Category: Life

* * * After doing some looking around online, I’m 99.99% sure that the hummingbirds who are visiting the feeder outside the computer room window are ruby-throated hummingbirds. Yesterday, there were two males and a female out there, and the two males were apparently trying to kick each others’ asses in hopes of winning the heart of the female. While the males went at it, the female sat on the feeder and ate, while watching them. She looked like she was watching a tennis match. Hummingbirds sure are cute, aren’t they?

* * * The paint guy finished cleaning the window sills and trim around 11:30 yesterday, and left. I assumed he’d gone to lunch, and I said to myself, “Self, get your ass out into the garage and exercise; if he needs you, he’ll probably be tipped off to the fact that you’re in the garage by the sound of the television and he can come knock on the garage door or something. So I was flailing away on the elliptical trainer when I heard the sound of a truck door opening and closing, and I thought “Oh, I guess he’s back.” But then three or four minutes later I heard the same truck door opening and closing, and I heard the truck drive off, so I looked out the window to see him leaving. Turns out he’d finished with the cleaning and since it was raining he couldn’t put the primer on the window sills and trim, so he was done for the day. This morning he got here at SEVEN and went around and did some more cleaning. Now he’s gone to the paint store to get paint thinner, and then I guess he’s going to prime the trim and window sills. I can’t decide whether to go ahead and exercise, or wait. The lazy angel on my shoulder is voting that I wait. Like, until tomorrow. I might let her win this one, because I SO don’t want to be doing deadlifts and have him pop open the window so he can prime the window sills thus bearing unfortunate witness to the red-faced, sweaty, scary-looking person I become when I do lower body weights. I do have to get some housework done, though. Specifically, vacuuming. And cleaning the kitchen. I sure do hate the hell out of housework. * * * From my comments: SO have you watched Growing up Gotti yet? I have! I watched last week’s episode, where they went to Miami. It absolutely cracked me up, because those boys are total troublemakers, and she doesn’t put up with it at ALL. I’m definitely going to keep watching it. And about the toes. Totally sucks but aren’t all the toes the “piggy”? Have you seen Ethan lately? He looks so emaciated, it doesn’t help him out at all. I have never thought Uma Thurman was beautiful either. Yeah, they’re all the piggies – what I meant to say was my PINKY toe, of course. But you knew which one I meant anyway, didn’t you? I have to agree on the Uma Thurman thing – I never quite understood the attraction. In The Truth About Cats & Dogs, when Uma was supposed to be the gorgeous model and Janeane Garofalo was supposed to be the dumpy, ugly one, I always thought it was a ridiculous concept, because Janeane is clearly WAY better looking than Uma. I guess I don’t get a lot of the women Hollywood holds up as the perfect ideal, lookswise, because when she was younger, I did NOT get the Michelle Pfeiffer love – I thought she was funny looking, and I didn’t understand why people went on and ON about how beautiful she was. Oddly, as she gets older (or maybe it’s as *I* get older), I’m starting to think that she’s very pretty. Ah well – different strokes for different folks, eh? Two words for you……KIEFER SUTHERLAND. I read your post about Taking Lives with baited breath, hoping to get something (a crumb, perhaps?) of information about my beloved Kiefer and how others possibly share my lust for him. It was not to be………… You know, I would have mentioned Kiefer, but I don’t think he had even five minutes of screen time. It was ridiculous! We do love the Kief, that’s for sure. At one point in the movie, we were shown what was supposed to be a sketch of Kiefer, but as Fred pointed out, “That looks more like Donald Sutherland than Kiefer Sutherland!” I’m going to maine Sept. 10th , Portland and boothbay Harbor. Can you recommend any “must see” places ? If you’re going to be in Portland, I highly recommend a cruise on Casco Bay Lines – specifically the Bailey Island cruise. I’ve always wanted to try the Sunset cruise, too. You might want to check out the Portland Head Light while you’re in the area. Also, it’s south of Portland, but you might want to visit Old Orchard Beach. Those are the only Portland suggestions that come to mind, but there’s a whole list of stuff you can check out, here. If you’re headed for Boothbay Harbor, stop at The Seabasket in Wiscasset on your way – BEST SEAFOOD EVER, I promise! I’ve only been to Boothbay Harbor a few times, and when I’ve been, it’s just to shop and have lunch and enjoy the view. Boothbay Harbor is absolutely beautiful, and I have a little fantasy wherein Fred will actually cross the Mason-Dixon line and we can move to Boothbay Harbor (but somehow, I think that’s unlikely). Anyway, there’s a list of stuff to do in Boothbay Harbor, here. I think it’d be cool to do a Windjammer cruise, personally. Robyn… are YOU smitten with a kitten???? I am ALWAYS smitten with kittens. One of these days I’m going to snap, and Fred’s going to come home to find that I’ve adopted every kitten at the pet store. Whoohoo! You and Fred are celebrities once again! I am not familiar with the show but I will be sure to check it out at my rental store. I read the description of the DVD and I am wondering how they fit you and Fred into this show? I KNOW they aren’t making fun of our And3rsons!?!?!?!?!? (where is my can of whoopass?) and Umm you are on Penn & Teller???? Yeah, almost two years ago Fred and I were interviewed to be part of an episode of the first season of Penn & Teller: Bullshit. The show was about fad diets, and Fred and I were the “experts”, in that we had lost weight without using a fad diet. They didn’t make fun of us at all, though I felt like a complete idiot during the entire filming. You can read more about the experience starting here. Fred wrote an entry about us actually watching the show, here. * * * I love the look of sheer hatred on Spanky’s face as he glares at Meester Boogers’ stumpy little tail. Is it just me, or does Meester Boogers look like he’s trying to nurse?]]>

* * * People, please please PLEASE help me. I’ve signed up over at mblog in hopes of getting my Couch Potato blog set up and running, but I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME figure out how to make it so that my categories show up, not only under each entry, but also in my sidebar. I’ve looked and looked at the help stuff, but IT IS GEEK GREEK TO ME and it makes no sense to me at ALL. Please, for the love of god, won’t someone out there send me a step-by-step list of how in the holy hell I can make the categories show up? PLEASE, I’m begging you, HELP ME. Also, your best bet is to imagine me as a very slow 7 year-old when typing out instructions. PLEASE. Never mind! I did a Google search on “Movable Type for dummies”, and found the BEST SITE EVER. Excellent for people who don’t speak Geek. Woot! (Hopefully the Tater will be up and running by the beginning of next week. It depends on how long it takes me to figure out how I want it to look!)

* * * I’ll be kind of stuck at home for the forseeable future, it seems. We have a guy here who’ll be painting the outside of our house – not the bricks, but the trim around the house, because we’ve been here for three years and the paint is starting to peel. The guy comes highly recommended by Fred’s father. He was supposed to show up at 8 this morning, and he showed up 10 minutes early, so I guess we’re off to a good start. He works ten hours a day, only takes a couple of 10 minute breaks during the day, and does an excellent job. He estimates that it’ll take about a week and a half to get it all done. Ugh. He seems like a really nice guy, but I haaaaaaaaaate having to deal with strangers. Fred’s father reports that the guy never asked to use the bathroom, though. Which is aces with me. Not that I’m against letting him use our bathroom if he needs to or anything, but I do have a bad experience with a guy leaving a nasty stank in our bathroom, and I think it’s scarred me for life. We had to go around the house yesterday and remove all the screens. My GOD do our windowsills need some serious cleaning – I don’t know the last time I went around and cleaned them (my guess is “never”), but it seriously needs to be done. I went around and dusted them before the guy got here, but they need more than dusting – they need actual cleaning with a wet rag. I don’t even want to talk about the blinds; they’re disgusting and are an inch thick with the kind of dirt that won’t come off with the swipe of a rag. They’re going to need to be soaked. I think once the guy’s done on the outside of the house I’m going to have to take some time to clean the windowsills and blinds. I didn’t even have time to exercise this morning before he showed up, which means I’ll be doing that this afternoon once Fred gets home from work. * * * That’s not actually a look o’ love Spanky’s giving Meester Boogers, is it?]]>

“Hotlinking” (also called “hot linking”, “leeching”, and “bandwidth theft”) is a term referring to when a web page of one website owner is direct linking to the images or other multimedia files on the web host of another website owner (usually without permission, thus stealing bandwidth). This not only causes the other person to pay for the bandwidth of the hotlinked file, but often is intellectual property theft. On my GFY page, on the rules and instructions page, it says very clearly the following: DO NOT link directly to the images on my server; that uses up my bandwidth and really pisses me off. Save the image to your own server or use a text link. If you don’t know how to do either of those, do a Google search and figure it out. I’m not your Momma. Imagine, then, my surprise when I looked at the “latest visitors” stats page provided by my control panel and found that hundreds of people were hotlinking images stored on my server. Imagine how surprised and pissed I was. Now, if you’re one of the people who was hotlinking images on my server, imagine your shock and surprise when you look at your site and instead of seeing, say, this image: you see the image my very creative, awesome, and funny husband made (you know – the husband who’s a geek, so he knows what the hell he’s doing): Anyone hotlinking to any images on my site will be seeing the cat’s ass instead of what they meant to link from now on. Don’t hotlink my images, asshole. As a special bonus, if you’re surfing around using Anonymizer or something similar, all you’re seeing where pictures should be are cat’s assholes. Sorry about that – but if we can’t see that the referring url is a page in bitchypoo.com, we have to assume that it’s someone hotlinking. I don’t know if you can log out of Anonymizer (or whatever) and come back in, but that might be the way for you to go. (Hopefully you can still see the pictures I put up in my entries, though, since they’re hosted elsewhere.)

* * * After posting my entry and taking my shower yesterday, I got dressed and headed out to the grocery store to pick up the groceries we’d run out of since Fred got groceries Saturday morning. When I got home, I put away what I bought, and went back out to my Jeep to bring in the bird seed and Kitten Chow I’d bought at Target earlier. (The Kitten Chow is what we give Meester Boogers, Miz Poo, and Spanky as a snack each night. They go crazy for it. And a bag of Kitten Chow is way cheaper than the tiny little pouches of cat treats you can buy.) I looked out the back window to see if the bird feeders needed to be filled – of course they did, they ALWAYS need to be filled – and went into the garage to get my shoes. I was walking across the kitchen toward the back door when I heard a distant squealing sound. I stopped and listened, wondering if one of the cats was barfing up a hairball. Spanky stared toward the computer room/ library side of the house, and I heard the tell-tale sign of the cat door opening and slapping shut. The squealing sound got louder. “Oh fuck!” I yelled, kicking off my shoes and running toward the cat door. As I reached the hallway that leads from the kitchen to the front door, Meester Boogers came into view, and in his jaws he held a young cardinal, who was squealing just like a little piggy. SqueeSqueeSQUEESQUEE! the bird squealed. “YOU FUCKER, PUT HIM DOWN! PUT HIM DOWN!” I bellowed at Meester Boogers, who took one look at me and hauled ass up the stairs. “GODDAMNIT, YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD, PUT HIM DOWN!” I raced up the stairs directly behind Meester Boogers and the squealing cardinal. Once at the top of the stairs, Meester Boogers ran into my bedroom and turned to look at me. “YOU LET HIM GO! LET HIM GO, YOU STUMPY LITTLE FUCKER!” I yelled, running at him, waving my arms wildly in the air. Meester Boogers let the squealing cardinal go, whereupon the bird flew up into the air, tried to land on the trey ceiling on one side of the room, bounced off the ceiling, and then flew to the other side of the room to attempt a landing on the trey ceiling there. Meester Boogers jumped up on the bed and tracked the bird, once jumping up a few inches and flailing his front paws in the air. “You BETTER NOT!” I warned him. There was a bookcase near where the bird was, and I hoped like hell he’d land on top of it so I could grab Meester Boogers, toss him out of the room, and try to figure out how to catch the bird. The bird found he couldn’t land on the trey ceiling on that side of the room either, looked down at Meester Boogers, let out a warning squawk, and then flew into the window. Stunned, he landed on the floor, and Meester Boogers jumped off the bed and ran over. “GET YOUR ASS AWAY FROM HIM!” I yelled in my deep, scary Mean Momma voice. He looked up at me, decided I was serious, and jumped from the floor to the top of the chair so he could supervise. “It’s okay,” I said to the bird in the comforting I won’t hurt you voice I use with the cats at the pet store. Squealie the Bird didn’t seem comforted. I reached down and picked him up gently, whereupon he began squealing again. From his position atop the chair, Meester Boogers reached out a paw to smack at the bird, but his arm wasn’t long enough. “It’s okayyyyy,” I crooned to the bird, who repayed my kindness by sinking his beak into the tender area between my thumb and forefinger. THOSE FUCKERS BITE MIGHTY FUCKING HARD, LET ME TELL YOU. “OWWW!” I shrieked. “GODDAMN that hurts!” I pulled my hand away from the bird, and when his neck could stretch no further, he let go of my skin. I repositioned my hand so that it was right under his neck, so he couldn’t bite me again, and I headed for the door. Meester Bastard Boogers followed me as I went down the stairs with the squealing bird and opened the back door. As soon as the back door was open I held open my hand, and the bird flew off across the yard into the tree. “Well, I hope he’s okay, you stumpy little bastard,” I said to Meester Boogers. “That was bad. I know it’s instinct and all that shit, but that was still bad.” “Mrrr!” Meester Boogers grunted. He looked up at me with wide eyes. To his chin was stuck a small feather. He’s a stumpy little bastard, but he sure is cute. Good thing for him, I guess. * * * It’s that time again. Yes, yes it is… I’m tired of my ‘do and want to do something different. I’m thinking of growing it out and styling it like Renee‘s (that’s Renee of Renee and Patrick, the first couple on Things I Hate About You!). I can’t decide, though. I’m about three weeks past due to have my hair colored and need to make an appointment, I guess. I promise you, if I could find a clipper set with a 2-inch attachment, I’d just shave it all off. I would! (We actually have a clipper set with a 1-inch attachment, but I don’t want to go quite that short) Hmm. That’s an idea for a fund-raiser – I could try to raise money for the cat shelter I volunteer for, and if I make my goal by a certain date, I’d shave my hair to 2 inches long. I wonder if anyone would go for that? * * * “What?”]]>

* * * We were watching Taking Lives last night, and Ethan Hawke came onto the screen. We always mock Ethan Hawke when we see him, because of the award shows we’ve seen him on wherein they introduce him as “Actor and Novelist Ethan Hawke”, because hello? How pretentious is THAT? You KNOW he’s got it written into his contract (do they have to sign a contract to appear on an awards show?) that they have to introduce him that way. “Oh look,” I said when Ethan Hawke appeared on the screen. “It’s actor and novelist Ethan Hawke!” “Actor, novelist, and philanderer Ethan Hawke,” Fred corrected. A minute later, as Ethan Hawke’s character was sketching a picture, I said “Oh, is he supposed to be an artist too?” When the sketch was finished – and a pretty good one, at that – Fred said “Actor, novelist, philanderer and ARTIST Ethan Hawke!” Ten minutes later, when Ethan Hawke was charming the pants off of Angelina Jolie’s character, Fred ammended the title. “Actor, novelist, philanderer, artist, and LADY’S MAN Ethan Hawke!” Which for some reason struck my funny bone, and I laughed until I cried. That Fred, he’s a funny bastard. Taking Lives is not great cinema, but it wasn’t horrible, either. It had a nice little twist – two of them, actually – at the end, but too bad we figured both of them out before they were revealed. Do Canadian police often ask for help from FBI profilers? That seems odd to me – I would think that Canada would have their own version of the FBI and their own profilers. Anyone know? The oddest thing about this DVD is that it actually has a gag reel on it. It’s very unusual to see a gag reel on a suspense/ thriller type movie – you almost always see them on the comedies. I watched the gag reel this morning and it’s nothing to write home about, nothing terribly funny, but that Angelina Jolie sure is a giggler, isn’t she? Speaking of Angelina Jolie, Fred LURRRRRRRVED her in Hackers, but thinks she’s gotten weird-looking since. I’m kind of the same way with Ethan Hawke – I loved and adored him in Dead Poets Society, but hasn’t really done anything for me in any of his movies since. I’m sure he’d be heartbroken to know that.

* * * When I was in Maine last December, I did a lot – A LOT – of shopping. One of the things I bought a lot of was bath bombs at Crabtree & Evelyn. Not only is there a Crabtree & Evelyn in Freeport, but there’s also one in the Maine Mall in Portland. I stopped in both those stores to check out the after-Christmas sales, and I ended up buying a TON of bath bombs in the “water” scent. They were marked down from some ridiculous price (maybe $7 each?) to $1.30 each. I love bath fizzies and when I find a bargain like that I’ll stock up. I used up the last bath bomb last night, and I guess I never realized before just how strong the scent is in those bath bombs. I woke up this morning and the scent was really strong on my nightgown, but even when I got dressed, I could still smell it. I haven’t taken a shower yet, and I feel like I have a fragrance force-field that reaches to ten feet in every direction. People probably think I’m one of those obnoxious women who sprays half a bottle of perfume on herself every day. But I’m not! I swear! One little squirt o’ perfume in the area of my cleavage is all I use. No wonder it takes me forever to use up a tiny little bottle of perfume. * * * Speaking of scents and all that, you know what the best smell in the world is? Lemon. Fred uses fresh-squeezed lemon in his iced tea, and I always want to stick my nose in his tea and sniff wildly the way the cats do. I was about to say “I wish they made lemon-scented perfume”, but I thought for a moment, and then I went to my email and found the link to Demeter that wonderful reader Wendy sent me, and I looked, and voila! Pink lemonade cologne spray. Woot! * * * Pet store kitty pics are hither. * * * I don’t believe I’ve mentioned that Spanky loves to sit in the sun, have I? ]]>

Happy 13th birthday, Brian!

* * * The city of Madison is apparently in the midst of a social experiment. “What,” they wondered, “Would happen if we started work on a road, abandoned it for three weeks, and then started working on it again with a vengeance? Working from 6 am to 6 pm every day. Oh! And what if we had big, heavy equipment that did nothing but back up, making that eardrum-shattering “I’m backing up!” sound big equipment makes? What if we did this directly outside the bedroom of Robyn And3rson? How long would it take her to snap? Oh! And what if, once we’ve stopped work at 6 pm, we give her a few hours to be lulled into a false sense of security, and THEN we move about 1/4 mile down the road and start digging up road, so that she can juuuuust hear us digging when she’s trying to go to sleep? Oooh, fun!” And then the people at City Hall all placed their “When will Robyn And3rson snap?” bets, ranging from twenty minutes to three days. They don’t know that years of being on the receiving end of a yammerer, starting at a very early age, has made me into a person who can tune things out at the drop of a hat, and keep them tuned out for hours and hours and hours. But even I have my limits. Here, watch this 12-second video clip I made JUST FOR YOU and feel the magic of being in my home! This is what I’ve been hearing 12 hours a day for the last three days. Make sure you turn your sound WAY up, to get the full effect. I’m about to snap, I can feel it… I’m curious, though. I don’t understand how on earth they’re getting ANY work done if they’re doing nothing but driving in reverse. Fuckers. * * * One of the many things I love about my husband is how excited he gets when he’s writing a program. We were laying in the bed the other night and he started telling me about a software program he’s been writing (not for work – for fun! The man writes software just for the fun of it!)(it’s an FTP client, he says. He’s thinking of releasing it as freeware or shareware when he’s done with it) and he gestured so largely and flailed his arms around so vigorously that by the time he was done I was beginning to feel vaguely seasick. He loves to get into the details of the components of the software he’s working on, and he calls each piece “he.” As in, “blah blah blah and then he goes over here, and then blah blah blah.” Hearing him refer to pieces of software as “he” always makes me smile. (He just told me he was talking about recursing a remote directory tree. Well, DUH.) It’s pretty cool to see someone get that excited about the work he’s doing, even if it’s just for fun. When software can get him that hot and bothered (intellectually speaking), I guess he’s in the right line of work. * * * Reading about the assmonkey Angel had to deal with recently (grrr!) reminded me of the problem – “problem”, I should say – we had with our DVR a few months ago. All of a sudden, after a certain period of nonusage, around four hours, the DVR/ cable box would turn itself off. This wouldn’t be a problem, except that the VCR was plugged into the DVR (are these initials giving you a headache, too?) and every time the DVR turned itself off, the VCR lost power, and so we’d have to reset the clock on the VCR every time we sat down to watch TV. We decided it was a glitch in the DVR/ Cable box, and a call to the cable company didn’t make us think any differently, since the service rep. didn’t know why it was turning off either, so she made an appointment for the cable guy to come out a few days later. When the cable guy showed up (he was actually the one who’d brought out our DVR in the first place), I took him into the living room, showed him the DVR, and told him the problem. “So it just shuts itself off after a few hours of inactivity?” he repeated once I’d finished talking. “Yeah,” I said. “Well, that’s what it’s supposed to do,” he said, and then gave me a Not too swift, are ya? look. “Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know that.” “Yeah, it shuts off because it’s a computer and it’s better not to have it going 24/7.” “Oh.” “Yeah.” “Well, thanks for coming out!” “No problem.” With “dumbass” implied in the words. “I hope the rest of my calls for the day are this easy!” Heh. (We solved the VCR issue by plugging it into the wall instead of the DVR. Voila!) * * * Every time I see the word “smitten” (I just saw it here), I think of Phoebe saying to Monica “you are so much the smitten kitten!” on Friends. I just felt you should be aware of that. Just in case. Make a note, mm’kay? * * * Speaking of DVRs and TV and such, I finally got around to setting the DVR to record Airline and Growing up Gotti. Yay! And speaking of the Gottis, maybe someone can help me out here. I bought the most recent copy of Star Magazine (um, shut up. I HAD to see the picture of Demi Moore that had her so horrified about her knees that she wants to have them lifted. And, having seen the picture of said knees, I have this to say “Shut up, you stupid, vapid bitch. If you’re going to throw $15,000 away on plastic surgery for your KNEES, I’m going to have to put out a contract on your empty little head. Good fucking god, what the hell kind of example are you setting for those oddly-named children of yours? Is this why you and Bruce are divorced, because you felt the need to stupid shit like this? God LORD. Also, can you give me the name of your plastic surgeon? Because he’s REALLY FUCKING GOOD. Except for your boobs, I’d never know you’d had plastic surgery, except for the good people at Star, who were kind enough to list everything you’ve had done.) Anyway, the Gottis. One of the (12 year-old) Star reporters went to Victoria Gotti’s house and something in the ensuing article pointed up the fact that her sons all go by the last name of Gotti also. Since Gotti is her maiden name, are the boys just using Gotti for the recognition factor, because it makes them look cool, or what? Never mind, I think I just answered my own question. What a lame thing for me to be curious about. * * * Last night I was reading TV Guide (yes, I DO read the MOST fascinating stuff!), and I came across this little blurb: Nely Gal�n is finally practicing what she preaches. The 41 year-old life coach and creator of Fox’s hit makeover show The Swan had her first plastic surgery on July 23 when she turned to one of the show’s surgeons, Dr. Terry Dubrow, for a breast augmentation. Gal�n, who swears she’d never had more than Botox shots in her forehead, tells TV Guide that she has wanted the surgery since giving birth to her son four years ago. Oh my GOD. THIS is why you should never have plastic surgery, people. It APPARENTLY makes you so delusional that you think that people will look at you: and actually believe you when you claim you’ve never had any plastic surgery at all. I call BULLSHIT on this one, folks. Just glancing at her, I’d say she’s not only had Botox in her forehead, she’s had a brow lift, cheek implants, silicone injections in her lips (or something else to make them puffy and frightening), and maybe even a chin implant. I might be wrong about some of those – but the woman HAS HAD PLASTIC SURGERY, there’s no doubt about it. For the love of christ, she looks like MADAME. I don’t CARE that she’s had plastic surgery, it’s HER body – hell, she can become Jocelyn Wildenstein (::shudder::), for all I care – but don’t LIE about it, like we can’t take one look at her face and know the truth. We might be dumb, but we’re not BLIND, for crying out loud. I promise y’all that when I’m on facelift #13, I won’t lie about it. In fact, I’ll probably give you all the gory details, complete with pictures. * * * Bahaha! Jocelyn Wildenstein says that if a woman can’t afford plastic surgery, she should develop a personality and learn to bake! Yeah, that’s who we need to be taking plastic surgery tips from… (Er, never mind. I didn’t realize Happy Woman is a satire site. Durrrr. Perhaps I should pay attention next time? Nah.) * * * ::urrrrrp:: “Oh! ExCUSE me!”]]>

Some Kind of Wonderful while I was on the elliptical machine this morning. I sure do love those 80s movies. I love Eric Stoltz, too. Gotta love the redheads.

* * * From my comments: Did you know that Penn & Teller’s Bull—- Season 1 is out on DVD now? We can all see Robyn and Fred on DVD. (and VHS) Yep, it’s true. We’re in the one about diet fads. Fred looks wonderful, I look like a gaping idiot. You can own (or rent!) your very own copy and watch it over and over again. Whee! What kinda popcorn do y’all eat? Fred and the spud are the big popcorn eaters – they usually eat it every night for a snack. They were eating Jolly Time Light popcorn (microwavable), and I guess it wasn’t bad. BUT the other day “popcorn” was on my list, and I had no idea what kind to get, so I grabbed a box of the Orville Redenbacher Butter Light and HOLY CRAP is that stuff good! I’ve said before that popcorn is one of those things like coffee that smells better than it tastes (at least, to me), but this stuff is amazing. Buttery, flavorful, just all-around DAMN GOOD. I highly recommend it, but it’s a little pricey, so you might want to wait ’til there’s a sale. Luckily it’s buy one, get one free here at Publix, so I grabbed a couple of boxes, and I may go back and grab a couple more tomorrow. Check this out… I don’t get it, but there it is. the largest damn shuttlecock (tee hee) evah. Y’all love to type the word “shuttlecock”, don’t you? Heh. Love the sunglasses website. I’ll be adding it to my favorite. I unfortunately need prescription – contacts and I don’t get along – but I need to buy some for my nephew who just went to Iraq. I guess they are a hot items since life with broken or missing sunglasses is hell over there. Any ideas what would be cool for a 23 year old Army “boy”? OK MAN but he’s still my boy! I have planned mid-October for my first care package. This is an excellent site if you’re looking to send stuff to soldiers in Iraq. It has a list of stuff they need over there, and how to send it. Badminton can be a killer, actually. Are you sure the shuttlecock wasn’t in slow motion? ‘Cause those babies have been clocked at 90 mph. I still wouldn’t watch it, partly because racket sports just don’t excite me and partly because you just can’t see anything anyway except people swinging rackets and these indistinguishable blurs of air where the shuttlecock used to be. I watched a film of it once and was left going, “Did he hit that? Where is it now? What just happened?” I’m sure it was moving faster than it looked, but I think it was just the WAY it moved that made it so funny. It still cracks me up that badminton is an Olympic event! Robyn, have you watched, or are you even interested in watching, Growing up Gotti (A&E)? I find it intriguing and addictive! They call them the “Hotti Gottis”!!! Poor Victoria has got her hands FULL. I love Growing up Gotti as well as Airline. Airline makes me happy with my job and so glad I don’t work for an airline company. People are RUDE! I’ve been wanting to check out Airline for a while now, and my friend Liz always tells me about Growing up Gotti when she calls, so I want to see that as well – I just have to remember to set the DVR to catch ’em! Hey Robyn, would Fred want to rebuild your new computer? 😉 I LOVE LOVE LOVE that case! Nance and I have both been drooling over it. Fred thinks it’s ugly as hell, but I love it. I’m SO getting that case the next time around! Um, this isn’t probably relevent to me since my chances of getting preggers now that I am FORTY-FIVE are QUITE nil (old eggs), BUT does using Seasonale lessen one’s chances of getting pregnant when she decides to go off of it ?? Seasonale’s just a birth control pill packaged differently, so while I don’t know this for sure, I’m going to guess that the answer is “no”. You’d have to check with a professional to be sure, though. (Heh. See how I cover my ass?) Hey Robyn, have you seen this? Wahhhh! I want a kitten!!! Anyway, regarding the cats, my cat doesn’t go outside, so, luckily, we don’t get any mail on the doorstep, BUT, she does eat toilet paper. What gives? Is this normal? Hell if I know. Maybe she thinks she needs more fiber? I’m just glad as hell that none of our cats have gotten into the habit of playing with (or eating!) the toilet paper. In response to my request for help when singing the “She’s a little average” song, Bozoette rose to the occasion: She’s a little average, She’s really not a looker. Yes, she’s a little average, But at least she’s not a hooker! I married her because I’m Pretty average too, She’s beautiful to me, but I’m probably hideous to you! Heh. I do love my readers! * * * We (I say “we”, but mean “Fred”) started putting medicine in the cats’ ears last night. None of them seemed to like it, but Miz Poo had the strongest reaction – she walked around with her ears held out to the side. It was funny as hell. And to add insult to injury, after we put medicine in her ears, we gave her a pill to help her swollen lip, and a shot of oil to help with the dandruff. She spent the rest of the evening hiding out under the bed, poor baby. Fred is just amazed that one portly cat can have so many health issues. Poor Miz Poo. * * * Even sound asleep, he looks annoyed. If Fred dares to walk away from his desk, Meester Boogers is in his chair, sound asleep by the time he comes back. ]]>

* * * Homework: Week 28 Pets: are they worth the added housework? How much extra work around the house (besides the work required for their regular care) do your pets create for you? Do, or did, you factor in housework when deciding to get a pet? Do the benefits outweigh the headches, at least on most days? I’d say that the benefits outweigh the headaches most of the time. The biggest housework they add to my housecleaning schedule (hahahahah! I typed “my housecleaning schedule” with a straight face!) is cleaning out the litter box every morning and vacuuming up the litter more often than I’d like. They also track a lot of litter and cat hair on the stairs, which are carpeted, and I hate vacuuming the stairs, so I only do that about once a week. Other than that, I can’t complain. Except for the cricket legs I’ve been having to pick up lately. And I suspect there’s a big pile of dead crickets somewhere I’ll have to vacuum up or scoop up and toss out. Maybe they’ll decompose before I find them… Oh, and the hairballs. I loathe cleaning up hairballs. Ugh. Little bastards.

* * * I’ve been an errand-running motherfucker this week, let me tell you. Every day, there have been errands to run, and today’s been the busiest so far. I had to run to the vet’s to get ear mite medication, to the fruit-and-veggie stand about 10 minutes down the road to get a big-ass bag of fresh tomatoes (yummy!), to Sam’s to buy bottled water (yes, I refill the bottles, but only for two days, because after that I understand the plastic starts to break down and leach into the water) and a few other things, and on the way home from Sam’s, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up all the stuff we’ve run out of since I went TWO DAYS AGO. How on earth do people do it, just going to the grocery store every two weeks? We’re always running out of stuff we can’t live without (salad, milk, popcorn, Diet Coke) and running to the store to buy more. We won’t run out of chicken anytime soon, though, that’s for sure. I love Sam’s. * * * Hey, did you know that season one of Knight Rider is available on DVD? I saw it at Sam’s and had to really struggle not to buy it. NOT. You’ve got to wonder, though, how much demand there was to see that show on DVD. And when the hell are they going to put Baywatch out? * * * Spanky lurrrrves the sun, have I mentioned?]]>

10 Things I Hate About You, which I got from Netflix last week. I love that damn movie. Fred came out to the garage while I was working out and watching the first part of the movie on Sunday, and said that he couldn’t decide whether Julia Stiles is pretty in an ugly way, or ugly in a pretty way. Heh. Which reminds me, I need to go download more songs by The Donnas.

* * * Survivor 487 starts in less than a month, on September 16th! Whoo! There’s a girl from Gorham, ME on this one – hopefully she’ll do the state proud. I also hope to get a new Couch Tater up and running before then so I don’t babble in here about Survivor and put the non-Survivor-watchers to sleep. But since I don’t currently have a Couch Tater going, I’ll do a little talking about TV. Those uninterested in my TV babblings, go on and skip to the next section, ‘k? We’ve been watching Entourage on HBO since it started. I really REALLY like the show, although it makes me nervous. Because those boys are spending money like it’s going out of style, and Vince isn’t bringing in any money! And Drama, Turtle, and E are depending on Vince to keep them in the lifestyle to which they’ve become accustomed, and I suspect at some point Vince is going to wise up and kick them off the payroll. Then again, Vince doesn’t strike me as all that wise, so maybe not. He’s adorable when he smiles though, isn’t he? Jeremy Piven as Ari is possibly the best casting I’ve ever seen, but all the casting in this show is perfect. I finished season three of Coupling last week, and I actually hooted, loudly, at the end of the last episode, the part that involved Patrick, Sally, Steve, and Jeffrey and the dancing. I’ll say no more so as not to ruin it for anyone who hasn’t gotten that far, but it was fucking BRILLIANT. (I can no longer type or say the word “brilliant” without hearing Jeff saying it in my head. God I LOVE HIM.) We’ve been watching Things I Hate About You (Jane mentioned it in an entry and made me want to watch it), and some episodes are better than others. The very first one is my favorite, so far, because of the guy burping and the woman with her singing to the dog. I hope like hell that episode comes on again. And look! I see on the Things I Hate About You page that it’ll be on tonight! Y’all should check it out if you haven’t yet, because when the woman sings to her dog, Fred and I were laughing so hard we were crying. Also, Mo Rocca, media gadfly. Can’t beat that combination, nosir. The only way it’d be better is if we could call and vote on who’s the most annoying. And lastly, we’ve been watching Trading Spouses because we are complete reality whores. I couldn’t be on this show at all, because there’s no way on earth I could walk into someone else’s house and try to tell their kids how to act. I’m no Tammy Nakamura, after all. (Thankyajezus) Okay, that’s it. I’ll shut up about the TV stuff now. You’re welcome! * * * Hey, when do the Olympics start? Some time in September? JUST KIDDING. We haven’t been watching the Olympics, but we’re aware that they’re going on now. I’m not so much of a summer Olympics fan, but we were flipping channels last night and came across the BADMITTEN (I have no fucking clue if that’s spelled right) BADMINTON event. That right there is a sport – I should say “sport” – that needs to be yanked right out of the Olympics entirely. I mean, come on. BADMITTEN BADMINTON is an Olympic event? We watched for two or three minutes and giggled like goons as the birdie (is it called a birdie?) floated gently back and forth between the two badmitten badminton players. It occurs to me that the only Olympic sport I have the slightest bit of interest in is figure skating, and then only the women’s figure skating and the pairs. The men I’m just not all that interested in – unless Philippe Candeloro happens to be around. Does he even compete in the Olympics anymore? Did he ever? See how clueless I am? * * * So, I’ve been wearing the same pair of sunglasses for, I think, a couple of years now. They’re sunglasses I bought at LL Bean, and they’re just the best sunglasses I’ve ever had – they’re comfortable and I don’t look like a complete dork in them. The lenses, however, have gotten pretty scratched, because I just toss my sunglasses in my purse when I’m not wearing them instead of carefully putting them in the case they came with like I should. So I went to LL Bean’s web page and found that they not only no longer carry that particular style, they don’t carry any round-lensed sunglasses at all. The horror! Which is why I spent half an hour online this morning doing nothing but looking at sunglasses. Did you know that for a mere $79.95, you can get FOUR pairs of sunglasses, all of them modeled after the sunglasses characters wore in the Matrix movies? I kind of like the Neo sunglasses, but rimless sunglasses really aren’t my thing. And then, my friends, and THEN I stumbled across this gem of a page. They may look like Bolle sunglasses… but they are NOT Bolle. They might RESEMBLE Ray Bans… but they are NOT Ray Bans. It cracks me up, that “NOT” in all caps at the beginning of the name of the sunglasses. I’m thinking about getting the NOT Ray Ban Predator 2s, because I really like the style, but I’ll be damned if I’ll spend more $100+ on the real ones – I’m too rough on my sunglasses to be spending that kind of money. I’ll buy the cheap knockoffs and spend the money I saved on BOOKS. * * * Speaking of things worth buying, when I was in Hawaii I bought a bottle of Kukui Moisturzing Lotion. I’ve been using it on my hands, and I think I’ve found the lotion I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life (which means they’ll stop making it aaaaany minute now. It’s not greasy, it sinks into my skin pretty quickly, and it doesn’t wash off the second I get my hands wet. Also, it smells pretty good. If you want to give it a try, you can get it here – I have the blue bottle, but I understand the brown bottle is fragrance-free. Just thought I’d pass that along to y’all. * * * “Who, me? No, I wasn’t about to go out the cat door. Nope, not me! I wouldn’t do that, nosirreebob. Nope nope. I was just standing here making sure no one else went out, is what I was doing.” ]]>

here, and from this week are here.

* * * Hey. Have you been to Smart & Sassy recently? I had call to use the words “Stalker McCreepypants” in an answer a while back, and it amused me way more than it should have, probably. We’re almost caught up on questions, so why don’tcha go over there and ask us a fun question. Or a difficult one. Whatever. Go ask questions, is what I’m saying! * * * So Sunday, we went up to Monte Sano State Park and had a picnic. We had a cooler stuffed with containers – one for the hamburgers, one for the coleslaw, one for the potato salad, one for the chicken breasts (which we grilled and brought home to have for dinner tonight) – and a number of other things (ketchup, Diet Coke, etc.). That cooler was HEAVY AS HELL. Fred carried one end and I carried the other, and we had to stop three different times so I could switch hands, the damn cooler was so heavy. We apparently weren’t the only ones with the idea of having a picnic – the place was packed, and we ended up at a picnic table right by the main path, so people were constantly walking by and checking out what we were eating. Best damn hamburger I’ve ever had, though. Fred talked about going for a hike after we ate, but I was so stuffed that the only place I wanted to hike was back to the car. I really think the best time to take a hike is BEFORE you eat. We’ll have to give it a try next time. * * * So, two journalers I read have both been targeted recently by disturbed people who left really ugly messages in their comments. Oddly, both journalers are named Jane – the Jane you already know, and a Jane I “discovered” while reading my sister-in-law’s journal – not only is the second Jane a Mainer, she’s also got the most adorable red-headed baby. How can you resist red-headed babies? I cannot. Red-headed babies are my favorite babies in the whole wide world. I mean, I’m partial to blondes and brunettes as well, but I feel a kinship with red-headed babies, because in my heart of hearts, though I wasn’t born that way, I’m a red-head. But I digress. So both Janes were recently targeted by disturbed people who left ugly comments, and the mind boggles, doesn’t it? I know what some of you will say – if you’re going to have a journal open to strangers on the internet, you’re going to get comments you don’t like. Sure, okay – but what’s wrong with these people, who would leave a comment telling another person they’re ugly, who would attack innocent children? I mean, what are they trying to prove? What kind of sad and pathetic life must these people have, that doing their best to hurt a stranger is something that brings them joy? I just don’t get it. And with luck, I’ll never really understand it. Luckily, people like that are pretty few and far between, and in the end, they really just aren’t important at all. (Nance said it better, by the way) * * * Oh, by the way? When you tell someone “Don’t worry, I won’t be back to read your journal”? Please. EVERYONE knows that means “I’m going to come back every six seconds to see the reactions to my asshole comment”. I guess I don’t really understand the people who feel the need to announce they won’t be back to read a particular blog or journal. I’ve gotten emails wherein people have said “Your talking about TV all the time bores the shit out of me. I’m not going to bother to read anymore” or “I can’t stand all the cat talk. I won’t be reading anymore” or, my favorite, “Fred hurt my feelings, so I’m going to stop reading your journal.” Um, okay. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, mm’kay? If you’re going to stop reading… stop reading. Don’t feel the need to announce that you’re going to stop reading. Don’t drag it out as long as humanly possible – “I just had to say this one last thing, and then I’m leaving. No, really, I’m leaving. I’m gone now. In just a second I’ll be gone forever. Bye! Seriously, bye! I’m leaving, bye! Don’t try to stop me, I’m going!” Of course, I’m not talking about any of YOU, because YOU all rock. I just had to babble about it a little so I could forget about it. Heh. * * * Oh, I have Seasonale news! I’m at the end of my second pack – I finished the last pill on Saturday – and this time around I had only two days of breakthrough bleeding. I had about a month of very very light breakthrough bleeding last time, so two days of breakthrough bleeding is a definite improvement. Maybe next time around there’ll be NONE. A girl can hope, anyway. The PMS has been rough this time around – Saturday, Fred claimed I’d been snapping at him a lot over the previous few days, but he’s just a lying bastard and I need someone to come over and help me bury him in the back yard because if he belches ONE MORE TIME…. I’ve probably retained five pounds of water, every ounce of it in MY BOOBS (grrrr), and I have the Zit o’ Doom on my cheekbone – one of those zits that won’t pop, just sits there for days and days, glowing a bright, bright red. I don’t think I’ve ever before looked forward to having my period with quite this much enthusiasm. * * * One of the two hummingbirds that visits the feeder. Hummingbirds are CUTE. I need a pet hummingbird! * * * Miz Poo at the tail end of a yawn. And in the middle of one. Clearly we bore her silly.]]>

A. Fucking. Men.

* * * So, five days after Fred decided we needed new computers, it is done: I have a yellow keyboard and mouse, but I think I’m going to switch back to the old mouse, because the new one just doesn’t feel right, and it annoys me. When the lights are off and all you can see is the red glowing fan, this looks pretty frickin’ awesome. Miz Poo checks out Fred’s new computer. Each time I have to back up my system, it takes less time. It took MAYBE half an hour to get everything written to CD this time, and the part that took the longest was backing up my music. I filled up five cds with nothing but mp3s. Well, to me that’s a lot – some of you probably have way more than that. But I’m just a beginner! Give me time, I’ll have fifteen different versions of “Xanadu” in my music folder. (Oh, wait. I already do!) This computer is so much faster than my old one, it makes my head spin. It’s quieter, too. I like the keyboard – it has springy keys, rather than the clattery ones my old keyboard had – and my new speakers are AWESOME. I still have to download several programs, but I have Firefox up and running, and Eudora and WS_FTP, and those are the important ones. * * * So, every few years we have to replace the comforter on my bed, because the cats nastify it and I can’t stand to look at it any more. The comforter we’ve had for about the last two years is in particularly rough shape, because of the several times last Fall when Tubby peed on it, requiring me to toss it in the washer – which is not necessarily how it was supposed to be cleaned. But Tubby had a knack for peeing on the comforter at night when it wasn’t really feasible to run out to the dry cleaner, and I’ll be DAMNED if I’ll leave a pee-covered comforter just sitting around the house, since cat pee is one of the most noxious odors on this earth, so into the washer it went. Finally, one day last week, I was so sick of looking at the damn comforter that I went on eBay to see if I could find a decent quilt-type comforter for the bed. After some surfing around, I found this quilt – and that’s a damn good price for a king-size quilt – and bought it. I wish it had a little less white and light colors in it, but for now it’s working out pretty well. I’m sure once Spanky barfs on it and it’s built up a nice coat of Spot hair I’ll be less enamored, but for now I really like it. And Fred doesn’t hate it. Score! * * * The spud put a blanket on the floor in front of the window for the cats to lay on. Note how they’re carefully NOT laying on it. “We didn’t want to get your blanket full of cat fur!” ]]>