2003-07-08

Meg, who made not only the one above, but also a second one, which will be up in a future month. Thank you to everyone who heeded my cry for help. Y’all rock, you really do.

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I forgot to mention yesterday that one of the things that REALLY pissed me off about the hotel is that, after we’d checked out, I perused the statement they gave us, and I discovered that they’d charged us $1 a day for the room safe. WHICH WE DID NOT USE, SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE IT WAS A BUCK A DAY, AND I CAN THINK OF BETTER THINGS (FUDGEFUDGEFUDGE) TO SPEND A BUCK ON! Clarion Inn & Suites, 1100 Parkway, Gatlinburg, TN. DON’T STAY THERE, PEOPLE!
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I weighed myself an hour ago. I gained three pounds in Gatlinburg. THREE pounds – and I’m retaining water like a motherfucker due to PMS and sore muscles. Do motherfuckers retain water? I suppose they must. Everyone does at one point or another, I think. I am amazed that I only gained three pounds, because the amount of fudge that went in my mouth was staggering. It was a heartbreaking work of staggering fudginess, is what it was. Fred said “I feel like wherever we go in Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, we stop and get half a pound of pecan fudge.”, and that was pretty much the way it was. Here a fudge, there a fudge, everywhere a fudgefudge. This really belongs over in the weight loss journal, but I have to watch my language over there, and it gets tiresome. I just don’t love the weight loss journal the way I love this one. Three pounds! Three pounds! Plus, if I posted over there that I’d gained three pounds (and trust me, people – this is not real weight. This weight is from the water I’m retaining and the crappy food still wending it’s way through my system. This three pounds will be gone in the next week as I get back to eating right and moving my ass, I guar-on-tee it) I’d get a bunch of preachy emails. You won’t send me preachy emails, will you? Emails telling me to eat more/ less protein, more/ less carbs, that sugar is the devil, that I should stop drinking Diet Coke, that the dollop of ketchup I have every so often is the entire reason I haven’t lost any weight? Heh. I’m bitching about my weight loss journal behind it’s back! I hope it doesn’t do a Google search and find this entry! It might say nasty things in it’s entries about this journal, and start a flame war! Three pounds. Whee! I’m probably the only one you know who’s glad to have gained three pounds. Because three pounds ain’t ten, is why I’m happy.
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On our last evening in Gatlinburg, after we ate dinner, we were walking back to our (crappy) hotel. I saw a store that looked like my kinda store, and so I told Fred I wanted to check it out. As soon as I walked through the door, I saw a big display with tons of bath bombs, in different scents and colors. I headed for them immediately, for I am helpless in the face of yummy-smelling bath stuff. I sniffed a couple of the bath bombs, and thought about buying a few so that I could take a bath when we got back to the (crappy-ass) hotel. And then I saw the price. Seven fucking dollars and ninety-fucking-nine cents. $7.99. For a bath bomb. I was so aghast that I actually went out and dragged Fred inside so that he could see the price. And also because I was sure that if I told him the price later, he would have scoffed. “$7.99 for a bath bomb? I think you read the sign wrong!” But I did not. Not at all. Not only were they $7.99, but lest anyone get the wrong idea about the whole thing, and perhaps think that $7.99 was the price for the whole freakin’ display or something, they made sure to add the word “each” underneath the price. Holy fucking shit. I was appalled and horrified, and most of all pissed off. SEVEN NINETY-NINE FOR A BATH BOMB. Bath bombs are made of citric acid, cornstarch, baking soda, oil, and fragrance FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I was so pissed that even though there was a bunch of other cool stuff in the store, I refused to buy ANY of it. Fuckers.
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Not the most flattering picture, god love ‘er.]]>

28 thoughts on “2003-07-08”

  1. Robyn – Yippee – three pounds is great! It could be much worse – I went on vacation last week – and I totally went off my diet, and ate like a piggy. I was scared to step on the scale yesterday morning, but – I only gained 2 pounds! Yippee. That I can work with – it will be off in a week. So – I am right there with you, chickee, you gotta have fun on vacation.

  2. Oh my GOD, I never realized you eat (however occasionally) ketchup!!!!! What kind of a monster are you Robyn???? Don’t you think tomatoes have feelings too?!!!!!

  3. what a coinci-dink! I was just reading the recipe on how to make those bath bombs (balls?) yourself on the URL below (stolen from X-stine of Squirrel X). Would be a crafty thing for you to do, eh?
    http://squirrelx.diaryland.com/index.html
    1. In a large mixin’ bowl, combine:
    2 tablespoons of citric acid
    2 tablespoons of cornstarch
    1/4 cup bakin’ soda
    and mix thoroughly.
    2. In a small bowl, combine:
    6 drops of the food colourin’ of your choice
    3 tablespoons of coconut oil, sweet almond oil, or olive oil
    1/4 cup scented oil [I use peppermint]
    3. Gradually add the coloured oil mixture to the dry ingredients
    and keep mixin’ ’til they’re thoroughly combined.
    4. Form 1″ balls and then lay ’em out on sheets of waxed paper.
    5. Let dry for 48 hours prior to use. Store in sealed containers.
    Keep away from moisture. Use 2 or 3 balls per bath.

  4. “It was a heartbreaking work of staggering fudginess, is what it was.”
    Robyn, I’m laughing my ass off over here.

  5. Robin,
    Don’t u no ketchup is loaded with sugar? Maybe you gained the 3 pounds from eating ketchup on your vacation!
    S.

  6. Oh fine. Mock my Diet Coke theory. See if I start controversy at your diet journal any more. Also, “Seven fucking dollars and ninety-fucking-nine cents.” Ha! I am officially slayed. Slain? Aw, fuck. You funny.

  7. Bwah! I forgot you had that Diet Coke theory, actually. I was referring to the people who email me and demand I give it up because it’s going to give me cancer/ make me gain weight/ will cause the end of the world/ is responsible for the unemployment rate.
    I know it’s lame to say, but I do love the taste of the Diet Coke.

  8. Every once in a while you have to say what the fudge… (Loosely borrowed from Risky Business I must say) 😉

  9. Robyn, I love the new logo, Great job Meg! Oh, and diet coke?? LOVE IT!!!!! Miz Poo looks adorable I must say! Please give her a kiss for me!

  10. Robyn,
    This is your Diet Journal. I don’t have to google to find out that you are talking about me behind my back. I’m on the notify list. How dare you talk about me that way after all we’ve been through. *snif* *snif* *waaaaaaahhhhhh*

  11. Re: Meg’s comment
    Wouldn’t it be absolutely fab if you COULD laugh your ass off. I’d totally be like, “Tell me a joke already. I just ate a cupcake.” Hee!

  12. first – miz poo looks adorable there and secondly – what is 3 measly little pounds compared to the delightful, fudge-induced euphoria you experienced?

  13. I personally would never tell you to stop drinking Diet Coke. Unless, you know, we were on a desert island and there was only a few left…

  14. My husband says Miz Poo’s face looks like it as created with Spin Art. I say it’s the face of L-U-V.

  15. Miz Poo looks cheerful, with her eyes uptilted like Laura Bush.
    Three pounds? Bah! Anything under five pounds is no biggie, and will be gone in no time.

  16. Thanks for the compliments on the logo! I’m glad y’all like it.
    And yes, if I could literally laugh my ass off, I wouldn’t have to do Pilates (not that THAT’s working, either — sigh). I could just visit Robyn’s site every morning and that would be the extent of my fitness regimen. 😉

  17. 3 pounds? It is most definately water retention. I think there is a law that says if yoy eat fudge in Gatlinburg or Pigeon Forge it doens’t have any calories. At least I make myself believe it. Love the Miz Poo pic, Bob was impressed too. (Bob who used to be Bella, but then he grew Bob’s…….)

  18. Of course Robin, if you had eaten more protein beforehand, less carbs, no demonic sugar and passed on the ketchup you know you wouldn’t have gained an ounce.
    Now share the fudge, woman, and no one gets hurt…

  19. erm…Robyn
    Damn, I’ve been reading long enough, you’d think I’d learn how to spell.
    It’s the thought of fudge, I tell ye- you know they put crack in it.

  20. Get out of here! Miz Poo looks wonderful in that pic! That is a girl with ‘tude! I could just smush my nose against hers. (And I am so sure she’d LOVE that. LOL)

  21. Dear lady,
    The reason you found three pounds in Gatlinburg is because they jumped off the butt of the woman in line next to you at Ripley’s and glommed onto you. It has happened to me, it has happened to my best friend, it has happened to my sister *and* her husband (on their HONEYMOON!). It’s a G’burg thang. Don’t sweat it. Just stand next to somebody in line somewhere now that you’re home and it’ll jump off you and glom onto his/her unsuspecting butt.
    P.S. — I should’ve warned you about G’burg around the Fourth. The humidity is generally horrid then. At least you found ducks!
    Thanks for the funny, the inspiration, and the chance to see the lovely new ‘Poo logo! By the way, Harry the Cat is in luuuuuuurrve with Miz Poo. He’s grunting soulfully in her direction.
    Best,
    grandefille
    aka Gina
    Middle Tennessee reader/admirer

  22. Miz Poo is so cute! I have a little crooked face cat of my own. He had a botfly larva in one side of his head when I picked him up off the streets as a tiny kitten.
    That side of his face never grew the same as the other side and he has a “snaggle tooth” on that side. It’s really apparent at certain angles. We think it gives him character. 🙂

  23. Oh Lord I hear you about the weightloss NUTS! I get them in abundance as well! They lose .3 ozs, exercise for 3 minutes, stay on they’re diets for 3 hours, and figure they’re the EXALTED HIGH PRIESTESS of WEIGHTLOSS!
    After 3 years of having a weightloss journal (and still not being at goal…. HEH!) I’ve lost all patience. Now I just respond with, come and talk to me in a month!!!
    Diet Pepsi is my nectar of the GODS!

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