Okay, I give up. It’s never NEVER going to get warm, the warm temperatures we had this time last year are but a faint memory, and it’s going to be 38 degrees and drizzling for the REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE.

That’s just FINE, I can deal with it.

But y’know what sucks? Having lost 102 pounds, I’ve also lost that layer of insulating fat that kept me warm last winter. I wander around constantly freezing my ass off, and even though the thermostat upstairs reads 76 degrees, I’m still bundled up in a pair of sweatpants, a sweatshirt over a t-shirt, and my big fluffy yellow slippers, and half the time I need a heavy quilt over me while I’m on the couch reading or watching TV. Even getting up off my ass and doing something like vacuuming or something similarly strenuous only warms me up for about 5 minutes.

When I’m so cold I just can’t stand it, I go downstairs into the little bathroom near the washer and dryer, which is invariably 10 degrees warmer than the rest of the house, and soak up the heat. The only times I’m not cold are during the night, when we turn the heat down to 69 degrees, but I have a heavy comforter and a lotta love to keep me warm, when I’m in the shower, and (I’m sorry) directly after sex. Even in the mornings while I’m out walking my ass off (literally, I hope), I’m a tad chilled from the freakin’ wind and drizzling rain.

I have to wonder, what the hell do all you skinny people do? Why aren’t you all bundled up in heavy fur jackets in the middle of the summer? What the fuck am I going to do when I drop the last 110 pounds?

For now, I’m going to buy my ass an electric blanket and put it on the bed (the blanket, not my ass), so when I just can’t stand the cold any longer, I’ll turn that baby up on high and slide between the sheets to get all toasty warm. At least, I will if I can find a decently priced electric blanket online. The one kind of electric blanket Wal-mart carries is out of stock in all sizes, Sears apparently doesn’t carry electric blankets, JC Penney said Duh? What’s an electric blanket? I don’t understand. Duh. when I did a search on their site, and Target threw everything and the kitchen sink at me. Maybe I’ll check ebay.

Okay, enough about that. Because next week is the first week of April, I have dubbed it Spring Cleaning Week here in BitchyLand, and intend to go through the house room by room and scrub it to within an inch of it’s life (if rooms had lives), and get rid of all the stuff that’s laying around that we don’t use/ don’t need anymore. The bad side to this is that I won’t be updating next week. The good side is that when I’m done with spring cleaning, I’ll have all kinds of stuff to give away! One Bitchypoo’s trash is another’s treasure, I always say.

I will, of course, be checking my email, and I’ll miss you every second of every day, really I will…

Have a good weekend, and don’t be the butt of any jokes on Sunday, April Fool’s Day. Oh, and don’t forget to turn your clocks ahead an hour before you go to bed Saturday night.

Don’t cry, Mommy will be back soon…