new logo! This was created by the wonderful Aly, who can always be counted on for a good logo!
Thanks, Aly. As usual, you rock!
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We watched
Zodiac last Friday night, and let me tell you what – that movie ties for LONGEST GODDAMN MOVIE and LEAST SATISFYING ENDING EVER. Also, LEAST AMOUNT OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT EVER PRESENT IN A MOVIE took honorable mention. At one point, I lifted up my head (I’d briefly fallen asleep out of self-defense, since my brain could no longer handle the boredom), certain that I’d slept through the night and yet the movie was STILL GOING, and I said “Is it still Friday?”
And why did they even bother with the Chloe Sevigny character? Was the character description “Woman who Jake Gyllenhaal marries and then who leaves him so that we can see how all-consuming this case was and how it ROONT HIS LIFE and also he managed to restrain himself from SMACKING the woman with Hollywood’s MOST SMACKABLE FACE (lifetime award of smackability cannot be confirmed, but lives in my heart)”? Was there a single white man in all of Hollywood NOT in this movie? And is there a reason every one of them needed to be padded up? They had IDENTICAL potbelly guts, every one of them. Did the Zodiac Killer curse them with doughy bodies, was that the unspoken conspiracy?
I know (YUH-AWN) this was based on real life and in real life, there are not nice, neat endings, but hey! Goddamn newsflash! If I was interested in real life, would I be sitting on my ass watching a MOVIE? I think NOT. If I was interested in real life, I’d be sitting on my ass in front of the computer scaring up a trainwreck-type blog and shaking my head in smug disbelief.
Luckily, we watched
Thank You for Smoking the next night, to wash the SUCK out of our brains, and it was pretty amusing, though the part played by Katie “Mrs. Tom Crazy” Holmes was pretty throwaway.
“I feel like we could have written this movie,” I said to Fred, and he agreed. We love us a good satire.
And Sunday night, just because we didn’t have anything recorded that we particularly wanted to watch, we watched
The Shawshank Redemption, and the part where Brooks gets out of prison and the part where Andy escapes and the part where Red gets out of prison and sees that the world has raced by while his world stood still in prison, those three parts of the movie break my heart COMPLETELY every single time. I’m tearing up, just thinking of how lonely watching Brooks bag groceries and wished he was back in prison with his friends made me feel.
Goddamn I love that movie.
And while we’re (I am, anyway) going on about watching things, I have watched
Saving Grace and
Damages, and am uncertain whether I like them enough to make them a regular part of my schedule. I love me some Holly Hunter, but is there any facet of that character’s life that isn’t completely fucked up? (Also: WHOO!
Lem, we missed you!). It threatens to venture into unintentional satire.
I liked Damages and I like Glen Close as a badass, but
that girl who plays the new attorney? When Glen Close says something about “There’s always something going on in there”, I laughed. Because the only thing that appears to me going on in that girl’s head is a great big white-noise hum. I’m more likely to continue watching Damages than Saving Grace, but I’m going to give both shows a couple more episodes each before I decide.
Annnnd rounding out the TV report,
Army Wives is still a show I’m liking, though it very well might be due to Roxy and no one else on that show. Major Frank Sherwood is a pompous, dictating asshead and when he was babbling on about how he needed Denise to be there for him and help him out, I yelled “OH! You mean like she was there for the 18 years of raising your son, so you could run him off?” Fucker. And how about that condescending “You were alive and vital! You saved her life!” speech? I wanted her to say “Oh. Did you imagine I was standing around with my thumb up my ass, you smug self-centered motherfucker?”
But I do love the show. Check it out!
(I find the name “Claudia Joy” to be irritating beyond belief, though. And could there be any less chemistry between Claudia Joy and Michael? I really want to LIKE Kim Delaney, but I can’t seem to do so. )
Lastly, we watched
The Two Coreys the other night (you just shut your face). I always have to stop for a moment to remember which is Haim (slack-jawed, weird-looking eyes) and which is Feldman (face that begs a good hard smack; squinty eyes, mean mouth). However, after viewing the first and second episodes of this fine quality entertainment I tell you what: there’s a HUGE difference between the two.
Feldman is smug and self-important, has a HUH-YOOG stick up his ass, and is married to the most annoying and whiny stick-up-her-ass yet apparently naive and simple-minded woman, and I am PRAYING that they get divorced and FAST because their double helping of self-importance sucks all the oxygen out of the room.
Haim absolutely makes you feel sorry for him, because he’s made some stupid fucking choices in the past (and still seems to be making plenty), but he’s likable and he just wants to get laid and get some damn work.
There’s no doubt in my mind that this show is contrived and at least partially scripted, but Feldman is as wooden as a dime store Indian, and Haim actually makes you believe the show might NOT be scripted at all. The lines sound natural and he acts like you imagine he acts whether there are cameras running or not.
Not a bad show to waste an evening; we liked it, and did I mention you just shut your face?
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Goddamn, I watch way too much TV.
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You know? Sometimes… I just. I just don’t know.
The Chicken Man of Smallville demonstrates his special talent.
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It don’t get much happier than that.
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Previously
2006: No entry.
2005: Debbie: “Oh, right. I used to boil Brian’s nipples when he was a baby.”
2004: You don’t act like THAT and then get to swan around all WOUNDED when no one wants to play with you. Fuck that.
2003: No entry.
2002: GODDAMN IT, WOMAN, MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND. DO I GET RID OF EVERYTHING OR DO I NOT?
2001: Excuse me, he’s known about this closing for well over a month and still can’t manage to be on time? How self-important can you be?
2000: Fucking every time I drive through Pennsylvania it fucking pours down rain. ]]>