June 25, 2002

Sarah bugs the SHIT out of me, something about her face or her hair – and Fred stares intently at the screen. “He’s not making very many eggs,” he says finally. “It’s those skinny people,” I say. “They hardly ever eat anything. I don’t know how they stay alive.” Fred smirks appreciatively, and then I see what he’s talking about. Johnny is scrambling MAYBE one egg. One egg for the two of them. Obviously, we pay attention to the important things. I went to see the Ya-Ya movie yesterday like I’d planned. It was pretty good, although I’ll say that I don’t remember them saying “Ya-ya!” every six seconds in the book, and it was a tad goofy. The movie theater was packed with about 20 women in their 60s if not older, and 20 girls around 16 or so. I was the sole representative of the mid-30s crowd. And can I just say, the other people in the theater had a serious case of Ants in the Pants, because ALL THROUGH the fucking movie, seats all around were creaking constantly. creakcreakCREAKCREAKcreak I’m starting to remember why I prefer renting movies and watching them at home. No annoying strangers. And of course, sitting directly behind me were three elderly women, one of whom was having a REALLY hard time following the movie. During a very sad scene, she said to her friend, “Why did she say that?” The woman bellowed “BECAUSE WHEN HE WAS GOING IN THE SERVICE, HIS FATHER TOASTED HIM WITH CHAMPAGNE, AND SHE THINKS IT’S HIS FAULT FOR ENCOURAGING HIM.” Goddamn. Can you imagine how thrilled I was? And this went on through most of the movie. “I THINK SHE’S ABOUT TO CRACK, LIKE IN THE BOOK!” I finally got up and moved closer to the screen, but I could still hear the old battleaxe. Y’know, that’s just SO FUCKING ANNOYING. If you’re going to the movies and you’re GOING to bellow through the whole fucking thing, DON’T SIT DIRECTLY BEHIND SOMEONE SO THAT YOU CAN RUIN THEIR MOVIEGOING EXPERIENCE AS WELL. Fuckers. I did come to a conclusion while watching the movie, though. No one can say “goddamn” like a southern woman can. Give it up, you yankees. Oh, wait. I’m a yankee, aren’t I? Goddamn. I think I’m the exception.]]>