new logo? Very appropo for this month, methinks. Thanks to creative reader Amy for the new logo!
Next new logo will be up on August 1st.
* * *
So Fred and I were doing something yesterday that required us to be standing in the kitchen – probably getting our 7:00 snacks – and he turned and squinted at me.
“Are you combing your hair differently or something?” he asked. “It looks different.”
“I blow-dried it this morning,” I said. “I’ve been experimenting with different ways to do it.”
Pause. You know what’s coming, right?
“Different good, or different bad?” I asked.
His eyes went wide, and he got a panicked look on his face.
“Just… DIFFERENT!” he yelled, and then ran away.
Jesus christ. After almost five years of marriage, wouldn’t you think he’d KNOW that there are only two ways to answer that question?
1. “I love it the way you have it now. You should ALWAYS do it like that!”
2. “It’s beautiful, but I prefer it the way you usually wear it.”
What I need to do, clearly, is hire a woman to follow him around 24 hours a day, and when he’s asked a question that puts him into panic mode, he can pause time and turn to consult with her before he answers.
I guess the problem is that he tends to have no opinion whatsoever when it comes to my hair. I have a feeling he never really even looks directly at it, and thus if I were to shave it off, it’d take him three weeks to even notice anything was different.
On the other hand, I have an opinion on HIS hair, but when I think his hair looks it’s best (very little or no gel, and mussed rather than carefully combed back), he thinks it looks horrible and refuses to go out into public like that.
Hmph. MEN.
* * *
Speaking of my hair, I realized last night that with the way it’s cut, I could easily do my hair in a style similar to Dana on Season 1 of
Sports Night:
Next time I blow-dry my hair, I may experiment with it and see if I can.
Speaking of
Sports Night, I’ve been watching it while I work out; I just started Season 2, and I’m enjoying it immensely. That is one good damn show. In the past, I never thought Felicity Huffman was all that good-looking, but the more I watch the show, the more I like her, and the prettier she seems to become.
I got
The Office from Netflix on Tuesday, and I started watching it yesterday. I liked what I could understand, but the problem was that I was having a hard time understanding what everyone was saying, because I wasn’t always directly in front of the TV – I was off to the side lifting weights for part of the time. I decided to send it back to Netflix and try it again in the future when I have time to sit in the living room and watch it rather than trying to watch it while I work out.
Also arriving on Tuesday were
Cold Mountain and
50 First Dates, both of which I’m going to watch with Fred.
* * *
Important things to know in life:
1. Unless you want your ENTIRE house to smell like boiled ass, it is not a good idea to put the baggie of poo and pee chunks (that you cleaned out of the litter box) on top of the dryer WHICH IS RUNNING and then wander off to do something else. Because believe you me – when an hour later you’re as far away from the room where the litter box is located as it’s possible to be and still be IN the house, and you are happily vacuuming the rug and you catch the strong odor of cat shit and you curse and stomp around and try to figure out where one of the little bastards shit, and you follow your nose back to the room where the litter box is located, you will GAG at the smell and it will make you VERY UNHAPPY. Also, it might be time to move. I’m not sure you’re ever going to get that smell out of the house.
2. When you have a yeast infection and you buy the box of Monistat and it says on the back “Itching and burning might increase a tiny little bit after medicine is applied”, that is what we where in BitchyLand refer to LIES FROM THE MOUTH OF SATAN. The itching? The burning? It will make you want to grab a semi-sharp knife and amputate the lower part of your body at the waist because JESUS CHRIST, THE ITCHING! THE BURNING! THE ITCHING AND THE BURNING! AND YOU HAVE TO DO THIS THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW AND IT WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE.
3. The decor of any room can be enhanced by the addition of a cat in a fruit hat. Meet Carmen Meownda:
(Thanks again,
Pinky!!)
That is all.
* * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
]]>
Bitch! I wanted Cold Mountain for this weekend, but Netflix says ‘Short Wait’ and sent me something else instead. So YOU’RE the one who got my copy! *evil glare*
Robyn, I bet you could get your hair to do that, but I don’t think you’ll want to. It will require PRODUCTS. Gasp! I’m too lazy for products, myself. 😉
Let us know what you think of the latest Sedaris book when you’re done. I’ve got his Me Talk Pretty One Day to finish.
Good god, don’t they include the tiny tube of hootchie-numbing cream they used to with Monistat? From what I remember, that was the main selling point of it for me when I had delicate issues.
You are NOT kidding on the Monistat. I took Diflucan last time, and while the intestinal side effects were disturbing, I’ll still take that any day over the horrible burning pain of Monistat.
Speaking of the Sedaris’, have you ever gotten into Strangers with Candy (Amy Sedaris stars). Funniest show EVER! A SWC movie is due out sometime this year. Can’t wait…
Regarding Fred’s opinion of your hair…my husband ALWAYS has an opinion of mine. He likes it long. And when I chop it off as I am wont to do because it’s MINE, he pouts. But does he stroke my hair? Or does he have to take care of it? Does he have to live under it’s ungodly heat at Noon in the blazing sun? NO! But his hair on the other hand? My opinion is what matters. Also, I bought clippers just so I could get it the way I like it. Controlling much? Yes, I am, thank you.
Robyn, I love the new logo! So appropriate! And I’m uber-jealous of your Hawaii trip. Hey! I bet Miz Poo would look stellar in a grass skirt and lei!
I loved 50 first dates, it’s a great movie!
Hey Robin-
To do your hair like that, try towel drying, then put in some gel and then blow it dry by sections using a medium-size (3″) roll brush.
My hair is longer but simliar to that.
Good luck! Put up some pictures!
Ooo, I must have a Carmen Meownda!! Where oh where cna I find one?? 🙂
hhhmmmm…..love the new logo but couldn’t see any of the pics and so i have to work on it. I thinks my info and me computer is going bonkers!
I once chopped 10″ off my hair and my husband said “I thought you were going to get your hair cut?” And he wasn’t joking! The man was clueless.
And next time search for the Monistat with the hootchie-numbing cream. (Thanks Wendy! I snorted soda out my nose.) It works like a charm.
Robyn – Have you seen Felicity Huffman’s newer show, “Out of Order”? I caught a few episodes one weekend a couple weeks ago and loved it. It’s a totally different role for her and I really got into it.
I am soooo with you on the Monistat!! The exact same thing happened to me last week. I think that little tube of “external ointment” is actually tabasco with a shot of battery acid or something.
Gald I’m not the only one!!!!
I am the cat in the tutti frutti hat. All the pretty ladies go for that! Ayiyiyiyiyi!
I have no idea where that’s from, but that’s what popped into my head when I saw your fruit hat cat! 🙂
I laughed out loud at the paragraph about boiled ass. It’s why I keep coming back for more 😉 I was glad to see you win a diaryland award for best rant, that was a great entry. And you also turned me on to Plain Jane months ago and I read her almost as religiously as I read you and Fred. The diaryland awards prove to me that reading your journals is time well spent (on the job.) I love the new figurine and also the logo. TGIF! (In Tokyo anyway.)
Linda
Damn Monistat and the like gave me damn UTI infections while battling the yeast! The doctor said it is because of the long ass damn treatments and invites the crud to invade other um, places. I do Diflucan from now on. Insurance pays for it and I have never had any side effects. You just take one pill then take one more 7 days later, oh and your itching and burning are either completely gone or greatly diminished within 24 hours.
{Yes I am pimping an oral yeast killer–HEE}
Ooooh, Sports Night! I have the DVD too because I loved that show and couldn’t believe it was canceled.
I think your hair would look SO cute in that cut..talk to your hair dresser about it!! You might have to use products on days you are going out of the house but mine is cute the same way..I don’t always style it with products..even when going to work!