* * * Further proof, in case you needed it, that I’m a dumbass. Sunday, Fred and I went to Lowe’s, and we bought a smoker, because he’s been talking about how good a smoked chicken would be, plus he’s been wanting to try his hand at smoking jalapenos and bell peppers. Then we stopped at the grocery store and picked up a couple of chickens and a roast. Yesterday, when I was at the pet store and doing some grocery shopping, he began the smoking process. In the morning, he smoked the chicken and the roast, and once those were done, cooled, and put in the fridge, he smoked a bunch of jalapenos and green bell peppers. I had a little bit of the chicken, and it was just as good as it smelled (ie, fabulous), and so we decided to have the chicken for dinner. Since we had fairly fresh eggplant and okra in the fridge, I decided to oven fry them, and while that stuff was cooking in the oven, Fred started talking about his smoked jalapenos. “They’re really good!” he enthused. “I ate a couple, and they have a smoky pepper flavor, but they’re not hot in the slightest. I think I’m going to experiment with them.” While he mused in silence about the smoked jalapeno experiments he might perform in the future, I went completely Dumbass, and I thought to myself that a smoked pepper sounded like it would be REALLY good. (And lest you forget, I don’t like hot things, and I also don’t like bell peppers, which are not hot in the slightest to me. Why I thought a smoked pepper would be appealing, I do not know.) So I went into the laundry room and pulled the container of smoked jalapenos from the fridge, and I popped one in my mouth. And my mouth burst into flames. Instead of doing what someone with half a brain might do and spit the goddamn thing out, I finished chewing it and then swallowed. My mouth burned. My tongue burned. And Fred said “Oh, you’re not EVEN going to tell me that that’s hot!” For the next ten minutes, I did all I could to stop the flames that were burning my mouth to a crisp – drank water, sucked on an ice cube, ate yogurt. I know the best way to stop the pain is to drink milk, but I don’t like the taste of milk, so I didn’t. (Later, it occurred to me that it wasn’t like I was going to be able to TASTE the milk through the taste of burning flesh, but I didn’t think of that at the time.) Eventually, the pain went away and I ate dinner and it was good, but I’ve gotta wonder – WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?! Don’t like jalapenos, don’t like peppers, and yet I thought popping an entire jalapeno in my mouth was a good idea? Hopefully I’ll remember the pain next time I’m tempted to do such a dumbass thing, but I’m not counting on it. ********************************* So. New kittens! I spent the weekend Fall cleaning and getting stuff moved out of the kitten room closet because I’ve decided to use the closet to put the litter boxes in, so we can hang out in the kitten room itself without worry about sitting in litter. Yesterday afternoon I went and picked up the new bunch of fosters, freshly tested and neutered/ spayed. They’re about three months old, and they were a little nervous at first, but warmed up very quickly. I named them after the people of my favorite podcast, Keith and the Girl. Chemda. Keith, doing standup while Chemda gauges audience reaction. Khalili. Patrice. Brolo. I would have named one Spooky, but we didn’t have enough boys, so I’ll save that for a future litter. ********************************* And… I am supposed to sleep where, exactly? Brudderly love. Doesn’t it just melt your heart?

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Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: No entry. 2004: No entry. 2003: I’ve SEEN Deliverance, and I have no desire to be forced to squeal like a pig. 2002: Well, duh. 2001: No entry. 2000: We like our fast food, we do.]]>