I’m soooooo tired. Fred and I stayed up late last night (11:30! My god, will the insanity never stop?!?!?) and I had to get up at 6:30 to get ready to attend the spud’s game. I tried taking a nap this afternoon, but Spanky was in his "I love my Mama" mood, and kept climbing up on me to purr in my ear and touch my face with his cold paw. So I got up and watched the "The Bold and the Beautiful" episodes I taped this week. Yes, I know it’s cheesy. But I just love that Brooke Logan Forrester. She’s such a ho-bitch, and I can’t get enough of her. What I can get enough of is her new slicked-back ‘do. And that awful Macy. Keep being smug, Macy. You think you’ve won the fight for Thorne, but you’re wrooooooooooooooong. HA. And what’s up with Ridge and Eric being so holier-than-thou? I don’t recall everyone insisting Ridge give Brooke up because his Momma didn’t like it; why can they insist Thorne give her up for such a lame-ass reason?

Ahem. ::blush:: Anyway.

The spud’s team lost their soccer game today, with a score of 3-0. The spud could care less. We’re all just anxious for the damn soccer season to end so we can have our weekends back. When she played soccer last year, her team won every game they played, and then won the city tournament games, so had to continue on to the area tournaments. Soccer didn’t end until near the end of November. Boy, weren’t we sick of the soccer by then.

I applied for an AmSouth credit card a couple of weeks ago because they were giving free t-shirts to anyone who filled out an application. I filled it out, knowing there was no way I’d get a card from them. I have horrid credit; while I was married to the ex, we filed for bankruptcy. Bad, bad, bad with money we were. Proving me wrong, I received an AmSouth card in the mail yesterday.

With a $2,000 limit.

Are they nuts?? Obviously they didn’t even do a cursory background check on me. At least now I can cancel my secured $300 limit credit card that charges, like, 21% interest. I’ll just carry this new card around with me in case there’s an emergency. Uh huh.

I’m kinda bummed. For the last two or three months, I’ve been ordering our weekly groceries online from Kroger. It’s been great; an hour with the program on Thursday mornings, and they arrive that evening between 5:30 and 7:00. The woman who picks out our food at Kroger has been doing a kick-ass job picking out meat and veggies for us, and the delivery charge is only $9.95. I’ve been saving easily twice that, because if I’m not in the store, I can’t make impulse purchases. Last week, they informed us that they weren’t getting enough customers shopping online, so it wasn’t worth it for them to continue. Which means I have to go back to going grocery shopping myself. Damn them!

So here are my answers to Mike’s survey:

1. Would you take the fall for a crime committed by a sibling or parent?: Hell, no.

2. What’s your favorite picnic food?: Fried chicken, hamburgers, potato salad, chips.

3. What television show did you like that got canceled way too soon?: My So-Called Life.

4. Ever get caught picking your nose?: When I was in 6th grade, I got caught by Sandy, who announced it to the class. Bitch. I hope she’s having a hellish life. AND last year I was digging for gold and Fred walked quietly into the room and caught me at it. I am currently extremely careful when picking.

5. By which school picture are you most embarrassed?: It’s not a school picture. It’s a picture of me when I was in 8th grade and taking ballet lessons, and I was posing for a picture. Whenever Fred sees it, he hums "No Rain" by Blind Melon (you’ll recall the chunky little girl in the bumblebee outfit from that video). I’m also pretty embarrassed by the original bitchypoo picture.

6. What was your first computer?: A 386 something or other. I bought it from my friend’s husband for $50.

7. What are you completely and irrationally stubborn about?: Neither Fred nor I can come up with an answer to this, so I’m going to have to say I’m always the voice of reason.

8. You’re offered the political appointment of your choosing. What job do you take?: Queen of the World.

9. How would you like to die?: In my sleep, with no pain, and before Fred.

10. You get to plan your own funeral. Who speaks? Who sings? How do you get sent off?: After a small, intimate funeral service, Fred boards a boat in Portland Harbor. He takes the boat miles out to sea, and scatters my ashes over the ocean to the strains of "Tears in Heaven." Then he motors back to shore and spends the rest of his life mourning me.

11. You and a date finish an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant and discover the waiter has charged you for only one lobster. Do you a) point out the mistake. b) keep quiet and leave a huge tip. c) quickly pay the tab and leave.: First of all, that’s one dumb-ass waiter, charging us for only one lobster when we ordered at least five. But I’d probably point out the mistake. I wouldn’t want to, but my paranoid self would believe 60 minutes or 20/20 was doing an expose on honesty in restaurants.

12. To whom are you most likely to lend money? a relative, a friend, a business partner, or the author of this survey.: I’ll most likely lend money to most anyone who asks, if it’s not too much. If it’s like $100, I’d most likely only lend it to Fred, Debbie, or Liz. Or my parents, of course. Or the spud.

13. Ever changed your website just so you could join a ring?: Nope, but I would.

14. Ever written on a special topic, just so you could qualify for a web award?: Not yet!

15. Ever submitted your own site for a web award?: Nope, and never would.

16. Ever offered a web award of your own conception?: Nope.

17. What’s your favorite flavor of toaster pastry?: PopTarts S’mores

18. Ever paid one credit card with another one?: Hell yes. Not recently, though.

19. Ever been hoopsnaked by a home equity loan ad?: Nope.

20. To what magazines do you currently subscribe?: Oh, let’s see if I can remember them all. People, Entertainment Weekly, Marie Claire, Jane, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Cosmo, Woman’s World, Redbook, First for Women, New Woman, Ladies’ Home Journal, Playboy. I think there’s more, but I don’t recall them at the moment.

21. What’s your guilty pleasure?: S’mores, made in the microwave.

22. What do you do that you do not enjoy simply for appearance’s sake?: Color my hair, pluck my eyebrows.

23. Have you ever taken out a singles ad?: Nope.

24. Have you ever lied in a singles ad?: See #23.

25. When was the last time you bounced a check?: Three years ago, maybe.

26. Have you ever camped out for concert tickets? If so, for which concert?: Nope.

27. What’s the most embarrassing name ever given to you by a significant other?: I’ve never been given an embarrassing name by a S.O.

28. Ever played truth or dare in an effort to get into someone’s pants?: Nope.

29. Did you have sex in high school?: Nope.

30. What’s your favorite drinking game?: I’ve never played a drinking game.

31. What bad habits do you have that no one is supposed to know about?: Popping zits. Don’t get me started on how great it is.

32. Are you completely honest in situations where your name isn’t used?: Sure; why not?

33. Ever urinated in public?: Nope. Never quite mastered the squat.

34. Which celebrity would you most like to see drop off the face of the Earth?: Burt Reynolds. God I loathe his stupid fucking ass. Denise Richards, too. Oh, and Angelina Jolie.

35. Which celebrity would you most like to bring back from the dead?: Rex Harrison. Oh, wait, it’s just his career that’s dead.

36. If you found out who really killed JFK, who would you tell first?: Fred, and then the whole world.

37. What’s your favorite comic strip?: For Better or Worse.

38. What was the last thing you purchased at Wal-hypen-Mart? When was that?: Stuffed mice for the cats to play with, a lazy susan for the kitchen table, Conceptrol (contraceptive gel), Astro-Glide, 8 green hand towels, cookie dough, pistachios. That was this morning.

39. If you were afforded the opportunity to sleep with one of your friends, who would it be?: Two of my friends are women, and I’m married to the other. Besides, I’m still a newlywed. I’m not looking elsewhere yet, for chrissake.

40. To what superstition do you most adhere?: None of ’em.

41. Elevators or escalators?: Escalators.

42. How many justices of the US Supreme Court can you name? No cheating (there are nine): Ruth Bader Ginsburg, David Souter, Clarence Thomas. Fuck if I can remember anyone else.

43. What is the name of your congressman? (or similar government representative for those living outside the US and not in some fascist country that doesn’t have a representational government): Bud Cramer. Isn’t that a great Southern, redneck name?

44. What are you a big old geek about?: "The Bold and the Beautiful." I don’t know why, but I love that show.

45. Who makes you laugh?: Fred. The spud. Liz and Debbie, too, but Fred most often.

46. Have you ever been in a band? If so, what was it called?: No, but if I were in a band, I’d call it ToeJam. Or ButtDust. Bitchypoo works, too.

47. Herbivore, carnivore, or omnivore?: Omnivore.

48. When playing tic tac toe, which square do you always fill in first? Do you prefer "X" or "O"?: X in the upper left corner.

49. Does the time 4:20 have any significance for you?: Nope.

50. What was the biggest prize you ever won?: $1000 in the Maine Megabucks lottery. And a big ol’ geeky computer programmer in Alabama