smiled his asshole smile. 2000: No entry. 1999: No entry.]]>

12-2-07

Welcome to Holigoddamndailies. Those of you who were having an issue with the logo overlapping the calendar – does it look better today? Let me know!

 

Stinkerbelle + Tommy = True Lurve.

 

Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: Ha on her! I DO have a kid! AND a husband! AND 6,000 cats! Look at me, I’ve got it ALLLLLLLLL! 2004: The internet just ROCKS, doesn’t it? 2003: Her date (”But not a DATE date!”) was more dressed-up than she. 2002: I did mention that I have airhead tendencies, did I not? 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry. 1999:

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