2004-04-12

Heh.

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Congrats to Shelley and M! That’s going to be one stylin’ baby. (Also, if it’s a girl, I think they should name it Jezebel Tallulah.)
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When I said on Friday that one of my goals for the weekend was to dust and vacuum the garage, some of you got confused (and some of you made fun of me. Hmph.). Yes, dust and vacuum the garage, like such:
For the record, I did vacuum, but never got around to dusting. Which desperately needs to be done. Luckily it was pretty dark when I was exercising this morning, so I couldn’t really see the dust laying around, thus I didn’t feel guilty. I also didn’t weed outside. Slacker. I’ll get around to it one of these days. I did get mostly caught up on my email, though – I only have three or four left to respond to, go me!
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Hey, you know how I always say Ben Affleck has a humongous noggin? Well, a few weeks ago he was on The Ellen Degeneres Show, and I snapped a picture of the screen, and for comparison purposes, here is the Affleck noggin, compared to the Degeneres noggin:
Look at that! His head is like THREE TIMES the size of hers. One of these days he’s going to be minding his own business, and that huge melon of his is going to start tilting to the side before he can stop it, and his neck is just going to snap. You heard it here first.
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Pet store kitty pics are hither. Also, there’s a new movie of the week up of Miz Poo chasing a laser beam. Exciting, no? Click on the link in the sidebar under “other”. As always, please right-click and “save as.”
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Such a Bean.
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24 thoughts on “2004-04-12”

  1. Awwwww. I want Boris and Raymond! They are cuties! I especially love Boris’ coloring.
    About the Mother thing. I don’t think you ever outgrow it. All we can hope for is that we somehow pass it on to our children. Heh.

  2. Oh! You MUST stop! I am soooo laughing to the point of peeing my pants! The mother thing we ALL suffer from AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! 😉

  3. Sorry Robyn–the mom thing is there for life! The only thing you have to look forward to is participating in this grand tradition by seeing how much you can piss off the Spud in later years.

  4. Whenever I see my mother in person, one of the first things out of her mouth is a comment about the state of my skin. I’m forty freaking years old. ARrrrrrrrgggg.

  5. You’re right about that head. It’s not normal.
    As for the mother thing, it isn’t something you outgrow. Mine makes me feel like a teenager again, and not in a good way. Did you ever do the double middle finger thing at your closed door after a talk with mom? I do that now after reading difficult e-mail from her. I’m over 40. If I haven’t outgrown it by now, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to.

  6. I was JUST home this weekend and this is what my mother did: At dinner I poured a Coke (I gave up Coke during the week and only drink it on weekends.) She sees this and says, “Oh, I see you haven’t broken your Coka Cola habit yet, huh?” THEN! We went out to eat with my little nephews (9 & 7) and she asked specifically for a table and when my nephews asked why, she said, “Because Amy can’t fit in a booth.” Well, it may be true, but they don’t need to know that! Arg!

  7. Nope, not gonna grow out of it.
    I’m fortunate in that my mom doesn’t get under my skin too much, but every once in a while she calls me up and tries to talk me into trying to get pregnant, which makes me want to SCREAM since I am a) broke and without health insurance, b) working 70 hours a week, and c) infertile. (I think she thinks I’m the only one who’s fair game for grandchild pressure since my sister and brother aren’t married.)

  8. **Laughing and giggling hysterically regarding the mother stuff** I feel ya!
    Thanks for the laugh!
    I would have laughed even harder if you actually HAD screamed and hung up on her.

  9. I saw Ben on a talk show and even he made a comment on how big his head looked. It’s huge!

  10. take boris home, skip the hubby, better and easier to ask for forgiveness than permission anyway! I love them all! I’m allergic but love them anyway! I have 8! and the mother, well at least you only have to deal with her on a once in a while basis, my mother in law if an in your face, only 2 miles away, and can’t leave me alone kinda thing! Gonna run rampid on her one day soon!

  11. I also heard the interview where Ben said he had a big noggin’. He must read “Bitchypoo”!

  12. Thanks for the opportunity to vent because I had sworn off talking about the stuff my mother does. (Too often I am met blank stares that make me think I’m the problem…or even if she’s the problem others feel uncomfortable cause what can they say?) When I was a sophomore in college my mom said I looked like a Mack truck (I weighed 145 pounds.) So you’d think now that I’ve been a Weight Watchers Leader for eight years she’d shut up about it. Nope, this week alone it started with her hinting that she wanted me to make strawberry shortcake, “But you probably don’t want to because of your weight.” And then yesterday she couldn’t stand it and had to ask me directly how much I weighed. When I respond with an incredulous look she’ll insist that I “look just fine” or that she knows I have to make weight for my job but I AM POSITIVE it’s her inappropriate obessesion with my and her appearance. She insists that we compliment her attire, hair, nails everytime we get together.

  13. As the other commenters have said, you will NEVER grow out of the mom-angst. Neither will she. I am fifty-fucking-two years old, and my mother is ninety-fucking-two years old, and she STILL says either “Are you really eating that? Aren’t you still dieting?” OR “You’re getting too thin! Eat some onion rings!”
    Excuse me, I must now go and bang my head against the wall.

  14. Maybe the homicidal tendencies are coming from the Seasonale (you know, the birth control). I started my pack this month and last week I was furious at my boyfriend for using the wrong size pot and too much water to boil pasta. I said, “That’s the wrong DAMN pot for FUCK’s sake! There’s too much FUCKING water in it! Goddamnit, I’LL DO IT!” at which point a threw, yes threw, the pot and water into the sink. Water went EVERYwhere! Weird, no? Five minutes later I apologized and cleaned up the water. I haven’t thrown a tantrum that huge since I lived with my dad.

  15. I must be one of the lucky few. I don’t have problems with my mom. The only thing she ever says that gets to me is about money. And that’s only because I know I could do better managing it. But she very rarely says anything even about that.
    But then she used to do/say more things until I called her on it one time. She was sorta bitchen about the clutter in my house and I just responded that I’m 30 some odd years old and I have the right to live how I want and besides, she’s the one who tought me how to clean only on the weekends. Growing up Saturday was the only day we did cleaning. Other then the dishes, we did do those everyday, but everything else piled up until Sat. So once I said that she’s never said anything since about anything at all except for the money stuff.
    I need to call and thank her for that.
    About Ben’s head, one of the scenes that they show for Jersey Girl shows how big his noggin is. The one where he’s in the shower with Liv and they lean over when the daughter flushes the toilet. Their heads are right next to each other and his head just looks grossly out of proportion to hers.

  16. Did you ever here Merv Griffin’s theory of celebrity? He thinks that over-large heads are a huge predictor of fame and success in show business. The reason he picked Vanna White for Wheel of Fortune was because she had a big head. Oprah and Rosie both say that it’s impossible to find hats that fit.

  17. OHHHHHH, honey!
    The Mom thing had me SO identifying with you! Went to church with Mom on Sunday, and during the SERMON, she whispered in my ear, “should you make some strawberry fans for the angel food cake?” No, it’s just eaten on a paper plate, like ALL Easter desserts. So, I shook my head no, and forgot about it. Then, hours later at dessert time, we’re all scarfing the said cake, and she loudly announces, “ANNE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE STRAWBERRY FANS, BUT SHE FORGOT!”
    And her new habit…she says something to you…a question, whatever. And if you don’t IMMEDIATELY respond, she says very loudly,”hel-LO? hel-LO? Anyone there?” Sorry so long with this, Robyn, but it sure was fun to join the Mom-Vent!

  18. HELP!!!
    I need some good vibes from everyone. My 9 yr old cat is missing. I have 3 cats and he is the oldest and my most favorite. I haven’t seen him since Saturday AM. This is very out of character for him. I am freaking out here. He is the first pet hubby and I got as a married couple. Underdog and all, an orphan found in a dumpster behind Burger King. He is the Rockinest Kitty…….
    Good Vibes Folks……

  19. Oh yeah- the Mom thing…… Grrrrrrr…. She drive me nutty- could slap her at least a dozen times a day!
    and I am on board with the “easier to ask forgiveness than permission” thing. Try it, you’ll see!

  20. I am writing this late so I hope you still see it…..got my Happy Bunny magnet in the mail today….thank you!! I love it!
    Why don’t you have the recipe for crack in your recipe thingy?? I wanted to make it and couldn’t find it there……please put it in…..thanks. I was telling my family about it and they thought I made it up….and I do so want to try it so I can tell people that I am now a crackhead.

  21. Niki – I’m so sorry to hear about your cat, I’ll definitely be sending good vibes your way!
    Kathy – I don’t have the recipe for crack because I keep forgetting to add it. Until I get around to doing that, you can find it here. We’re having crack tonight!

  22. O. M. G. I can so HEAR your mother’s voice in this entry. It is creepy — stop that.
    Have I just gone and made things like, 100 times harder for you with her? God, I hope not.

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