* * * I just sat here for three minutes, racking my brain (what there is of it! Ha!) trying to remember the name of the school the spud attends. Three minutes it took me to come up with it. Early, early-onset Alzheimer’s, I’m telling you…

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THE Lisa (not the cat hater. Hee!) asks: Do you miss having a swimming pool? I am thinking of getting one and I remembered that you had one at the last house. Is it worth it? Sometimes I miss the pool in theory, but the last summer we lived in that house, I think we only went swimming once or twice. Before we put in the pool, people told us that the longer we had the pool, the less we’d use it, and that was definitely true. So while every now and then I think it would be nice to be able to go swimming, it probably wasn’t worth the cost, at least not to us. My parents have an aboveground pool that they use every day, and sometimes more than once a day during the summer, so I’d say that it was worth it to them. Sharon asks: I saw a commercial last night for a contraption very similar to a diaper genie, but for cat litter. I was wondering if you have seen/heard of/ tried/ know anyone who has tried this? My sister and mom rescue wild cats in west texas, and I thought the cat-litter thing might be a good investment for them. I think I’ve walked past the thing you’re talking about at the pet store – it looks like this? I’ve never tried it myself, because when I clean out the litter box in the morning, I dump the dirty litter into a plastic baggie and take it immediately to the trash. If anyone out there’s tried it, let me know and I’ll post your opinion here. Rebecca asks: how many people on average send you responses to your daily postings….I am thinking you could easily sit all day long and just answer emails…… Actually, it depends on the topic. On an average day, between this journal and the weight loss one, I receive 30ish emails. When something interesting happens – such as when I did an entry about the Bullshit! promo, or had a run-in with a nutball – I receive a LOT more. The Bullshit! entry pulled in almost 150 emails, and when I asked for advice about lotion to use on my face, I got about 75 emails. While I do try to answer most of the email I receive, there are some days when the last thing I want to do is answer it, and so it’s easy to get behind on my email. It probably doesn’t help that when I do respond to email, I tend to go from the bottom (the most recent email) and work my way up. No wonder some of you end up waiting months to get a response, huh? 🙂 Christopher asks: 1. Has your daughter picked up your potty mouth? 2. If she did, do you or would you have a problem with it? She hasn’t yet. In fact, she refused to say “Bullshit”, even when Fred and I told her it was okay. I’ve never told her not to swear and never would, because that’d be mighty hypocritical of me. As long as she doesn’t pull out the “fuck, fuck, fuckety-fuck” in church or in front of her grandparents, I’d be okay with it. I imagine it’ll take some experimenting for her to decide how much swearing she’s comfortable with in her life. Lori asks: You’re from Maine, so do you say things like, “I’ve got to PAHK MAH CAH,” or “wicked good”? Nope, but only because I spent my formative years up to the age of 11 or 12 living on bases in various parts of the country. My mother has a Maine accent, which oddly shows up strongest when she says things like “Calm down”, which end up sounding like “Cahm down” – I can’t really do it justice in spelling, trust me. She also says “Pahk”. I suspect that her Maine accent and my dad’s Alabama accent kind of balanced each other out so that I don’t really have a strong accent either way (though a bunch of LIARS have been insisting that I have a southern accent. Liars!) I do say “wicked” every once in a while, though. Quick story: when the Moon Unit Zappa song “Valley Girl” came out (I bet a LOT of y’all are too young to remember that one), my mother turned to me and said “You should have written a song about Maine girls! The chorus could go “Wicked good! I’m pahking the cah in Hahvahd Yahd, and I’m doing wicked good!”” Heh. Have a burning question? Ask!]]>