I was in the shower this morning minding my own business when the FUCKING detachable shower head took it upon itself to DETACH, and it came flying at me before I realized what was going on, and hit me smack between the eyes. Holy FUCK did it hurt, which if you were there (and if you were in the bathroom while I was taking a shower this morning, I have bigger problems than being attacked by the shower head) you might have realized from my screamed "WHAT THE FUCK! OUCH! GODDAMN IT!"

Is it just me, or do you get pissed off when you’re the victim of unexpected pain?

I swore for a few more minutes until I started thinking about how it must have looked, with me just standing there, lathering up my hair, when the shower head flooped down to smack me, and then I started laughing, dried off, and went to call Fred and make him laugh as well. I have a sore, slightly red and swollen, spot between my eyes. I guess I’m lucky it didn’t hit lower and break my nose or hit the top of my head and knock me out.

I was reading an old entry of Kathy’s, and the note from her kid made me think of the time not long before we moved to Alabama when the spud wrote in one of her notebooks, "Momma is dum. Daddy is dum. The cat is not dum." God, that makes me laugh almost as much as when she was mad at me for some reason after we moved to Alabama and she wrote "I hat you mommy" on a piece of paper and left it in the hall outside her doorway.

Fred and I have to been known to say "I hat you" to each other from time to time, just to giggle over it.

And Fred just reminded me of the time she made up a report card and gave herself an "A", and Fred an "A", and what did I get? An "F".

I think that means I’m doing something right.

I went back to Petsmart today to get a smaller collar for the pencil-neck geek of the house, and there was a woman walking around with the cutest damn puppy. I think he was a Jack Russell Terrier (but then, I tend to think that any small dog that’s brown and white is a Jack Russell, so no doubt I’m wrong – but then again, after looking at a picture of one, I think I may be right), and I stopped to pet him, and he jumped up on me, and GOD was he adorable. Fred’s been bugging me to get a dog lately, but I think he’s just being difficult, because he wants to get a dog, and then leave it outside all the time. What’s the point of GETTING a dog if you’re going to leave him outside, I ask? He always responds with "They’re DOGS. They’re SUPPOSED to stay outside. It’s not like they’ll freeze or anything!" Hmph.

Okay, since I haven’t done this in the last few weeks, how ’bout some Friday Five:

1. Do you eat breakfast? What did you have today? I do eat breakfast every day, which is a switch from how I used to eat. These days I usually have a protein shake after I lift weights or do cardio, and then have a spinach and onion omelet with a pan-fried potato a few hours later. But today was my free day, so I had a sausage mcmuffin and hash brown (and large diet coke!) from McDonald’s.

2. What beverages do you usually have in a typical day? 4 – 6 liters of water, a protein shake in the morning, a protein/ carb shake in the evening, and 2 (sometimes 3) 12-ounce cans of Diet Coke. As you can imagine, I make 45,000 trips to the bathroom every day.

3. White bread or wheat bread? Wheat, although I had to be dragged over to the wheat side kicking and screaming. For two years after I moved to Alabama, we bought white bread for me and wheat for Fred, but I finally gave in last year and started eating wheat, mostly for the fiber. I’ve gotten used to the taste, though.

4. What’s your favorite kind (potato/tortilla/corn) and flavor of chip? Plain Pringles, though I haven’t had chips in about a month, and was never really much of a chip person.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? I think we’re going to drive up to Lawrenceburg, Tennessee (about an hour away), drive around to gawk like fools at the Amish people there, then pick up sandwiches at Subway and go to Davey Crockett State Park for a picnic and to see if they have a suitable playground for Fred to play on. I’m married to a five year-old.

Y’all have a good weekend!