Wish you Were Here when Fred Durst and the Goo Goo Dolls guy (and whoever else was out there) sang it. I was shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you. I thought everyone knew that song. I stared at him in surprise and then said “That’s Pink Floyd! I can’t believe you don’t know that song. I think it was on the same album as Mother.” He didn’t know Mother, either. What kind of planet has the man been living on? “The only Pink Floyd song I know is the we don’t need no education one,” he said. So I killed him and buried his body in the back corner of the yard. Next spring I’ll plant a lilac bush there, and it will be the best-fertilized lilac bush you’ve ever seen. At the end of the telethon when the whole crowd of ’em sang together (and lordy, what planet was Goldie Hawn on? Did she look high as a kite, or what?), before they zoomed in so that you could see who was leading the sing-along, I thought to myself, “Good god in heaven, is that MARILYN MANSON there in front of the microphone, going to lead Hollywood in a sing-along?” It was Willie Nelson. A common mistake, I’m sure. I LOATHE it when Mariah does that shrieky squealy shit like she was doing toward the end of the song. GRRRR. Like I told Fred, I LIKE her voice, until she busts out with the shrieks, and then I want her dead. Enrique Iglesias (son o’ Julio!) is pretty cute, isn’t he? They’ve been playing that song all over the radio stations ’round here, often with WTC-related dialogue in the instrumental parts. Of course, I didn’t know who he was until I asked the spud. “That’s Enrique,” she said with supreme confidence, after taking a moment to roll her eyes heavenward and wonder Why did you have to saddle me with such old, uncool, unhip, know-nothing parents, god? Why oh why? You know you’re getting old when you have to ask a 12 year-old girl who’s on the TV.]]>