new logo? Very appropo for this month, methinks. Thanks to creative reader Amy for the new logo!
Next new logo will be up on August 1st.
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So Fred and I were doing something yesterday that required us to be standing in the kitchen – probably getting our 7:00 snacks – and he turned and squinted at me.
“Are you combing your hair differently or something?” he asked. “It looks different.”
“I blow-dried it this morning,” I said. “I’ve been experimenting with different ways to do it.”
Pause. You know what’s coming, right?
“Different good, or different bad?” I asked.
His eyes went wide, and he got a panicked look on his face.
“Just… DIFFERENT!” he yelled, and then ran away.
Jesus christ. After almost five years of marriage, wouldn’t you think he’d KNOW that there are only two ways to answer that question?
1. “I love it the way you have it now. You should ALWAYS do it like that!”
2. “It’s beautiful, but I prefer it the way you usually wear it.”
What I need to do, clearly, is hire a woman to follow him around 24 hours a day, and when he’s asked a question that puts him into panic mode, he can pause time and turn to consult with her before he answers.
I guess the problem is that he tends to have no opinion whatsoever when it comes to my hair. I have a feeling he never really even looks directly at it, and thus if I were to shave it off, it’d take him three weeks to even notice anything was different.
On the other hand, I have an opinion on HIS hair, but when I think his hair looks it’s best (very little or no gel, and mussed rather than carefully combed back), he thinks it looks horrible and refuses to go out into public like that.
Hmph. MEN.
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Speaking of my hair, I realized last night that with the way it’s cut, I could easily do my hair in a style similar to Dana on Season 1 of
Sports Night:
Next time I blow-dry my hair, I may experiment with it and see if I can.
Speaking of
Sports Night, I’ve been watching it while I work out; I just started Season 2, and I’m enjoying it immensely. That is one good damn show. In the past, I never thought Felicity Huffman was all that good-looking, but the more I watch the show, the more I like her, and the prettier she seems to become.
I got
The Office from Netflix on Tuesday, and I started watching it yesterday. I liked what I could understand, but the problem was that I was having a hard time understanding what everyone was saying, because I wasn’t always directly in front of the TV – I was off to the side lifting weights for part of the time. I decided to send it back to Netflix and try it again in the future when I have time to sit in the living room and watch it rather than trying to watch it while I work out.
Also arriving on Tuesday were
Cold Mountain and
50 First Dates, both of which I’m going to watch with Fred.
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Important things to know in life:
1. Unless you want your ENTIRE house to smell like boiled ass, it is not a good idea to put the baggie of poo and pee chunks (that you cleaned out of the litter box) on top of the dryer WHICH IS RUNNING and then wander off to do something else. Because believe you me – when an hour later you’re as far away from the room where the litter box is located as it’s possible to be and still be IN the house, and you are happily vacuuming the rug and you catch the strong odor of cat shit and you curse and stomp around and try to figure out where one of the little bastards shit, and you follow your nose back to the room where the litter box is located, you will GAG at the smell and it will make you VERY UNHAPPY. Also, it might be time to move. I’m not sure you’re ever going to get that smell out of the house.
2. When you have a yeast infection and you buy the box of Monistat and it says on the back “Itching and burning might increase a tiny little bit after medicine is applied”, that is what we where in BitchyLand refer to LIES FROM THE MOUTH OF SATAN. The itching? The burning? It will make you want to grab a semi-sharp knife and amputate the lower part of your body at the waist because JESUS CHRIST, THE ITCHING! THE BURNING! THE ITCHING AND THE BURNING! AND YOU HAVE TO DO THIS THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW AND IT WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE.
3. The decor of any room can be enhanced by the addition of a cat in a fruit hat. Meet Carmen Meownda:
(Thanks again,
Pinky!!)
That is all.
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