This one was created by the wonderful Amy. Thanks, Amy!
I know y’all loved last month’s logo, and I did too, so don’t worry, you’ll be seeing it again in the future.
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Since April Fool’s Day fell on a Saturday this year, I didn’t have a chance to attempt an April Fool’s joke on y’all. It’s okay, though, I suppose – I don’t think I could possibly outdo last year’s entry
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I discovered this weekend (Sunday, to be exact) that if I keep my ass off the couch, I tend to actually get things accomplished around the house. Saturday I spent all freakin’ day on the couch watching Netflix discs (a couple of Sex and the City, Season… 4? I think?, Memoirs of a Geisha, Shelter Island (SPOILER: Ally Sheedy deserved to die at the end of that movie, because the hair OH MY GOD the HAIR, was the worst hairstyle I’ve seen in my entire life. Ugh.), and then Sunday I got out of bed at 8:00 (which was REALLY 7:00!), ate breakfast, and Fred and I loaded up the car (“Fred and I” meaning “Fred”) and headed out for Decatur to do some kayaking.
The kayaking went pretty well, considering that it was only the third time I’ve ever actually been in the kayak. I did try to adjust the way I was sitting at one point – while we were many feet from shore – and the right side of the kayak went very low and some water spilled in, so I learned not to shimmy back and forth too much while sitting in the kayak. We toodled around in our respective kayaks for an hour or so, and I got a little sunburned because Fred didn’t want to stop and pick up some sunblock. I think he WANTS me to get skin cancer.
(Okay, that’s a lie – he suggested stopping and picking up some sunblock, and I said “Well, we’re not going to be out that long, we’ll be fine.”, so it’s all my fault.)
The water where we were – Fred calls it “Where the holes are”, you can read a better description of the area here
– was only about three feet deep at the deepest, but it was an ugly brown and despite the shallowness of the water it wasn’t possible to see the bottom, and fish kept popping up out of the water and startling me, not to mention the many turtles who eyeballed us from a distance.
“If I fall out of the kayak,” I said to Fred, “You won’t have to worry about me getting stuck in the mud, ’cause I’ll run across the surface of the water all the way to the car. This water is CREEPY.”
“Really?” he said, surprised.
“Yes indeed,” I said.
Anyway, we paddled our way under the bridge (very cool – there were many swallows’ nests underneath the bridge) and stopped by the old highway that is surrounded by water (I guess it was a highway when Fred’s dad was a kid, then they built something better) so Fred could walk around on it (apparently something he’s been dreaming about since he was a kid, because he dreams BIG) and then we paddled around some more. When we were a good distance from the car and had been out in the water for about an hour, Fred said “Are you ready to head back to the car?” I said “Yes”, and that was all she wrote. He started paddling like the hounds of hell were after him. Finally, when he was about half a mile ahead of me, I yelled “HEY!”
He stopped and looked at me.
“You want to slow the fuck down?” I yelled.
“Sorry,” he said.
We got back to where we’d parked the car, and I waited while Fred got out of his kayak and came over to help me out of mine.
“Can you do the straddle thing?” he asked. I’d gotten into the kayak by standing with a leg on either side of the kayak, then sitting down and folding my legs into the kayak with me. I pulled my legs out of the kayak and tried to put my feet on the ground, but since I have short and stubby legs, it wasn’t happening.
“I’ve got the kayak,” he said. “Can you just swing your legs over to one side and get out?”
For a moment I thought it was going to happen, then I realized I was too low and just wasn’t going to be able to stand up, even with help. Of course, I didn’t manage to realize this soon enough, and I ended up half-on the side of the kayak, with my ass dangling in the water.
Fred was no help, because he was standing there laughing his ass off.
“Okay, wait,” I said, and ended up going onto one knee in the water, then pushing myself up from there. I ended up mostly wet from the ass down, but at least I was out of the kayak.
All in all it went pretty well. I might not be ready to do the Ocoee yet, but we’re going to take the kayaks out again next Saturday, maybe for a little longer this time.
I suspect I might be ready to join the Olympic kayaking team in time for the 2008 summer Olympics.
(I didn’t bring the camera this time, but I’m definitely going to next week!)
Anyway, instead of ending up on the couch while Fred went for a hike, I stayed OFF the couch and vacuumed the entire house (including the garage!), paid bills, and… well really, that’s all. But the vacuuming and bill-paying desperately needed to be done, so I was glad to have it done and over with.
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: Match Me If You Can
, by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.
I was actually supposed to read The Lincoln Lawyer next, but after finishing the very long and intense Turning Angel
by Greg Iles, I decided I needed something a little lighter, so I picked Match Me If You Can off a lower shelf. I’m enjoying it so far – I always enjoy Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ books – and it’s definitely what the doctor ordered.
The Greg Iles book
was good, though it maybe dragged on a little longer than it needed to.
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We watched King Kong
Friday night. Fred absolutely loved it. I liked it well enough, but – and this is probably because I am so very pedestrian and unable to appreciate great art (rolllllling my eyes here) – I’m firmly of the opinion that if a story can’t be told in two hours or less, then it’s too long and bloated and needs to be edited the fuck down. I mean, look – my time is fucking precious, damnit, and I don’t need to be cooling my heels for over three hours to watch a story that could easily be told in two hours or less.
I suggested to Fred that Peter Jackson is the Stephen King of the movie world – everyone’s too scared to edit him anymore, and he can definitely use it.
Still, all in all, not a bad movie.
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“OW! Mooooooooooooom, Tommy is hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrting me!”
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2005: No entry.
2004: No entry.
: Nothing, by the way, pisses me off more than the crap that gets installed with the program you really want – Office 2000, I’m looking at you and your crappy Outlook friend.
: Mother Nature is getting ON MY NERVES.
2001: No entry.
: So if rainy days and Mondays always got me down, I guess I’d have been suicidal today.]]>