Scoop: Madonna has taken some heat lately for supposedly bashing her adopted country, England, but those stories have it all wrong. It�s the U.S. she can�t stand. The �American Life� star recently gave an interview to the BBC, and a source says Madonna made some pretty harsh comments about her native country � which were all edited out of the show that was broadcast. �Madonna said that most Americans are rude and obnoxious,� says a source. �She said that Americans are upset with her for having abandoned that country for England. And she�s clearly no fan of American president George Bush. But for some reason, all those comments were left on the editing room floor.� A BBC spokeswoman says she cannot comment on what was left out of the interview, and Madonna�s spokeswoman didn�t return calls. Most Americans are rude and obnoxious? Once again, pot-kettle-black. And as for Americans being upset with her for having left the US – I personally am not upset at ALL. In fact, she shouldn’t let the door hit her in the ass on her way out. You know, I can’t wait ’til little Lola and Rocco are old enough to pen those Mommie Dearest books. Oh – and check out The Top 16 Titles for Madonna’s Children’s Books. My favorite? Are You There, Lucifer? It’s Me, Madonna. Hee!

Be warned that I will be harassing people later today about whether they’ve received the Bullshit! tape and sent it on or not. If you received the tape and didn’t email me to let me know you were sending it on, please let me know now. If you haven’t received the tape, do nothing. Well, except send me a million dollars, if you’re of a mind. Ten and twenties, please. Speaking of email (kinda), I am far, far behind on my email and journal-reading. If you’ve emailed me in the past few months and haven’t heard back, don’t give up hope. Someday I’ll get back to you!
After I lifted weights this morning, I went upstairs to take a shower. I was shocked and appalled at the sight that greeted me when I stepped into the master bedroom. I’m accustomed to seeing Spanky snooze on that chair, and sometimes I’ll see Tubby there, but never – NEVER! – at the same time. It’s unheard of! Spanky can’t stand to have another cat – or a person for that matter – in his space. On the occasion when Fancypants needs some love and the only other cat around is Spanky, you can imagine the look of disgust on Spanky’s face when Fancypants tries the trilling-meow-and-swish-by that works so well with Tubby. All I can guess is that Tubby slipped Spanky some of the kitty pot, and when Spanky slipped into a drug-induced slumber, Tubby slyly snuck up on the chair and settled in. While I’m talking about cats (yes, yes, I hear you – “Robyn, when are you NOT talking about cats?!”), go read this funny-ass piece by Sour Bob.
I just finished ordering Mother’s Day flowers for Fred’s mother and stepmother and my mother. I had filled in all the required information and was juuuust about to click on the “Place order” button when I thought to myself, “Self, is it really that smart to send the same bouquet to all three mothers? Because, true, my mother will most likely never have the occasion to discuss the flowers she got from us for Mother’s Day with Fred’s mother and stepmother. And also, it is true that Fred’s mother and stepmother won’t be spending time comparing notes (“Red roses, you say? And lilies? In a white basket?”).” And then I stopped and imagined a scene that could easily happen. A scene involving Fred’s sister talking to their mother. Their mother saying “Yes, it’s quite lovely. Roses and lilies. In a cute white basket. Adorable.”, and Fred’s sister responding with “Oh, that sounds like the same arrangement [their stepmother] got from them! Uh, I mean…” Feelings would be hurt, I’d get in trouble with Fred, it would be a big brouhaha, and I’m not fond of the brouhahas, I’m really not. So instead of clicking on the “Place order” button, I canceled the order and sent each mother a completely different bouquet. Took longer, but it averted THAT potential disaster, yes it did.]]>