The Bold and the Beautiful (Brooke, dearie, even I can’t defend your obsession with yet another Forrester man. I thought I hated Macy, but now that she’s gone, I find that I really rather liked her. Leave those men alone, and get on with it), and then ate lunch, and spent the rest of the afternoon reading and watching TV and swimming. Pure laziness, in other words. So the book I’m reading is called Jemima J, and I’m hugely embarrassed to admit that the reason I bought it is because I read an excerpt in Cosmopolitan, and since it’s about a woman who’s 98 pounds overweight (at least at the beginning), it suckered me right in. As I was reading it last night before bed, though, it became pretty apparent that it’d been written by a skinny woman. According to the author, this is what Jemima J eats in a regular day: A huge bowl of cereal before she leaves for work Two bacon sandwiches, which she picks up at a cafe and eats while walking to work A bacon and egg sandwich at 11:30 A salad from the salad bar, with all the fatty fixins – coleslaw, potato salad, pasta salad, cheese Sometimes a cake, sometimes french fries, sometimes cookies, and sometimes another sandwich at teatime. A couple of chocolate bars to eat on the bus on the way home And all kinds of food, as she stuffs her face all evening long Now, give me a freakin’ break. If she ate all that every day, she’d be WAY more than 98 pounds overweight. The author is apparently one of those skinny people who think that fat people do nothing but eat and eat and eat. Secondly, like I’M SURE she’d eat those bacon sandwiches and candy bars in PUBLIC. No fat woman in this WORLD would eat stuff like that in public, where people could make snide and obnoxious comments. In Camryn Manheim’s book, she talked about her first day of work on The Practice, and how they had a big bowl of candy sitting on her (Ellenor’s) desk, and Camryn objected, saying (basically) "The fat girl wouldn’t have a bowl of candy sitting on her desk; she’d have it hidden in a drawer where no one could see it." Ain’t THAT the truth. Jemima J not only can’t seem to get a boyfriend, she can’t even get laid while 98 pounds overweight. I’m sick and fucking tired of skinny people assuming that fat people can’t get laid. Roseanne Barr/ Arnold/ Thomas once said that even at her heaviest she was beating the men off with a stick. There are a lot of overweight women online, and a huge percentage of them are married, with kids, or have boyfriends. Guess what? The skinny chicks DON’T get all the great guys – hell, I’m proof of that. And I have a pretty active sex life, thank you. f Jemima J can’t get a boyfriend, it’s not because of her weight. It’s because of her attitude. That said, I can’t believe how much I’m enjoying this book. I dislike the fact that Jemima J lost all 98 of those extra pounds – in 5 months, no less, with only one slightly concerned character, who thinks Jemima might be anorexic – and that that’s how she’ll find her happiness, but I’m only two-thirds of the way through the book, so things could change. I’m sure she gets her guy in the end; she damn well better! I didn’t mean to get off on a rant, but really. Can you blame me? ]]>