As wonderful as the spud is, there’s something she does that just Drives. Me. Nuts. She’ll say, out of the blue, something like "Did you put the thing in the thingy?", and when you have NO CLUE what she’s talking about, she acts like you’re the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.


And further, when you pump her for information, trying to figure out what she’s talking about, she does a lot of eye-rolling and hand-flailing before she comes out with some inane bit of information that barely makes any sense.

And FURTHER, when she IS able to form a complete sentence, she manages to get at least one part of it completely wrong. Here’s an example of a conversation that took place yesterday afternoon shortly after she got home from school.

Spud: "Are we going to the thingy?"

Me: "What thingy?"

Spud (after much eye-rolling and heavy sighing): "The booster thingy at the school. It’s on Tuesday May 16th."

Me: "Well, today is Tuesday May 14th. Thursday is May 16th. I don’t think there’s going to be another May 16th on a Tuesday for a few more years, and I don’t think I have anything planned yet. And I don’t know what a booster thingy is." (Thinking to self: "Is it time for her vaccination booster shots or something?")

Spud (eye-rolling, hand-flailing, digging around on my desk for a piece of paper): "The Academic Booster Night. On Tuesday May 14th."

Spud (looking at me like I’m a big damn dumbass): "The Booster thingy -"


So we DID go to the PTA/ Academic Booster night – Your child is being honored for having maintained all A’s and/ or A/ B’s for this school year! claimed the lying letter they sent home with the spud – and you know what the "honoring" consisted of? Having the kids stand up so everyone could clap for them. Did they read off the names? NO. Did they hand out certificates? NO. Bastards. That damn PTA. I will NOT be suckered in again by them, damnit!

I am seriously in the throes of PMS, and want to eat everything in sight. I made Fred take my keys and purse to work with him (in the back of his Jeep) so that I couldn’t hit the store and the fast food places and buy a bunch o’ junk to shove in my face. If I were desperate enough, I could steal money out of the big jug we throw all our change in and walk to the store (or ride my bike), but I exercised pretty hard this morning and spent almost three hours cleaning, and all I feel like doing is sitting on my ass on the couch and reading, and possibly even snuggling with the Poo and taking a nap.

Which I think I’ll go do right now. Right after I share some pics with you – because I know you can’t get enough.

"Hm, whuh? Did you say something, Mom?"

Aren’t these some purty petunias?