this test and see how long you’re going to live! Fred’s supposed to kick off around the age of 85, and I’ll be following him at the age of 86.
Since he’s a year older than me, that’ll give me two years to theatrically take to my bed and waste away. Sounds about right.
* * *
I love this
50 States project. I sent in a picture from
Maine and one from
Alabama. I need to look through my picture folders and find a Tennessee and a Florida.
The
Montana picture just blows me away and makes me want to pack up and move there NOW.
* * *
Remember the
creepy zombie eyes from Monday? Sadly, they’re much less creepy and zombie-like today.
There’s still some red and yellow, but it’s not nearly as bad as Monday. I kinda miss my zombie eyes. Not enough to go through the whole thing again though, believe you me.
Oh man, check out the grays on my head.
I had a hair appointment two weeks ago, but I ended up canceling it because sitting around having my hair done for almost two hours just bores the shit out of me. I didn’t realize the roots were getting so bad, though, so I bought a box of L’Oreal Medium Golden Brown, and I’m going to make Fred help me color my hair this weekend.
Yes, I need help, because I have difficulty coloring my own hair. This surprises you?
* * *
I’m fairly sure that Fred has set up a spycam somewhere in the house – maybe even in multiple locations. Every day I head out to the garage and set up my weights or my stuff to do a FIRM video, and without fail, every single time I’m about to begin lifting weights or turn on the video, the phone rings. I stop what I’m doing and run in to answer the phone, because you never know when it’s going to be an emergency call from the school, or something big is going on that he wants to tell me about.
Me (gasping for air): Hello?
Fred: Hey. Whatchoo doing?
I thought about not answering the phone, but I don’t think I’m capable of such an action. Maybe I need to turn it off so I can’t hear it from the garage.
He’s obviously moved the spycam from it’s position by the bathroom, because he used to call EVERY single time I was in the bathroom or about to step into the shower, but he hasn’t done that in a while.
Oh, wait. He called as I was about to step into the shower this morning. I guess there must be two spycams – one in the bathroom, one in the garage.
Bastard.
* * *
I’m sad to say that our days of Nekkid! German! Men! are coming to a close, because I’m all tapped out on pictures. If I get any more in the future, I’ll be sure to share. Today, two pictures! One almost normal, the other much less so. And we bid adieu to our favorite naked German, AKT.
Goldi poses in his favorite white sweatpants. Such a nice boy.
AKT does “pensive.” (click on the picture for the uncensored version)
* * *
How come Steak-Out sends packets of saltines with their salads? Do people generally eat crackers with salad? Am I missing out because I’m not a saltines lover? Do saltines just add that certain
je ne sais quoi to salads, or what?
And am I a freak for wanting a sirloin chef salad from Steak-Out for lunch when I could have had anything in the whole wide world? DAMN that’s a good salad.
* * *
Possible Survivor spoilers below; skip to the next section if you haven’t seen it yet.
Survivor ROCKED last night, didn’t it? I spent the first five or ten minutes giggling because I knew what was going to happen at the beginning.
I’ve already taken a liking to
Rupert (how could you not?) and the uber-geeky
Ryan S, not to mention
Sandra. At this point, Drake seems to have their shit together far more than Morgan (I mean, god in heaven. They had MONEY LEFT OVER, how stupid can you possibly be?), and when Rupert stole the shoes from Morgan, who were total dumbasses to leave their stuff unguarded, I about fell off the couch. Mark Burnett had to be cackling with glee when he saw that.
I’m not sure whether I like
Osten or not, but there’s no denying he has the best body of any of them, and it was nice of Mark Burnett to give us some eye candy.
Fred thinks
Tijuana looks a lot like
Heidi from last season. I think that
Nicole is a dead ringer for
Lindsey from
Survivor: Africa.
And did I mention that I loved loved LOVED the beginning?
* * *
Spanky gives The Momma a disgusted look. Spanky’s big pink lips crack me up.
This is Tubby yawning…
This is Tubby “Meh”ing. Kind of hard to tell the difference, isn’t it?
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AKT does “pensive.” (click on the picture for the uncensored version)