So, the lottery referendum didn’t pass. Hmph.

Donald Trump is thinking about running for President; you’ve heard about that, right? I followed a link from Fresh Hell (I’m behind in my journal reading as well as my magazine reading), and read a short article on the whole Trump situation. To quote my favorite paragraph from the article:

Under the headline, “America Needs a President Like Me,” Trump wrote last week in The Wall Street Journal that he is considering a run because, “I don’t hear anyone speaking for the working men and women in the center.”

Yeah. Donald Trump can speak for the working men and women of America. Uh-huh. Gee, wasn’t he born rich? Call me ignorant, but if I want someone speaking for me, I’d prefer it to be someone who’s been a working man or woman, and don’t lecture me on how difficult it is to be a billionaire. Someone who had to work at McDonald’s through high school and perhaps some of college. Have I mentioned that I loathe Donald Trump? I have a knee-jerk tendency to dislike men who dump their wives of many years for a parade of bimbos. Burt Reynolds? Grrrr. He handled that whole situation with about as much finesse as you could possibly expect from a sleazy motherfucker like that. Now, there’s a political ticket the world is looking for! President Trump and VP Reynolds.


Heard about Patrick Naughton, a VP at Infoseek? He’s 32-ish, a was arrested some weeks ago for travelling from the Seattle area to LA with the intent to have sex with a 13 y3ar-old he’d met online. He was arrested because the 13 y3ar-old was actually an FBI special agent. This (link removed) is the affidavit of the FBI agent. I have to ask: Just how goddamn stupid do you have to be to believe anyone on the internet is who they claim to be? I’d like to believe they’ll toss Naughton in jail and throw away the key, but no doubt he’ll get off with a slap on the wrist to victimize more 13 y3ar-olds, this time in person. It’s not like 13 y3ar-old girls are important or anything. (Note: I’m using a "3" instead of an "e" in "13 y3ar-old girls", because I’m tired of the pervy google hits).

I certainly am bitching a lot today, aren’t I?

Well, on to the Stee survey. Because I know you just can’t get enough information about memeME.

1. Would you rather look gorgeous and be retarded, or look retarded and be a genius?: Look retarded, be a genious.

2. If you could bitchslap one actor/actress, who would it be?: Burt Reynolds. If you could call him an "actor".

3. If you could bitchslap one musician, who would it be?: Marilyn Manson (Ooh! Look at me! I’m such a bad boy!)

4. If you could bitchslap one relative, who would it be?: Oh, please.

5. If you had to make-out with one relative, who would it be?: None of them. Just the thought gives me the willies. I’m sure it would give them the willies too.

6. You see a spider on your wall, what do you do?: Squish it with a piece of paper or a tissue, and either flush it or toss it in the trash (but you run the risk that it will come back to life and hunt you down and crawl on you).

7. Washing your privates in the shower: the lean or the fast hand-o’-water transfer?: Neither. I have a detachable shower head.

8. David Blaine or David Copperfield?: Godalmighty, no more magicians. Fred adores all forms of magic, and I’m tired of watching it.

9. You need to do laundry desperately, do you wear dirty underwear or no underwear?: The laundry gets done every Saturday, thank you very much, so I’m never short on underwear. I do spend Sundays commando, though.

10. Julia Roberts: growing more and more beautiful or more and more odd-looking?: She’s gawjuss.

11. Favorite cussword/phrase?: Godalmighty. Fuck, in it’s many forms (motherfucker, fuck that, fucking piece of shit, fuck this fucking fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!)

12. Letterman or Leno?: Leno. He’s nicer to his guests. I’m tired of Letterman’s bitter-old-man routine.

13. Scientologists: quietly creepy or totally wacko?: Creepy.

14. Siegfried or Roy?: I’m not sure which is which.

15. What do you desire sexually that you’re too embarrassed to ever request?: Please. I’m so repressed I don’t know what I desire sexually that I’m too embarrassed to ever request. And if I knew, would I tell you? I think not.

16. Maria Conchita Alonso or Rae Dawn Chong?: Maria Conchita Alonso.

17. Gayest cartoon character: Mickey Mouse or Christopher Robin?: Ricky Martin.

18. You’re depressed: do you drink, cover your pain with humor, or take it out on the person closest to you?: The second and third options.

19. Favorite Sutherland: Kiefer or Donald?: I don’t like either. They creep me out.

20. Favorite Corey: Haim, Feldman, or Hart?: Hart. I saw him in concert.

21. Mary-Kate or Ashley?: Both. Kill them both.

22. Do you spend a lot of time surfing the Net because you’re scared of people, or because people are scared of you?: I’m not scared of people, I just don’t care for them in large numbers. Unless they’re reading my journal.

23. What do you sing instead of "pompatus of love" in Steve Miller’s "The Joker"?: I don’t sing along to that song.

24. Best bets in a "death pool" (pick 3): Andy Dick, Robert Downey Jr., Nell Carter, ex-Pogue Shane McGowan, Ronald Reagan, rock group Hanson, Salmon Rushdie, Bob Hope, John Popper, Scott Weiland, Mr. T, golfer John Daly, or that girl from Blossom?: Nell Carter, John Popper, and Andy Dick. Always bet on the fat people and the freaks. (I’m fat, so I’m allowed to call them fat. Sizes 16 and under are not.)

25. It’s 4pm, your husband calls from work to say he’s bringing his boss over for dinner! What do you prepare?: Nothing. My husband is my boss, and he’d never ever ever bring his partners to our house to socialize.

26. Is a dart board really such a bad wedding gift?: Yeah. They might like it.

27. Your ass or your elbow?: My ass. I have a shelf-ass. You could park the entire Stephen King library on my ass, with room to spare. I make myself sound mighty attractive, don’t I?

28. Favorite Wu-Tang Clansman?: Uh…?

29. Will Billy Idol ever make a successful comeback?: He did, in "The Wedding Singer." That’s the biggest comeback he’ll be making, I think.

30. Let’s just say you’re walking home drunk very late from a bar in Madison Wisconsin last week and you see a hundred dollar bill on the ground so you pick it up. A minute later, a very anxious-looking hippies comes by, searching all over the street for something, muttering about "not being able to pay rent". Are you like totally going to hell if you kept the money, planning to spend it at a titty bar in Vegas this weekend?: Unfortunately, I am incredibly paranoid, and if the above situation happened to me, I’d assume 20/20 or 60 minutes was doing some sort of expose ("How honest are drunk people late at night in Madison Wisconsin? Next, with Stone Phillips!") with hidden cameras, and I’d fall all over myself to give the money to the guy.