* * * I spent a good part of the day cleaning yesterday. I had Fred’s Jeep, since mine was having the oil changed and the tires rotated, so I cleaned it out, vacuumed it, and cleaned the dashboard. I filled about half a garbage bag with crap, and probably half a vacuum cleaner bag as well. In the afternoon, with Roseanne in reruns going in the background, I cleaned out the pantry (I’m an amazing pantry cleaner. Definitely do a good pantry.) and then the refrigerator. The house looks like crap, but the inside of Fred’s Jeep, the pantry and the refrigerator are stunningly clean and organized. Go, me! Speaking of my Jeep having the oil changed and the tires rotated, when Fred dropped it off at Firestone this morning, he asked them to please PLEASE try not to find $500 worth of work that needed to be done. Seriously, every time we bring a Jeep in, they seem to find almost exactly $500 worth of work that needs to be done. The Firestone guy took offense at Fred’s tone, but when he called later, guess what? That’s right, $500 worth of work needed to be done, but it wasn’t critical. Fred told him not to do it, and we’re going to take it somewhere else to be checked over. I can’t guarantee Firestone’s screwing us over, but it seems ODD that every time we have either of the Jeeps in for an oil change or something along those lines, it suddenly needs $500 worth of work. Bastards.

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And while I was cleaning, I finished organizing the spud’s room, and I’d like to say that without a whole pile of crap sitting in the middle of her bedroom floor, and without a pile of shoes she never wears on the floor in her closet (the shoes are instead hanging in an organizer, and ha! I’m so cute, aren’t I? Dropping five bucks on a thing to hang in her closet and organize her shoes? Because I think we all know that within a week the organizer won’t hold a single shoe, but instead will hold dirty clothes and dirty dishes and probably straight-out garbage, we know that, right? And I will wander into her room at some point, and I will lose my shit, oh yes I will, and the words “Fred works hard, and it isn’t so you can LIVE IN A PIG STY!” will surely come out of my mouth), without crap everywhere, and everything neatly put in it’s place, there’s actually plenty of room for the child to move about. Amazing.
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I finally went and picked up my new glasses today. They called Saturday to let me know they were done and ready to be picked up, but I didn’t feel like driving up that way until this morning.
The big pair – which I will probably use most often.
The small pair. For those rare occasions when I have to wear glasses in public. Why do I look like death warmed over? Also, note that if you look closely, you can see the Zit O’ Doom on my left cheekbone. Every fucking day this month I’ve had a zit on my face. If it wasn’t on my nose, it was on my chin or between my eyebrows. Basically wherever would be most noticeable to the public. Do I get zits in a convenient place, where I could hide it with my hair? Why, no. Of course not, damnit. And do I cover it up with foundation so as not to draw the horrified stares of other people? Fuck, no. All that does is make it more noticeable, at least so far as I can tell. If people have nothing more interesting to look at that the monster-sized zit on my cheek, then let ’em look to their heart’s content.
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Fancypants has NOT wandered home yet, but this picture’s been sitting on my memory stick, waiting to be put up for y’all to enjoy, so I’m going to do it now.
“Hey… dude, move over, you’re too close to me. Dude? Dude! Wake up!”