2004-05-12

Smart and Sassy yesterday and want to know why your answer wasn’t published today, it’s because we’ve got a million questions in the queue, and we’re answering them in the order in which we received them. We could answer every one of them right now, but that would preclude a life and cut into my valuable “What if I AM going blind?” worry time, and we simply cannot have THAT. So be patient – it may take a while, but we’ll get to you!

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So, the spud was recently asked out on a date with the boy she went to the Homecoming Dance last Fall. She told him yes, and negotiations began as to when exactly The Big Date would take place. In the meantime, he started referring to her as his girlfriend in his Xanga blog. (No, I’m not sharing the link. Do I look that dumb?) There ensued much discussion about what movie they wanted to see, and they decided Van Helsing. Then ensued much more discussion about what time the movie was on – neither of them seemed to understand the concept of logging on to al.com and clicking on the “movie” link to find out the time – and what night they could go. They were going to go this past Saturday, but he had some church function to attend, so they decided on Friday instead. Friday, the spud came home and said “We’re not going on our date tonight. His parents have a group-date policy.” That is, he couldn’t go out on a date unless there was a whole group of people going. Alllllllrighty, then. “Did he not know his parents had this policy before he asked you out?” I asked. She shrugged and rolled her eyes at me for asking such a stupid question, and then went upstairs to IM with him some more. Saturday I was out in the back yard sweeping some grass off the patio, when she came to the door. “The date isn’t going to happen,” she said, eyes red as if she’d been crying. “How come?” I asked. Well, well, WELL. It appears that his parents told him that he couldn’t have a girlfriend who isn’t Christian (ie, attend church regularly) and that he had a choice of “saving” her or breaking up with her. And here’s where I’m really proud of her. She said to him “Then I guess you’d better break up with me.” You know what? Fuck that. “Save” her? Maybe before they start worrying about the immortal soul of a child they’ve never met, they should be a little more concerned that their own child seems to have no grasp of how to use punctuation. Argh. First the child is rejected by a boy’s parents because she’s white, and then by another set entirely because she doesn’t attend church. She’s going to get a complex. What fucking century are we living in, again? I guess this is what we get for living in the Bible Belt, isn’t it?
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It’s not a good time, medically speaking, to be part of the And3rson family. Not only do I have it goin’ on with the potential eye, liver, and skin cancer (Fred: “At least it’s not ass cancer!” Me: “Oh, I’m sure I have that TOO!”), but Miz Poo’s lip, due to constant grooming (which in turn was due to pretty nasty dandruff), had puffed up to twice it’s usual size. Fred took her to the vet Monday. The vet gave her a steroid shot, prescribed an antibiotic for her lip (he thought it might be infected), and gave Fred a bottle of oil to help out with the dandruff. After two days, the dandruff is gone. Also, the lip is back to normal size, and Miz Poo is back to her grouchy self. Yay!
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Attention, Marty and Erin followers: They’re going to be on Dr. Phil not only tomorrow, but also Friday! Will Marty snap and bury Erin in the backyard along with the thirty bodies already there? Tune in and see!!!
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That’s a bird feeder she’s curled up in, by the way. “What?” “Mother, MUST I come kick your ass?” ]]>

28 thoughts on “2004-05-12”

  1. Good for the Spud! She’s learned early that she has to stand up for herself in a relationship. But I’m sorry she got hurt.

  2. OMG, that boyfriend thing… the mom totally reminded me of Lanny’s mother – from the Bachelorette w/Meredith. Glad the spud was saved from that one! 🙂

  3. As the owner of a perpetually dandruffy cat, could you tell me the name of the oil that you got at the vet for Miz Poo? If I could clear up The Bug’s flakeage in a matter of days it would make everyone in my household so much happier.

  4. Go Spud!!!
    But the heartbreak of it all…it’s a good thing she’s got such great support and guidance from you and Fred.

  5. Poor kid. That’s awful. But good for her for standing up for herself and being one of those relationship chameleons who will do/be whatever is necessary to keep a guy; so many girls do that and it’s really sad.

  6. His loss. Spud is a cool kid.
    And do you ever watch “Judging Amy”? Does Amy’s kid look like Spud or does she just look like she could be Robyn’s kid? I was wondering this last night. I might just be on crack though- because I was watching that lame-ass show to begin with.

  7. Sheesh, definitely another reason I’m glad we didn’t end up in Montgomery, AL last year. Can you imagine what my poor children would go through having atheist parents? Ack!
    Sounds like the Spud has a good head on her shoulders. You’ve done a great job raising her!

  8. dude, that last picture of the poo cracks my shit up, the caption fits perfectly!
    As for the spud, that sucks man. When my sister was a freshman, she was going out with this boy named marcus. He was a thug… no way around it. He wore the big starter jackets, belted his pants under his ass (wtf?!) and had homemade tattoos on his hands. His mother, a cocktail waitress at a local dive, and recovering druggie by the way did not like my sister. (honor student who hailed from a two parent DRUG FREE HOME, and, wore clothes that fit her thankyouverymuch.) Marcus’ mom said he could do better than my sister who was nothing but ‘white trash’… hmmm, pot-kettle-black. My parents were thrilled because they hated Marcus, and did everything but ground my sister to keep her from seeing him. People are just fucked up sometimes.

  9. Tell the Spud she has been saved – saved from a relationship with a boy whose parents have shit for brains.

  10. I think MIz Poo was trying to blend in in order to catch the birds when they came to eat. Hee!

  11. Poor Spud.
    Such a cute gal she should NOT be having any of these rejection issues. Please stress to her it is NOT her but them. They definitely have some weirdos there in Alabama that is for sure.
    I am loving the Smart and Sassy series for sure!
    And oh, gee thanks..got me hooked on Dr Phil now too…trainwreck. GAH!!!!

  12. One cannot be “saved” unless they are willing and the person trying to “save” needs to step back and re-evaluate their whole Christian life.
    [Said by a Christian]
    Spud you are fine being who you are, don’t let this bump in the road throw you in the ditch =)

  13. You just tell the spud that there’s worse things in life than being a white heathen. She made a good choice, but I’m sure it still hurts. I feel bad for that boy – his parents are knobs.

  14. Ha! If I were the Spud I would have retorted that this boy could tell his self-righteous mother that he cannot save anyone. If she listened in church she would know that it is not a Christians job to save people…Jesus already filled that position. So there on that. And if the Spud is anything like her mom, she will not have a complex…she will happily go through life making others fully aware that she is perfectly content being the way she is! Tell her I said not to cry and not all Christians are so self-serving.

  15. The Spud ROCKS!!!!! No guy who is more interested in doing his creepy parents’ bidding than in getting to know such a sweet, sassy chick such as herself is worth a second of her time. ROCK ON, SPUD!!!

  16. Know what? At least the Spud has the option of NOT having a relationship with the…erm, “Christian”… Being in Alabama, AND an agnostic (who, shock of it all, was born and bred here)it seems at least 90% of regional people are of the obnoxious sort — pushing their religious views, at all costs. In my case, I have a nephew who has become one of those types, and though I love him as family…sometimes it really, really, REALLY tries my patience to sit through one of his ‘holier-than-thou’ sermons…and his assurance that I will end up in Hell since I am an avowed heathen. Ah well, so it goes…

  17. So um, when I get there, should we start a youth group for kids who aren’t “saved”? They can all run around and be heathens together. They can tell other kids that they can’t date them because their parents won’t let them date kids who go to church and foist religion on others.
    Also, thank you for your emails! So far so good, and hopefully he’ll be carrying his retirement papers home with him for his leave in July. As for Lee High, we thought better of living in that area once I read that an armed drug dealer was arrested in the parking lot and the high school principal was arrested for buying crack.

  18. The same thing happened to my niece when she was in school. A boy asked her to go with him to a school dance – her first date, – but his parents told him he couldn’t go with her because she didn’t attend church. I was forced to attend church every Sunday until I moved out of my parent’s house. I’m sorry, but the experience did nothing to make me a better Christian. I’d say the same goes for many people who stick their asses in a pew for an hour once a week. The physical act of attending church doesn’t prove anything about a person’s true thoughts or beliefs. The boy in question really doesn’t have a choice as long as he is a minor and living with his parents. But I bet this experience makes him think about what his true beliefs are. Tell the spud she is more than worthy to be liked by a boy, but she has to wait for the right one.

  19. SPUD rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good on her for being secure enough in herself to let the boyfriend go!(Ifeel sad for him too, by the way).
    It hurts now, but I promise it WILL get better!!! Lots of boys would LOVE to go out with such a lovely girl:)!!

  20. Let me just say that I think Spud rocks. You can’t start too young standing up for who and what you are, because we are living an era of thinly disguised storm troopers. Witness this entry on a Live journal

  21. When my daughter was the Spud’s age she was very good friends with a girl at school. But her parent’s weren’t pleased because we are not church goers. They got transfered to Toronto with the Bible Society.
    My daughter went to Toronto with a school basketball team and the girl invited her for dinner. It was at the other end of the city but the coach dropped her off with the understanding that the mother would take my daughter back to the hotel.
    When it was time for her to go back, 10 o’clock at night,her mother said that hubby had needed the car for some church thing and she’d have to get herself to the subway! Excuse me, send a 15 year old kid out in the night in a city she doesn’t know, because you’re holier than thou! My daughter called home and asked if she took a taxi if I could put the money back in her account. Thank God for ATM machines.
    Pat

  22. All of this sums up why I do not “attend church regularly”. What kind of twisted thinking puts a church activity above the safety of a child?
    I applaud the Spud for her integrity – so rare at any age, but especially during the teen years.
    -Chris

  23. Way to go, Spud! Robyn, you have a very cool daughter, which I know you already know. Another life lesson learned the hard way: Some people are fuh-REAKS!
    Miz Poo is awfully cool, by the way. Great shots of her in the birdfeeder.

  24. I’ve been reading for years, Robyn, even though I’m not on your notify list. Anyway, I do have an encouraging story for the spud…
    My current husband had a “long-distance” relationship with his first serious girlfriend (they met in person, but lived in different states). This involved many long-distance phone calls, but he finally was able to go visit her for a week. After he had been there a day or two, the girlfriend DUMPED him because her parents were concerned that he wasn’t a Christian… AND he had to spend the rest of the week with them, his heart broken!
    Needless to say, I’m very glad this all “went down”, since I’m married to him. 🙂 So at least she was able to maintain her dignity and will be able to move on from this to a better guy in the future.
    Ironically, he ended up marrying me, a Christian, and now we are both good Baptists. 🙂

  25. Here in big Ole Texas it is quite common to be asked if you go to church and if not, why not? Also you better not admit to not loving Bush or you might be forced out of the neighborhood. It certainly seems to me that many of those preaching and attending the most church are the least Christian of all.

  26. That boy’s parents give all of us Christians a bad name. Two teenagers were going to a movie – how did it become a religious issue?
    Showing up at church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than showing up at a garage makes you a car. I feel sorry for the boy, actually. The Spud is going to be perfectly fine 😉

  27. Rock on Spud! Too many girls don’t stand for what they believe in. I’m glad to see she has a mind of her own. 🙂

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