4/26/06

Tuesday Three (a day late). List three movies you could watch over and over again: 1) When Harry Met Sally. 2) O Brother, Where Art Thou? 3) Braveheart List three things you’d like to do before you die: 1) Bungee jump. 2) Sky dive. 3) Zorb. List three people who have helped influence who you are today: 1) My parents. 2) My siblings. 3) Fred and the Spud.

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Around 1:30 Tuesday morning I was woken from a very deep sleep by someone knocking on my bedroom door, or calling to me or in some way waking me up. I flailed around to get free of the kitty blanket I was under (Mister Boogers pinning me down on one side, Miz Poo on the other, and Sugarbutt somewhere in the middle), and took my earplug out. I saw the spud standing in the doorway, looking at me. “I think I might be getting an ear infection,” she said. “Oh, does your ear hurt?” I said stupidly. “Yes,” she said, wisely opting not to say something smartass to me, like Fred would have in her place. “Okay,” I said, and had to stop and think for a moment. “Go take a couple of aspirin, and I’ll call the doctor’s office in the morning and get an appointment.” “Okay,” she said. “Don’t go to school,” I said, figuring I’d probably be able to get an appointment for her pretty early in the morning. “Okay,” she said again, and went back to bed. It took me forever to get back to sleep – perhaps due to the fact that Sugarbutt spent the next hour kneading and licking my neck – and I slept fitfully for the rest of the night. When I got up around 8, I knocked on the spud’s door and asked her if her ear still hurt. She stared off into space and pushed on her ear a few times. “A little,” she said. “Okay, I’m going to go call the doctor’s office,” I said. “Should I go ahead and take my shower?” she asked. “Yeah, and get ready to go,” I said, envisioning that they might give me an appointment in the next hour. I called the doctor’s office, told them I needed the next possible appointment, and found that they didn’t have anything available until 1:45. I took that, and figured the spud could just hang out and catch up on her sleep – she didn’t get much sleep last weekend, between working and the prom and the seeing of the boyfriend – but when I told her they couldn’t fit her in ’til 1:45, she got upset. “I’m going to miss all that school?!” she said, aghast. (Which only confirmed my belief that she’s an alien child. Because what child, given the choice, wouldn’t be THRILLED to miss a day of school?) “Well, I can drop you off at school and pick you up at 1:30 for your appointment,” I offered, but the look on her face made it clear that that was not an appealing thought. “I’m going to miss my Spanish test!” she said. “Well, then you’ll make it up tomorrow,” I said. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back in a while.” I was putting my sneakers on when she came out into the garage and asked if I could take her to school and pick her up later for her appointment. I could, and I did. So we got to the appointment on time, and they called her back to the examining room right on time, and I sat in the waiting room and waited. And waited. And waited. When it had been a little more than an hour, the spud came out and told me that she had strep throat. Strep throat! I had no idea, though in retrospect I realized that her voice was kind of husky. But according to the nurse practitioner, her throat was very red and her ear – the one that hurt – was kind of red. In fact, they had to flush the wax out of her ears, and she apparently got a lecture about using q-tips in her ears. Poor spud. She doesn’t have to miss any more school, though, and I guess that’s a good thing!
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Y’all KNOW how much I love my DVR, right? Well, I still love it, only it has this weird habit that is rapidly getting all over my nerves. Two minutes before it’s about to start taping something, a little box pops up and it says “In two minutes (whatever) will start taping.” It stays there for about ten seconds, and then disappears. So the other night we were watching something – I don’t remember what – and the box popped up. “In two minutes, So NoTORIous will start taping,” it read. Fred opened his mouth. “SHUT. UP,” I said. So, in essence, the fucking DVR TATTLED on me. Why didn’t it just SAY “Hey, Fred, want to know what stupid fucking thing your wife is taping NOW?”? Because he ALWAYS has to know what’s taping. He sees the red light on the DVR and says “What are you taping NOW?” Now, if I might ask, what bidness is it of HIS? It’s not like I make him watch all the stuff I watch – no, I watch most of the crap I tape on my own, during the day, while he’s at work, so he won’t whine about how Dr. Phil’s voice is making his head hurt. But still, “What are you taping NOW?” he says. “I don’t KNOW,” I always say, because (a) I usually don’t remember; the magic of the DVR is that you can SET IT and FORGET IT and (b) If I answer with “The Real Housewives of Orange County” or whatever, he will mock me and then I’ll have to swear at him, and it is oh-so-tiring to come up with new and inventive swears all the time. Stupid tattletale DVR.
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A few weeks ago I realized we were running low on checks, and so I went to ChecksInTheMail.com, which is where I’d ordered the last batch from. I was going to go with the plain, boring safety blue checks we already had, but I got to looking around and, well…
What’s better than a Sugarbutt on a check? That’s right – NOTHIN’! (I got return address labels, too, while I was at it!)
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“Ah, zees lahf. Eet ees so hard. So hard to be a tubby Tommy in zees lahf.”
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Previously 2005: E’gar goes into the shop. 2004: I must be mumbling or something today. Everyone I’ve spoken to has looked at me like I’m speaking French and they can’t understand what the hell I’m saying. 2003: No entry. 2002: Blah blah blah. 2001: No entry. 2000: “Um… you mean, she lies on your butt to muffle your farts?” he ventured.]]>

20 thoughts on “4/26/06”

  1. Glad to hear that Spud got treated before she felt too sick – I always seem to get Strep Throat and let it totally disable me before I go to the doctor and that sucks.
    I laughed about your “kitty blanket”. I only had one cat growing up but getting out of bed always involved trying to figure how to get out from under her since she was draped over me sound asleep.

  2. Was it a “use q-tips” or “never use q-tips” lecture? Because my husband is holding on to some speech given to him as a child about never using q-tips and it drives me crazy when his ears get nasty. I’m not up on current medical opinion.

  3. Oh my God, Robyn, the TiVo tattles on me, too!! My fiance mostly wants to know why I’m taping Supernanny when we don’t have kids (I can’t explain it either, but I’m deeply addicted), “Oh my God, is this, like, the HUNDREDTH season of Survivor or what?!?”, and “Ooohhh, is it the end of the world AGAIN?!” (I love the worst disaster tsunami firestorm hurricane meteors hitting the earth we’re all gonna die stuff on Discovery).
    But, alas, my love for TiVo is deep and unconditional. But it needs a Stop Snitchin’ shirt.

  4. I hope the Spud feels better!
    Gah, I want Sugarbutt checks!!!! Or maybe Miz Poo, glaring out from the check with her swollen lip…
    Yeah, I know…use my own cats… 😉

  5. & did I miss something? I thought the Spud & the Boyfriend broke up? Maybe I was dreaming.

  6. Your Alien daughter and my alien daughter must have crash landed together. Laura WILL NOT miss a days school. She was sick a few months ago and I swear to God, no lie, she looked like Land of the living dead walking around and she would not stay home. Now, I know it isn’t because she is afraid of missing a test, what it is is that she is afraid that this girl will say something about that girl and she will miss out on it. Priorities girl, priorities! About the only time I can get her to miss school is if I tell her I am going to go to Lexington to go shopping… then she wants to skip.. blah.
    *Whines* I want a DVR… my cable company sucks!

  7. Jaime: It was a “never use q-tips” lecture. One I heard as a kid, and ignored!
    Shelly: I liked it, but I think I’m going to wait ’til there’s a marathon, tape them all, and watch them back-to-back!

  8. I liked “So NoTORIous” too, but keep forgetting to watch. My husband knows better than to mock too strenuously!
    I want to Zorb so badly — we saw it a few years ago on “The Amazing Race” and I am dying to try it!

  9. Was the nurse implying that you get strep from using Q-tips?? Gawd I hope not! Grrrr!!!!!
    I hope the Spud feels better! Make sure she takes ALL the antibiotics!
    ~~~A public service announcement brought to you by your blog stalker/resident Microbiologist who is committed to the prevention of mutant bacteria…~~~ =)
    P.S. I am SOOOOO glad that Jo is leaving stupid old-man-full-of-himself-with-American Express Black card-Slade! Orange County Rules!

  10. Clarise: I don’t think so; I think she was saying that part of the reason the spud’s ear hurt was because she was using q-tips, maybe? That, or it was just a generic “Don’t use q-tips!” lecture. OR she asked the spud if she ever used q-tips and the spud told her she did! 🙂

  11. Robyn, I also have a DVR and it doesn’t tattle on me but it doesn’t listen. I always set my shows to only record the first showing of each new episode, but inevitably, it will record the episode every. single. time. it airs. So, if I record something like Top Chef and tell it “Only new episodes”, it ALWAYS records all of them so I have to go in every day and clean out all of the stuff I’ve already seen that was repeated at 1 am, 3 am, 6 am, and so forth. I wondered if you have this problem too?

  12. On my DVR, when the little warning comes up, you can hit the Exit button to make it go away immediately instead of floating there, waiting to tattle on you. Just make sure you’re holding the remote at 2 minutes before the hour!

  13. I thought strep throat was one of those nasty contagious diseases that you had to take antibiotics for and therefore had to stay away from other people until you’ve been on antibiotics for 24 hours. That’s what the infection control people at the hosptial where I work told me but maybe they just don’t want me spreading my germs among patients whose immune systems are probably not 100%.

  14. I just got back from Wal-Mart after picking up my prescription for Amoxicillian for MY strep throat.. I guess its going around huh? LOL

  15. That same thing happened to me! And it was for so notorious too. and the tiara one and 8th and ocean on mtv.
    when will I stop watching these train wreck shows?

  16. I have never laughed harder at a captioned cat picture. Tears, I’m laughing so hard.
    I’m a daily reader but I almost never comment. This time I just had to let you know how perfectly you captured the expression on Tommy’s face.

  17. The q-tip thing is a ‘Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear’ lecture. Not that I ever listened to that….
    Hope the Spud gets better soon.

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