2004-03-10

Eight years ago today, I entered the IRC Undernet channel #!Fredsplace and met the geek who owned and ran the channel, who would eventually become the love of my life.
(Five bucks says that Fred’s sitting there with an “Oh shit” look on his face right now. Heh.)

I guess that, strictly speaking, we’ve only really been together – if by “together” you mean “in the same vicinity for more than a few days at a time” – for more like seven and a half years. I moved to Alabama in August of 1996, but if I hadn’t gone into that channel on March 10th, if I hadn’t started chatting with Fred, if we hadn’t discovered similar interests (reading, the same sense of humor, love of cats), nothing that came after would have happened in quite the same way, so this is the anniversary that’s the most important to me.

When I married the spud’s father, we were never really friends. There was kissing, there was sex, and we made each other laugh often enough that that seemed like enough to base a relationship and a marriage on. Part of the problem with our marriage was that by the time we got married I was two months pregnant, and so we never had a chance to just be married, without the stress of having a kid, a crappy car, and not enough money. That was some overwhelming stress from the very first, and we realized pretty quickly that we were young and stupid and had rushed into this whole marriage thing with no solid foundation By the time we passed our third anniversary, the marriage was all but over. We hung on for another five years – it helped a lot that he was in the Navy and gone for six months at a time – but it wasn’t anything approaching what a marriage should be. We could barely stand the sight of each other, and for five years we slept in the same double-size bed without touching at all.

Is it strange, then, that when I married Fred I had a sinking worry in the back of my mind that the same thing would happen with this marriage?
So I’ve waited for the bitter I-hate-you phase to start. And waited and waited and waited. It hasn’t happened yet, and you know what? I’m thinking maybe it won’t. I’m thinking that since I am married to my best friend, to someone who makes me laugh like no one else, to someone I know without a doubt that I can depend on when times get tough, to someone I know will always and always be there for me, to someone who gets me, that maybe that phase has been kicked out of the realm of possibility.

Look, I’m not saying that our relationship is perfect. We drive each other stark raving bonkers sometimes and I even know who I’m taking with me if we ever got divorced (Spanky and Miz Poo). Relationships are hard work sometimes; they’re meant to be that way, because if through your entire relationship it was nothing but sunshine and daffodils, you’d never know to appreciate it. The hard times make the easy times that much more precious, you know? Even during the difficult times I’d rather be with Fred than any other man on earth. I’d take a day of difficult with Fred over a lifetime of happy, sunny days with any NotFred in existence.

Happy anniversary, baby. And they said it’d never last!

* * *

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was visiting Amy at her home on the ocean (!). It was a weird house, on stilts, about thirty feet up. You had to climb really steep steps to get to the door, and there was a bit of fencing around the landing at the top. I remember quite clearly thinking “I hope Amy doesn’t let Quinn out on the landing by herself. She could really get hurt!” (I’m sure Amy never would, not for a moment) The house was tiny, just one room, and the spud and I had to sleep on the floor.
We had a big bonfire gathering on the beach with tons of people there, including Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil walked off, and I followed him, just in time to see him kill a homeless man and dump his body at the bottom of a pond. However, I couldn’t tell on Dr. Phil, because I was his lawyer (I was on The Practice!) and was his defense lawyer. But I got into Dr. Phil’s car so we could drive to court, and he started getting threatening, so I jumped out of the car (ouch. We were going fast!) and ran away as fast as I could.
This is what happens when I stay up past midnight reading a Dean Koontz book, I guess.
* * *


Miz Poo, high on the kitty pot, shows the Daddy just who the boss is. Meanwhile, the Bean lays next to the stash and vigorously cleans himself.
]]>

32 thoughts on “2004-03-10”

  2. Happy Annivery you 2 lovebirds! Robyn, it’s interesting that the man you didn’t really love shared a bed with you at night, but the man you are desprately in love with doesn’t even share a room with you! Maybe THAT’s the secret??? Just kidding. Have a great day remembering your beginnings and dreaming of your future.

  3. Happy anniversary!!!
    Same thing happened for me. Screw the third time, the second time was the charm for me. I always said if something happened to Drew and I, that I would give up completely on ever being married again!
    Ain’t love grand?

  4. Happy Anniversary, Robyn and Fred! Today is my anniversary, too! Wooo! Love is in the air! (Could I get any more exclamation points!!!!!!!)

  5. Happy Anniversary Robyn & Fred !
    Robyn, I thought what you wrote was really sweet.
    I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been with my husband since I was 16. We married at 17 and we are both 32 now and we have 1 eleven year old son.
    And they (our families & friends) said it would never last either. Ha! We’ve been married for almost 16 years and we’ve known each other for 17 years. And it keeps getting better and better every day :o)
    ~Denise~ A.K.A. Child Bride in Georgia

  7. “…and I even know who I’m taking with me if we ever got divorced (Spanky and Miz Poo). ”
    What, Fred would have to take Spud?? *wink*
    Happy Anniversary!!!

  9. What a nice entry, Robyn. Happy Anniversary.
    Doesn’t the Bean like nip?
    I just added you as a friend at Orkut. You will say you’re my friend, right? I don’t want to be an Orkut reject.

  10. Aw, that was so sweet. 7 1/2 years of togetherness and nobody’s dead yet! Happy Anniversary.
    Am I the only one that thought Miz Poo was hanging in the air?

  11. Well written! I met my hubby on the ol’internet too- obviously, the internet was and is the single best invention ever!
    Congrats to you guys.

  13. Kay R – I say that EXACT same thing!
    Shay – nah, I took it as a given that the spud would go with me. 🙂
    Elle – Of course I’ll say I’m your friend. I snub NO ONE. 😉
    Everyone else: Thanks! (And I was right, Fred did have an “oh shit” look on his face after he read that. Hee!)

  15. Well hi there. Happy anniversary. 🙂 I found your blog because wiccakid from LJ sent me over here. You’re an interesting person indeed; hope you don’t mind if I blogroll you. I grew up just outside of Worcester, Massachusetts. Now I live in Texas, so I’m a Damn Yankee. Feel free to drop by my journal if you like and make yourself an account, and I’ll activate it. 🙂

  16. Awww! Happy Anniversary! Course, now I’m gonna be all snobbish cause I met my husband the old fashioned way — IN A BAR!
    Heh. Youse toose are lucky. Congrats on finding each other.

  17. Congratulations!!! It’s so cool to read about you guys and how great it has worked out for you and how great it keeps getting. It gives me hope. 🙂

  19. Re your dream. I don’t think Koontz’s book had anything to do with it. You just watch too much TV. Meh.

  20. Faye – probably! But no one got killed on American Idol or The Shield last night and someone DID get killed in my Dean Koontz book. 🙂

  21. Happy anniversary!!!
    And Phil (we’re that close) would SO not kill anyone. He’s above that.

  22. Happy IM-anniversary. Mine is August 31, 1996 (met in #Atlanta on IRC). First date was September 6, 1996 and we were married October 17, 1998.
    Cyberspace rules.
    Cheers,
    ~Aly

  23. Happy Anniversary! My co-worker has just joined Yahoo’s dating service, hope it works for her.
    I was wondering the same thing as Elle, does The Bean not like the catnip? I’ve got one like that or he was until the container was left out and the others knocked it down and there was a whole pile for him to get into. He loves it now.

  24. Happy Anniversary.
    I thought of you two in the staff room at work today. Two teachers who had done exchange years in Australia were all excited because they found TimTams in the local supermarket. So if, Frank is having withdrawal problems, we can send him down a case of them from Canada.
    Pat

  25. Katrina & Elle – Good question! Actually, he had had his fill. I think he went after that little pile when he was clean, though.
    And oddly enough, I have a movie that I’m going to put up tomorrow to show just how much he loves the catnip! 🙂

  26. Just to add to everyone else’s sentiments, Happy Anniversary!! I hope I’m as lucky as you two someday and find *that* person, wherever he may be hiding!!

  27. Loved your words on marriage; great timing, ’cause I’m doubting mine at the moment!

  31. Happy Anni, Robyn and Fred!!!
    You made me a little darn misty with your entry…you are one lucky girly!!! 😉

Comments are closed.