* * * The spud’s appointment was at 8:15 this morning, and we left the house at 7:45, because I wasn’t sure what the traffic would be like at that time of day. It wasn’t bad at all, so I actually had time to stop and get gas on the way. We got there, I signed the spud in, and we’d no sooner sat down than I looked up and saw Fred’s mother walk through the door. It’s funny how often I’m seeing her lately – I saw her at the mall a few weeks ago, at the pet store last Monday, and now at the doctor’s office. She was coming in for a checkup, and we talked for a few minutes before she was called back. It took all of about two minutes for them to draw the spud’s blood, and we were at the school by 8:30. I hadn’t checked her in or out before, so I wasn’t sure if I could just park by the sign that said “Student check in/out” or if I needed to park in the parking lot. I circled the parking lot for several minutes, concluded there was no way in hell I was going to find a parking space, and pulled up next to the sign. I accompanied the spud inside, and had the misfortune to be behind a VERY talky looking man and his daughter or niece or something. The spud and I stood patiently by while the man chattered at the school employees for several minutes and then my head exploded, scattering brain matter everywhere. Very messy. When Chatty McShutTheFuckUp was on his way, we stepped into the office and I discovered that I needed to get a doctor’s note for the spud. And if I’d had doctor’s note for her, I could have just dropped her off with the note and not had to come inside. Good to know for next time, I guess. So I signed her in and was on my way. Luckily I have a doctor’s appointment at 9:45 at the same office, so it won’t be a big deal to get a doctor’s note. Because if I had to make a special trip, I wouldn’t be a happy camper. Not that I’m a happy camper anyway, but you know what I mean.
“You. Come. Rub mah belly.”