Mother Nature is a whore. Seriously. That’s what it looks like out there right this second. LE SIGH.
The dogs are out running the perimeter, which surprised me since in this sort of weather they’re usually lazybonesed up in the coop.
Oh well. At least the snow isn’t supposed to stick around for long.
(Huh. Apparently it snowed last March 1st, too. Fucking Mother Nature.)
It is apparently Elwood’s goal in life to stand or sit or lay so that his asshole is directly against me. I feel like I spend the majority of my life fending off his back end.
Speaking of assholes, here are a couple of entries in the “Christ, what an asshole” category:
I AM DENISE ALBERT AND I HAVE A CHILD AND NO ONE HAS EVER BIRTHED A CHILD IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANKIND BEFORE, THEREFORE I AM SUPER IMPORTANT BOW TO ME. (She later said, after everyone posted comments talking about what a self-important asshole she is, that she was trying to be funny. DOUBT IT.)
After years of shooting her mouth off to everyone who would listen – and I believe she even wrote a BOOK – about her autistic child who became autistic (in her opinion) due to his MMR vaccinations, and then about how the Healing Powers of Jim Carrey HEE-UHLED! her child, it turns out that self-appointed Voice of Concern Dr. Jenny McCarthy is reversing her position.
I think it’s likely that her exact words were “Oopsie! Nevermind!”
(Please note that I DO NOT CARE whether you vaccinate your child or not. It’s your decision; I vaccinated mine, and I’d do it again. But for the love of god, do research and rely on information from reputable sources rather than from the fucking Hollywood flavor of the moment.)
One day last week, the cats kept leaping up on top of the canning cabinet (which we use as a pantry, at least until we get the Amish-built pantry that has been sitting in the garage for NINE MONTHS into the house) and staring intently at the wall. I was all “What the FUCK has gotten into you fuckers? GET DOWN!”, but finally Fred realized that there was something going on inside the wall.
There was something moving around in the wall, and it sounded like it was trapped and couldn’t get out.
You can imagine how thrilled I was at the idea that something was trapped inside the wall and couldn’t get out, would ultimately die, and stank up the kitchen.
(Also, probably it was a mouse, and the mice around here are awfully cute. Not that I want one living – or dying – in the walls, you understand.)
We cleared everything off the top of the canning cabinet/ pantry, and Fred went out to his workshop to get a saw.
Newt kept an eye on the wall from close-up.
Suggie kept an eye on the goings-on from across the room.
The mouse in the wall got quiet while Fred was out in his workshop, but when I knocked on the wall, it would start moving around again. It sounded pretty much like it was leaping upward, trying to grab hold of something.
Fred came in from his workshop, and though I’d expected he’d gone out to retrieve some sort of handheld saw to saw a hole through the wall so we could rescue the trapped animal, what he actually came in with was a circular saw. (At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what it was – it had a round blade, and I’ve heard mention of circular saws before, so I put two and two together.)
“That mouse is going to drop dead from a heart attack when you turn that thing on and start sawing,” I said to Fred.
We debated on whether or not Fred should go ahead and cut the hole in the wall, then decided to wait and see if the mouse could figure out a way out on its own. About ten minutes later, we realized we hadn’t heard any more noises from inside the wall. Fred pounded on the wall and waited. Nothing. We waited a little while longer, heard nothing, and – most telling – the cats all lost interest in the wall.
Too bad, though. I’m sure I would have had QUITE the tale if he’d actually had to cut a hole in the wall and tried to grab a mouse to save it. I bet he would have dropped it, and one of the cats would have gotten hold of it and ran off into the house.
Oh well. I’m sure there’ll be other mice (unfortunately).
Jake and Elwood love to hang out in the foster room on sunny days.
Previously
2009: March came in like a lion yesterday.
2008: No entry.
2007: “Yes, they’re AWFUL. They taste like my grandmother’s attic*!”
2006: I call him Bob.
2005: Bouncing like that just can’t be a good thing.
2004: “DAMN it’s cold in here, give me some ass!”
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: Let’s just hope she wasn’t preparing him for the slaughter.
2000: No entry.