asshole with too much time on his hands. I mean, I didn’t really think it was a bomb, but you never know with these things, and when I turned the key in the ignition, my ass puckered until it became clear that I wasn’t going to be blown into tiny bits, at least not this time around. I told Fred about it (he’s responsible for dealing with car shit because I have no desire to) and he came out and looked at it and said – this is a direct quote – “Huh.” “What do you think it might be?” I asked. I grew up with a father who did 99.98% of our car repairs himself, so I always assume men know more about what might be going on with my car than I do. I’ve actually considered taking an adult education class so that I can be more educated when car issues come up, but usually before I can complete the thought “I should take that adult education class about doing small repairs to your car”, I’m face-down in a puddle of drool. Let’s just say the idea doesn’t much interest me. So Fred said “I don’t know. Why don’t you take it to Firestone tomorrow and see if they can figure it out?” “Pffft,” I said. “I don’t do that. YOU take it to Firestone tomorrow.” And he gave me the “My god in heaven, I am married to the most annoying woman on the face of this planet” look and snapped “Yeah, whatever” or something similar and went back inside. A few days passed and then one day after I left the grocery store and was driving home, I thought to myself “Self, this Jeep is not driving the way it should be. Why am I feeling that… drag?” But it was a false alarm, because I was accidentally driving around in second gear, and when I put the gearshift in Drive, all was back to normal. (I never claimed not to be a dumbass) Then a few more days passed and the spud and I were going shopping, and I started the car and the “coolant low” light came on, and I went into the garage to see if we had any coolant. We did, and I went inside to ask Fred where I was supposed to put the coolant and he all but drew me a diagram, telling me that the place to put it was in the front, center. I went back out, coolant in hand (in bottle in hand, even) and looked carefully at the front, center part of the engine and couldn’t find anything that indicated I should pour coolant in it, so I looked in places other than front, center and finally located a cap saying “engine coolant” in the left back corner of the engine. I debated whether this could possibly be the wrong place to pour the engine coolant, and decided there was no way, and I dumped all that was in the bottle into the “engine coolant” tank and when I started the car, there was no more indication that the coolant level was low. Three days later, the coolant level was low again. And I know nothing about cars, but I thought that possibly it wasn’t a good idea to drive around with a low level of coolant, and since I had to go to the grocery store anyway, I made a mental note to look for coolant. Only there was no bottle of just plain coolant at the grocery store. Instead, there was a bottle of coolant/ antifreeze, and I stood over said bottle for a good five minutes having an inner debate with myself. “I don’t want antifreeze,” I told myself. “I want COOLANT.” “This IS coolant,” I responded. “Coolant AND antifreeze.” “But… can I pour it in the “engine coolant” tank if it has antifreeze in it?” I said. That was such an idiotic question that I did not deign to answer myself. So I bought the antifreeze/ coolant and took it home, and then to be sure I could put it in the “engine coolant” tank (shaddup) I called Fred, who said (surprisingly enough) that I could. So I waited a few hours for the engine to cool down and when I was leaving the house to do some errands, I dumped about half the bottle into the coolant tank, and all was fine. Saturday morning, early, Fred took the Jeep over to the nearby oil change place where he knows the manager and feels somewhat certain he won’t get too fucked over. The guy took a look at the car and said “It’s the radiator.” Fred said, “Y’all replaced the radiator a year ago. Is it still under warranty?” And the guy said “I don’t know. Let me go look it up.” Well, long story short (way, WAY too late for that, I know), during the accident Fred was in two years ago, wherein an old lady slammed into him, the something got shoved back against the something and something somewhere cracked, and no one ever noticed it until now, and that’s why the engine is leaking coolant. Also, I way overfilled the engine coolant tank, and all the oil change guys stood around and laughed at Fred until he said “Yeah, my wife did that”, and then they all laughed at me, who was sound asleep in bed at the time. Bastards. So we’re leaving the cracked what-the-fuck-ever the way it is for now, because it would cost an arm and a leg to repair. This fucking Jeep has never given us anything but trouble. Even better, this morning on my way to the pet store, I discovered that the roof of the Jeep, near the inside rearview mirror, is leaking. One of these days I’m going to be driving along and the engine is just going to drop right the fuck out of the Jeep and the roof will fly off, and I’ll have to cut a hole in the floor and run along like Fred Flintstone.

Time to go car shopping!
And I know you won’t be cruel like Fred by not telling us what ya get.
Also, for the record, I had that SAME conversation with myself about coolant/antifreeze and HOW can it do both and WHERE does it go and I WANT MY DADDY!
Heh. My Hubby is the same way. He knows less than zero about cars and He throws a fit if H has to get the oil changed. That is why I married him–to take care of my vehicle, to take out the trash, and to do the yard work!
Heh – you both must be from the south because us Northerners know that antifreeze is needed in the winter to avoid radiator popsicle and coolent is needed in the summer to avoid the melted engine. They need to make antifreeze/coolent combos because of those things called SEASONS! ;-p
ya know, a car salesman once told me that the best time to buy a new car is between thanksgiving and christmas… year end inventory cleanouts and all… we just bought a new santa fe and got a great deal.I know a gas guzzler..but its only 4 cylinder. Well, its not new, its a 2004, never have had a brand new car…sigh, another lifetime I guess.
deb
Okay, the “Previously on Bitchypoo” is hilarious. I am hearing Jeff Probst’s voice in my head as I read it. Oh good lord.
I’m the same way with cars…that’s the hubsters department! My van just had an easy $2 fix, I was SURE the transmission was going out…turns out it needed FLUID to make it actually, you know…operate. Ha. Special kind of car stupid here in CO.
ugh, jeeps! i had a jeep for years that sucked money out of my bank account. on the up side, i now think that i can diagnose almost anything that can go wrong with a car because chances are, it happened to my jeep. good luck with it…
I, too, am a spice wimp. Even the mild Thai food is almost too spicy for my delicate palette!
Bonnie – Of course, I’d NEVER be as mean as Fred. Y’all will probably get so sick of my trying to decide what kind of car I really want you’ll have to take a contract out on me to shut me up. π
Jolene: Hee! That’s exactly how I meant it!
Mary: I’m glad I’m not the only wimp! π
Have you guys ever tried Wasabi Peas? Good stuff, I’ll bet Fred would love them.
I aspire to be just like you when I grow up and live in a place that’s 61ΒΊ during the day in December. It’s super warm here today, at 36ΒΊ.
Oh… didn’t I mention it was in the 70s today? π
Tara: We haven’t tried them, but we were actually talking about them last night. I might have to pick some up for Fred; I’m sure he’d love them!
Okay, I tried to make the chick-peas. Not sure I am baking them to the correct level of “cooked-ness.” The garlic powder turned totally black! Is this a stupid question (don’t answer that), but could you maybe put in a photo of the cooked chick-peas?
Ahhhhh….the pic of Stanley looks like he is licking an icecream cone (instead of his paw)…..he is SUCH a cutie!!
Oh Robyn…..here in MI it is in the high 30’s…and I have my thermostat on at 61. I didn’t even fire up the furnace until the middle of Nov. I used to have a roommate that wasn’t comfy unless she had the thermostat set in the 80’s.
See, hot flashes can be a wonderful thing!!
Nissan pathfinders are VERY reliable. Mine is a 1990 with 179,000 miles on it and has had NO trouble with it at all. I’m just saying …. :o)
It’s almost time for that car you wanted! Hee hee!
That was so funny, thinking of you driving a Flintstone vehicle!!
All I have to do is mention van trouble and the hubby gets that concerned “Ifearformywifeandkidslivesandhowfreakingmuchisthisgoingtocostme’ look on his face. He takes over. No room for laughing at my remedies at the shop, no room for me even TRYING to fix the problem. Because in this household ‘womenknowdickallaboutvehiclesandthismustbedealtwith bytheman!’ Fine by me.
You are getting a new vehicle soon though, I recall you mentioning that in the past… Have to second the notion that this is a great time to buy the ’04’s. We got HIS car last year about this time for a steal.
Duh… was reading with interest the roasted chick pea recipe. I had no idea you had such interesting recipes out there for us. Thanks π
A balmy 20 degrees here! What the hell are you going to do when you come home for Christmas?? Ya big wus!
I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not, but antifreeze is very tasty to dogs (and I would imagine cats), and also very poisonous. You might want to rethink waiting for that repair. π
To make matters even worse there are two kinds of coolant! The “old” kind and the “new” kind. And it is dangerous to mix them! The best way to tell the difference is one is green and the other one is red. =Never= pour one into the other. If you discover you have green and you bought red take it back and get green. They started putting a clear stripe down the side of the bottles so you can tell which one it is. A lot of times the red kind will say “new” or “improved formula” on the bottle.
Robyn – I think you should test drive that cute little convertable bug. In yellow, of course.
Also, you could try chili oil on the chick-peas.
I work in auto parts (unfortunately), so I can tell you antifreeze and coolant are the same/same. It does both jobs, and depending on where you live the mixture of water and coolant varies. The chemical makeup helps lower the freezing point depending on the mix ratio, and the system’s pressure combined with the chemical makeup of the mix raises the boiling point as well to make your vehicle ready to drive year round. There is also a third kind of antifreeze/coolant you can mix with either color. Clear as mud?