4/27/06

reading: Blood Memory, by Greg Iles. Finished recently: Dancing in the Dark, by Mary Jane Clark. Pretty good book, but I think the ending was a wee bit predictable – at least, I figured it out beforehand, and I don’t generally do that very often, so probably to your more discerning reader it was even more obvious. I enjoyed it, though – Mary Jane Clark books read very, very fast.

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Yesterday, in and amongst a bunch of errand-running, I got a chance to sit down and watch a little TV. I was in the mood to watch TV since it was pouring outside and a kind of cool, so it was perfect weather to sit on the couch under the lap quilt and a cat or two and clear off the DVR some. I watched what ended up being a very interesting episode of Oprah (lately, I delete more episodes of Oprah than I watch, because it seems like Dr. Robin Smith is on there ALL the freakin’ time. Now, I LIKE Dr. Robin Smith, but she does go on and on sometimes, so even though I like her – I do! – I find myself saying “Okay, Dr. Robin Smith, we get the idea, she’s trying to fill her hole ( ::juvenile snicker:: ) with food or THINGS or men or whatever, can we MOVE ON?”) entitled Class in America. And the more I watched people talk about how they look at someone and decide, due to their bad teeth or cheap clothing or weight that they’re “lower class”, the more interested I got. Because anyone who looked at Fred and I out in public would never in ten million years guess that we have the yearly income that we have. We drive inexpensive cars, we wear fairly inexpensive clothes, I don’t carry a Louis Vuitton bag or wear expensive jewelry (or ANY jewelry, for that matter), and he doesn’t wear Armani suits. The only thing that might give away our income is the frequency with which we update our electronics (more frequent than the average person, I’d guess) and the house we live in – and we actually live in a house that we had no problem at all getting a mortgage on, because we would have been approved for a house almost twice the price of this one. And next year we’ll be selling this house and hopefully buying an even less expensive one, because we’d rather have a smaller house that we own after 10 years than a big, expensive house we have to pay on for 30 years. We have pretty inexpensive hobbies – books and movies, and the kayaks we bought are a one-time purchase – and we put away a lot of money every month toward retirement and our future. And I love the fact that if someone looked at me while I was wandering through the mall or whatever, they’d have no idea that I’m married to a man who brings in the amount of money he brings in, that they might look at me and disregard me as being “lower class”, because I think that gives me an advantage. Because I don’t need Betty Sue in the mall to be impressed by me, and thus I don’t need to dress like I want to impress (and not having a life where I NEED to impress strangers is a blessing, as far as I’m concerned, as is having a personality that is uninterested in whether strangers are impressed by me and my stuff) and not having to live up to expectations from other people is freeing. If you gave me $10,000 right now and told me to spend it however I wanted, I’d probably buy a new laptop (much smaller than the one we have), clear off my Amazon wish list, and then I’d have one hell of a time trying to figure out what else to buy – well, except I’d probably be all “More cats!” and Fred would have to threaten to divorce me. The older I get, the more importance I – we both – place on being able to take care of ourselves when we’re old and decrepit. Would I like to have one of those really cool phones you can send and receive email on, or one of those iPods with a video screen so I could watch TV shows and videos? Well, of COURSE I would, because they’re badass and cool – but I don’t need them, because I’m hardly ever that far from home. (If anyone would like to offer me a job wherein you pay me a lot of money and I do a lot of traveling, necessitating the purchase of said cool stuff, just say the word. I have no skillz, but I’m a quick learner!) The kicker about this whole thing is that I fully realize that the only reason I’m in a comfortable financial situation at this point is because I happened to fall in love with a man who is brilliant and extremely good at what he does, and what he does is very specialized and there are people out there who realize how good he is at what he does and are willing to pay him well for it. It’s just circumstance that I’m in this position, and I realize how lucky I am (though Oprah says there’s no such thing as “luck”, it’s just… something meeting opportunity? What the hell does she say? I don’t remember!) and you’d better believe I feel plenty guilty from time to time at the fact that I stumbled into a comfortable life. I don’t guess I really know what my point is, here. Maybe that next time you look at someone and disregard them as being in a lower class than you are, the truth might amaze you.
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And speaking of money and all that, we finally decided it was time to take all the change from our big-ass 5-gallon water bottle (remember, the one we’ve been tossing our change into for the past 6 years or so?), turn it in, and send it off to our account at Emigrant Direct, so that instead of just sitting there in the water bottle until it’s time to go on our 10th anniversary trip, the change could be earning some interest. I know and you know that you want to know how much that change ended up being. Ready for this? $1600. Worth of change. That Fred had to cart into the credit union and put in the change machine. And which is now earning interest along with the money we send away every payday to the same account, so that in two years when we’re ready for the honeymoon we never had, we are going to be ALL SET. The only thing we need to do now is decide where exactly the hell we want to go. We were going to go to the Bahamas, because Fred wanted to stay at the Atlantis, but then he looked at room prices and found that they are incredibly expensive. So we talked about San Juan, and we talked about Hawaii (the only down side being the plane ride) and we talked about the Grand Caymans, and we talked about the Virgin Islands (very expensive, apparently), and we talked about taking a 7-day cruise that would hit the Virgin Islands, among other places, but I don’t know yet exactly what we’re going to do. I guess we don’t have to decide just yet, since we have another couple of years. Beach vacation, pretty (warm) water, and if there are mountains for Fred to climb, so much the better – where should we go? I know you have suggestions, leave ’em in the comments!
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This is your brain on drugs.
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Previously 2005: Spot let out a sad, drawn-out demon-from-hell sound. 2004: Meme-licious. 2003: No entry. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: I live to please you, my beloved readers.]]>

53 thoughts on “4/27/06”

  1. I’m reading Blood Memory right now as well. I find the author to be an extremely wordy writer, so much so that I find I skim quite a bit.
    Are you enjoying this one? This is the first one of his that I have read, but my mom loves his work.
    I would have guess $700 in that water bottle. Holy Crap.

  2. I tape Oprah too and loved that episode. Made me feel worse about being ‘overweight’
    Luckily I speak well, have presentable teeth and I’m educated.
    However I have horrible credit. I think everyone would be shocked at how much we make and why we live like we do… We should be in a house 3x the size but our credit is so bad we just stay where we are.
    Its so funny about class. I know people who put up ‘appearances’ and I’ve never had the need to try. I have been working on the finances.
    And robyn I don’t think you had us readers fooled 🙂

  3. Definitely go on a cruise to the Caribean, it’s the best way to see all the islands and there’s so many things to do!

  4. I just went to Mexico on my honeymoon and loved it. Plenty of nice beaches to relax on, and in the Cancun area where we stayed, plenty of trips to Mexican ruins that Fred can climb and take pictures of. Perfect compromise and not too expensive. We stayed at an all inclusive resort and booked the outside trips through our travel agent.

  5. Caribbean cruise sounds nice! Or what about an Alaskan cruise? I hear those are awesome… 😀

  6. The Oprah thing is “Preparation meeting opportunity”. Yeah, I watch her way too much.
    Any of those vacations sound nice. I’m going to have to start tossing my change in something to see how much I can save up because I could definitely use a vacation in about 5 years.

  7. I vote for Costa Rica – lots of hiking and wildlife, plus nice beaches.
    Or Canada? We have beaches here, and it gets hot in the summer. Come on! We’d love to have you visit!

  8. I’ll say this about expensive hotel rooms- It’s been my experience that they are absolutely worth it and even if you don’t spend a lot of time in the room, they’re nice to come home to at the end of a day.
    I am particularly fond of Kapalua Bay Hotel in Maui. The hotel has amazing ocean view rooms, the snorkling off their beach is really good AND! you can rent kayaks at the hotel, too. Oh- one more thing, there’s a restaurant at the hotel that is the best sushi I’ve ever had in my entire life. In fact, after we go to Maui I’m sort of ruined for sushi and seafood in general for a few months because of how good it is. (Sensei)

  9. Well, my husband and I went on a cruise for our 25th wedding anniversary. I must say that they are the ultimate vacation, and they pretty much have something for everyone. I wouldn’t hesitate to go again given the chance. We happened to go to the Bahamas as one of our cruise stops, and spent some time at the Atlantis resort. Man, that place is beautiful!! Plus, this IS your honeymoon, and even though its expensive, its worth the money!! It’s a once in a lifetime thing. Plus Paradise island is absolutely beautiful! I say go on a 3-day cruise to the Bahamas, spend a day or two at Atlantis, and cruise back home! Lucky you.

  10. I’ve read for a long time, but have never commmented. Costa Rica is gorgeous. And like y’all, I’ve been very fortunate but I also live well below my means now which means shopping sales, looking for deals, etc. I learned the hward way, but was lucky enough to be able to recover.
    Besides, like the saying goes (paraphrase), in 10 or 20 years, people won’t remember what you drove, what you wore or where you lived, but they will remember how you treated them and how you lived your life.

  11. I definitely vote for the Carribean cruise. My husband and I took a five day cruise for our honeymoon and we had the time of our lives.
    We’re planning on taking a longer cruise for our 10th anniversary in three years.

  12. I love cruises.
    I love the fact that I don’t have to worry about deciding what/where to go for dinner.
    I love that you can do really challenging shore excursions, like an all day mountain bike ride through the hills of belize. Or kayak around the shores of honduras and see the fish before you grab a quick bite and then grab your snorkel gear and see the sea turtles.
    Or you can do less challenging things like tubing down a natural rock-slide/waterfall thingy. Or go jeeping. Or just go on a nice 1 hour group hike to see mayan ruins.
    Norwiegan cruise lines has boats where you can choose a more “intimate” setting. Most ships have 2 dinner mealtimes, early and late, and because of the lack of space, you get paired with people you don’t know (same people, same table every night). But on norwiegan (and possibly others) you can decline this, and say you just want to sit with Fred.
    We did both the eastern carribean and the western carribean. I’d go again in a heartbeat.
    definitely research the shore excursions before you make your decision though. They can make or break your trip.
    feel free to email me if you have questions!

  13. I would agree with Catie that you could do a lot in Maui. We went last summer and had a blast {HOWEVER}, you would probably get more bang for you buck if you went to an all-inclusive Mexican retreat. You can upgrade to tour hotspots and what-not for relatively cheap…and you don’t have to worry about the price of food and drinks. Just to fly and sleep in Maui for a week (no food included) cost DOUBLE what my best friend did in a Cancun all-inclusive.
    That being said…if you can afford it (and by reading your entry you could ;)), the sunset off of the beach in McKenna (Maui) is breathtaking.
    …And Waillea has the only Tiffany’s that you can walk into wearing a bathing suit and flip-flops and the staff doesn’t bat an eyelash. Try doing that in NYC!

  14. we never had a honeymoon, either, and we got married around the same time ya’ll did (was it ’98 for you?), so we’ll be due a trip then as well. I don’t have any recommendations, though. somewhere that requires a passport, just for the INTRIGUE! plus, I think it would be cool to go somewhere that speaks another language, so that even when you’re in the town square with 1500 people, you are still sort of alone.

  15. I’ve only ever been on one major vacation in my life, and that was to New Zealand… I would go again in a heartbeat, for longer. I definitely vote for New Zealand! The Bay of Islands, and go for a REAL mud bath at Hell’s Gate in Rotorua.

  16. I hate to be negative, but Puerto Rico is crowded, dirty, and depressing. You can kill yourself in San Juan traffic. Hated it! (And I went with someone who grew up there and was used to the crazy driving and theoretically knew where all the interesting stuff was. Precious little interesting stuff, believe me.) Go anywhere but PR. Just my $.02.

  17. I laughed yesterday about the money/judgement thing. I work for one of the large tech companies as an Engineer – I have two degrees and although I am single my earnings are in the top 25% of the US – my company also has a lot of manufacturing technicians and when I told someone where I worked the other day I was mistaken for one. I totally didn’t care I just thought it was funny – when people look at me they never will believe me when I tell them what I do. I just like to save all the money I can – why spend it on expensive clothes etc!!
    As for the vaction if you want to avoid a long plane ride New Zealand might not be your best bet but it would be awesome! I second Costa Rica. We went to Panama about a year ago and it was FANTASTIC!! Take a tour so you don’t have to do anything yourself. They have mountains – they have beaches/islands and they have great food and the friendliest people. Really do go with a tour company though because there are still a few places that are a little scary!! If you want to see some pics just e-mail me! 😉

  18. Have you looked at Jamaica? Love it there! Not a long ride as it’s just south of Florida- plenty of mountains to climb, beaches to sit on, ocean to swim in, rum to drink…..!!
    Also loved your comment about “Betty Sue” in the mall. Never ceases to amaze me the women who must take 3 hours to get ready to go shopping- I figure if my tee shirt is clean I’m good to go.

  19. I just can’t believe that the Mall of America in Minnesota isn’t on your short list of Honeymoon Vacation Dream Spots!

  20. I second/third/fourth Costa Rica! Beaches, rain forests, and he can hike an active VOLCANO (Arenal). I did it in high school and it was awesome, walk around it all day and watch it errupt (only at the very top) at night. It’s beautiful.
    If you go, hit the hot springs in the rain forest, too. It was a great trip!

  21. p.s. My all-time favorite romantic getaway right now would have to be Venice, Italy. Oh sure, there are no mountains to hike right in the city itself but there are mountains surrounding it. And heck, you can get lost just walking around Venice but never have to worry because you are surrounded by restaurants!

  22. How long were you planning on going for? Like if you could swing more than 2 weeks I’d go on one of those tours of Europe. I know you can tour 10 countries in 7 days but I’d rather spend a couple of days or so in each country. My 2nd choice would definately be a cruise.

  23. Well, hubby and I are saving for our 20th wedding anniversary to Italy…but since you’re thinking tropical/beach I suggest really considering Hawaii. The plane ride is so worth it. Just go for longer than a week to make it worth that long ride.
    Second would be the USVI. St. Thomas is not *that* expensive, you can find some really great deals and take day trips to St. John, and the BVI’s.
    Grand Caymen is nice but I dont know if I could spend an extended amount of time there unless you’re really into diving,.
    Jamaica is dirty, dangerous and probably the tackiest of all caribbean islands. hate it.
    Never been to the bahamas but its on the list!

  24. I call you and Fred Walmart Millionaires (not saying you are thats not what I mean just keep reading please!!) I work in a bank and I see everything! The lady who is driving the big SUV dressed in Eddie Bauer making their mortgage/car/credit card payment late. Then the next person in is clean and neat, drives a nice inexpensive car that might be 5-6 yrs old. They have a ton of money in savings and are adequately insured for life coverage. You ARE my DREAM customer Ms. Bitchypoo!

  25. Oh yeah my vacation vote is for white sand and turquoise water- St. Lucia has great mountains too!

  26. Aruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuba!
    For our honeymoon we went on a cruise that hit Mexico, Costa Rica, Panama, Aruba, and Grand Cayman. Aruba was by far our favorite.

  27. I’ve only been to the Bahamas once, but honestly, Atlantis? Not that great. Fun for a day trip, and next time I hope to go for the whole day trip package when you can swim in stuff instead of just look at the fish, but really, it’s a glorified casino/aquarium. You don’t HAVE to stay at Atlantis to enjoy Atlantis, is what I’m saying.
    You could look into renting a condo for a week or two, there’s lots of those!

  28. People who are “flashy”-rich are all probably doomed to get robbed one day. “Look how much money I have!” Um, do you really want to be broadcasting that to everyone who would love to take it from you?
    I say go to Hawaii, but that’s just ’cause I fell in love with Kauai and I didn’t mind the long plane ride…
    Sugarbutt, just say no.

  29. re: pricy hotel rooms.
    What Robyn didn’t mention about the Atlantis is that their rate for a 20×20 room in the decent tower is over $500 per night. Not even a room built in Angelina Jolie’s panties is worth that nightly price.
    Though you’d probably be less prone to catch something at the Atlantis.

  30. I suspect that a lot of “rich” people with their fancy cars, houses, clothes and boats, are actually in debt up to their tiaras. I talked to a constable in Plano Texas, which is packed with very very expensive houses and such, who said he spent most of his days evicting people from those same houses, because they got ahead of themselves or put too much of their income into it and then, the first time one of them loses their job, they have no back-up and lose their house. We live in a tiny house and we like it that way (less to clean).

  31. How about China? Extremely diversified, I’m pretty darn sure you could find everything you want there. Lots of history, artifacts, beautiful vistas, power shopping. PANDAS! For $100 US you can have your picture taken holding a PANDA CUB! I’m going in 2007 and guess what is the most important on my list? I’d love to come across you strolling around there.
    Pat

  32. Just a quick note about cruises…(I worked for a cruise line for a while and I’ve been on one or two to boot)…if you’re not a drinker or a gambler, they really are very much worth the money. All of your food and lodging is included. You guys live close to Florida, so if you decide to do a southern cruise, your airfare will be minimal. Getting up here to my neck of the woods (Washington state) to go to Alaska might set you back a bit though!
    Knowing how much you both like to read, you’ll be in heaven! Grab your book and a soft drink (do splurge for the “all you can drink” cup option when you get on board) and sit by the pool with your book. You’re set for hours.
    Also, if you haven’t considered it, think about Alaska. We only paid for two shore excursions. One of them was sea kayaking. VERY much worth it. Now I’ll shut up.

  33. not having a life where I NEED to impress strangers
    Hear hear!!!
    Ooh, and New Zealand gets my vote, it sounds magic!

  34. Mmmmm…comments 19170 and 19171 were made my Jaime. I wonder if she’s a barista living in Kansas….(Please god, I hope I’m not the only one who read’s Jane’s journal.)

  35. We just returned from a delayed honeymoon and we went to Italy–Florence and Venice. It was wonderful, of course, and the food incredible but we didn’t do much lazing around on a beach or by a pool–that’ll be honeymoon, part II. My vote is a cruise to the caribbean.

  36. You Americans crack me up. Here in the UK, class is about a lot more than money – it is possible to be rich and lower-class, or poor and upper-class. Hence the phrases ‘nouveau riche’ and ‘genteel poverty’. And yes, even the middle classes and upper classes often have THEIR OWN UNSTRAIGHTENED UNBLEACHED TEETH.
    The horror!
    😛
    (Go to New Zealand. Fred will love the scenery, and you will love the people.)

  37. Belize (specifically Ambergis Caye)! Or a different island in the Bahamas (we went to Exhuma and it was reasonably priced and gorgeous – not so much mountains, though – we stayed at the Peace and Plenty). NZ is nice, but an even longer flight than Hawaii. Never been to Costa Rica, but want to.

  38. costa rica is like hawaii 50 years ago. amazing beaches, rain forests, volcanos/hot springs. awesome hiking, kayaking, hot springs, wildlife (monkeys playing in your backyard, sloths, funny looking lizards) you could go to an all inclusive beach resort and do a day trip or two- like hiking through the rain forest, zipping through the tree tops, kayaking to a secluded waterfall. everything is cheap and not over developed. the people are extremely friendly and the country is easy to travel through (very beautiful scenery) should you want to go from volcano to coast. costa ricans are proud of their country and have laws in place to protect their rain forests and beaches, they understand the value of eco-tourism.
    oh and my spanish skills are minimum and we got along just fine. don’t even get me started on the food!
    can you tell that i want to go back and live like a beach bum for the rest of my life?

  39. Robyn,
    I could always tell that you and Fred have money. You don’t have to work. You seem to be able to buy what you want and not worry. You’re very generous (giveaways, Christmas cards/postcards, fostering cats, etc). You seem to have a lot of technology, workout equipment, etc. Good for you–enjoy! 🙂

  40. I’m a frequent reader but I don’t think I’ve before. Have you read the book “The Millionaire Next Door”? It talks about how “today’s millionaires” get that way by doing exactly what you and Fred do — live in a fairly simple home, drive inexpensive cars, save a lot of their income, etc.
    My vote for your trip is a cruise. I never thought about a cruise before I took my first cruise last year and it was awesome. Different cities/countries every day, relaxing days at sea, fantastic solariums to just sit inside and read and look at the ocean, gym, onboard library, lots of entertainment or just quiet. As for eating, in the dining room you can sit with others if you wish to chat, or just eat on your own. My kids require gluten-free diets and they were very accomodating. Royal Caribbean even has rock climbing walls I recommend a room with a balcony.

  41. Never feel guilty for what you have. Your wealth does not put anyone else in a life of poverty.
    Also, I have to tell you that sometimes when I need to go out and run an errand, I contemplate putting on makeup or whatever…and then I think, “What would Robyn do? I do believe she’d just get her errand done and not worry about what the girl at the florist thinks about her dark circles!” You’ve saved me much grief and time!

  42. Ok, I was wondering if you read Ender’s Game, (my absolute favorite book ever) and what you thought of it. I think I remember that you got it for Christmas?

  43. I also recommend “The Millionaire Next Door” as an interesting read about wealth and people’s perceptions, it truly proved my father’s point that you can NEVER tell how much money people have by looking at them. The author wrote a second book (same subject matter), but it is redundant and filled with charts and graphs as I recall.

  44. No pics of the jug before you took it in? Dang!
    I miss watching Oprah (sorta), wish they’d at least show repeats of her better shows here (I am in Istanbul).
    As for your honeymoon, well, what kind of honeymoon do you wish to have? Do you want to have people around a lot or have more intimate surroundings? Do you want adventure or tranquility? I have been on a few cruises and even though I had fun (I was single each time however), I did not really go for the excursions offered, the few I did go on with my first cruise were not worth the extra money for the time and activities. As well, you may or may not end up sitting with people at dinner whom you might not care to dine with, one time we had dinnermates who gloated endlessly about their travels and went as far to talk in great detail about using squat toilets in asia, nice dessert discussion, huh? Of course you can order room service or eat in the casual dining or make other arrangements. I also never heard so much complaining before in my life, I mean, I never really experienced anything so negative on my cruises that I felt a need to complain openly about while ON the cruise, but people like to nitpick and each of the 4 cruises I was on, there were constantly people complaining about the smallest things. I myself would not want to go on a honeymoon cruise for that reason alone, I’d want something a little more private (unless you confine yourself to your cabin, you can’t really get away from people on a ship). The snorkeling at RCCL’s private island was the most memorable experience but that place is hit or miss because of the weather and you only get 1 shot at it. You can’t control your environment no matter where you go but if you want good weather pick a place and time of year when and where said place is likely to be having good weather. That all being said, come to Istanbul! It’s a very romantic city with lots to do and places to see. I have been here on and off (mostly on) since July 2004 and love it. You can see historical places, go for a cruise of the Bosphorus river, take a fishing trip on either the Black Sea or Sea of Marama, go hiking, see both Europe and Asia in one trip (Istanbul is the only city on 2 continents), but do not come here after September, it rains from October-March. Best time is May-July, August if you like it HOT, and September. You could also spend 3 or 4 days in Istanbul and then go down to Antalya (southern Turkey on the Mediterranean Sea) where you can drool over the beatiful beaches, see many archaeological sites, there are areas close where you can go rafting and canoeing, even go for a jeep safari at the Taurus mountains and do all kinds of adventurous outdoors activities.
    http://banadana.blogspot.com/

  45. Turkes & Caicos! The snorkeling is AWESOME! We are going to the Bahamas in June. But our best vacation by far was a cruise to Alaska. We went in July and the weather was warm – we wore shorts! We had an outside balcony – breathtaking waterfalls along the Inside Passage.

  46. And another interesting thing about judging people by how they look, what they wear, drive.. So many people are so freaking in DEBT trying to look like they have money. One never knows WHO has money or maxed out credit these days. Until they go bankrupt.

  47. Robin, I am one of the few people who will tell you NOT to go on a cruise! The thing I don’t like about cruises is that you only have a certain window of opportunity to see the island. For example, the ship will be in port from 6am to 5pm. So you really have to choose in advance what you want to do. Of course the cruises all offer little expeditions that can be yours for an extra price. Many times you will find that if you just go get a taxi and ask them to take you to the place it is cheaper than the same expedition the cruise arranged. At dinner, you have to eat with people you don’t know. And guess what, if you don’t like them, you will be stuck with them all week! Also, they have all these formal nights, it sounds fun to get all fancied up and go to dinner, but only half the people wear formals and you end up going to your room and changing clothes as fast as you can. I would spend my money on some place like Hawaii. Get a nice room (the extra moohlah is worth it) and enjoy the island. And on every island you stop at on a cruise, you stop at ports with zillions of shops. They are not cheap little shops with interesting finds, they are all expensive tourist traps. I know I sound like a real pleasure, but I’ve been reading you for about three years and we have the same attitudes on a lot of things…so, I just thought I would let you know!

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