Friday night, Fred and the spud were watching some Jean-Claude Van Doofus movie, and apparently (I’m not completely clear on this point, because I was sitting in front of the computer, surprise surprise!) some model-looking chickypoo who was supposed to be a prostitute came on the screen, and Fred jeered and guffawed at the thought that such a clean, pretty thing would actually be a hooker, and so of course what do you suppose the spud asked?

"Well, what DO hookers look like?"

So Fred went to the St. Paul, Minnesota’s Prostitution page and printed out their Wanted! list so that the spud might see what real prostitutes really look like. You know, when you think about educating your children, that’s just not the sort of thing that immediately comes to mind.

(For the record, her verdict was that the real-life prostitutes were "creepy".)

I get to take Fancypants to the vet today since, we decided, if he’s going to be out roaming the damn neighborhood, he needs to be current on his shots. (Hee! I almost typed "shits" instead of "shots". Trust me, if the pile NEXT to the litter box this morning can be any indication, he’s QUITE current on his shits) I also bought him a collar and tag at PetSmart on Friday, but when the time came to put it on him, we found that it was way too big for him. Fancypants, being a rather skinny cat, has a corresponding skinny neck, and though we tried putting the collar on him on the last hole, it was still way too big for him. My fancy cat, the pencil-neck geek… Anyway, I guess it’s back to PetSmart for me, which is fine with me, ’cause I can get another bag of their ultra-potent organic catnip. I bought a bag Friday, and we emptied about half the bag into an old sock, and the cats have been going nuts over it ever since, taking turns wildly licking the sock and then falling into drug-induced dazes whereupon they use the sock as a pillow. Very fond of the sock, they are. When I visit PetSmart again, I’ll buy another bag of the stuff, put it in a tupperware container, and put their 98,249 toy mice in with the catnip, and let them marinate for a few weeks.

Ah, drug fun in the Anderson household.

How’s that time change treating you? I love the fact that it’s light earlier in the morning, but hate that it’s dark earlier in the evening. I mean, full-on dark at 5:00 just isn’t something I look forward to. Regardless of the temperature outside, the early darkness makes it seem wintry and cold. If it were light outside from, say, 5:30 am to 7 pm year-round, that’d be aces with me. And when I’m queen of the world, I’ll make it so. I don’t know HOW – maybe make the hours shorter, or less hours in the day? – but it’ll happen.

Never doubt Queen Bitchypoo.