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THIS SECTION CONTAINS SURVIVOR SPOILERS FOR LAST NIGHT’S SHOW!!! Okay, HOW FUCKING COOL WAS THAT??? I thought Drake and Morgan were going to shit when they saw the Outcasts appear. TOO FUCKING COOL!! I was immediately rooting for them to win, and was THRILLED when they did. And I’m not particularly a fan of any of the Outcasts, although I like Lillian and Skinny Ryan, I guess I just tend to pull for the underdog. Andrew needs to GET the fuck over himself, though. What was that shit he was spouting, about how none of the outcasts deserve to be on “this beach”? Tell me exactly why Lillian was voted off? Oh yeah, because she lost the popularity contest to Mush Mouth – I’m remembering that correctly, aren’t I? Wasn’t it a matter of Lillian, who worked her ass off constantly, versus Mush Mouth, who sat around and looks pretty until she opens her mouth? Best. Twist. EVER. Also, I love that Andrew was all “Well, we’re just going to vote whoever comes back out at the first opportunity!” until someone (Ryan?) said “No, they’re immune at the first tribal council after they’re back.” HA! I was SO glad to see Osten go, because this whole “I’m ready to go!” thing he’s been doing since, like, day 2 was seriously getting on my nerves. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jeff Probst get so pissed at seeing someone give up. I think Jeff’s forgetting B.B. from Pulau Tiga, who asked to be voted out, and I’m pretty sure I remember Jenna asking to go at some point last season, didn’t she? Fucking Osten. What a wimp. I take exception with Jon referring to himself as “loyal” to Drake, especially after he tried to vote Rupert off last week. Jon is amazingly annoying and I cannot believe he’s made it this far. I fear for Rupert once the tribes merge (if they merge!). He’s clearly the strongest one out there, and they’re going to be gunning for his ass immediately. He’s going to need to win every single immunity challenge to make it to the end, I think. (If you comment on Survivor in the comments, please put SURVIVOR SPOILER at the top of your comment so as not to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the show yet. Thanks!)
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When Fred got home from work yesterday, he and I headed upstairs to lay down and talk about our day. As usual, Fred stripped down to his t-shirt and underwear, and then shut the bedroom door in case the spud came to ask or tell us something, and was scarred for life by seeing him in his underwear. (Or something hanging out of his underwear – he wears fairly loose underwear. In case you were wondering.) We lolled about on the bed and talked about various and sundry things, and then we heard the sound of a cat scratching at something. Fred turned to look at Tubby, who was scratching at a pillow propped up against the wall. He got up and moved the pillow out of the way, and then I heard it. The sound of rushing water. Rushing as it left Tubby’s bladder and splattered all over the wall and floor. I wanted to fucking drop-kick him across the floor, because even with me yelling at him, he just squatted there and peed for a long, long time. The fucker must have had a gallon of stinky cat pee in his stinky cat bladder. Certain that if I stayed in the room I would end up killing Tubby, I stomped downstairs and let Fred deal with it. After looking, I realized that I had used the rest of the container of Nature’s Miracle EARLIER THIS GODDAMN WEEK WHEN TUBBY PEED ON THE CLOTHES THAT WERE LAYING ON THE FLOOR IN THE CLOSET. Don’t be emailing or commenting and telling me to take Tubby to the vet. He goes through random stages where if we leave something on the floor, he pees on it. He’s always done it, and the vet can find nothing wrong with his stupid ass. We can go for months and months with him not doing it, and then all of a fucking sudden he does it a few times. Asshole. So I grabbed the spud and we went to the pet store to buy some Nature’s Miracle – a big jug along with a spray bottle – and when I got home I poured an assload of the stuff where Tubby had peed, and I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF HE DOES IT ONE MORE TIME I’M GOING TO DROP KICK HIM, JESUS, THROUGH THE GOAL-POSTS OF LIFE. I hate Tubby. I HATE HIM. And I don’t mean that I hate him in the way that people SAY they hate a cat when secretly they adore it. HATE. HIM. Don’t try to tell me I don’t hate him, because I really and truly do. I can admit that he’s amusing sometimes, but he’s never amused me so much that I can forgive his peeing a fucking gallon of stinky cat pee not three feet from my BED. Asshole.
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1. What was your first Halloween costume? I don’t know what my first costume was, but the first one I can remember is my witch costume. I think I was a witch for several years in a row.
2. What was your best costume and why? Oh, probably the witch costume. Although, my Sophomore year of high school, I painted my face green and black with greasepaint and wore a camouflage chamois shirt. I got sent home by the vice principal – who continues to be a dickhead to this day, I’m sure – to wash my face because it was “distracting to the other students.” Horseshit.
3. Did you ever play a trick on someone who didn’t give you a treat? Nope, never. 4. Do you have any Halloween traditions? (ie: Family pumpkin carving, special dinner before trick or treating, etc.) Not really. 5. Share your favorite scary story…real or legend! I like the one about the couple who were making out at Lover’s Lane and heard the story on the radio about the escaped criminal with a hook for a hand, and the girl got scared, so they left. When they got to the girl’s house, hanging on her door handle was… A HOOK!!! I have no idea why I like that story so much, but I do.
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In the interest of clearing out my memory stick, I’m going to post a buttload of pictures so that I can start November anew.
I’m a bean. I’m a bean! I’m a bean-beanie-bean! He’s a lip-licking fool. I love the way the fur around his mouth and nose is a lighter shade of gray than the rest of him. SniffSniffSniff Smackdown! If you look closely at the Bean, you can see that he is in the middle of a war cry. Spot is less than impressed. The Bean and that bastard Tubby. Whom I hate. Is it just me, or does the Bean look guilty?