My sister emailed me this morning, asking me to gather all my Puffkins in one place, take a picture of them, and send it to her. Like the obedient bitchypoo I am, I did so. I’m not sure why she wanted me to do such a thing, and I’m a little scared to ask. Aren’t they creepy all together like that, with their non-armed bodies and malevolent smiles? Like they’re going to wait until I’m asleep and advance upon me to rip my throat out with the sharp teeth they have hidden behind those fakey smiles.

I’ve spent a good part of the day making cds, so that I can delete the wavs taking up a huge amount of disk space. I’ve made 10 cds so far, and I’m only halfway through the "l"s. The most recent cd contained the following songs: lead me on, least complicated, leaving on a jet plane, mrs. robinson (the lemonheads version), let’s get it on (from high fidelity), letting go, life is a highway, life’s gonna suck (love that denis leary), life’s a dance, lightning crashes, linger, listen to your heart, little rock, long december, looks like we made it, loser, lotta love, and love of my life.

With a bit of persuading from me, Fred reluctantly agreed to let the spud keep two of the baby hamsters. My reasoning is that we can stick a female in with the mother and a male in with the father, and they’ll all have someone to play with.

I know what you’re thinking, people. Don’t ever doubt the bitchypoo, I always know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking If you had a clue how to tell which hamsters are girls and which are boys, you wouldn’t have this problem in the first place!

To which I, of course, must respond Bite me! No, actually what I’d like to say in my defense is that I was young and innocent and stupid and far FAR too trusting of the pet store guy who swore on his mother’s grave that both hamsters were boys. Now that we know what to look for – ie, a bulge by the tail (you’d think we’d’ve figured that out ourselves earlier, wouldn’t you?) – I’m a little more confident that we’ll have better luck.

Of course, how pissed am I going to be if I fuck it up royally and we end up with two more litters of baby hamsters in a couple of months, do ya think?