Jolene‘s notify list, and whenever I get a notify email from her, I sing – loudly, proudly, and badly – Dolly Parton’s "Jolene." Let the stampede to unsubscribe from my notify list begin. My period started early this month – as in, it usually starts Wednesday between 10 am and noon, it’s been like that for four years, except those few months last year when I went off the pill, and it started Tuesday night instead – and I am all a-twitter to find out what exactly this means. Will it still keep going until Saturday afternoon, as usual, or will it end a day early? The thrills and chills around here just never stop, folks. So, I was in the shower this morning – practically this afternoon, ’cause I didn’t get around to showering ’til after 11! I’ll discuss why later, but really, let’s get back to the topic, shall we? – happily lathering up my hair. Lather, lather, lather. Ah, smell the lovely coconut scent, such a happy, lovely scent it is indeed. But – what’s this? I feel a lump in my hair. I pull the somewhat furry lump from my hair and bring it to eye level so that I might see it clearer. It was a spider. A DEAD spider. A DEAD SPIDER IN MY HAIR, PEOPLE! I’m not too proud to admit that I jumped, squealed loudly (and not a happy squeal, either), and flung the dead spider away from me as hard as I could. It hit the shower wall about waist-high (my waist, that is. Well, if I HAD a waist) and then just kind of hung there. When I was done doing the "HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN THERE WAS A DEAD SPIDER IN MY HAIR, A DEAD SPIDER, A DEAD SPIDER! SCREAM!" dance, I grabbed the detachable shower head and sprayed it down the drain. What perturbs me the most is that I have NO idea where the damn thing came from. Did it die in my hair in the night and then hang there all morning long as I exercised? If so, it had one hell of a grip for a dead thing. Did it fall from somewhere as I was cleaning the kitchen and living room? Was it on the shower head? WHERE did the fucking thing come from??? Is this the kind of thanks I get for scooping up that little bitty spider that was crawling along the wall over my desk yesterday and tossing it outside instead of killing it? I just know I’m going to have nightmares. I think I’m going to go shave my hair off. ::Shudder::]]>
08/25/2000