Thanks for all your emails about yesterday’s entry. I’m not going to respond to them, because I’m already a week behind in my emailing, and I don’t want to get further behind. So consider this a blanket "thanks", and know that I appreciate each and every one of them!

Y’all seem like a hip and happenin’ crowd. Explain to me what a "man with the bling-bling" would have, exactly? Is that a sex thing? Inquiring minds need to know…

And while you’re helping me out, sometime in the past 5 years I read a book – fiction – where a mother and her two children were kidnapped, possibly from a school parking lot, and locked in a room in the kidnapper’s basement. The man periodically raped the mother, and at one point took the youngest daughter off, claiming he would release her, but he didn’t. Is this striking a chord with any of y’all? For some reason I’m wanting to read it again. I’m fairly certain it’s a detective novel, but can’t think of which detective or what novel, and it’s driving me buggy. Help?

Okay, one more plea for help. When I was taking a Lit class about eight years ago, I read a poem written from the perspective of the frog who turned into a prince when the princess kissed him, and it was about his longing for the pond from whence he came. Come on, help me out, here – it’s driving me nuts. I’m dying to read it again.

Amazon is driving me NUTS with the freakin’ pop-up ads. I hit that fucking site 15 times a day to check out a book or movie, or to find out the status on an order I’ve placed, and every damn time they hit me with a pop-up ad. I HATE THOSE THINGS. If anything were to make me switch loyalties from Amazon to some other online book store, it’d be those ads. Do you hear me, Jeff Bezos?

I stood in line for more than 20 minutes at the post office this morning. I got there 10 minutes after it opened, and there were only 4 people in line ahead of me, and one verrrry slow postal worker behind the counter. One woman got so annoyed that she stormed out with her package, yelling "This is ridiculous!" Which doesn’t solve the fact that she needed to mail her package – she’s going to have to go back sooner or later – but I’m sure was quite satisfying in the short run.

I was perfectly fine waiting in line though, because I had a cheesy romance-type novel to keep me busy. I carry a paperback in my purse at all times just in case of such a wait, and I highly recommend cheesy romance-type novels with simple plots that you can get right back in to even if it’s been weeks since you last picked up the book.

So, I was reading yet another US last night, and I ran across this picture:

And I don’t know about y’all, but all I could think was "What the fuck?" What the fuck was going through her head when she left the house dressed like that? Did she look herself over in the full-length mirror and say "Yeahhhhh, man, I’m lookin’ fine!" ? Did she notice that she wasn’t apparently wearing any pants? Or is she – who the hell can tell? And to top it off with the hat and the stiletto boots – did she even look at herself before leaving the house, or did she let someone’s blind grandmother dress her?

Ah, the mysteries of the world.

So I got the new scanner hooked up last night, and immediately had to scan the spud’s face, because that’s the kind of abusive mom I am.

And she went along with it ’cause that’s the kind of easygoing spud she is. Looks kinda cool, doesn’t it? Perhaps next time I’ll have her not smush her face down quite so hard.

I can’t get "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" out of my head. Make it stop, mommy…