Y’all are some grumpy motherfuckers, aren’t you? Your comments yesterday cracked me UP.
I have to admit that loud chewers can get on my nerves, too. I can be guilty of chomping my gum too loudly (but usually only when I’m agitated!)
Lisa, I agree with you about Jorja Fox, she’s got quite the smackable face!
I have to agree with Leonore’s comment:
I teach writing and English lit at a community college. You know it’s bad when “could of” isn’t even the most annoying mistake anymore (though it will always produce the same apoplexy in me as it does in Robyn, I’m sure, as will their/there/they’re, your/you’re, and many others). See, there’s a new trend for people to forget that an essay is NOT, in fact, A CELL PHONE!! and so they feel perfectly comfortable writing such things as: “Their are ways u can help urself quit a bad habit coz sum ppl don’t know to quit and its bad to keep doing that habit.” The vein starts to twitch when I see the letter u sitting all by itself. I refuse to use it even on the very rare occasion that I text anyone on an actual call phone (maybe once every other month?) Even my 42-year-old sister is started to speak in text shortcuts! STOP IT! I SAID STOP!
The happiest day of my life (okay, maybe the happiest day of my week) was when I got a cell phone with a keyboard on it, so I can easily type out text messages without having to resort to “u” and “4” and “did u get ur msg?” and the like.
Rachel hates the word “undies” – I can’t say I care for it either, but “panties” annoys me even more.
Leslie: People who ask, “Where is it at?” Hello-o-o, you don’t need to add a useless preposition to the end of the question. Also – this really bugs me: If I am in a store and I say thank you to the cashier or bagger, and the automatic is, “No problem.” I didn’t THINK I was causing a problem by expecting you to do your job. I was just being polite, and the correct response is “YOU’RE WELCOME.” Also: Road Boulders – people who drive at or below the speed limit in the fast lane, so everyone else has to pass them on the right.
That reminds me that “We’re going to the store. You wanna go with?” bugs the shit out of me. Why not just “You wanna go?” Why you gotta add that “with” on the end? IT’S WASTEFUL. Also, I rarely say “You’re welcome,” it was beaten into me (figuratively speaking) when I worked at McDonald’s as a teenager that you answer “Thank you” with “Thank YOU!”, and it’s kind of a knee-jerk reaction for me. It’s not obnoxious, is it? The bagger at the grocery store always looks a little surprised when I thank her after she’s thanked me.
Cara: Pet peeves: People walking around in the grocery store talking on a cell — not just a brief chat, but long, drawn-out conversations/shouting-matches/etc. Don’t they realize EVERYONE can hear what they are saying? Sigh.
God yes, and the people who talk on their cell phone while they’re checking out. And they don’t END the call or say “Let me call you back,” they just keep talking because they are just THAT important. I can’t count how many times I’ve been in line behind someone holding a Very Important Conversation and rolled my eyes at the poor cashier.
Michelle: You can also add these games for my twitch factor: “I know I heard a cat barfing somewhere, now WHERE IS IT?” and “Stop it stop it STOP IT with the growling and hissing and chasing I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!”
What’s worse than knowing there’s cat barf in the house and not being able to find it is NOT knowing it’s there, and stepping in it. Gah.
Val: It’s “Good, Good, Good” that makes me twitch. A former boss said it all the time. He wasn’t a good boss. I can take Good, Good, but throw that 3rd good in the mix and my skin crawls and my ears bleed.
I say “Good, good, good,” but only when I am extremely super over-the-top pissed off. Imagine that the last “good” is bellowed at the top of my lungs.
Aimee: Everyone’s twitchy grammar stuff reminds me of what the girl at mcdonald’s said to me yesterday. “here goes your coke.”
Were you tempted to say “Where’s it going? Can I go too?” Hee.
Elaine: Ah man, I am with Devil on the “could care less” twitch. I run through the difference in my mind EVERY time I hear someone say it. Must be my little OCD issue. I cannot stand constant motion. Why for the love of God is it impossible for some people to be still, if only for a minute or two? I hate that only women are shown singing to their toilets on television. I am sure there are men out there that burst into song everytime they get to stick their scrubby paws into the toilet. Supposebly. ARRRGGGHHHH. I hate corporate speak. Some ahole is always going to Tee Up some Low Hanging Fruit for a Shot on Goal while we get Granular and Organic on some project. Help me Obi Wan.
“Supposably” reminds me of the episode of Friends when Chandler said something about idiots who use the word, and then after he left the room, Joey repeats it to himself a few times, and then nods like he knows it’s the right word. I sure do miss Friends. ::sigh::
Leanne: Anyone who uses the term “ax” as in, “I axed you a question”. !? Add to that “fustrated” and “subbosably”. I swear I am THIS CLOSE to murdering stupid people when they insist on talking like IDIOTS.
My friend Liz cracks me up because she (jokingly) likes to say “If you don’t know, you better AX SOMEONE!”
Also Leanne: As well, as a basement dweller, my issue is with people who live in upstairs apartments who have no consideration for the people below them.
When I was pregnant with the spud, my ex-husband and I lived in a basement apartment, and the woman who lived upstairs got up every morning at 5:00, and she apparently IMMEDIATELY put her heels on, and she walked back and forth. And back and forth. And back and forth. One morning I counted how many times she stomped back and forth, and it was about 40 trips back and forth across the kitchen – which was directly above our bedroom.
To my surprise, no one brought up the usage of quotation marks when they’re not called for – such as the recent sign I saw that proclaimed We don’t take “checks.”
There were lots of good comments yesterday, those are just a few of them. Y’all ought to check them out if you’re not in the habit of reading them regularly!
Thanks, you guys, for your hand lotion suggestions. I’ve written them down, and I will start working my way down the list ’til I find something that works for me. If I’m lucky, the first thing I try will work. A girl can dream, right?
So, I got plenty done yesterday, despite the fact that it was too freakin’ cold outside and I didn’t want to do anything but go back to bed. I did lots of cleaning, plenty of laundry, and I even cleaned a window or two. I’m not going to go overboard* cleaning, because the house is really in pretty good shape, just needs dusting and decluttering. I moved a bunch of stuff around in the front room, and I think the side of the front room we never use looks a lot better.
I think we ought to put up a wall to divide off the unused portion of the front room and turn it into another cat room or a sitting room or something. It’s going to waste the way it is right now, but I’m at a loss what else to do over there. We spend the majority of our day in the computer room, and just a couple of hours in the evening in the front room – there’s that whole unused space over there. It’s a CRYING SHAME, is what it is.
One thing I never did do yesterday is take my jeans off the clothesline. They’ve been there drying for three days now. I wonder if the neighbors shake their heads at how long I leave stuff on the line sometimes. I bought a tote bag at the Hard Rock Cafe back at Christmas time, and I think it’s made out of recycled material (or mostly recycled material). I don’t know what the problem is, but that bag fucking REEKS. I ran it through the washer twice and have let it hang on the line for three and a half months, and it still stinks.
It’s like Nance’s Purse o’ Stank, now that I think of it! I’m such a freakin’ copycat. I’m sure that next I’ll get myself a MacBook.
Maybe I’ll just turn the damn bag into a clothespin bag and let it live out on the line. Except then would it transfer The Stank to the clothespins and ultimately to the clothes the clothespins are holding on the line? I guess we’ll see.
*Remind me I said that when I’m frantically scrubbing under the bed in the guest bedroom and alphabetizing my lotions Thursday morning, would you?
Ezra can’t quite seem to get over the lip of the kitty condo…
“Ezra, give me your paws! I’ll help pull you up!”
“It sure is a long way down…”
Jasper: “Can’t… pull… you… up. You’re too heavy! Caleb! Get something soft for Ezra to land on!”
Ezra: “I have so much to live for! I’m so young! I haven’t even had my snack today! I don’t want to die!”
Caleb: “I likes to chew on this rope.”
“Hold on, brother! I won’t let go of you!”
Jasper: “Can’t… hold… on! My grasp is slipping!”
Ezra: “TELL MOM I LOVE HER IF YOU EVER SEE HER AGAIN! TELL HER I MADE SOMETHING OF MYSELF! TELL HER I WAS A CONTENDUH!”
Jasper: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
Ezra: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
Caleb: “This is just some tasty, tasty rope. I wonder if it’s some of that special Italian rope?”
Ezra: “Huh.”
Jasper: “He’s alive! He’s ALIVE! IT’S A MIRACLE!”
During the time before we let the fosters out into the house, we need a way to stop them from getting away when we open the door to the room where they are. We were using a box, but it was flimsy. I tried to get Fred to build something for me, but before he got around to it, I saw the fireplace screen and a lightbulb went on over my head. It’s the right size, the kittens can’t push it over, and they don’t really try to climb it. It’s perfect!
You’ll note that they’re all trying to get Tommy’s attention, but he cannot be bothered to give them the time of day.
Previously
2008: Detective Boogerton, the grizzled, cranky veteran detective who has seen it all, is disgruntled that his day off has been interrupted.
2007: No entry.
2006: FYI.
2005: Meme.
2004: Lime green would work.
2003: I called Fred at one point and said “Maybe it’s SARS!”
2002: Well, you can just bite my coconut-scented, soft, smooth, butt.
2001: No entry.
2000: No entry.