Alright, smartasses. 22 of you who took the poll yesterday said you would NOT be my valentine. That’s okay, though. The 77 who will are going to kick your asses.

I got some interesting cast suggestions for Roland, including Goran Visnjic, Tom Cruise, Nicholas Cage, George Clooney, Bruce Campbell, Eric Roberts, David Carradine, David Bowie, Gary Sinise, John Cusack, and Lance Henriksen.

Of that list, I think the best choices were David Carradine and Lance Henriksen, but they’re both too old. I think of Roland as being in his forties; David Carradine and Lance Henriksen are in their sixties. Gary Sinise would be a good choice, but he’s too short. Bruce Campbell’s not serious enough to be Roland, but I think he’d be a good Eddie Dean. Everyone else on the list was either too Big Hollywood or too good-looking, or just not quite right. I don’t think of Roland as particularly ugly, but also not good-looking in a pretty way (which I think Goran Visnjic is).

Last night, Fred and I were laying in bed talking about it, and we started trying to come up with the worst idea for Roland. Fred came up with Joe Pesci ("They FUCK you in The Wastelands!") and Matthew Perry ("Could we BE any more forgetful of our fathers’ faces?!"). I came up with Chris Rock ("You’re SUPPOSED to forget your father’s face, ya dumb motherfucker!"), and Fred was trying to come up with one even funnier. I wandered off to the bathroom, and when I came back, he came up with the perfect Roland.

His name is William Fichtner. He was in Contact, Black Hawk Down, Armageddon, and The Perfect Storm, among other movies. If you watched As the World Turns in the late ’80s, he was bad guy rapist turned good guy Josh Snyder. He’s the right age – 46 – he’s got those intense, piercing eyes, he’s tall and lanky, and he’s good-looking, but not pretty, and he’s got dark skin. I can definitely see him as Roland.

Of course, that’s just our opinion. Yours may vary 🙂

Friday Five:

1. What was the first thing you ever cooked? I don’t remember, but it was probably along the line of scrambled eggs. Does toast count? My sister and I went through a stage when I was 12 or so where we got up every Saturday and made apple spice muffins. I can’t imagine the spud being able to bake anything on her own. Maybe I need to work on that with her…

2. What’s your signature dish? I don’t have one. I can follow a recipe well enough, but I have no real skill at cooking or baking.

3. Ever had a cooking disaster? (tasted like crap, didn’t work, etc.) Describe. When I was married to the ex, I thought I could take a few simple ingredients and make a tuna casserole. I mixed tuna, noodles, and cream of mushroom soup. It sucked REALLY badly, so much so that we each took one bite and tossed it out.

4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal? Boiled lobster, lobster stew, baked lobster, lobster ravioli…

5. What are you doing this weekend? I don’t know. I need to get caught up on my walking, but other than that, I have no plans. I’m sure Fred will get anxious to get out of the house at some point – usually when I’m in the middle of taking a nap. I take a lot of naps on the weekend, have I mentioned?