What is it with cats and boxes? There’s an empty box lying on the library floor, and they keep taking turns getting in it and just sitting there. Just sitting there, staring off into space! Do you suppose they’re waiting for the mothership to come get ’em?

Last night, we were watching Small Town X (and may I just say that that Head Investigator Gary Fredo is one cute little number), and it went to commercial, and on came this anti-drug commercial, with a teenage-aged boy and his little brother doing things together like brushing their teeth (or shaving, perhaps, I wasn’t watching that closely), and hanging out, and the little brother was watching his older brother play basketball, and just generally sending adoring looks in his direction no matter what he did. At the end of the commercial, one of the older brother’s friends hands him a joint, and he looks all cool, like he thinks he’s the shit, and then he looks up and sees his disappointed-looking little brother looking at him, and the voiceover says something like "if you take drugs because you want to be cool, what about the people who already think you are?", and the older brother continues to look all confused, like "What the hell do I do now?!"

I turned to Fred and said "He looks all dilemmanated, doesn’t he?"

Fred looked confused. "All what?"

Sometimes you just have to spell everything out for the man.

"Dilemma-nated," I said patiently. "As if he’s struggling with a great dilemma, instead of immediately thinking of the obvious, which would be to hand the joint back and say, with a great look of digust, ‘WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?! I DON’T DO DRUGS! DRUGS ARE BAD!’ Dilemmanated."

Robyn And3rson, creator of the future language of America.

Speaking of anti-drug commercials, here’s another one starring Crackhead Bob. The Crackhead Bob commercials are very very sad, but they always make me laugh. NOT because they’re funny, but because they make me think of the time two or three years ago when a Crackhead Bob commercial came on, where Crackhead Bob is speaking, and it’s obvious that the drugs have done some serious damage to the guy, and from across the room, the spud called out with great delight, "It’s Crackhead Bob!"


Hoo doggie, Andrew Vachss has a new Burke novel coming out in September. The 13th Burke novel, according to Amazon, and though I’ve read ’em all, I only own about 4 of theml. I need to rectify that. September’s going to be a good book month, between the new Stephen King/ Peter Straub novel, and now the new Vachss.

I love me some Burke, yes I do.

I note that Andrew Vachss’ publicity tour won’t be bringing him anywhere around here, damnit. Though that’s probably for the best, since no doubt I’d be a blithering idiot if I ever met the man face-to-face.

Blithering idiot is my specialty, you know.


—– Previously 2000: Trip to Tennessee.]]>