Be our valentine, bitch! Or our Valentine Bitch. Whichever makes you happiest. And take the new poll to the right, won’tcha?

I’m a polling fool these days.

I’ve been informed that my Valentine’s Day present from Fred will be delivered. He claims it’s not flowers, though. We shall see…

So I stole a pen from the doctor’s office yesterday. Oh, don’t give me that disapproving look – it’s not like he PAID for the pen. It came from a drug rep. Those drug reps are always giving out pens and cool little gadgets and buying lunch for the office staff. I should know – both my sister and my mother work in doctor’s offices. My mom used to keep a big box of Tylenol samples in her cupboard, brought home from the office. I always make it a point to steal a pen from each and every doctor’s office I visit.

This is a good pen, but not the best one I have. The best I own, that I love the most, because it has a good feel in my hand, and it never ever leaks ink is this one:

It’s a pen made by skilcraft for the US Government. You can only get them on bases and in government offices. I love and adore this pen, and no one else is allowed to touch it. It’s mine, and someday it’ll run out of ink, and I’ll be heartbroken and bereft.

I highly encourage any government employees to pass along to me boxes and boxes of these pens.

The other pen I like using these days is another one I stole from a doctor’s office. The best pens seem to be the BicClic ones, but the ones you can buy in the office supply stores just aren’t the same.

Yes, it’s a Pepsi pen. I don’t know what it was doing in a doctor’s office, but I snagged it for my own.

If you work in a doctor’s office, I highly encourage you to steal and send to me the BicClic pens the drug reps drop off. Along with any other cool toys, I mean.

I have quite a collection of pens, all stolen from various places. The red pen in that picture? I found it on top of a toilet paper dispenser in the bathroom of the high school where the spud’s concert took place last week. I wrote "Robyn loves Fred" on the wall of the stall and took the pen. The orange pen is a Tomato Nation pen, and I didn’t steal that one, but I like it all the same. I even have a Xenical pen that I stole from Dr. Judy’s office, but I don’t know where it went. It cracks me up, though. I call it the "shit pen", since one of the side effects of Xenical is "anal leakage." Hee!

I’ve spent the last couple of days yammering at Miz Joley about office supplies (she didn’t believe me when I said I could talk about the most inane things forEVER), so here’s something special to make up for the pain of it.

That’s right – I got the label machine out!

I originally had that label stuck to Miz Poo’s head, but she freaked out about it. Soon after I took this picture, she stomped off in a huff and now she’s not speaking to me.

So, anyone out there follow the Stephen King Dark Tower books? Fred and I do, and we’re trying to figure out who we’d cast in a movie as Roland, the Gunslinger. Fred suggested Val Kilmer, but I don’t think so. I think Josh Hartnett as a young Gunslinger, but who to cast as the grown-up version? Ideas? Suggestions? I just can’t seem to come up with the right actor for the role!

Like I’d have any say in the matter, anyway. It’s not like they’re (as far as I know) planning to make a movie of the series. But I’m a dork with too much time on my hands, yes indeedy.

A pink valentine Russ bear and a heart candle, delivered by Fed Ex. Definitely NOT flowers, and definitely a big surprise. Adorable, isn’t he? (Him, too.)

Okay, that’s it for today. Y’all have a great Valentine’s Day!