The Bear, with Gary Busey as Paul “Bear” Bryant. For those of you not in the south, Bear Bryant coached The Crimson Tide, and was the winningest coach in the history of college football.
Anyway, the movie was made back in ’84 and Fred never got a chance to see it. Lo these many years, it has apparently been his fondest wish to see it, though Bear Bryant’s family had bought up the rights and refused to allow it to be released on videotape until recently.
But I digress.
So Fred was watching the movie while I ate lunch, and after listening to Gary Busey’s voiceover, I turned to Fred, who was snuggling on the loveseat with Miz Poo, and said “He sounds an awful lot like the guy from Slingblade!” Fred turned and gave me a blank smile, then turned back to the movie.
I continued eating lunch, and then – five minutes later – Fred turned to me with a big smile.
“He sounds like Carl from Slingblade sometimes!” he said, all proud of his discovery and obviously expecting me to burst out laughing at his astute observation.
“Oh my GOD!” I said, giving him the JESUS CHRIST DO YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME?! bug-eyes.
“Oh,” he said. “Did you already say that?”
While he was out running errands on Saturday, Fred had occasion to be in the Dollar Store, where he bought me a nice big bunch of smiley-face balloons. Aren’t they great?
Naturally, Miz Poo was enthralled with the ribbons hanging from the ceiling, so we had to be careful so she wouldn’t chew off a length of ribbon and swallow it, which would make her intestines bind up and require another zillion-dollar operation.
(Soon after we took the picture, we moved the balloons so she couldn’t reach the ribbon tied to them)
I’d like to take a moment to extoll the virtues of yet another cleaning product. It’s fairly new, I believe, and in my experience it’s definitely worth the cost.
A few weeks ago I purchased a bottle of
Clorox with Teflon toilet bowl cleaner. The idea is that the “Teflon Surface Protector” keeps dirt and stuff from sticking, and so the areas you clean with it stay clean longer. I was skeptical – I mean, there were no
actual Scrubbing Bubbles with big bug-eyes and blue eyebrows and a smile peeking out in the Scrubbing Bubbles Bathroom Cleaner that my mother bought once at my behest, and I have to admit that I was deeply scarred by the disappointment, because I was going to catch a couple of Scrubbing Bubbles and keep them as pets.
But I digress.
So always an optimist, I bought the Clorox with Teflon toilet bowl cleaner, because if there’s any one place in the house where I’d prefer dirt (among other things) not to stick, it would be the toilet bowl. When the downstairs toilet needed cleaning – because Fred’s father and stepmother were coming over to watch a few episodes of
The Shield with us, and to be frank with you, the only time I bother to clean that bathroom is if someone’s coming over, and thus the reason it only gets cleaned three times a year, if that – I used the Clorox stuff to clean it.
Two weeks later? Clean as a whistle. AMAZINGLY clean and sparkly and shining. I don’t even cringe when I see the cats belly-up to the toilet bowl, partaking of some scrumptious toilet water, because it’s just THAT clean.
Yesterday, I bought a bottle of the bathroom cleaner, because the OTHER place I would like dirt and grime to stop sticking is in the bathtub – we use a lot of bath gunk in the tub, and a few days after cleaning the tub, it’s usually gunked back up – and the shower. This morning I cleaned the bathroom, using both the Clorox with Teflon products, and I have to say, so far so good. The area between the sinks has never looked so shiny. For that matter, the area around the tub is looking pretty damn good, too.
So I have to say two thumbs up to the Clorox with Teflon products. All I need now is for them to make a kitchen product, and I’ll be all set.
I was weirded out a tad at the post office yesterday. First of all, I walked in and stood in line behind a girl who had just put something in a Priority shipping box and sealed it. She looked up from her package and looked around, seeming confused.
“Oh,” she said, smiling at me. “Go ahead. I’m a little confused.” So I moved around her to stand in line. I glanced back and saw her, still confused, looking around. She saw me looking, pointed, and said “What’s that?”
“What’s what?” I asked.
“That,” she said, pointing to the section of the post office where you can buy stamps and envelopes and various things.
“That’s where you can buy stamps and envelopes and various things,” I said. “They also process packages for people, too.”
“Oh,” she said, nodding her head. She resumed perusing her package.
A few moments later, she tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and smiled at her.
“Can you – are you allowed to write directly on the box?” she asked, holding up the Priority box.
“Yes, you sure can,” I said.
She smiled, clearly embarrassed. “I’ve never mailed anything before.”
I simply smiled in response and turned back around. It’s been so long since I’ve been around other people that saying “How on earth does someone get to be an adult (she appeared to be in her mid-20s, and had no foreign accent that I could determine) having never mailed anything before?!” seemed like it would be rude.
But truly, the mind boggles. I go to the post office at least twice a week, and on at least one of those days I have one or more packages to mail. I’ve been mailing things since I was around the age of 10. How does it happen that an adult could have never mailed anything before? How? Was she locked in a convent until just recently?
I stood and wondered what her story was, but by the time I thought of a good opening question (“Seriously? You’ve never mailed anything before?”), the time to ask it had passed.
Today I’m still burning with curiosity, and I wish I’d asked anyway.
He’s a good boy. Yes he is!]]>
We all had a good laugh when your Teflon Toilet Bowl cleanser sparked some very *interesting* conversation at work today! One lady wanted to know if you could “fry an egg on it”…
I guess you had to be there. Anyway, thanks for the smiles.:)
Concur on the Clorox Teflon. There is also a product called Bathroom Duck or something that does the same thing, if they still make it. Also, you know I bemoan the presence of cats in the world, but that Miz Poo. Is damn cute. Argh.
I was the same way with the Scrubbing bubbles (except I just wanted to see ’em, not keep them as pets). I hope our own children aren’t as dumb as we were. Hee!
That reminded me of Dog Eat Dog last night…there was a guy on there who has never read a single book in his life…I mean, even if you don’t like to read, how can you have NEVER read a book??
about the woman at the post office…. maybe she was one of those women you see on Jenny Jones… she has a controlling husband who doesn’t let her leave the house, use the phone, or have friends… and finally she left the jackass and this trip to the post office was her ‘first, liberating adventure..’ well just a thought…
also thanks for the review of the Clorox, I was wondering.. does it make the tub slippery??? can’t wait to try it…
I enjoy your journal, thanks for all the laughs and I am going to rub the fact that you got those cute ballons from Fred… I have been married 26 years and NEVER got anything but flowers, MAYBE all of 10 times in all those years…. maybe I ought to join up with that woman at the post office….
Heather – no, but you could probably poach an egg in the toilet bowl. 😛
Jane – You are correct. Miz Poo is the shiznit. Heh.
Nance – obviously those were the days before “Truth in advertising”! I fully expected a ton of little scrubbing bubbles to come out of the can, spinning all over the place and grinning up a storm.
Bonnie – I can’t imagine people who don’t read. What do they DO? I mean, if I’m bored I’ll read anything in sight – do nonreaders just stare off into space?
Kara – nope, the tub and shower weren’t slippery at all. They were clean as hell, though! 🙂
Hey, I see a letter o’love here! ;o) Thanks for the product review, gonna have to give it a try cuz I hate to clean.
And thanks for sharing your days! :o)
Scrubbing bubbles…oh yes. I had to admit to my mother this weekend that I remain forever saddened by the fact that there were no cute scrubbies that came bubbling forth. (We were cleaning, and I kept using Lysol, not Scrubbing Bubbles. Lysol stinks, but Bubbles disappoints…)
As for not-mailing-anything, I had the same conversation once when I first went to college. Prior to that time, I had never, ever had to do a package…that was my mom’s job! I barely knew which corner of the envelope you were supposed to put the address in. But that has more to do with not knowing right from left. Uh…yeah. So kinda along the lines of Jenny Jones, only an overly protective mother not husband.
Got a spare kitty? I have soe spare deskspace.
I sent the husband out for a big huge thing of the Clorox Teflon stuff from BJ’s…oh yeah!!! Gotta love the pretty blue bottle! I, too, was one of the disappointed scrubbing bubbles fans..my mother laughed at me when I asked, “WOW! Do those bubbles REALLY come out of there?? COOL!”
I cannot tell y’all how happy it makes me to know I wasn’t alone in my Scrubbing Bubbles delusions! 🙂
I hate to admit it, but I am almost 32 and have only mailed two packages, I think. Don’t know how that happened, I always mailed letters. Didn’t have too many friends or family who were far away until college time. Even now, I will try and wait until the next time I see someone and give them a gift then, rather than have to send a package. It just seems like so much work and extra expense. So that person in the post office could have been me a few years ago!
Becca – Take Tubby. Really, he’s all yours!
You never-mailing-anything people just amaze me. Of course, my always-mailing-stuff self probably amazes you too. 🙂
Doncha just those looks you get from the guys when they are watching sport or a “guy movie”! They try to polite, but really they are not with you. Their minds are still in the “program”, but they try to play the “dutiful hubby” and give you a condesending smile.
My old man does what Fred did to you, too many times than I care to count. (but…I do go on a bit….and he phases me out….bastard!) 😉
Hey, thanks for the review of the Clorox Teflon stuff… I have been thinking that it sounds like a wonderful idea – but have been wondering just how well it would work. Will definitely have to get some now that it has the Bitchypoo seal of approval (screw the Good Housekeeping seal). 🙂
And for the record, my hubby always does the same thing that Fred does – and all I can do is stare at him increduously and wonder sometimes if he even knows who the hell I am and what I am doing in his house! Men. heehee.
Robyn, I say buy the smiley chair! Fred owes you for all those times he never listened to you. 🙂 It’s not expensive. And it’s such a UNIQUE thing! I say buy it!
Well, if you can find a box big enough for Tubby, I’ll take him! Overnight should work. I’ll even pay shipping! :^)
(I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Although, if I happened to live anywhere near you, and you made that offer, I’d jump at it.)
Becca, I’d happily drive anywhere in the WORLD to deliver Tubby to you, but I’d probably find myself divorced. Fred is very attached to the Tubster. 🙂
You’re giving away Tubby? Mememememememe!
Hiya Bitchy…
Im having to send you a mail to let you know that many of us have fought to keep the teflon out of the clorox…sigh.
Every human in the US now has traces of this nasty chemical in their bodies. All we need is more of it going into all the toilets in the world through this new marketing approach. The 3M Company quit making the ingredents for it several years ago with the Corporate statement, “We can no longer in good concience continue to manufacture these ingredents for teflon.
I spend much time on water issues and environmental concerns and would like to ask you to post a note on this subject on your, now famous, web page!!
This is a serious problem because it seems the teflon poured down the drains may not be able to be filtered from our drinking water even with the most advanced ultra filtration membranes…soooooo
would ya do us all a favor and spread the word?
Many Thanks,
Regards,
Sam Hay