Here’s a rare treat for you – I spend a little time stalking the cats and asking them what they’re doing. What doin’? What doin’? What doin’? I sound, if I might be frank, like a complete goober, especially when I ask Newt if he’s alive. “Are yew ‘laaaaaaahv?” YouTube link   The pig section. … Continue reading “3-14-08”

Here’s a rare treat for you – I spend a little time stalking the cats and asking them what they’re doing. What doin’? What doin’? What doin’?

I sound, if I might be frank, like a complete goober, especially when I ask Newt if he’s alive. “Are yew ‘laaaaaaahv?”

YouTube link


The pig section.

Holey-moley! Being a city girl, well, suburban girl I guess, I had no ideas that pigs will get that big in 5-11 months. I have to say, I thought the pigs would be cute…. But to me they aren’t. They actually kind of gross me out. Are they going to be killed at the same time? Roughly, how much meat are they going to provide? It sounds really labor intensive to go from a live pig to pretty white packages in the freezer!!

Well, now FarmWife’s got me nervous thinking that the pigs are going to be several hundred pounds by December. Does it make a difference that we’re not confining them and feeding them out, FarmWife?

Anyway, yes – the pigs are going to be slaughtered together, and I’m told that we can expect to get 150 – 200 pounds of meat from each pig. Only one of the pigs is ours; Fred’s friend Franklin, the one who grew up on a farm and has slaughtered many pigs, is getting the other one.

Those pigs are toocute. How come they don’t have little cork-screw tails? I always thought pigs had that… I love their little grunting pig noises and their pink snouts. Too cute.

I don’t know why their tails aren’t cork-screwy. Their tails usually stick out (and when they’re eating, they tend to wag them), but every once in a while their tails are curled up. I don’t know if it’s something that comes with age, or if it depends on their mood, or what. I’ll report further as they get older!

Oh and Robyn, if you are looking for pig penis — it’s not visible from the rear, it’s in the middle of their stomach.

I can assure you – I am totally NOT looking for pig penis, nor do I intend to. 🙂


Could someone point me to the post where all the chickens were named? I still don’t know who’s who. (Aside from McLovin)

There’s no post where they were named, ’cause they don’t all have names. In fact, if you include McLovin, only three of them are named. Pictures and names are as such:

(pic) McLovin. Everyone knows McLovin!

(pic) Flappy McGee, the giant-mega-mutant-egg-laying Americauna.

(pic) Frick, the one we love the most. She’s an Americauna, too.

(pic) We have several Black Jersey Giants. We are creative, and call them “The black ones.” There was one that was kind of the runt and looked like a little ostrich, so we were calling her “Oscar” for a while, but now I can’t tell her from the other ones.

(pic) We have several Buff Orpingtons. We call them “The buffs.”

(pic) Plymouth Barred Rocks, and we have several of these as well. We call them “The specks.”

Did Fred call the hatchery and give them heck for shorting your order? Are more going to be coming or a credit being issues? For chuckles, how much does a one-day old baby chick cost?

He called and reported it, and they credited us for the ones we were shorted, the two that died in transit, and the two that died within 48 hours. It depends on what kind of chicken you get, but they cost between $2 and $3 each.

Slightly confused: Y’all get your mail at six thirty? In the A.M.? And the post office is even OPEN at that hour??? *brain reeling*

No, the post office wasn’t open, but there was someone there to receive the early morning mail shipment; they had Fred’s number because he’d called and alerted them to the fact that the chicks were coming, so as soon as they got the box o’ chicks, they called Fred. I had to pound on the door so they’d let me in, but yeah – your postal workers work hard!

How about a chick-cam? They are so cute and entertaining!

I would LOVE to have a chick-cam. It’s on our long list of stuff we want to have one day. I also want to have a cam on the front porch so I can see exactly what comes up and eats the cat food I leave there! (I suspect possums, squirrels and stray dogs and cats, but photographic evidence would be cool.)

The more I look at these pictures of the fuzzyheaded chicks, the more I want to try to pop them. That just ain’t right. Is their skull that shape, or is it all just feathers?

It’s all fuzzy little fluff, there’s no misshaped skull under there. And don’t try to pop the puffy-headed chicks or I’ll set Mister Boogers on you. I don’t think you want that.


I can’t remember… do you guys eat the chickens, or keep them solely for laying eggs?

Of the ones we ordered this time around, 12 of them were supposed to be for eating and the rest for laying eggs. Unfortunately, the 4 chicks we were shorted were meat chickens (white orpingtons), and the two that died after they got here were also meat chickens, which brings us down to 6 meat chickens. Which might be for the best – it probably wouldn’t hurt to have to only do 6 chickens when it’s killin’ time, considering it’ll be our first time.

At 00:31 through 00:33, tell me it doesn’t look like that little poufy headed chicken by the … big tall feedy thing.. whatever… is wearing a baseball cap on his head, backwards, all gangsta style.

He totally does – I hadn’t noticed that the first time around! (Here’s the movie, for those of you who didn’t see it when I posted it a few days ago.)

What do you do with the dead chicks? Please tell me you don’t feed them to the cats or chickens or pigs!

We put them gently in the trash. I feel kind of bad for admitting that – like we should have a baby chick graveyard somewhere – but that’s what we do. We’re heartless.


The The Office section.

I presume you are watching the USA version of the Office – if you can get hold of the British version, starring Ricky Gervais, I know you would love that also!

Yeah, it’s the US version of The Office we’re watching now, but we’ve seen the British version. Actually, I think we watched the entire British version in one weekend, and we liked it a lot. The first time we tried watching the US version of The Office, we weren’t crazy about it – Michael can be a little hard to take and somewhat overwhelming – but the second time was the charm.

I went to grade school through Freshman year of high school with Rainn Wilson (Dwight) in Seattle. He was awesome then, and he’s awesome now. I’m so thrilled for his success. Go Rainn!

Fred sent me a link to Rainn Wilson’s opening monologue on Saturday Night Live, and I was stunned at how non-Dwight-like he was. It’s almost like he’s an actor of something! Fred adores – ADORES – Dwight.

Not only is The Office available on Netflix, it is available for Instant Viewing. You know what that means? No waiting for the next disc!

Yeah, but then you have to watch it on your computer, don’t you? I’m not a fan of watching anything on my computer – I have to be comfy on the couch, in front of the big TV.

We have a local branch of our bank right down the road from us and I groom the manager’s dog. She has the biggest crush on Rainn Wilson. She has a bobble-head, a poster (signed), a mug for Pete’s sake. In her office. That’s some love right there.

Last Friday, Fred spent the entire day sending me Dwight quotes that he’d found online. He’s got some Dwight love going on – I might have to start stocking up on Dwight memorabilia for him.

Although I loved the British version of The Office, I HATED the American version. I guess that’s unusual?

We didn’t like the US version the first time we tried it – maybe it’s an acquired taste?

I have a friend who just got me interested in the Office. I love it so much. For April Fools day we are putting our boss’s stapler in jello. Also, my friend just got a yellow lab and named him Dwight Shrute. poor dog fits his name. They call him Shrute.

I know this is a completely dorky thing to be worried about – but wrap that stapler in plastic before you Jell-O it, would you? I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for ruining it. Unless it’s a cheap one, then Jell-O away!

The next batch MUST be named Michael, Dwight, Jim, Pam, Jan, Ryan, Kelly, Toby, etc.

I wanted to go with Pam, Angela, and Jan this time around, but Pam had already been used, so I abandoned it. I’ll have to check and see if all the names have been used, because who wouldn’t love a little kitten named Dwight?


I don’t know why, but whenever I hear your voice on your ‘movies’ it sounds so strange! Its like when you read a book and develop an idea of what the character looks/sounds like, and then they make a movie, and its not quite what you had in mind. I guess I ‘picture’ you with a southern twang, and when I read how you talk to the cats, I can totally hear myself talking that way, except my way is somewhat child-like and goofy.

I’m telling you – I really don’t have a southern accent unless I’m trying – or, apparently, talking to the cats. I don’t know what that’s about.


Totally OT but had to share…imagine my surprise when I popped in a Netflix DVD last night and all of the sudden Robyn and Fred are ON MY TV!!!! Somehow I missed the whole Penn & Teller thing a zillion years ago, so now I’m catching up on DVD. That was so cool, you crazy kids made my otherwise dull Friday evening

Yeah, Fred and I were on an episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit, the episode entitled “Eat This” from the first season (I wrote about it when it happened – hard to believe it’s been five years!) . I think it never occurred to us when we were doing the episode that it would be out there FOREVER. It was an interesting experience, but it certainly confirmed my idea that I have no desire for any kind of fame. AND THEN FLAPPY HAD TO GO LAY THAT DAMN EGG.


Robyn, I think that one day you should name a batch of kittens/cats after “Friends” characters!

I’ll have to keep that in mind – although, the idea is to use names that haven’t been used before, so if someone else has used that naming scheme, I can’t. Someone once named a couple of kittens “Jennifer Aniston” and “Angelina Jolie”, which cracked me up.


Hmmm. Could you not ship the three kittens to MA (wherever that is. I live in Vic Australia!)?? Almost worth setting up a donation site to enable people like me to help get kittens to people who would love to have them but don’t live close by.

What y’all need to keep in mind is that the kittens aren’t mine – they belong to the shelter I volunteer for. I don’t know what their policy is on adopting cats out to far locations, but they might not be up for it. One of the things you have to agree to when you adopt a kitten from the shelter is that if you ever give up the cat, it has to go back to the shelter and adopting them out to people a long distance away makes it more difficult to enforce (or expect) that. If anyone ever sees a foster kitten they’re interested in adopting, I will happily give you the name and number of the shelter manager and you can discuss the logistics with her.


You’ve never mentioned shopping at Old Time Pottery…. I am pretty sure you have one in Huntsville. It is one of my favorite stores and I was just wondering if you’ve ever been to one and like it or it’s just not your cup o’ tea.

Oh, I LOVE Old Time Pottery! There’s one in Madison, and I’ve been there several times. They have everything on earth in that store. If I ever needed to fully restock a kitchen, that’s the place I’d go, first thing. In fact, back around Thanksgiving when I was worried about finding glasses that matched, I totally should have gone there. They rock!


they don’t really scream “country kitchen”, but they’ll keep the damn moths out that’s for sure Actually the bugs to make the moths are already in there. It’s the warmth (of being out on the counter) and the food source that makes them hatch and become moths. (try not to think about it, you’ll only get grossed out!) Freeze the bags of flour, cornmeal etc for about 24 hours before storing them on the counter. I always store my flour-y things in the freezer because I go through spells of either using it all the time or not at all so I am safer storing it there.

So, if I put the flour and cornmeal in the freezer, will that kill the bugs before they hatch and take over my pantry?

It’s probably gross, but it doesn’t bother me in the slightest that there are bugs in my flour. As long as I don’t have to see them crawling around, I just don’t care.


I have to bring a dessert to work Monday for our St. Patrick’s Day party. Will the Paula Dean banana pudding be okay sitting out for a couple of hours? Will it hold up or will it turn nasty?

I can’t say for sure, but I’m afraid that the pudding would get kind of runny and warm and gross. Readers, your experiences?


How is the Spud doing? You don’t talk much about her these days and I was wondering how things are going with her?

She is doing just fine! She was working two jobs before Christmas, but they were seasonal jobs and they ended after the holiday. She applied for a lot of different jobs, and ended up back at McDonald’s. She’s not thrilled about that, but you do what you’ve gotta do. She’s sent in her application for the local community college (with the intention of starting this Fall), she’s working hard and hanging out with her Dad and stepmother, and waiting for her boyfriend (who’s in the military) to get back from training school. She’s hoping to come back to visit in the next few months, and I can’t wait to see her!


Do you have one or two quilts that are mostly pink? They seem to be made of about 3 inch squares. I think I have seen pictures of both of them with cats on them. One has more of a pattern to it than the others. Would you mind putting up pictures showing about 1/4 of the quilts? I would love to try and make something similar. Thanks!

I have two with pink in them.

(larger picture here) My mother made this for me when I was little. She thinks it’s horrible, but it’s probably one of my favorite possessions – if I’m not feeling well, that’s the blanket I want tossed over me.

(larger picture here) Fred picked this one up in an antique shop, I believe. It’s heavy and very warm.

(larger picture here) This doesn’t have pink in it, but the faded red around the edge looks kind of pinkish. It’s another of Fred’s antique store finds.

Is it one of those? If not, let me know and I’ll dig around to see if we have any quilts in hiding!


Did you ever think about going back to Tigers for Tomorrow? I guess you have enough of your own animals now.

We do plan to go back – it’s just that there’s always something to do here so we haven’t gone on many road trips. Maybe this summer I’ll be able to talk Fred into taking some time away from the farm for a trip back there.


Are you giving autographs?

I totally thought the cashiers were going to ask for my autograph in the grocery store!


I have a blog and I just got a visit from Saudi Arabia! My question is where is the farthest away that you have been visited from?

That… is an excellent question! I don’t really know the answer to that, but I can tell you that around 10:30 last night, someone from Hobart, Tasmania was on my site (helloooooooooo Tasmania!). I can give you a quick photographic (in the form of a screen capture of a Sitemeter graphic) representation of some of my readers, though.


One day, I’m going to travel around the world and visit all of you.


If you ever run out of things to write about in a given week, you could put a call out for all us orange tabby owners to send pics! It’s probably a big pain in the ass for you, but I’m curious to see how others’ orange kittehs look.

I’m actually thinking of having y’all send me your pet pictures (not just orange tabbies – and not just cats, for that matter!) and putting them all on a page together.


Have you watched Real Housewives of New York? I can’t remember their names, yet, but the tall very skinny blonde making her babies learn to speak French? Holy Jesus, I would like to slap her!!!!! Wow, and I thought the Orange County girls were over the top!

I did finally watch the first two episodes of the show, and I have to say, that is QUITE a show. If I ever started worrying about my social status, I encourage y’all to throw me off the nearest cliff. The only NYC housewife who doesn’t seem like a complete insecure mess desperately trying to climb up the social ladder is the countess (whose name I cannot recall. LuAnn, maybe?).

Ramona is completely annoying, she dresses far too young for her age (does no one on TV understand the concept of growing old gracefully?) and her husband seems like a sleaze.

Jill has a grating voice, she was totally trying to wring some drama out of that idiotic cooking-party situation with Ramona, and the relationship between her husband and her daughter is awkward and strained and weird, and she needs to stop pushing them into a close relationship and let them find their own common ground (“Go give Bobby a huuuug!”). Also, her daughter is completely adorable and someone needs to tell her that SHE IS NOT FAT. Way to set up the child for an eating disorder, Jill. Start her young!

The token single girl (whose name I cannot recall) is a mess, with her concern about where her relationship is going and whether her boyfriend’s parents approve. She’s also got the squarest jaw I’ve ever seen on a human being in my life.

And Alex – oh my good god almighty, Alex. She and her weird husband and the shopping and his overwhelming concern and putting together outfits for her, and the desperate need to climb up that social ladder. When they were in St. Bart’s, first of all, I did NOT need to see her husband in a bikini and second of all, the whole “I am the luckiest girl in the world and we are so in love and life is perfect” bullshit? Please. Any time someone feels the need to go on about how in love they are and how perfect their life is, that sets off my bullshit alarms all over the place. And it’s none of my business, but where do they get their money? From what I could see, he’s the manager of a hotel and she’s a graphic designer. They’re spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on clothes? What’s up with that?

My favorite “character” in that show has to be Roseann the countess’s housekeeper. Every time they show her long-suffering face, it cracks me up.


You both have such pleasant voices! Somehow not at all like I expected you to sound (not that I expected you to sound unpleasant.) I listened to the blooper reel and your potty-mouthedness seems so incongruous in your sweet-sounding voice.

Oh, how I love the incongruity of having a girly voice and swearing like a sailor. I know that no one who sees me in the store or working in the yard would ever suspect my love for the many variations on the word “fuck.”

I would listen, if you guys decided you wanted to do regular Crooked Acres podcasts.

I don’t know if I’ll ever convince Fred to do a podcast (he hates his voice, I don’t know why because I think it’s quite a nice voice), but I have toyed with the idea of doing a weekly reading of a journal entry. The idea of reading this journal entry, in particular, makes me giggle.

I don’t know. Is there anything in particular y’all want to hear me – or us – say?

In the blooper reel, when you were making fun and reciting your line, you sounded just like Peggy Hill from King of The Hill.

Ha – I can definitely hear the resemblance!


You have mentioned before about using a brine for your turkey – do you really taste a huge difference? Do you have a favorite recipe? Is it a huge pain in the rump to make?

I used this recipe to make a brined turkey – it calls for a turkey breast, but I’m pretty sure I made the entire turkey using that recipe. It definitely made a much moister turkey than I was used to, and it’s certainly worth the effort.

HOWEVER, I have since learned an even easier trick to getting a nice moist turkey. It’s something I stumbled across accidentally, but it’s apparently something some professional cooks recommend – roasting the turkey breast-side down instead of breast-side up. Apparently the fat from the dark meat kind of bastes the dryer white meat, and it is FABULOUS.


I just wanna squoosh her.

They’re so happy in the sun.

Sleepy baby.

Yummy water.

All three girlies in a row.

She loves that feather toy.

The little pink nose and lips kill me.


Tommy’s praising the lord.


2007: No entry.
2006: They are SO pretty to look at, but my GOD do they stink.
2005: Questions answered.
2004: No entry.
2003: Yeah, don’t look at me. I have no idea what goes on his head, either.
2002: I think I could kick her ass, personally, and I’d be happy to do it. Bitch.
2001: “That’s okay,” I said cheerfully. “Those things are a pain in the big butt, aren’t they?”
2000: Fred sings again.