8/3/05

Janie-Jane!

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Well, Jennifer Aniston did a pretty straightforward and open interview with Vanity Fair. In it, regarding the Jolie-cavorting Brad’s been taking part in, she says “There’s a sensitivity chip missing.” If THAT ain’t the truth. Christ, it’s only been a few months since they broke up; can’t he keep it in his pants out of respect for her, for the love of god? I suspect people as beautiful as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have to be a little bit nuts, anyway. When the whole world bends over to lick your feet, that’s got to be crazy-making. You expect that whatever you do is A-OK with everyone else and don’t have to consider the consequences. Or so I’d imagine. And if I can just weigh in on the Jude Law/ Sienna Miller thing: I hope she leaves him in the dust. I mean, I don’t really know a single thing about her, but I do know this: if the man is fucking around with the NANNY (god, such a cliche) before you’re even married, he’s going to keep screwing around even after you’re married. Isn’t the rumor that screwing around is what broke up his first marriage? I don’t get the Jude Law love, honestly. He’s a good-looking man, but something about him gives me the ookies. This has been your Bitchypoo Hollywood report. Personally, I get my entertainment news from Perez Hilton and The Superficial, not to mention various and sundry sources I stumble across during my daily surfing marathon.
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Oh lord, speaking of surfing, a few weeks ago Mo mentioned Yvonne’s site, and I’ve been reading her ever since. So yesterday I went back to an entry from about a year ago when Yvonne was waiting to go into labor with her daughter (who’s now a year old and GOD SHE IS CUTE), and I read forward from there about six months, and then went back to the current entry and read back to the beginning of July, and I ran across this entry where she puts quotes around a phrase and then links to a picture of herself doing the air quotes, and I laughed so hard I thought I was going to shoot a lung across the room. So Yvonne, if you check your stats and see that someone hit a thousand pages on your site, an IP that resolves to Alabama, I admit it! (But I swear I wasn’t cutting and pasting. Well, except for the url to the air quotes entry, because I had to share the love.)
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God. I ended up staying up until, like, close to 1:00 last night, because I came downstairs to check my email (EVEN THOUGH I have the laptop upstairs) and I got caught up in looking at my stats and then surfing to bizarre locations, and then realizing I hadn’t been to Dana’s site in a long time and catching up there, and I don’t know where the fuck else I went, but I came out of my daze and realized I’d been hunched in front of the computer for almost three hours and I had to pee and my back hurt and I could barely keep my eyes open. The internet? It’s a drug. It’s a drug, Matt. It’s a street drug. You don’t know the history of the internet the way I do, Matt. You don’t, Matt. You really don’t. I do. You don’t. They sell the internet on the street. To CHILDREN. The internet is a street drugs, and the children are addicted, Matt. Look at me, Matt. Look at my crazy eyes. Be hypnotized by my crazy twirling eyes. You don’t need a computer, Matt. Computers are highly overrated. They’re hocus-pocus. They are, Matt. People don’t need computers. They don’t, Matt. Matt, they don’t. All they need is a rotary phone and a pad of paper. What can you do with a computer that you need to do, that you can’t do with a rotary phone and a pad of paper? NOTHING, Matt. Anything you can do with a computer that you can’t do with a rotary phone and a pad of paper, you don’t NEED to do. A rotary phone and a pad of paper and a bottle of vitamins and you’re set for life. Don’t be glib, Matt. Glib is unattractive. Computers are the devil and I’ve given up all computers and the internet and I’ve never been healthier. And in love! Whoo!
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I did some looking around online over the weekend, and found that we could cut our cell phone bill almost in half by switching from an 850-minute/ nights and weekends free plan to a 400-minute/ weekends free plan. I don’t even care about whether nights and weekends are free, because if it’s at night or on the weekend, chances are good that we’re at home and can use the home phone. What sucks is that the cheapest family plan at Verizon (where we intend to switch when our T-Mobile plan is up in December) starts at $69.99 for two phones. I don’t know, that just seems like craziness to me, to pay that much for phones that we don’t really use all that much. We’ve already decided that Fred’s going to give up his cellphone in December (when the contract’s up) because the only time he really needs it is when he goes hiking, and he can take my phone for that. We actually considered giving up our cellphones altogether, but I’m not comfortable with the idea of the spud driving around without a cellphone, and my cellphone comes in pretty handy sometimes. Ugh. Fucking cell phones. Is it really so ridiculous that we don’t want to pay $70 a month for phones we rarely use? I’m open to suggestions, y’all. I know we’ve got a few months left before we can even do anything about switching our cell service, but even though Verizon was the company rated highest by Consumer Reports, I’m not sure I want to pay $70 a month for the privilege.
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In our back yard, we have platform bird feeders. Occasionally, we get a squirrel visitor, who plops his big butt in one of the feeders and partakes of the scrumptious seeds we’ve provided for him. DSC06631 He spotted me looking at him, and headed for the tree. DSC06632 Nice of me to put the bird feeders so close to the tree, wasn’t it? It was unintentional, believe me. DSC06633 Annnnd… he’s outta there!
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2005-08-03 Spanky in the sun.]]>