A meme, stolen from a bunch of different people: WHAT DO YOU CALL: The basics: Born in Bangor, Maine. Lived in many places, including: Goosebay, Labrador (Canada), Indiana, Michigan, Guam, Maine, Rhode Island, and (now) Alabama. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks. Stream. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called. A cart. (They call it a “buggy” down here, and it drives me crazy) A metal container to carry a meal in. Lunchbox. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in. Frying pan. The piece of furniture that seats three people. Couch The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof. A gutter The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening. A deck. Well, except decks aren’t usually covered. A porch? Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages. Soda. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup. Pancakes. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself. Sub. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach. Bathing suit (?) Shoes worn for sports. Sneakers. Putting a room in order. Straightening. A flying insect that glows in the dark. Firefly. The little insect that curls up into a ball. Roly poly. The children’s playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down. Seesaw. How do you eat your pizza? Balanced on my fingertips. What’s it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff? Yard sale. What’s the evening meal? Dinner or supper. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are? Basement. What word(s) do you use to address a group of two or more people? You guys, or y’all. Would you say “Are you coming with?” as a full sentence, to mean “Are you coming with us?” No, and it drives me crazy when I read that in a book or journal. Would you say “where are you at?” to mean “where are you?” Nope. Modals are words like “can,” “could,” “might,” “ought to,” and so on. Can you use more than one modal at a time? Only when I’m trying to be funny. What do you call the area of grass between the sidewalk and the road? I had no idea it had a name. What do you call the area of grass that occurs in the middle of some streets? Median. What do you call the long narrow place in the middle of a divided highway? Median What do you call the drink made with milk and ice cream? Milkshake. What do you call the miniature lobster that one finds in lakes and streams for example (a crustacean of the family Astacidae)? Crawdad. What do you call the kind of spider (or spider-like creature) that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs? Daddy Longlegs. What nicknames do/did you use for your maternal grandmother? Grammy. What about your paternal grandmother (is there a distinction?) Grammy (last name) What do/did you call your maternal grandfather? I don’t recall calling him anything at all. paternal grandfather? Grandpa (last name) What do you call the big clumps of dust that gather under furniture and in corners? Dust bunnies. What term do you use to refer to something that is across both streets from you at an intersection (or diagonally across from you in general)? Kitty corner. What do you call the activity of driving around in circles in a car? Donuts. What do you call paper that has already been used for something or is otherwise imperfect? Scrap paper. What is your *general* term for a big road that you drive relatively fast on? Highway or interstate. What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining? “Look, it’s raining, and the sun is shining!” When you are cold, and little points of skin begin to come on your arms and legs, you have– Goosebumps What do you call the gooey or dry matter that collects in the corners of your eyes, especially while you are sleeping? Eye boogers. What do you call an easy course? A sleeper. What do you call a traffic situation in which several roads meet in a circle and you have to get off at a certain point? A rotary. What is the thing that women use to tie their hair? Hairbands. Do you use the word cruller? Uh, no. Do you use the term “bear claw” for a kind of pastry? Nope. What do you call someone who is the opposite of pigeon-toed (i.e. when they walk their feet point outwards)? I have no idea. Can you call coleslaw “slaw”? If I really want to. I abbreviate it as “slaw” when I’m writing it, but not usually when I’m speaking out loud. What do you call the box you bury a dead person in? A coffin. Do you say “vinegar and oil” or “oil and vinegar” for the type of salad dressing? Oil and vinegar. What do you call it when a driver changes over one or more lanes way too quickly? Cutting me off. Asshole. When you stand outside with a long line of people waiting to get in somewhere, are you standing “in line” or “on line” (as in, “I stood ___ in the cold for two hours before they opened the doors”)? In line. Do you say “frosting” or “icing” for the sweet spread one puts on a cake? Depends on which it is. I consider frosting to be thicker than icing. What is “the City”? Huntsville or Nashville. What is the distinction between dinner and supper? If there’s a distinction, I neither know nor care about it. Do you cut or mow the lawn or grass? Fred mows the lawn. Do you pass in homework or hand in homework? Hand it in. What do you call the insect that looks like a large thin spider and skitters along the top of water? I call it “a bug.” What do you call the thing from which you might drink water in a school? Water fountain. What do you call a public railway system (normally underground)? Subway. What do you call the act of covering a house or area in front of a house with toilet paper? TP’ing. What do you call a traffic jam caused by drivers slowing down to look at an accident or other diversion on the side of the road? A jam caused by rubberneckers. What vowel do you use in bag? Huh? What do you call the paper container in which you might bring home items you bought at the store? A bag. What do you call the night before Halloween? October 30th. What do you call the end of a loaf of bread? The end. How do you pronounce the word for the type of drug that acts as central nervous system depressant and is used as a sedative or hypnotic? (Please do not look up the word in a dictionary before answering this question.) Huh? What do you call a point that is purely academic, or that cannot be settled and isn’t worth discussing further? Moot. How do you pronounce the -sp- sequence in “thespian” (the word meaning “actor”)? Thes-pee-an What do you call a drive-through liquor store? I don’t – I don’t think they have those around here. What do you call food that you buy at a restaurant but then eat at home? Takeout. What do you say when you want to lay claim to the front seat of a car? Move your ass. I’m sitting there. What word do you use for gawking at someone in a lustful way? “Checkitout” Do you say “expecially”, or “especially”? ‘Specially.

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The Bean caaaasually puts his paw out so that it’s barely touching Miz Poo’s paw. Miz Poo, in the middle of washing herself, stops to give his paw a distrustful look. The Bean thinks better of his plan to harass Miz Poo, and stretches out for a nap. Miz Poo goes back to washing.