I don’t need ALL these books, do I? Surely not!, but I never want to take anything off the list, because I want to read ’em all! I’m a greedy book-buying bitch, is what I am. And it’s probably a good thing that I keep very few of the books I’ve read, because we’d need three rooms to contain that many books. Of course, as many books as I have to read – a large bookcase mostly full – I still get all antsy when one of my favorite writers hasn’t published anything in a while. See: Sue Grafton. Edna Buchanan. Carol O’Connell. Andrew Vachss. Upon second look, I see that – according to Amazon – all of the above authors except for Sue Grafton will be publishing books in the fall. Dude. I HAVE TO WAIT ‘TIL THE FALL?! You know, I know what a horrible, selfish bitch I am. There are people out there who can’t read, and I’m in hysterics because I have to wait until June for the next Janet Evanovich. But… but, I have such little pleasure left in my life. Can’t do the crah-cocaine, can’t have the sugared-up Co-Cola, can’t eat the junk food, OH WHY LORD, WHYYYYY MUST I WAIT UNTIL JUNE 18TH FOR THE NEXT EVANOVICH?! Moving on. Looks like Ted Nugent shot off his mouth, talking shit about Ozzy, and then backed right the fuck down. What’s worse, an asshole, or an asshole who won’t stand behind what he says? If you’re going to say something inflammatory and then the wife of the subject of what you said threatens to kick your ass (hee! Go, Sharon!), be a grownup and stand behind what you said, instead of backing down and stammering "Whuh-whuh-whuh-what I REALLY meant was…" Of course, I wouldn’t want Sharon after me, either. God I love that woman. I was paying bills yesterday, one of which was a payment for a renewal of my suscription to US magazine, and as I tore the part of the bill off to toss it in the trash, I glanced at it, and saw this: We’re delighted to have you as a subscriber. Delighted. They’re DELIGHTED. Not just happy to have me aboard, not mildly pleased, but delighted. I got a mental image of my payment reaching US headquarters, and a whistle going off. B. Wilck (who "signed" the letter) running around screaming "Robyn resubscribed! Robyn resubscribed!" and bursting into the office of the managing editor bellowing "Robyn! Robyn resubscribed!", and the editor screaming "Thankyoujeezus!", and collapsing with relief into his fine leather $5,867,0477 chair, secure in the knowledge that US will continue to entertain me and provoke pissed-off rants from me. Delighted my ass. I should call customer service (800-283-3956, for your information) and say "Hi, it’s Robyn. Look, I think it’s about time you put Vic Mackey’s ass on the cover. And while you’re at it, he should be shirtless, mm’kay? Huh? Robyn. R-O-B-Y-N. Anders0n. With an "o". My address? Look, missy, I don’t NEED the attitude. This letter I received PERSONALLY from B. Wilck says that y’all are thrilled beyond fucking belief to have me as a subscriber, and I FUCKING WELL SUGGEST you start acting like it, damn it! Well… No. No, it doesn’t actually say "fucking delighted." It just says "delighted", but I could read the underlying message. Look, while I have you on the phone, could you ask Jen and Brad to give me a call? I’m having a little soiree next month, and I’d like to invite them. I’d invite you too, if you’d can the attitude!" Sh’yeah. Like I’d ever use the word "soiree". We went and picked up our 8 free-range chickens yesterday, stopped to pick up Subway for dinner, and were home around 5:30. That means it only took us two hours this time around. Whee! Of course I took the camera with us, and of COURSE I took a buttload of pictures, but I think I’m going to put them all in an entry tomorrow, so that I don’t have to think up a decent entry before we leave for Gatlinburg. Before I go, though, here are some pictures for reader Linda, who emailed and requested pictures of Tubby as a kitten. We adopted him when he was two or three months old, and I’m pretty sure most of these pictures are around that time. The pictures aren’t that great because the camera we had at the time wasn’t the greatest, but you get the idea of what he looked like. He was but a slip of a kitten! Who’d have ever thought he’d turn out to be the size he is today? And while I’m sharing pictures, here’s one where he’s a little older that always cracks me up. A fly had gotten into the house and was buzzing around the light, and he was doing his best to figure out how to catch it. Ah, Tubby. Gotta love him! —–]]>