my-god-how-can-these-people-be-so-stupid-and-annoying eyeroll, so either it runs in the family or all teenagers do it. I suspect it’s the latter. Naturally, I also saw my parents, my sister, my grandmother (who is now living in an assisted living home and adjusting well. To me she’s more lucid than she was last summer. My mother informs me that that comes and goes, though), my best friend Liz, my other brother Darrell Randy, and my uncle, not to mention the adorable yapping squirrel-hunting Benji. We had an especially good time Saturday afternoon, when we had a family barbecue. When my parents left to take my grandmother back to The Home, the rest of us sat around and got started on all the “Oh, Jesus Christ!” stories (for the uninformed, that’s what my mother says when exasperated), and laughed our asses off. It was a definite great end to the visit. * I discovered that the ex told the spud that I am stupid. After I stopped laughing, I told Debbie “That would be like me calling Twiggy fat!” Later, I asked the spud what the conversation leading up to the statement consisted of, but she either couldn’t remember or wouldn’t say. The ex’s fiancee stepped up and said “That’s her MOTHER you’re talking about!” and smacked him, so I have to say that I wholeheartedly approve of her, and she’s clearly too good for him. * I burned the top of my forehead, the tops of my knees, and the tops of my feet. This after faithfully slathering a ton of sunblock all over my body every hour on the hour the day we went to the beach. The sunburn on my forehead is now peeling all over the place (the burn went up into my hair), and now I look like I have a seriously bad case of dandruff. However, I have a lovely 6-inch tan in odd shapes on both of my knees. * I had my first alcohol in probably three or four years in the form of a Strawberry Daiquiri at Applebee’s (I went shopping and out to lunch with Liz Saturday afternoon). By the time I was done with it, I was seriously buzzed. I’m a lightweight, what can I say? * Fred went for a walk and found a cat head one day, and was accosted by a stranger another. After writing an entry about the latter, he was inundated (lookit me, ma! Using the big words!) with emails calling him a dumbass and a sucker, and threatening to tell on him to me. Now, just because I’m in Maine doesn’t mean I don’t still talk to Fred 14 times a day. There’s this new invention called a telephone, y’see… And I knew what had happened hours and hours before any of Fred’s readers, because (this may be shocking…) we TALK to each other. We COMMUNICATE about odd and weird events in our lives. Of course he’s going to tell me first, because he’s my HUSBAND, an adult, not some naughty little boy who does stupid things and then tries to hide them from me. How could someone tell on him to me when I already know what’s what? And also, here’s the thing. Sometimes we give money to people who ask (shut your mail client, smartass) and sometimes we don’t. If we have the money and are willing to give it, we do so. The $20 that Fred gave that man Thursday morning took nothing away from us, because we can easily afford it. If he comes back and asks for another $20, we won’t give it to him, and it’s really that simple. If we have money and can help someone in need, it’s not up to us to quiz them to be sure they truly need the money. What happens with that money once it leaves our hands is nothing we can control. And in the end, it’s our money, and we get to decide what we do with it, y’know? And lastly, if in the future you send an email calling Fred names and treating him like a recalcitrant child, don’t be surprised when he responds in kind.

* * *
Damn, it’s good to be home!]]>